I Like Plants

I like plants, the Civil War, Billy Joel, and Winston Churchill. What follows is a collection of everything I find funny, interesting, or important.

[greenwithenby-deactivated201609]

People who prefer hot weather: Snow and ice are a pain, and the cold is just kind of uncomfortable even when you wrap up, you know?

People who prefer cold weather: MY SKIN LITERALLY MELTS OFF EVERY SUMMER I AM A FUCKING HUMAN SOUP AS WE SPEAK

[greenwithenby-deactivated201609]

you wouldn’t believe how many people reblogged this to whine about hot weather in the tags.

[nucleic-friend-deactivated20171]

too cold? put on another layer!

too hot? change into thinner clothes!

still too cold? put on another layer!

still too hot? uh, get naked I guess?

still too cold? put on another layer!

still too hot? Ţ̡̜̮̗̟̯͘ͅA̛͈͎̤͙̳̦̱̜̺̪K̢̻̥̥̥̪̙̜̩̗̼̤̻̻͖͍̜͈͉͠ͅE̟͕̩͔̪͓͔̥̦͇̣͇̳͕͉͜ͅ ̠̝̥̖̭̦̼́͝O̩̦͓̠͉̲̲̱̪̹̻̼̭̯͎͈̕͢F̷̸̢̛̙͇͔̜̙̮̗̲̤͇̯͡F̧̨̱̤̲̫͕͔̼̭͙̠̙͙̹̻ͅ ҉̫̠͓̙̠͔̕͜͠Y͡҉̴̘̭̬̳́O̶̶̧͚̞̣̯̩̫̜̩͉̤͎͖̖͟ͅU̶̵̺̠̪̘̱̮̮̙̻͈̣̦̭͠͝͞R̨҉̦̺͓̩̺͖̘̪̥̺͚̱͚͔̪͓̖̰ ̷̸̺͇̳͇̖̥̻̳͚̗̥͙̪̣́S̡̞̳͖̭̯͉̻̠͔̥̹̫̣̼̹͇͜K͏̧͍̪̗̖̜̫̙̱̫͈̟̝̮͈̻̺̯̟̠̀Į̧̙͙͔̠͖̟̕͝Ǹ͖͎̳͍̪̱̞͇̺̘̩͘͜͠

[the-mighty-birdy-deactivated202]

The cold is easily shut out, the heat is inescapable hell

[fuckyeahhistorycrushes]

YOUNG CHURCHILL.

[historical-nonfiction]

The first mental asylum in what would become the United States opened in 1773 in Williamsburg, Virginia. It was a short-term hospital, where the mentally ill could stay until “cured.” Treatments included dunking in cold water, hot glasses applied to their skin, and bloodletting.

[toomanyfandomstolove]

I am so glad we have come farther than this!

[did-you-know]

During the making of The Blues Brothers, there was a special budget just for cocaine. Source

[naadaa11]

[ancientproverb]

beauty comes in all shapes and sizes

[oceanicsteam]

I’m pretty sure this is like the 5th time I’ve reblogged this because omg

[theflyestbooty-blog]

Sex

[gif-tv]

[newcrunchyp0rnflakes]

Well… the rains gotta stop somewhere

[mxmoony]

Oh my god, someone has footage of it! I remember one time my dad, lil brother, and I were leaving a Ryan’s. We were waiting for a chance to hop onto the road and in the distance we just saw everything turn grey. We saw it come closer and closer and come to find out it was rain! It was just a wall of rain - the end of the rain, really. I’ve never seen it again, but it’s so cool to see footage of the edge of rain!

[peashooter85]

Limited Edition Royal Doulton Field Marshal Montgomery mug, produced in 1992.

[theinturnetexplorer]

well that neighbor feud took an amusing turn.

[lilguy5-20-blog]

Did Disney live next to the Warner brothers??

[did-you-know]

There used to be a paint made of ground- up Egyptian mummies. ‘Mummy Brown’ was a favorite color of many 19th-century European painters, but some people were so upset by its ingredients, they buried tubes of it in the ground out of respect for the dead. It was still being made up until 1964, when the manufacturer’s ancient mummy supply finally ran out. Source Source 2 Source 3

For example, a lot of this painting is made with ancient dead people.

By Martin Drolling - Web Gallery of Art: Public Domain

[weeping-wandrian]

why the fuck does english have a word for

but not for “the day after tomorrow”

???

[zeplerfer]

Because you’re not looking hard enough! ;)

Overmorrow = the day after tomorrow

Ereyesterday = the day before yesterday

Example: I defenestrated my brother ereyesterday. I shall defenestrate my sister overmorrow! Because I hate my family and also windows.

[wantcookie]

english has some of the best examples of stupidly specific words, tbh

Rhotacism (n): excessive use of the letter “R”

Lingible (adj): meant to be licked

Whipjack (n): a beggar, specifically one who is pretending to have been shipwrecked

Yerd (v): to beat with an object with a stick

Roddikin (n): the fourth stomach of a cow or a deer

Balbriggan (n): a type of fine cotton, most often used in underwear

and my personal favorite

Cornobble (v): to slap or beat another person with a fish

[somewhatgreatexpectations]

This makes the English nerd in me extremely happy.

