some peculiar people

It's, you know, a church sideblog. I'm a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. she/it, aromantic and chronically ill. Header/pfp attributions in pinned

[churchsideblog]

Learn more about the Church of Jesus Christ at https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/learn/about-us?lang=eng

profile pic by Ivar Leidus (src)

header image by Lucas Alexander on Unsplash  

[churchsideblog]

it's going to make all the adults in the ward think i don't come to church because i'm gay (false. i don't come to church because i have diseases) but i think i need to start wearing pride merch in public so that the queer youth in the stake have someone they can talk to who believes them about being queer, but isn't telling them that all men are evil

[churchsideblog]

i should also get some disability pride merch but that one's just like. for me

[hiseyeisonthesparrow]

Ok chat what do I do if I straight up just. Don't like the bible that much. I feel like most of it is probably because of all the christian nationalist meatheads going "SOLA SCRIPTURA!!!!! YOU'RE GOING TO HELL FOR BEING GAY AND OR MORMON. THE SCRIPTURES SAY BEING GAY IS WRONG SO STOP DOING THAT!!!!!! (don't ask us about what the scriptures say about slavery)" But like. So much of it is inaccurately translated and contradictory and made for a time that is not ours. It's hard for me to trust it because of how many people over the last thousands of years have altered it. Maybe I just need to research more about it and then I'll develop more appreciation for it?

[churchsideblog]

I ran this by my mom, who's been doing a sort of scholarly deep dive on all the books of scripture for the past few years, and this was what she had to say:

to answer: You are absolutely right about your reasons to distrust the Bible. It is badly translated, contradictory, steeped in its own history (as are we). It's been altered a LOT and continues to be altered by every wind of doctrine someone wants to promote. I, in fact, read the Bible twice all the way through and really didn't like it. Finally, the third time through on a deep read for an editing project, I finally "got" some things that changed my view of the Bible. I really like it now--but only because I finally understood that the Old Testament is NOT the story of The Good Guys. The Old Testament is the story of a deeply flawed family that God is trying to save despite themselves. It's the story of a covenant that God is trying to make with people--"You will be my people, and I will be your God"--and that WE TODAY have access to also. It shows us God's power. It shows us how absolutely stupid and evil most people are (including "heroes" like Sampson and that dude who sacrificed his own daughter), and how much God is willing to help us learn how to not be evil, and forgive us. And the New Testament is the story of the smartest, most amazing guy who ever walked the earth (Jesus) and how snarky he was with his opponents and how forgiving he was to the people who cried. Like me. I cry. Looking at it this new way has given me a new appreciation for how it is ancient--some of it very very ancient--and still applicable and interesting today IF you are looking for a guide to having a relationship with God--can you trust Him, how do people mess that up, what does he do when we want to change, etc. Those things are in there still. What's not in there is accurate history. We don't even have all of each of the books (some, like Haggai, to the point of it being fragmentary and nearly nonsens)

Personally, I recommend the New Oxford Annotated Bible for a good read--the footnotes help a TON. I also like Josephs Smith's edits to the bible, but they're hard to find (unless you like to read old handwriting).

Mostly, it helps so much to realize it's not the story of The Good Guys. It's the story of God being willing to save normal guys and bad guys.

[doyouknowwhatimeme]

[serenity-bitty]

reminds me of

the shellfish allergy NO NO FUCKING S HRIMP OR HE D IE post

[p1netre3s]

reminded me of this

[churchsideblog]

it's going to make all the adults in the ward think i don't come to church because i'm gay (false. i don't come to church because i have diseases) but i think i need to start wearing pride merch in public so that the queer youth in the stake have someone they can talk to who believes them about being queer, but isn't telling them that all men are evil

[churchsideblog]

the church's website:

me: 👀

the Holy Ghost, really fast: this will not cure your mental illness!

[darthbeans]

cant get this post out of my head

[mormonculturememes]

[bitcoitus]

Please remember that almost everyone around you is traumatized. I didn’t understand this when I was younger. I wondered why people acted so strangely and irrationally. Maybe all children wonder this. The author Robert Anton Wilson said (paraphrasing), “We have never seen a completely sane adult human.” No one makes it out of this life alive. It’s not their fault. Mercy, kindness, forgiving — these are what makes one human. They are other names for love. People break in the strangest of ways.

[bitcoitus]

“Under the present brutal and primitive conditions on this planet, every person you meet should be regarded as one of the walking wounded. we have never seen a man or woman not slightly deranged by either anxiety or grief. we have never seen a totally sane human being." — Robert Anton Wilson

[nerdygaymormon]

[jenny-dreadful]

are people getting super fucked up on pioneer day????? is that something people do??????????????????????????

[burnt-kloverfield]

Safety ads I expect for pioneer day: fireworks safety

Ads I don't expect for a holiday almost solely in Utah almost completely celebrated by Mormons who have a literal diet code forbidding alcohol:

[brothermouse]

Night Vale First Ward

Happy Pioneer Day! This is the day when we remember the brave pioneers who crossed the plains. They crossed mountains. They crossed the rivers. They crossed the US government. They crossed the vicious things in the thrall of the US government. They crossed them before and we will cross them again, if needs be.

