Nipslip The Dolphin

22. Bisexual. I'm not sure what I'm doing with my life just yet, so I'm going to get paid to play with dogs and figure it out later

[twerker]

2013 is the first year since 1987 to have different numbers

[damianmcgintleman]

[officiallightningmcqueen]

what about 1982 1983 1984 1985 & 1986 Hmmm

[lesmiserablephantom]

since 1987. 

[imdoingstuffandthingslori]

[ghostsfacer]

what if people got a new name every birthday

what if the name represented how old you were, like every 11 year old was named Josh

“I had my first kiss when I was Greg”

[ghostsfacer]

this wasn’t supposed to get notes

[officialunitedstates]

FACT OF THE DAY:  zebras’ stripes are not always black and white.  sometimes they are black and orange

[throwing-lego]

this is a giraffe

[dramatichoe]

[nonamenonewhatsoever]

[tastefullyoffensive]

[1010ll]

[darkcomedies-deactivated2022042]

recontextualizing fry and leela as an annoying but earnest twitch streamer and his inexplicably hot and intimidating girlfriend

[darkcomedies-deactivated2022042]

no actually. recontextualizing fry and leela as an esports champion turned twitched streamer and her boyfriend who is just kind of there on stream sometimes and has his own emote

[darkcomedies-deactivated2022042]

fry: [gets home from work and accidentally wanders into frame]

the chat: FRY 🍟🍟🍟🍟 [pog] 🍟🍟🍟 he’s back 🍟[pog]🍟[pog]🍟 WHAT IS THAAAAAAAT 🍟🍟🍟🍟🍟🍟🍟🍟 mad lad 🍟 how was ur day fry 🍟🍟 FRY b3nd3r(mod): LEELA PUT A LOCK ON YOUR FUCKING DOOR 🍟🍟🍟 am i supposed to know who that is or [pog] [pog] 🍟 OH NO HE’S UGLY 🍟🍟🍟🍟 [b3nd3r has set the chat to subscribers-only]

[artofcereal]

op im deeply sorry but this post has been haunting me for weeks

[crrocs]

people who complain about “getting too many asks”

[yaboidom]

people who get straight A’s and every test they say “im so gonna fail”

[skr0ala]

People who say their art sucks when its clearly amazing

[milkbread]

Having a student who just can’t pass his fucking driver’s test

[lagonegirl]

[harryedward]

This is a weed smokers lungs after he died from marijuana. Don’t smoke weed please reblog to save a life

[heburnedtmyshake]

That’s an orange

[harryedward]

Please dont be disrespectful thats a weed smoker’s lungs after he died from weed smoking  

[foodchewer]

[jyostar]

We’re going to knotts berry farm tomorrow im thinking about that shaq tweet

[bachi-special]

[gogogadget2lesbiansdoingit-deac]

[cumonthevoid]

im sorry rosie youve been a good friend

[block]

Who hurt you

My expectations

[twentyonegirls]

who are you fucking

im fucking tired bitch that’s who

[stimman3000]

we’re really at that point in the year where no one cares about anything huh

[krishnadewme]

[lionkins]

[wallpatterns-deactivated2019120]

My psych professor mentioned swaddling in lecture so I emailed him a picture of me being swaddled in my dorm room and asked if I could get extra credit because it was really hot in there and I got really sweaty and he was like “fabulous, sure”

[willisahappygrahamcracker]

[mountainashfae]

I’m going to miss the Honors Advisor from my university.

[wrathofthestag]