Nerd World

You can call me Citrus! (ouo)bShe Pronouns - 24 - Gemini - ESFJ

[multiple-non-alcoholic-dogs]

my roots

[the-greentext-guy]

[raimagnolia]

Yeah, once I saw him talking about pulling up his grades, I had wondered why he was using the term incel.

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

I had a nightmare last night that some guy just....approached me with a super fancy knife and stabbed me with it. I remember thinking what a cool knife it was....maybe by all rights a dagger, but mostly that I was getting stabbed which was not ideal.

I wrestled the knife from him and killed him, and he seemed relieved which was......not good. I thought hm. Okay. I need to call the police or something.

But then all of my stab wounds started to heal and I thought. Hm. That’s not good. This is definitely a cursed dagger. What do I do with this thing.

I took it home with me.

I tried to go about my week with as much normalcy as I could. I went to work and to class with the Cursed Dagger TM in my backpack and a slow but steadily creeping panic attack about the whole thing.

And then after a few days of that, some woman showed up at my house. She also had a Cool Knife, which was immediately obviously bad news.

She attacked me and stabbed me multiple times, which was decidedly a bad experience, and then I got a hold of my own Cursed Dagger and got her back.

But this time, after she died, she got back up while my wounds healed,

And she thanked me.

And she told me that she was one of seven people I’d have to kill. That she had been possessing her current body and the body needed to die by the hand of my Cursed Dagger so that she could take it over for good.

She told me I was supposed to somehow trigger the apocalypse, and that six others would come to fight and then serve me in the same way she had and would.

I was like wow this is TERRIBLE news!!!

I could tell she sort of....worshipped me for some reason, but I also knew I couldn’t make the call to Not trigger the apocalypse or whatever because she would turn on me.

Throughout the dream three more people showed up and predictably stabbed me a lot.

Every time I got one of them, a tally mark appeared on my collarbone.

In the midst of it all, I drove us all to Taco Bell and they said they were out of chalupas.

It was the most devastating news I’d gotten all week.

I’d been stabbed at least eleven times that hour and they couldn’t even give me a chalupa.

Typical.

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

Bear in mind this dream sounds cool but the reason they were out of chalupas is that they donated them all to the local deer rehab facility and I thought to myself “right, chalupas are really great for fawns”

[windycarnage]

when u have so many things u want to draw that it becomes overwhelming so u just do nothing

[astrodael]

Ok so last week I was hanging out with a friend and he told me that, when he was a child, he used to have a vhs tape with some random tv shows on it. And he says, “you know that sheep gif? that show was on the vhs, but I can’t remember how it was called, and google isn’t helping.” so we spent the weekend trying to find it, and we did! anyways the video was made by a cult

[fuchinobe]

This post sent me down an insane rabbit hole last night, the cult that made this has a thing for fantasizing about having sex with Jesus:

Cool tips for hot sex!

[pigeonbusiness]

I have never encountered a post that legit made me feel like I’ve been punched in the chest before.

[hungry-skeleton]

This started as a relatable artist meme but quickly turned into a horny cultist-driven train wreck

[vivaciousarcanist]

[citricfox]

For those of you who don’t know, they also highly preached about encouraging pedophilia. They held up a child as a holy figure that they called “Little Ricky” or “Davidito” and molested/raped him for a long time. He ended up getting out of the cult (around age 25), but went back with a plan to kill those who had abused him. He ended up killing one of his mother’s associates who had been part of the cult, and had also planned to kill his mother. He committed suicide shortly after, unable to handle his feelings in regards to the murder and his long, long history of abuse.

[athenastudying-deactivated20220]

US things that I only know from the internet/tv and that i won’t believe until i’ve seen them with my own two eyes: 

girl scouts selling cookies

garbage disposals

regular school assemblies 

PSAs

coupons

[athenastudying-deactivated20220]

can’t believe i forgot 

cheerleaders

serious school sports teams

spirit week (still not convinced this isn’t a myth)

[winterbirb]

I can’t believe, in an industry ripe with falsehoods, you managed to list everything that actually exists

[valtsv]

king claudius is actually the funniest character in hamlet

[valtsv]

the guy spends most of the play unable to understand why he feels so guilty despite having literally just murdered his brother, married his wife a couple of months after he was laid to rest and spent all his free time thotting it up in court and then when he finally realises, only thanks to watching a play where he's the villain mind you, that what he did was, in fact, Bad, instead of repenting for his sins or promising to lead the kingdom better to make up for it or something he just snaps and is like "i cannot fucking WAIT to kill my nephew"

[williamshakespearethings]

Claudius: *kills Hamlet’s father*

Hamlet: Claudius is a horrible person because he killed my father!

