A few of my favourite things @classyclassic - Tumblr Blog

JK Rowling: *Kills Fred*

JK Rowling: Hmmm. It's not enough. How can I cause even more emotional destruction?

Satan: Why don't you have his newly reconciled brother throw himself over Fred's lifeless body in grief and refuse to get up?

JK Rowling: Perfect! That oughta destroy some childhoods!

weirdbooksifind

corpsecaddy

So I found this harlequin romance paperback today, and normally I just toss those right over without paying them much mind, but the cover of this one made me pause. Sure that the artist was just taking liberties, I checked out the back.

I’m dubious. I should read a passage:

It is a literal bear.

Okay yeah I’ll admit it I’m going to read this but only because it sounds like the most fucked up romance novel in existence.

But wait….

You have some explaining to do, Canada.

wordsofdiana

You guys don’t understand. Screw it being a bestseller, 50 Shades of Gray is a bestseller, this book won the Governor General’s Award. That’s the highest literary award in Canada. That’s the pulitzer prize of Canadian literature. Bear is a part of Canadian literary history.

morebadbookcovers

HOLY MOLY.

notpulpcovers

Canada, eh?

teddybluesclues

i had to read this book in uni for my first year Canadian literature class. When we first heard of it we were like, “Oh the Bear’s a metaphor or some shit.” but then one kid read ahead, and was like, “Guys, no, she literally fucks the bear. She fucked a bear.”

classyclassic

This is truly horrifying...

The Birth of Every Tim Burton Film Ever

Assistant: Mr. Burton, it's time for you to make another film.

Tim: Fine. Spin the Wheel of Quirky and Absurd Screenplays!

Assistant: *Spins*

Assistant: Here's one about a zombie who likes pie a lot, so he opens up a bakery and falls in love with the mayor's wife and people reject him because he's a zombie but the mayor's wife doesn't and they kill everyone in the town after ordering a pizza from an alien.

Tim: Sounds good. Call Johnny and tell him we're back in business. Also, page my wife and tell her to get her eye makeup ready.

Assistant: Shall I contact Danny Elfman and tell him write the score?

Tim: No need, he's already sent me mix-tape of his compositions to use in all my movies, we'll just throw a few tracks in here and there in random places.

Assistant: You're a brilliant director sir!

Tim: All in a day's work.

ruinedchildhood

cumomelet-deactivated20141103

almost one million people liked this post

aurevoir-mes-amis-deactivated20

classyclassic

What the junk did I just read?

verylittlebird

kids today google, not giggle. they play angry birds instead of getting angry AT birds. they all have an ipad but no iq. not even one. they playstation but they never play station. i.e. one pretending to be a train and the others pretending to be different trains or low paid maintenance workers. they’re obsessed with one direction, rather than enjoying all eight directions equally. facebook… but unable to face… a book. or a hoop with a stick. a lost generation. the tv show.

that’s okay we don’t need bisexual awareness anyway

People are so cute when they say things I never said.

Good for you standing up to those idiotic members of the Sherlock fandom. They don't care about the show at all, just their perverse sexuality and moronic SJW philosophy.

Gracias :)

Why are you so against the idea of John being bisexual? Is there something wrong with bisexuals?

Did I say that? Or did I say that people should stop trying to force John to be one? Think on that.

Oh no!!!!! God forbid someone want bisexual representation on a tv show!!!!!!! They must be dumb idiots who don't know that platonic friendship exists!!!!!!!! Shut up ur homophobic ass

You're a special kind of stupid.

bidisasterhawkeye

In reading this excellent theory about Mary being Moran, some thoughts occurred.

I do find it suspicious that we never see Mycroft and Mary interact, even though they’re at one point in the same house. I did wonder, too, if in The Sign of Three Mycroft refused to attend the wedding because...

delinquentbookworm

CAN SOMEBODY PLEASE TELL JOHN WATSON THAT BISEXUALS EXIST AND THAT HE MIGHT WELL BE ONE

classyclassic

CAN SOMEBODY PLEASE TELL THE FANDOM THAT HETEROSEXUAL PEOPLE WHO LOVE AND CARE FOR SOMEONE OF THE SAME SEX WITHOUT WANTING TO BANG THEM EXIST AND THAT IT'S A THING?