*catboy-ifies your president* nya~

john kerry's #1 fan || lex || iei (ni-fe) || 25 || american || queer || sideblogs: [SotP: chuiko] [DC: lexluthot] [Les Mis: vouseteslibre] [Great Comet: andrew-bolkonsky]

[winterbirb]

babygirl I'm parasocialing politicians you've never even heard of

[prunsel]

if you've ever pet more than a few dogs you'd Know what dog residue is

[computationalcalculator]

[gobloggirl]

[toomuchtimelost]

Projection glitch on Notre-Dame, 2021

[songthursh]

@stupidlynx and i had this comic in pocket for way too long. The time hath come.

[woodwool]

severely deficient in whatever vitamin makes u a person

[moghedien]

I feel like I need to share this because idk if Europeans are familiar with the presence of Aldi in the US, but at least especially in my area they’ve been growing a lot recently. Like Aldi bought out some local failing grocery chains where I live (Louisiana) and have opened Aldis in all these somewhat rural communities and small towns, which for the record I’m fine with

But as a result of this they are advertising a lot more in my area and also in many cases, the people in these areas have never been confronted with Aldi or any European grocery store. So the ads that Aldi is pushing out to its new US customer base feature a cowboy shopping at Aldi who is explaining to new Aldi customers how Aldi works. Like this cowboy is explaining you gotta put a quarter in the shopping cart and why there are very little name brands. A cowboy is how they want to reach their American customer base. They gave us a cowboy

[moghedien]

Here he is, the Aldi Cowboy

[winterbirb]

You can be having your most stressful day of 2026 and that duolingo bitch will still pop up like "da-ding!"

[agnesmontague]

ive invented (note: dubious claim) something i call the bear diet which is mostly fruits and vegetables with fish as the main protein source and something like once a month you eat a few hyperprocessed foods of your liking because that is when you, the bear, raid a dumpster in the suburbs

[stellarskyes]

after the hyperprocessed foods, do you take tranquilizers to simulate getting captured by animal control and returned to the wild?

[agnesmontague]

i would settle for melatonin gummies but well. knock yourself out

[wizardarchetypes]

No more sleeping with my phone within reach because I was having an extremely vivid dream that I was the victim of some sort of mass-poisoning. the notorious poisoner? "The Centipede Cult." They used a specific type of poison, referred to only by its chemical nomenclature, which I somehow remembered perfectly upon waking. It went: □□ Na({}^{2})

Because that makes sense. Anyway, this poison would submit me to its well-known and much-feared symptom: "17 Day Paralysis" in which you're paralyzed for exactly 17 days and you only chance of survival is to be on full machine support for 17 days.

Just before the medical team intubated me I remembered I have a Zoom meeting with my academic advisor today (I actually do in real life) and I needed to email him to let him know I was the victim of a mass-poisoning and would need to reschedule.

I kept trying to type the "□" symbol in my dream but could not figure out how and gave up.

I woke up in real life to find I'd begun drafting an email in my sleep to my professor in the Gmail app. I was apparently using talk-to-text (I often do because of my hand neuropathy) but speaking in Irish, which talk-to-text never understands, so other than the words in English "poison" and "centipede" the entire email was complete nonsense.

[wizardarchetypes]

I told my advisor about this and he said, "well, if you had been poisoned, I would have provided you whatever academic supports available to us."

[wizardarchetypes]

Bc so many people have asked, the □ in the dream was in fact just a wingdings square symbol. Your phone/browser isn't blocking an emoji. You're seeing it right.

[lakevida]

i think its charming when peoples personal lives improve and they get drastically worse at posting

[dilfdyke]

love love love when a particularly manipulative character is lying off their ass about something and then throws in one hauntingly genuine line

[markv5]

Фотография via https://t.me/russian_cat_meme

[grimoiremanifest]

2026 was 8 years ago. christ

[grimoiremanifest]

Wait. Fuck. Wrong year. Don't

[ghsot]

everyones got that fic they chip away at like michaelangelo sculpting david. and brother? its penis month

[ghsot]

asked my friends if they knew what i was referencing and they said no. we all know that post where someone divided how long it took michelangelo to sculpt david by it's size and went "yuuuuup. whole month spent on penis" right. sure, my search history is full variations upon "michelangelo penis month tumblr" to no avail, but we all know it. right.

[itriedonce]

Hi, that was a MBMBAM bit. But i see you and i hear you and i dont know if someone already said something

[ghsot]

oh my god youre right.

[nondelphic]

you’re not “behind” on your story. you’re building something. and sometimes building requires standing in the ruins for a bit.

[whumpty-dumpty-doo]

If I just think about it reeeeeaaaaaaalllllllllllly hard, do you think my stories will write themselves?