Claudius:

[valtsv]

i want to be WOOED!!! i want to be ADORED!!! fuck anyone who says it’s “cheesy” or “a cliche” i want to be ROMANCED!!!

[perringwrites]

please play Gone Home

[blaze-kitty]

[link] to the tweet chain

[lkphotographic-deactivated20210]

The sunset yesterday was breathtaking. I’m living for the cotton candy clouds aesthetic lately.

[citricfox]

Hey yall I made a photography tumblr for my personal work! I’d really appreciate if you could check it out!

There’s also a link to my IG if you’re into that too

[kimcheehan]

[machigaeru]

I started Hebrew, which is why I’ve been dead on this blog, but I don’t think I can ever properly convey to you guys the sheer cultural whiplash of spending years learning Japanese from Japanese teachers and then trying to learn Hebrew from an Israeli

Japanese: you walk into class already apologizing for being alive Hebrew: you walk into class, the teacher insults you and you are expected to insult her back

Japanese: conjugates every single verb based on degree of intended politeness, nevermind keigo and honorifics Hebrew: Someone asked my teacher how to say “excuse me” and she laughed for several seconds before saying we shouldn’t worry about remembering that since we’ll never need to say it

Japanese: if you get one stroke wrong the entire kanji is incomprehensible Hebrew: cursive? script? fuck it do whatever you want, you don’t even have to write the vowels out unless you feel like it

Japanese: the closest thing there is to ‘bastard’ is an excessively direct ‘you’ pronoun Hebrew: ‘bitch’ translates directly

[memory-thought]

The span of human experience is so insane.

[flowerinaflame]

I’m reading this thing about how farmers in Japan considered thunderstorms to be good luck because they’d make more mushrooms grow so some Japanese scientists created this lil electrical machine that they wheeled through the forest administering shocks to the ground to simulate lightning strikes and the areas that they shocked yielded twice as many mushrooms as unshocked plots of land ⚡️🍄

[flowerinaflame]

https://blog.mycology.cornell.edu/2013/01/20/zap-lightning-gods-and-mushrooms/

[jerk-jock]

the fact that we reached a point where we can simulate fake storms to make little buddies grow twice as much is like magic but slightly to the left and just down right delightful

[alloverthegaf]

crime show: well we don’t know what time she was taken but as you can see in this convenience store security footage she’s mouthing something and our lip reading technology tells us she’s saying ‘those three wise men they’ve got a semi by the sea’ which are lyrics to James Blunt’s song ‘Wisemen’ which was playing on that store’s favoured radio station at approximately 3:18PM and she disappears from view exactly five minutes later so therefore

[alloverthegaf]

crime show: now see usually we’d manage to get a timestamp from the security footage but unfortunately in this case the cameras only record a live feed and while you would think this means we shouldn’t be able to see the footage at all, luckily a famous Twutch streamer happened to be using it as their background footage while recording yesterday so

[jenroses]

yes, but can you blow it up and enhance it?

[alloverthegaf]

unfortunately this particular footage is extremely low quality and very grainy but as I zoom in on this super blurry pixelated image you can see the details become much clearer and easier to identify

[paintmeahero]

But what about the extremely specific pollen found on the camera lens?

[alloverthegaf]

good eye! originally I didn’t even notice it was there but while combing through the footage I noticed three different people sneezed while in view of the camera. I did some research and found that the particles represent the pollen of this obscure plant life that is native to this particular state, which really doesn’t help us, except that it only ever blooms in the opposite season! So I did some digging and found four nurseries within a 50 mile radius, only one of which sell that plant all year round, which of course means

[mongolman101]

Hold on just one moment! If the twitch streamer was using the cameras live feed as background, then we should know the time of the crime! The twitch archive should mark how long the streamer had been on by the time of the perpetrators presence onscreen, and if we know when they went live, we will know the time the perpetrator was in the building!

