Citrine Mystic

30-something, she/her, animist polythesitic christian witch, lover of shiny things, oracle deck addict, always learning, making it all up as I go. Ask box is always open!

[64mpg]

either it will be okay or you will die 👌 which is fine

[prokopetz]

Remember: toe beans are the sign of a killer.

[prokopetz]

Funnily enough, I’m not 100% joking. While many animals have paw pads, the particular kind of soft, squishy beans found on housecats are an adaptation for stealth. Squishy beans mean you’re looking at an ambush predator.

[slippyflippers]

These are the beans of a killer, Bella.

[armadillorollup]

wild horses could probably drag me away pretty easily in fact

[cipheramnesia]

Realistically, I'm pretty sure domesticated horses could also.

[elodieunderglass]

I’ll be honest, most horses would have a pretty good shot at moving me a moderate distance

[cipheramnesia]

One calm donkey would handle the job for most of us, I think.

[elodieunderglass]

Single calm donkey please come take me away 🙏

[soup-shoes]

"Ask not for whom the Single Calm Donkey brays, it brays for thee."

[leonkennedysprostate]

"don't assign human morality to non human things" is so true except when it comes to printers. they know what they are, they understand dilemmas and ethics and morality. they choose to be how they are, they choose to be evil, at their very core they are rotten

[pangur-and-grim]

cats will just treat you as terrain

[victusinveritas]

[rostekhorn]

It's even better than that.

At least according to the old continuity, the Wookiees were skilled explorers, and their Clatuuvac Guild had the secrets to a number of hyperspace routes, especially through the Core (it's why the Separatists were so keen to take the planet in Revenge of the Sith)... And Chewbacca was one of the people who knew these hyperspace routes.

So the Millennium Falcon being the fastest smuggler ship in the galaxy? About half of that is down to Han's modifications, the fact that he drives like crazy, and the fact that he's almost as good as he thinks he is. The other half? Is just Chewie knowing a bunch of shortcuts, which he got from all the classified information he knew when he was a commander.

[comicgeekscomicgeek]

Look, if the respected commander wants to bring his rescue human along, so be it. Even if said rescue is poorly socialized.

[perdvivly]

This email could’ve been nothing, I simply did not need to receive this information

[ddeserteagle]

I'm tempted to set it as the auto-reply to my work emails.

[broomsick]

The sea is a temple. The woods are a temple. Your own bedroom is a temple. The world is imbued with the spiritual. Worship is an act, not a place, and it can happen spontaneously, in reaction to the beauty of a moment.

[slipping-into-madness]

[posttexasstressdisorder]

[heated-blanket]

I think what’s wrong with a lot of people is they’re not eating breakfast. They’re starting the day with at most 16 ounces of milk with espresso and riding on that until lunch time. What they don’t understand is eating breakfast helps absorb all the excess yellow bile that builds up overnight when they sleep and makes them angry. It’s basic humor balancing

[nyatzsche]

some of you need to put down chat gpt and pick the magic 8ball back up

[avagarde]

It’s so unfair i don’t get to see where evolution will go in 50 million years

[geekysteven]

crab

[existennialmemes]

Crustaceans: Crab

Mammals: Weasel

Plants: Tree

Amphibians & Reptiles: Unchanged because they are perfect

Birds: 360° around back to dinosaurs

Fungi: I shan't speculate on the affairs of gods

[polybius-on-gameboy-deactivated]

“I think America should be taken by Canada instead” No, I think America should be returned to its Indigenous tribes, while Canada should return to the First Nations, the Inuit and the Métis.

“I think America should be taken by Denmark instead” No, I think America should be returned to its Indigenous tribes while Denmark returns Greenland to the Kalaallit, the Tunumiit and the Inughuit.

“I think Texas should be taken by Mexico” No, I think Texas should be returned to the Apache.

“I think Florida should be taken by Cuba” No, I think Florida should be returned to the Seminole.

“I think the Blue states should form their own country” No, I think the Blue states should return to the Chinook, the Yakama, the Nimíipuu, the Pomo, the Chumash, the Diné, the Wôbanaki, the Massachuset, the Haudenosaunee, the Pequot, the Lenape tribes, and the Inuit, the Unangax̂ and the Tlingit tribes of Alaska.

Stop roleplaying colonialism with a leftist coat of paint and give land back to its fucking Natives.

[youremysunshine8]

4am perfec t size for put decisions in to make! 4am very Clear thinking and Comfort no need sleep soundly make decisions at 4am. Put Decision In 4am. no problems ever at 4 am because good Shape and Support for tired brain weak of struggle make sad. Afouram awake yes a place for a thought put action in 4am can trust middle of night for giveing good love to brain. friend 4am

[citrinemystic]

Unhinged Digital Divination

Step one: go to https://tinyfingers.net/

Step two: type your question or a phrase (or whatever, you do you)

Step three: press the space bar a set number (what number? idk, whatever number the circumstance calls for) of times to collect the reading.

Pressing the space bar should cause emoji images to appear; the divination is in interpreting what images appear.

[qsycomplainsalot]

[oviids]

i’m screaming Xena caused the Ides of March

[caparrucia]

God FORBID women do anything!