HONK HONK BZZ

your heart is full, and now it's spilling- beach house

[purrtyhatemachine]

fav nathan fielder tweets

[2beer]

[utopians]

veil's been thin these past few days. anyone else notice that the veil's been thin these past few days

[that-twink-over-there]

[yesterdaysprint]

Feather River Bulletin, Quincy, California, March 20, 1924

[gablehood]

[deadbeatmaker]

[docpile]

[mercedesbenzodiazepine]

I love locking my door like…you’re not coming in lmfao

[radiant-moonchild-deactivated20]

This post is honestly so iconic like every time I lock my door I literally think about this

[excitementshewrote]

[valtsv]

new tarot card “fuck your entire life” and its a guy being attacked by devils and flaming skulls and wild animals and screaming and fire everywhere

[inthefallofasparrow]

[cinematicmilffart]

ok i picked this card what does this mean is it good

[catchymemes]

[fredersen]

[dayman]

[annie-himym]

[frostytherobot]

i like him a lot

[kafk-a]

people are literally inventing love everyday

[catastrofries]

Yesterday morning I woke and I was really uncomfortable so I went to roll over and slammed right into my husband. Annoyed I very hotly told him,“ You are on my side.” To which he responded by throwing his arm around me snuggling up and whispering, “Always.” before falling back asleep.

Damn adorable bastard.

[inkskinned]

she asked me if i believed in god and i told her that when i was four i almost drowned in a public pool and in my panic mistook a stranger for my father. i clawed my way up his leg. four years later he’d send my parents a picture of the scars alongside a tin of cookies. he said, “i hope she’s still okay. i carry her with me. it isn’t every day you save a life. it isn’t every day you feel like you were here for a reason. when it does happen, you have to cherish that memory. for once, i had a purpose. just being there was enough. she tore me open but she taught me a lot about love.”

[tyltos]

[audliminal]

Me meeting a genie: Okay, so my first wish is for 1000 dollars a day, deposited to my bank account without any way of tracing it to anything illegal. I want this money to come from the ten richest people in America (100 dollars each), withdrawn under the guise of nebulous, random purchases and surcharges. It would probably be best to split the money into a myriad of smaller fees, though, to reduce the likelihood of anyone noticing. Got all that?

Genie: um

Me, continuing on without a care: For my SECOND wish, I want you to give me the ability to learn any given phoneme, so that I can learn to pronounce new languages perfectly. If you're willing, it'd be nice if it were a little easier to memorize new languages too, but if that's not cool, I'm perfectly fine doing all the legwork myself I mostly just want to be capable of pronouncing things correctly.

Genie, now staring at me like I'm insane: ......okaaayyy?....

Me: For my third wish. I want to always have great ideas for gifts for people. Every birthday, every holiday, I want to be able to come up with something they'd really like, with enough time to actually get it for them.

Genie, just staring at me

Me: I can provide you with a written document if that would help.

[beautifulscreaminglady]

people like op are the ones that get memorialized in folk tales for outwitting the devil

[hymnostic]

james dean, sal mineo & natalie wood // anne hathaway, audra mcdonald & raúl esparza // ben whishaw, matthew goode & hailey atwell