37 TISSUE BOXES FULL OF PARAKEETS

[[INACTIVE BUT I STILL CHECK UP ON THINGS. DELIGHTFULLY CRINGY ARCHIVE]] Hi! I'm a girl (she/her), my name's Emily, and welcome to my Tumblr hell :) 17 | ace/aro | ADHD | Libra | visually impaired | voice actress | owner of the danganrebirth-voices ask blog | multifandom | musical trash

[garfield-69]

Idk, here take a glittery gay Yugi.

[phillip-bankss]

an object from my dream last night

it was just the microwave i have in real life that someone sharpie’d a bart in. it wasn’t big, like large enough to fit a person or even be considered a “room”, yet everyone in my dream (myself included) referred to it as “the bart room”

what does this mean

[glumshoe]

Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy.

I’d brandish my obsidian knife at them and they’d be compelled to approach. “That’s very cool,” they’d say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. They’d shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. “But as it is volcanic glass, it’s very fragile, you see, and isn’t well-suited for use as a weap—” and then I’d hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.

[reblogging-dragon]

Showed my Geologist dad a picture of the obsidian knife you had and he nearly said this exact thing word for word. I can't believe my own father would fall prey to this. Clearly you know thine enemy

[glumshoe]

I work too closely with geologists not to have a contingency plan for eliminating them.

[randomslasher]

Sent this to my geologist brother:

[glumshoe]

I’m coming for him sooner or later...

[slimetony]

Visit Original Link

[ofdreamsanddoodles]

it’s not 2020 where i am yet, but here’s my nomination for the first meme of the new decade

[arnieinthesky]

Visit Original Link

[doktorpeace-deactivated20251208]

[fuade]

[lesbianshepard]

i love when professors try to use modern slang to relate to students. my professor referred to the theater of pompey as “the place where caesar got vibe checked by a bunch of senators” and i lost it. 

[lesbianshepard]

Vibe Check (1806) by Vincenzo Camuccini

[unfaggy]

we should totally just vibe check Caesar!!!

[astraldemise]

[saturniidae-served-cold]

[weirdmageddon]

wheres the gif of link opening a treasure chest barefoot and he kicks like an idiot it and hurts himself its so goddam funny

[weirdmageddon]

it’s like what were you expecting lmao

[meefling]

Have u seen what happens when u crouch and open a chest from the side

[galactic-polywag]

No I have not what happens when u crouch and open a chest from the side

[weirdmageddon]

i tried it in my game and made it a gif for your convenience

[hogwartsfemme-deactivated-deact]

LINK WHY

[lordmogatron]

He is the HERO of TIME

Not the SMART of STUFF

[viostormcaller]

Botw Link is feral and you cannot convince me otherwise

[cephalophor]

The first funny bitch was Cain, who straight up lied to God after killing his brother.

[nakedinasnowsuit]

God: where’s Abel?

Cain: fuck if I know??? I’m not in charge of him

[thewitchway]

It is TRAGIC that you can’t read this in the original Hebrew.

God:  Where’s the Sheepkeeper?

Cain: Do I LOOK like a Brotherkeeper? 

[careful-crow]

God: hey where’s Abel???

Cain:

[turings-deactivated20180627]

in an attempt to appeal to the pathos of my potential employers, i wrote my resume using the same format a no-kill shelter would use to describe a geriatric dog

[turings-deactivated20180627]

i am a gentle, mild-mannered young man looking for a forever job to spend the rest of my years in. though i may not be the most talented and versatile person on the job market, i’m the perfect employee for someone out there, and that someone just might be you(r company)!

[sashayed]

I’m a very special girl who has captured the hearts of all our volunteers, but just keeps getting overlooked when it comes to that forever boss to call my own! Could it be you? I can use Excel and the toilet. Vaccinated.  

