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24, unilateral clp a safe space for sharing experiences, asking questions and meeting people. I'd love to publish stories and tips!

[cleftcommunity]

After a long time, I turn to the community again. I have been struggling with a variety of symptoms affecting my relationship with others and my academic/work life, namely paranoid fears that people are out to get me, low self esteem and anxiety.

I was wondering if others with CLP have experienced this and how you cope with it? I am pretty sure it has something to do with me being born with CLP, as these feelings have manifested from very young, and I have always felt that something was deeply wrong with me.

I'm glad for anyone willing to talk to me about these feelings!

[deletedeletedeletedele-deactiva]

I can't really diagnose it as anxiety, but i have definetly experienced paranoia when meeting new people or when someone just stares at me too long, because my first thought is: they're gonna mock me!

Idk, even tho i've been raised in a good enviroment and have some normal self-esteem, i do find myself a bit paranoid that if i argue with people, they're going to bring up my clp to insult me.

And that's without counting the nervousness of talking to new people, if they're just gonna laugh and imitate my speech so like- what??? It's so confusing.

Also the fear of just being straight up hit or abused because of it- people are killing others for just being another gender, so i can't help but feel there's some weirdo listening to me talking and planning to hit me because i'm "annoying"

I would like to hear ur thoughts on this!!!

[cleftcommunity]

Thank you so much for your reply! It's kind of comforting to know I'm not alone although I don't wish this on anyone. I really recognize myself in the fear of being mocked and rejected, and it makes sense to me that clp would have that effect...

I have not specifically been worried about being attacked, but I definitely think it makes sense with the discriminatory attacks you mentioned. On the other hand I am very scared of being targeted on other levels for being regarded as "inferior". Unfortunately I had some experiences that made me feel that way throughout my teenage years, bullied for years for my looks by people who did not know me at all (and also some who did🙃)

Do you ever talk about the experiences you have now or the treatments you had to undergo to people? I almost never do, althought I have made more peace with it I still don't know how to refer to my clp when talking to others, and I always feel like I bore them or make them uncomfortable.

Looking forward to hearing more and feel free to chat with me in private too!

[cleftcommunity]

After a long time, I turn to the community again. I have been struggling with a variety of symptoms affecting my relationship with others and my academic/work life, namely paranoid fears that people are out to get me, low self esteem and anxiety.

I was wondering if others with CLP have experienced this and how you cope with it? I am pretty sure it has something to do with me being born with CLP, as these feelings have manifested from very young, and I have always felt that something was deeply wrong with me.

I'm glad for anyone willing to talk to me about these feelings!

[the-goddamn-plant-monster]

current/ former cleft babies on here, talk to me. I wanna see how many of us there are and maybe share experiences and stories

[cleftcommunity]

HELLO YES WE ARE HERE

[cleftcommunity]

I doubt anything will break! It might be that your nose is naturally pushing the thread out/ the thread has shifted a bit. I would let the surgeon know just for peace of mind :) They would maybe even pull it out or trim it for you?

thanks so much, yeah it probably won't break, i hope

but something's kinda shifting.. the thread came from nowhere so it might be changing even more? i guess i just have to wait and see😅

[cleftcommunity]

Hi guys, I'm once again anxious about something i found in my face, or more precisely, in my nose. There is a short (i guess?) blue kinda string in one of my nostrils, I can grab it with a pinzette but i'm really scared to tear on it. It looks like one used in surgeries but kinda thicker.. however, It's been at least 2 years since my last rhinoplasty and it was always checked etc... it's probably all fine but i'm scared everyday that maybe at some poing something will break etc.. can anyone calm me down?

[cleftcommunity]

sooooo...this Swiss 'newspaper' just published this story about a lovely mother who created dolls for children with bodily differences – which I find pretty cool. What bothers me though: the text on top says 'Doll line created for children with disabilities'

who decided clp was a disability??? seems uncalled for. anyway, it's important to speak up and let them know about their mistake. what do you think??

[cleftcommunity]

2015 // 2019

no one but me will ever really know the amount of pain i had to go through to look the way i look today. ‚fixed‘.

I‘m sharing this cause I don‘t think I have-haven‘t even considered it. This pre-surgery me is still me, was me for the longest part of my life so far. sometimes I forget that ‚me’ existed cause i basically avoid the pictures and most of the people I deal with on a daily basis didn’t know me back then

anyway just leaving this here.

