chubbydino's dishings

you might know me as cazio on ao3. marvel, ronan lynch, and whatever else.

[chubbydino]

IT'S RELEASE DAY!

The finale and Book 3 for the Redline series is here! This lovely cover art was created by @storm3326 and it's breathtaking in real life!

ORDER YOUR EBOOK AND/OR PAPERBACK COPY!

David Jochmann's life is spinning out of control.

After making history as Formula America’s first gay couple, David Jochmann and Noah Caparelli find their careers at a turning point. With Noah sidelined by a wrist injury, David faces the pressure of defending his championship alone.

But the racetrack is just one of David’s battlegrounds. His abusive father is stalking him, his ex-girlfriend is pregnant with his child, and his new diet regimen is taking over his life. 

When everything starts to fall apart, David must confront his demons and decide what kind of person he’s going to be. Will he find the strength to heal himself and reclaim his future, or will his past destroy everything he’s fought for?

Thanks to everyone who has been with me on this journey so far. My next projects are in the works and I can't wait to announce them soon. Make sure you check out www.emmabarlowe.com to sign up for my newsletter so you won't miss anything!

[chubbydino]

vena cava | chapter 45

The sudden silence hit him like a snapping rubber band. Lando’s brow furrowed, and Daniel’s eyes had blown wide enough that Oscar could see the whites of his eyes without even looking in his direction. “What?” Daniel asked softly, but he wasn’t asking Oscar.

[chubbydino]

vena cava | chapter 44

Vibrancy splashed across Max’s eyes in the dark as he watched the city blur around him with a coldness in his gut. He felt a bit silly for thinking that Miami would make things better. Maybe because it always seemed to fix things back when their problems could be solved with a good night out and enough alcohol to forget what caused the issue in the first place.

[chubbydino]

to de-influence everyone this is how you have to watch the race with paddock access 😵‍💫

[strokingout]

hold on i have to do everything

[chubbydino]

random beginning of a story i'll probably never work on again lol

Charles’s love died in silence on a Tuesday evening. There was no dramatic cry, no crippling hurt or pain, only his black phone screen and texts that weren't coming through. Not to say anyone was trying to send him any. 

Being in a relationship with Max Verstappen, the prodigy of the motorsport world, had drawbacks. Everyone knew that. They constantly asked him about it in interviews: how do you compete against your boyfriend? Do you have arguments about races at home? Do you have to hide strategies from each other? How does it work to have drivers from two different teams in the same household?

He always answered the same: it doesn’t really come up at all. 

[chubbydino]

vena cava | chapter 43

Lando looked him over, assessing him. He’d been doing that a lot lately. It was especially unnerving because “Lando” and “analytical” had probably never been in the same sentence before.

[knownqueerbaiter]

ilya: would you still love me if i was a worm

shane: am i also a worm

ilya: no

shane: i am a human man

ilya: you are still a slow hockey player yes

shane: fuck off. have you been a worm the whole time or did you just become a worm?

ilya: i have been turned into a worm. by a witch. but it’s permanent

shane: oh okay. um. well…i would be sad but i guess i would do a bunch of research about what kind of soil and food and light worms like best and build you a tank with what you need. or maybe two so you could be in the bedroom with me at night and in the living room to see anya and the tv during the day. and maybe let you lie on a wet sidewalk sometimes? i don’t know if worms actually like doing that or if they just like being outside in the rain and the sidewalks get in the way. and i would get you a phone or tablet so you can type to me, but that’s only if you still have your brain and can understand me. if you don’t have your brain and just have a worm brain then i’ll miss you but i’ll still take care of you. though i’d probably do more research to make sure it really is permanent and there’s not another witch who can turn you back. but i’ll take care of you either way

shane: are you crying

[ahotknife]

— MOLLY BRODAK

[boycritter]

the annoying thing about weightlifting is that you have to lift weights that are a little too heavy for you if you want to get stronger. and you have to push yourself outside of your comfort zone in order to keep building muscle. fucked up.

[boycritter]

thank god this same principle doesnt apply to any other skill you want to improve at! that would really suck.

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

drake?

[hazeleyedcat]

josh?

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

where’s the body of christ?

[wyrddog]

[fluffysheeps]

Sea cows 🌊🐄

[solqreclipse]

[chubbydino]

vena cava | chapter 42

“No—I mean, yes. I want you to come,” Max said, choking out the words. “I need you to come.” He’d snagged his heart in that barbed wire again, bloodying his hands as he fought to free it. He didn’t want to make any decisions, he didn’t—he didn’t— He didn’t.

[chubbydino]

hi! i just wanted to say that i utterly adore your maxiel fics. you are my absolute most favourite author on ao3 - i am always so amazed by your stunning prose and the way you're able to so elegantly compose such emotionally intense stories. i first stumbled upon drunk on just being there and it is soo beautiful - i have probably re-read it a dozen times by now. i'm currently completely enthralled by vena cava and it honestly makes my day whenever you upload (i have sooo many feeling on this fic). i'm quite curious as to how you have honed your craft over the years, and what inspires your stories? thank you again for your truly remarkable work and sorry for such a rambly msg! hope you have a good day! :)

this will be kinda long winded because I’ve been noticing a change lately

I honestly think a lot of my prose and inspiration stemmed/stems from my own mental anguish that I used/use as a release and kind of an outlet. I recently started therapy, and my mindset toward writing has dulled, which I hope isn’t permanent.

when I wrote all my previous fics, I experienced the emotion I was writing on the page. I lived in the story and watched it like a movie in my head while also “experiencing” it as the characters to tap into their reactions etc. some of the best stuff I’ve ever written was in hook, line, sinker and i cried just about every writing session in the later chapters.

I’ve a since learned a lot about my own mental health and I think I was using my writing as a self-soothing exercise because no matter how sad or horrible things are in the story, I could control the ending. Maybe a character felt unloved, but I knew they were loved by their person the whole time. There was no guessing or what-if because I already knew how things would go. In real life, I lived in that uncertainty with all the anxiety and self-esteem issues that come with it, though overall I didn’t feel I was living in that kind of state. This included personal life and professional life anxiety - my best writing came during times of unemployment or unrequited feelings, which I don’t think is a coincidence.

As I heal from that way of thinking, I have to work on finding my ability to write well again. I still use vena cava as a way to work out personal feelings, but I hit a wall now before I can really dive deep. i hope it's not noticeable, but i can tell my writing is different now.

[leclercskiesahead]

Carlos confused at Shanghai airport

[luvyouforever-deactivated201810]

emily berry

[biracy]

[Text ID: I was very young when I was cracked open. / Some things you should let go of / Others you shouldn’t / Views differ as to which / I kept hold of everything, just in case. End ID]