[trisabelle]

Who even made these words I’m going to cornobble them

[adamatronic-deactivated20170419]

My dick is lingible

[solnishka1927-deactivated202504]

there is a dictionary that has all of these stupidly specific and obscure words and a whole lot more. It’s absolutely beautiful.

[satanicblowjobs]

Proving a point to my boyfriend.

PLEASE REBLOG if you (male or female) believe it is perfectly okay and natural for a guy of any age to cry

[alpha-blu]

I’ve never hit reblog faster or harder.

[bolovespuppers-deactivated20230]

crying is a brave thing to do

expressing your feelings like that is good and healthy and JUST CRY WHEN YA NEED TO

[did-you-know]

After the Battle of Shiloh in 1862, many Civil War soldiers’ lives were saved by a phenomenon called ‘Angel’s Glow.’ The soldiers, who lay in the mud for two rainy days, had wounds that began to glow in the dark and heal unusually fast. In 2001, 2 teens won an international science fair by discovering the soldiers had been so cold that their bodies created the perfect conditions for growing a bioluminescent bacteria, which ultimately destroyed the bad bacteria that could’ve killed them. Source Source 2 Source 3

[mooserattler]

Reblog this picture of me holding a Family Size box of Honey Nut Cheerios? I’d really appreciate it.

[moonblossom]

How can I say no to such a great photo and such a polite request?

[allthelittlebeagles]

i will always support this post

[freshrosemary-deactivated202303]

@mooserattler back on my dash!

[jjflow]

Why isn’t this at a million notes, yet, Dante???

[mooserattler]

I’m not sure. Hey lovely people who have taken me over half way to a cool million! If you’d like to reblog again, I’d love that, if not, I still love you, and hope you’re having a great day. I’m gonna go do some stand up tonight.

[bidoof]

god come on we’re so close. this is like the only meaningful thing that this website could ever achieve

[housecatincarnate]

[musicalmelody22]

Fun Story: My director kept telling me and my tenor sax buddy to play softer. No matter what we did, it wasn’t soft enough for him. So getting frustrated, I told my buddy “Dont play this time. Just fake it” 

Our Band Director then informed us we sounded perfect. 

[fororchestra]

To my readers: “p” means quiet, “pp” means really quiet. I’ve never seen “pppp” before haha.

On the contrast, “f” means loud, and “ffff” probably means so loud you go unconscious.

[corruptbucky]

I had ffff in a piece once and my conductor told me to play as loudly as physically possible without falling off my chair…

[justtkeepcalmm-deactivated20250]

Me and my trombone buddies had “ffff” and he sat next to me and played so hard that he fell out of his chair.

The lengths we go for music.

[lady-gorthaur]

Okay yeah so I play the bass clarinet and the amount of air you have to move and the stiffness of the reed means it only has two settings and that is loud and louder, with an optional LOUDEST that includes a 50% probability of HORRIBLE CROAKING NOISE which is the bass equivalent of the ubiquitous clarinet shriek.

[elsajeni]

One day, when I was in concert band in high school, we got a new piece handed out for the first time, and there was a strange little commotion back in the tuba section — whispering, and pointing at something in the music, and swatting at each other’s hands all shhh don’t call attention to it. And although they did attract the attention of basically everyone else in the band, they managed to avoid being noticed by the band director, who gave us a few minutes to look over our parts and then said, “All right, let’s run through it up to section A.”

And here we are, cheerfully playing along, sounding reasonably competent — but everyone, when they have the attention to spare, is keeping an eye on the tuba players. They don’t come in for the first eight measures or so, and then when they do come in, what we see is:

[stifled giggling]

[reeeeeeally deep breath]

[COLOSSAL FOGHORN NOISE]

The entire band stops dead, in the cacophonous kind of way that a band stops when it hasn’t actually been cued to stop. The band director doesn’t even say anything, just looks straight back at the tubas and makes a helpless sort of why gesture.

In unison, the tuba players defend themselves: “THERE WERE FOUR F’S.”

FFFF is not really a rational dynamic marking for any instrument, but for the love of all that is holy why would you put it in a tuba part.

[minguskingus]

This is the best band post 

Everyone else go home

[oxboold-deactivated20180729]

Oh man, so I play trombone, and we got this piece called Florentiner Marsch by Julius Fucik, and we saw this

which is 8 fortes. We were shocked until,

that is 24 fortes who the fuck does that

[prokopetz]

Who does that?

This guy. Take a good look - that is the moustache of a man with nothing to lose.

[vivelafat]

Julius IdontgivaFucik

[septemberbells]

More like Julius Fuckit

[zohbugg]

this post just kept getting better and better

[tastefullyoffensive]

Adventures of God by It’s the Tie

[sandandglass]

[wildlifewednesdays]

[schweinsteigur-deactivated20151]

THEY LITERALLY HANG THEM UP TO DRY IN CRYING OH MY GOD

[quicksilverwracked]

WHY IS THIS NOT MY JOB?!?!

[kidchi]

THE NOISE

[panderton]

oh my heart