Lebsabin

[faggottt]

[valtsv]

What if a dinosaur had got in the lake

thank you so much for reminding me of one of my favorite standup bits of all time

[janmen-portfolio]

Fall of Icarus/Hubris of Man

2019, colorised

(And reference)

[janmen-portfolio]

people have tagged this as life imitates art, and I need you to understand that no, I saw this picture of my friend falling off the got dang swing and thought it represented human hubris so well that i went into a made haze of acrylic paint and when I awoke I was holding this finished canvas.

[blackness-by-your-side]

this 👆🏾

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

Do these straight people just like

Not actually comprehend anything happening right in front of them

[the-sunshine-cult-deactivated20]

heteronormativity is a hell of a drug

[bimbinis]

May I add:

[reverend-spines]

Once on Facebook I mentioned getting married at a big mad max themed campout. One of the guys that regularly attends told me to take my wife to visit his camp for a drink. I told him my husband, actually.

And he then said “wow, I’m sorry, I’ve never met a girl named dave before! Now I’ve seen everything.”

This dude thought I was a girl name David before he thought I was a gay man. Straight people are wild.

[weeping-wandrian]

why the fuck does english have a word for

but not for “the day after tomorrow”

???

[zeplerfer]

Because you’re not looking hard enough! ;)

Overmorrow = the day after tomorrow

Ereyesterday = the day before yesterday

Example: I defenestrated my brother ereyesterday. I shall defenestrate my sister overmorrow! Because I hate my family and also windows.

[wantcookie]

english has some of the best examples of stupidly specific words, tbh

Rhotacism (n): excessive use of the letter “R”

Lingible (adj): meant to be licked

Whipjack (n): a beggar, specifically one who is pretending to have been shipwrecked

Yerd (v): to beat with an object with a stick

Roddikin (n): the fourth stomach of a cow or a deer

Balbriggan (n): a type of fine cotton, most often used in underwear

and my personal favorite

Cornobble (v): to slap or beat another person with a fish

[somewhatgreatexpectations]

This makes the English nerd in me extremely happy.

[carefulpyromancer]

[axis3100]

This is just what I needed to brighten up my day

[creaturey]

“wow all these lesbians are so cute and nice and i can’t stop thinking about them! 🤔 …i guess i just think they’re neat!”

[therealfelixrichter]

[mens-rights-activia]

Anemone runs from starfish

[buzz-buzz-bitch-its-bee]

[ham-of-war]

[vfevermillion]

[mens-rights-activia]

Anemone song is NOT shitty, delete this 😡😡😡

[liquid-geodes]

Dance fucker dance

[faythinthemusic]

I want to be really clear about something: Planned Parenthood has done more to prevent abortion than the pro-life movement ever has.

[savordance-lifesupport]

Yup, preventing abortion by giving abortions. Makes sense!

[apoeticmindset]

No you fucking crusty nutsack giving people the education and the tools to not become pregnant in the first fucking place

[ghoulvalentines-archive]

One of my Christian friends made a Facebook post about how PP gave her tons of resources when she was trying to get pregnant and people were actually genuinely shocked that they provided such resources; they had fully bought into the idea that PP is just an “abortion factory”. The misinformation that’s been spread about PP is unreal.

[osheamobile]

gosh it’s almost like Planned Parenthood will help you plan for parenthood

[deanhoney-deactivated20220819]

oh to live in the treasure planet universe

[deanhoney-deactivated20220819]

oh to have a huge petticoat and a lazer gun and travel from planet to planet in a large 18th century style spaceship

[afewofmyfavoritethingsblr]

You just want a cat wife dont you

[deanhoney-deactivated20220819]

[valtsv]

i don’t actually have any concept of how big dinosaurs were most of the time and when i do it always messes me up

[valtsv]

book about dinosaurs that 9 year old me was obsessed with: some of them were bigger than houses!

me: cool

me after looking at a house and imagining a giant lizard the exact same height standing next to it:

[valtsv]

me after visiting a museum and seeing giant bones that are longer than i am tall

[solarsyrup]

Since the two best-selling games of all time are Tetris and Minecraft, I think we can safely say that people fucking LOVE squares

[k25ff]

(art by soup-erb on Tumblr)

[sushinfood]

Excuse the fuck out of all of you but you’re

ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.

[melvinandlugnut]

OH CRAP I FORGOT ABOUT THE CUBE

[tonightweredrinkingfromthebong]

screenshots dont do this justice

[broitsablog]

*inhuman clicking*

[frostychica]

the millennial steve irwin

[shamansantics]

INHUMAN CLICKING LOLOLOLOL LMFAO

[azealiabanksy]

so my uncle is a priest and apparently can’t deny when i ask him to bless something so i now have a blessed laptop, blessed loaf of bread, and blessed underwear. 

[azealiabanksy]

i just asked him to bless this post and he did 

[poly-carbon-based-lifeform]

This post is officially the most holy post on Tumblr.  Use it to banish sins from your dashboard.

[femcassidy]

really excited to go up the mountain with my dad to sacrifice a lamb

[femcassidy]

looks like he forgot to bring the sacrifice but im just happy to take a walk with him

[zvaigzdelasas]

Hey op any updates?

[thebootydiaries]

Grown ass men still smoking cigarettes. Snort cocaine like the rest of us Coward

[luna--starlight]

Okay but cigarettes haven’t been known to be cut with Fentynal and make people (instantaneously) drop dead

[thebootydiaries]

You fool. What is manlier than death

[redfingerfish]

2 deaths

[thebootydiaries]

I am giving you 3 minutes to delete this comment

[peanutpalace-deactivated2023011]

[cactuarplush-remade]

thinking about……. her