[alloverthegaf]

DAMNIT JONES THIS ISN’T YOUR CASE

[mongolman101]

WELL IT’S MY CASE NOW! The Captain thinks your kidnapping is related to my investigation into that cult up state. So, apparently, we’re supposed to work together. I’m not any happier than you are.

[alloverthegaf]

but I hate sharing!

[mongolman101]

TOUGH SHIT MCNAMARA! Your kidnapping case is somehow connected with that cult that’s been sacrificing its members to in the belief that it will appease the elder god Cthulhu. Now, I don’t like it any more than you do, and I’m worse at sharing than a toddler with a new favorite toy, but lives may well be on the line here! Are you willing to put aside our differences, and do what needs to be done?!

[alloverthegaf]

Alright, but when we catch the perp he’s mine. I don’t care if he’s sacrificed a hundred victims to goddamn Mickey Mouse! That man may know who killed my father, and I won’t let anyone get in my way - not even someone with your develish smile.

[mongolman101]

Do you think you’re the only one who wants to find Eric’s murderer?! He was my partner! He was my friend! I know we haven’t worked together before, but this case will have us working together for a while, until we eventually find your fathers killer. And I can see this case taking us a long time, and defining both of our lives for the foreseeable future. But don’t worry McNamara, my years of experience on the force, put together with your grit, tenacity, and loose understanding of the rules will make for a great partnership, with plenty of laughs and sexual tension to go around. Until some being from on high decides the precinct isn’t ready for a same sex couple, and I rekindle my relationship with my previously unmentioned ex-wife. But we, and some unknown watchers of our adventures, will always know we were meant to be together, weirdly large age gap be damned!

[alloverthegaf]

Yeah, and while Eric was off playing cops and robbers with you, I grew up without a dad! Do you know how many times I stared at my baseball glove, wishing he was there to throw it to me? You may have lost Eric, but I never even got to have him!

But you’re right. This case will definitely take at least a full year, especially with the fact that we will be constantly interrupted with other, smaller cases, one of which will be halloween themed. We’re working together for the forseeable future, and my playful countenance and morbid wit will very quickly mesh with your hardened attitude and tendency to keep secrets.

And while you go back to your unhappy, stiff relationship with your ex wife, I will be shown having constant meaningless sex with a multitude of beautiful women so that the writers can really get across how Not Gay I am.

It’s gonna be a wild ride, Jones. And there had better be stakeouts.

[brain3at3r]

executive producer dick wolf

[exigencelost]

This is the best demonstration of the principle of “yes, and” that I have ever seen. They should put this in textbooks.

[bob-belcher]

[endmyreign]

[sapphleaf]

[zdf-deactivated20251121]

[wgtow]

🤔

[taramaclaywasaterf]

Also:

*make literal websites that are nothing but a page with numbers counting down the years, months, weeks, days, hours, seconds, until an actress/model/singer turns 18…*

*…then instantly start making vile, graphic comments detailing all the sexual things they want to do to her, as if they weren’t saying those things already*

*vehemently defend men like Drake for grooming and preying on underage girls*

*treat dating older women as a fetish/weird kink/taboo, but find it completely normal when grown ass men date girls over ten years younger than them*

*call underage girls “jailbait” to deflect all blame off men onto the girls*

*desperately defend themselves by insisting men have evolved to be biologically attracted to young, hairless women because youth=fertility, despite the fact that only prepubescent girls are hairless, meaning hairless=not yet capable of becoming pregnant. Not to mention the fact that one of the leading causes of death (maybe THE leading cause of death, though I can’t remember the specifics) of girls age 15-19 is childbirth, meaning young girls are clearly NOT meant to have children*

*refuse to tell their friends that they’re being predatory to underage girls yet scream at any woman who’ll listen that “nOt AlL mEn ArE lIkE tHaT!!!¡!¡¡!!¡!”*

[oleathe]

The Olympic level mental gymnastics they do for it to be okay to sexualize children in anime

[koroleva-dvastolba]

Literally no one:

Not a single soul:

Male authors:

[youthbookreview]

[Image text from a novel:

"I like your mother. You have your mother's breasts."

"Her breasts."

"Great stand-up tits," he said.]

[jelloapocalypse]

sorry I think we’re sleeping on

This author is either writing a parody or they’re an alien