[in-this-light-on-this-evening]

Wasteland, Baby! (2019) - postcards

[strangehorse]

Whoever did these photos really, really understands what women want. There’s no rippling muscles or pouting at the camera or crotch shots; instead, there’s a soft-eyed long-haired man reading a book in an underwater paradise. Whoever did this looked at all of the media produced and aimed at women and concluded, correctly, that Mr Darcy coming out of the water in the 1995 Pride and Prejudice is where human sexuality peaked.

[rockofgelato]

I truly don’t understand how the female gaze is still so hard for the media to nail down when the Simpsons gave them such big hints.

[in-this-light-on-this-evening]

Kudos to this gorgeous girl (Lucy Nuzum) for doing god’s job:

[prismatic-bell]

So here’s the thing, not only did he have a woman doing the photography (and I suspect made that decision on purpose–if you flip through his old photoshoots you can tell he’s more comfortable with a woman behind the camera), his mum is his art director, and he’s like super hella proud to have her doing that job and basically she says stuff and he just goes “sounds good, I trust you.”

So Lucy Nuzum did an amazing photography job, but it was Raine Hozier-Byrne who went “what exactly can I do to meet both the album themes and the desires of his fanbase, which is 98% women and 2% gay men and other queer people who aren’t women,” and came up with “I know, let’s try to make him look like a drowning Oscar Wilde.”

[attention-deficit-dragon]

Man losing stuff when you have ADHD is the worst. Stuff just like… vanishes. People will ask: when did you last have it? Well I don’t know dude. I just know it exists and I don’t know where it is currently doing that.

[mithavt]

[gallusrostromegalus]

If you write down the results and properly format the paper, it even counts as science!

[angrypedestrian]

When I was in college, there was a solid year where our lgbt group did this with two bathrooms at the end of a hall that were used by like, maybe 20 people. They would put up gendered signs and we kept stealing them. And then we started writing random things on the walls INCLUDING full word for word copies of personal ads from the back of 1980′s advocate magazines.

It got to the point where the building management was on a hunt trying to find who was doing this and we had to start hiding our faces so as to not get caught on the security cameras. Our faculty advisor came down to the office one day and was like “do you guys know anything about this” essentially as we’re trying to close a comically full drawer of stolen bathroom signs, and we’re like “no” and they were like “great.”

They never caught us. 

[seshrat]

my flatmate has just rocked in with the two lesbianest lesbians i’ve ever seen and introduced them as “my sister and my sister’s… roommate”

[seshrat]

[wrathofthestag]

You know what’s wild? Remembering that children hear things for the first time without context and are literally like, “What?”

I just said “See you later, alligator” to a four-year-old and I think it was the first time they had ever heard that.  They froze in their tracks, looked at me completely bewildered then replied, “See you later, chicken” and kept walking.

[roboticonography]

My friend’s four-year-old put on a backyard puppet show for me, the sole audience member.

Halfway through the show, she asked me if I liked it, and I replied, “I can’t wait to see what happens next! I’m on the edge of my seat!”

Hearing this, she carefully put down her puppets, came over to where I was sitting, and explained, “You can use the whole seat. It’s more comfy.”

[kittensnax]

I was about 4 years old with a babysitter once and we were going for a walk around the cul de sac. When I fell behind she said “come on slowpoke” and I froze. I had no idea why she was talking about pokemon. So I just said “alright blastoise”

[theglowpt2-deactivated20200101]

oh you think your life is hard? try being a gay rat living in france who hates your dad and just wants to cook

[owlistic]

why did this post make me realize there are no female rats in this movie

[deathdaydreamm]

actually there is, she has one line at the end when she says “how do you know?”

ok I just skimmed though the movie again, and here she is in the beginning, she just doesn’t say anything, and you wouldn’t guess she was a girl because they didn’t do that weird humanizing, tits and longer eyelashes thing that most movies with animals do.

i’m pretty sure that all the female coded rats are the smaller rats, which is apparently accurate to real rats. Remmy is also really small. after going though the movie I realized that there are only five rats that have actual lines. Remmy, Emile, the dad, the really big bodyguard rat, and the rat at the end. whack.

[gabriellegibby]

>girl rats are smaller

>Remmy is smaller

>Remmy is trans