We remember these crossings and double crossings, in case our enemies forget.

[palesystemmalfunction]

Boise Temple of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

[pahorans-letter]

these are my own tags but i wrote a short little fic about it while in institute:

Grace can't quite wrap his head around it. "Wait, so . . . Jesus? Like, Jesus from the Bible? He visited you guys?"

Rocky's leg taps thoughtfully. "What Bible, question?"

"Um. It's a book of Jesus's teachings, I think."

"Oh understand. Erid has book of Jesus teachings, too. Very long book. Much to learn."

Grace, raised agnostic and grown atheist, really does not know how to come to terms with the fact that the Eridians know who Jesus is. He hasn’t moved since Rocky mentioned it, not even to fidget. That means that Jesus is real? Apparently? Christianity is right—or, well, the Mormons are right?

"So Erid already knew about humans," Grace states, crossing his arms. That, at least, is something he can address right now. He can work on the whole restructure of his belief system later. "Because Jesus was—is?—human."

"Is not," Rocky says with a vehement shake of his body. "Jesus is like Eridian. Jesus is Rock."

"No."

"Yes. Jesus say so Himself."

"Pretty sure he didn't say that."

Rocky makes a trilling sound that Grace has come to recognize as a huff. "Grace not read Jesus book so he not know. Rocky read Jesus book every day. Rocky baptized. Rocky 𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅯𝅘𝅥𝅮 (endowed). Not Grace."

Grace rubs his eyes with his palms, knocking his glasses entirely off his face. "Well then, how did they crucify him?" he asks, not even trying to hide his frustration.

“No understand word.”

"Crucifixion? They make a cross, like this?" He makes a cross sign with his fingers. "Nailed Jesus up there? How would they nail him if he was a rock?"

Rocky doesn't even hesitate. "Strong nails. Not cross. Asterisk."

Grace just barely doesn't burst out laughing at that image. It makes sense, he supposes. An Eridian Jesus would have to be crucified on an asterisk.

"Look, Rock, I'm no expert on Jesus," Grace says, raising his hands in surrender. "But maybe we have two different ones? Because I'm pretty sure he was human on earth, and the whole thing he did was die for our sins."

"Yes. Die for our sins."

"I mean, like, earth's sins."

"No, die for all sins. Earth and Erid."

"Did he die on Erid, too?"

"No. Jesus died somewhere else. Rocky now know was earth. Came to Erid after."

It doesn't make sense. It would be like - like saying Jesus went to the Americas after he died in Jerusalem, or wherever it was.

Then again, none of this makes any sense.

"Okay," Grace relents, before Mary can intervene on what sounds to her like a conflict. "Okay. So, Eridians are Mormons?"

"Yes, 𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅯𝅝," Rocky says, a word that sounds like a four-part harmony lingering on a high note. "Mormon. ocky will teach Grace! Like science!"

He might as well learn about Erid's religious culture before they arrive. It's definitely something he ought to be at least passingly familiar with. "Sure, buddy. Teach me."

Rocky hops excitedly. "Yes, yes, yes! Rocky set apart as missionary in case of aliens. Preach My Gospel in my room!"

Grace laughs. "A missionary? Like, one of the guys with name tags?"

Rocky hums. "Yes, I need name tag. Grace make Rocky name tag."

"You don't need that."

"Human missionaries wear name tag. Rocky need name tag."

"Rock."

"Cannot be consecrated missionary without name tag."

Grace sighs. "Fine, but it's gonna be made of paper. Happy?"

"Happy happy happy! Like Plan of Happiness!"

Grace doesn’t ask what that means. He’s sure Rocky will explain everything in-depth, whether he wants to know or not.

[churchsideblog]

Being a nocturnal weirdo with a deep love of snakes and wild beasts and the nighttime makes a lot of Christian symbolism kind of awkward for me

[churchsideblog]

youtube's search suggestions for me...

[giftsoutright]

“Christ’s wounds were in fact not healed. He’s got them now, in Heaven. He had them when He appeared to the disciples; they’re part of the imitation of Christ by the stigmatic saints. God heals some wounds. Others, He glorifies. He transforms them in some way we can’t necessarily imagine beforehand, just as we can’t quite imagine what it will mean for our flesh to be glorified in the Resurrection.”

— Eve Tushnet. This is an astonishing insight to me.

[what-even-is-thiss]

The Honest Hearts DLC for Fallout New Vagas has:

A noble savage problem

Only place in the game you can buy coffee

The coffee is sold by a Mormon for some reason

[what-even-is-thiss]

I figured that finding infinite gun glitches are just what Mormons do when they’re not trying to baptize dead people or something

[what-even-is-thiss]

I have to imagine that Joshua Graham isn’t a very good Mormon what with his black coffee and working for a guy who claimed to be the son of a pagan god and his black magic infinite pile of guns to clean

[horizon-penblade]

the coffee spawns as part of the gun duplication glitch. he's trying so hard to get rid of it all without drinking it himself.

[image ID: "#The primary Mormon has an infinite supply of 1911s to cleam and reload"]