[cleftcommunity]

so apparently it‘s normal that i have a big gaping hole in my palate now. I freaked out this morning, called my surgeon and he was just like ‚oh yeah i had to take some gum from there‘

kayyy then

[cleftcommunity]

right now in like the worst phase of recovery - kinda hurting, scared to destroy the stitches, bored to death, feeling nauseous, can‘t do anything to make it better just wait and hope i can sleep 48 hours at once

anyway it‘ll only get better and that‘s my hope

[cleftcommunity]

yay next surgery will be on nov 11 so i‘ll be gone from the world for 1 week again then slowly work my way back and i cant explain how much i look forward to getting all this pity for 3 days and then having to act like i‘m super happy and all recovered again even though i‘ve been sick and tired of this shit since 6th grade

[cleftcommunity]

No I Dont Want To Tell You How I Feel About My Next Surgery I Dont Owe You An Explanation Just Mind Your Own Business Thank You

@ ppl with symmtrical faces

[cleftcommunity]

hi lovelies!! this is the first time in a long time (or ever??) that I post a frontal face pic. i don‘t really like to show the cleft-side so i automatically always turn my face to the side. anyway it‘s time to make peace with myself!! I hope all of you are doing good, please leave a comment what‘s going on in your lives! xxx

[cleftcommunity]

Hey! I'm a 14 year old girl with a unilateral clp! Do you have any advice on surviving high school? I've been feeling pretty stuck in the way I look, and I'd like to hear from someone older and wiser. Thanks!

Hey love!! I‘m so happy you turned to this page. I thought of some things that I realized in the past years and wish someone had told me when I was about your age. (my answer got longer than I planned) I hope you‘ll find it helpful and maybe other people can add their own advice!!

I‘d say the most important advice I can give you is to remember and tell yourself that you‘re okay exactly the way you are. I wasted a lot of time trying to ‚fit in‘ and compared myself to others. do your thing!! have your own favorites, don‘t force yourself to like or do stuff you don‘t enjoy and don‘t let anyone tell you otherwise. and certainly don‘t let your cleft ever stop you from going places or using products such as lipstick. We Look Fabulous! beauty standards are rubbish.

also, in general try not to take yourself too seriously. so what if one day your clothes are mismatched, or if anything at all ‚embarrassing‘ happens to you. we tend to overestimate the amount of time other people actually think about us. no one has actually got the time to judge us the way we imagine they do. sometimes when I’m unsure about myself I think: what if someone else did that? would I judge them? and mostly the answer is no. what I‘d say regarding the cleft is just: embrace your clp, but don‘t give it too much importance. it‘s a part of you but not all of you.

and lastly, enjoy being able to spend so much time surrounded by your friends. high school can be tough but it‘s also an opportunity to build a lot of friendships and explore your personality. and don‘t pressure yourself! I wish I had relaxed more, been more proud of myself and done more outside of school. you‘re so young, enjoy enjoy enjoy!!!

—I hope this helps, and if you ever feel like talking about any clp experiences or just in general or have a question, I‘ll be there!

[cleftcommunity]

I’ve never seen an ad for smiletrain before, got me excited when I saw it in the TIME magazine today!

[cleftcommunity]

cleftie question!!

@girls-pizza-netflix: I was wondering if anyone in the community with a cleft lip has had surgeries to lessen the scars on the lip and/or change the shape of their lips? I really want to do this at some point! I want them to be able to make my lips shaped normal so I have a Cupid’s bow and not whatever is on my face now. Anyone have any experience??

please text her if you have any experience!

[cleftcommunity]

promise to myself: I will never EVER again get something done on my face or body hoping that it will make people (including myself) like me better

I realized that I like my natural self so much more than any plastic version of myself, it’s so much harder to like myself if I look into the mirror and I don’t see myself but instead something my surgeon created

[cleftcommunity]

i'd like to add: of course this doesnt count for all surgeries, i'm really glad i had most of them, i just feel like now is the moment to stop because anything I do now is purely cosmetic and i realized that those surgeries won't help me personally become more confident and satisfied with my face. My next mission is to be at peace with myself and change my thought patterns

[cleftcommunity]

take a moment and look back on all the struggles you overcame. think about the countless surgeries, the nights in the hospital, walking around with a cast on your nose, trying not to care what other people think, liquid diets, the many hours spent at the dentist, braces, implants, ear tubs, speech therapy, trying to become more confident, finding new friends, presentations in class, having people stare at you, hours in front of the mirror, bullying, trying to fit in, treating your scars, ear infections… the list goes on. you got through so much and you're probably not even aware of how strong you are. don't ever doubt yourself, you can do anything!