The Clownery Ranch

Professional-run clown rescue ranch | Advocate for ethical clown care | He/him

[clowneryranch]

Howdy there!

Welcome to the Clownery Ranch. We ETHICALLY breed, sell, adopt and raise clowns. Our ranch has hundreds of acres dedicated to the care of our various clowns and heavily advocate for the proper care and love that clowns deserve. We take in clowns that have been abandoned, are unable to be cared for, or from home that have abused them. We take in every clown we can and are a non-profit. Every single donation goes towards our care for the clowns; whether that be food, tents, toys, fencing, rail-road tracks, face paint, etc.. I am a professional, under no circumstance should an average person care for as many clowns as my volunteers and I do. If you'd like to volunteer at the ranch or donate to our cause, please do dm us!

[ink-pen-rat]

clown month day 20 - comet

[clowneryranch]

We apologize for the sudden hiatus we had taken. We were stretched thin over here at the ranch as we expanded the areas! It's been a tough journey but, here we are at last with acres of land dedicated to even more breeds of clown and we are now taking in chucklettes as we have finally set up nursery areas for chucklettes of all breeds to care for them. Remember! We are looking for volunteers! Send us a message if you wish to join the team!

[clowneryranch]

Reminder that feeding a mime anything other than fresh meat IS abuse. They are carnivores and require fresh meat and I'm sick and tired of seeing people try to feed their mimes fancy vegan stuff. They don't deserve that treatment and need to be fed properly. They have sharp teeth for a reason. Don't even get me started on the disgusting behavior of people feeding tragics pellets or dry foods marketed to them. So many people get the tragic dry food just because it's dyed black and claims to be healthy. It is not. It's full of corn and additives that are only fitting for railroad clown consumption. If they're fed dry food, they need iron and niacin supplements and their blood pressure will lower, not even mentioning the increased risk of blood clots and heart problems that has been scientifically proven to be linked to dry food marketed to tragic clowns.

[sparklestar-clown-sanctuary]

This is very true! We've had tragics show up at the sanctuary with signs of severe malnutrition and other health problems because they were only fed dry foods in their household. It's a sad thing to see.

[clowneryranch]

Yes... It's heartbreaking seeing a faded mime that can't even make an invisible cigarette! We get so many here at the ranch. Tragics especially. I even saw some dry food the other day that was meant to make tragic clowns smile.. The absolute idiocy of people. Tragics have flipped emotions. They're basically admitting to making tragic clowns depressed and malnourished.

[clowneryranch]

I am sick and tired of people walking around without their clowns on a leash. The amount of clowns that are hurt daily from other clowns attacking them or from wondering out into the street to show their owners a trick is ridiculous. I do not care how well-behaved your clown is or how friendly they are, it is no guarantee that another clown is as friendly as yours is and may attack your friend. You'll be able to pull your clown to safety faster if they're attached to a leash and this also prevents them from wondering off and getting hurt. Leashing isn't just for clowns who are not well trained or not well behaved. It's also for the safety of your own clown.

[izzydeadjet]

Man, this is ridiculous. Clowns have survived for thousands of years free roaming in the wild and people insist on keeping them in the house or leashing them. I personally let all of my clowns free roam outside and have never had any issues. They need the freedom and fresh air to stay fit and healthy otherwise they go crazy and start attacking children.

It's really cute when they bring me back gifts like a bouquet of flowers or a flock of doves.

[clowneryranch]

Believe it or not, I fully agree with this. House life is only really suitable for teacup clowns. Clowns deserve to free roam and it's important to have lots of land and space for them to run and be clowns. I meant leashing them if you have to go out into town or to a clown meet-up or to the vet. THAT is when you need to leash them. If you are in public, leash your clown. If you're at home, let them free roam.

[flyinghellfish]

[flyinghellfish]

Creating an account on tumblr.com

[clowneryranch]

Me starting a clown husbandry account on a whim after lurking the community for years.

[verdensromm3t]

ohh shit. dudes i literally have clowns. i am a clown husbandry guy i literally have 2 clown dolls

[verdensromm3t]

i found them

what do you guys think the breeds are

[clowneryranch]

Looks to me like you've got a tragic clown and a mime! They're a lovely breed! Both require meat (mimes more so than tragics as they are mostly carnivores) and tragics require various candies like black liquorice. Both are lovely and non-temperamental breeds and are known for getting along well. Keep in mind for tragic clowns, their emotions are flipped. If they look sad, staring out a window and sighing, they are incredibly happy. If they start crying, that is their way of laughing! And if they are smiling and skipping and looking as happy as a clam instead of moping around, they are extremely sad. My friend @honkie-daisy owns 2 tragics herself! DM her if you have any questions on care for tragic clowns, she specializes in them after all!

[honkhonk-clowns]

Because of the new @strange-aeons video, I've seen a lot of newbies to the clown husbandry scene, and while I'm personally thrilled about the light shed on our small but very important community, I've got a few important reminders to all interested/new clown keepers!

Clowns are living creatures!

To the seasoned keeper, this may seem an incredibly simple minded first point- but I've seen time and time again, a clown being adopted because they're cute, and promptly being abandoned due to the new keeper not having realized they were getting into.

Clowns are living, breathing creatures that can become trusted and wonderful companions- if you are capable of giving them the care that they require and frankly deserve. A mistreated clown will not take kindly to their handler. That being said..

Clown breeds require different care!!

From loud, fun loving entertainers like the party clown to the quiet, reserved hijinks of the mime, clown breeds vary as much as any other pet you may have had. Before adopting a clown, ensure that you have what you need to take care of them! This involves room for troupemates if they're a social species, animals for a rodeo clown, ect ect ect. This also involves appropriate habitation. Don't keep your jester in a haunted house!!

Chucklets are NOT for beginners!!

This is probably the MOST important point of this post- If you're a beginner clown owner, do NOT adopt a chucklet!! I know the appeal might be hard to resist, but chucklets are oftentimes naturally quite violent! I know a guy who lost a finger to a birthday cross chucklet, one of the most gentle breeds out there. Chucklets are volatile until their adult markings grow in, and remain volatile if not properly trained and cared for. Clowns will remember the faces of humans they don't like, even if they don't remember why they don't like that human. Remember, Clowns can be rather simple. You put yourself AND the chucklet in danger if you aren't properly equipped to care for them!

Thank you for reading! If there are any questions, my dms and asks are always open ☆♡

[aphaline]

hey guys I found these taxidermied clown heads at an estate sale. I bought them without knowing that they were real, and now I don’t know if I should keep them. Like is it ethically okay to keep them?

[bigheart-smallcar]

Well they're already dead, nothing to be done about that now. I have mixed feelings on clown taxidermy, but considering all you did was buy them from someone who's already dead and made the call to have the taxidermy made, you haven't done anything morally wrong. Unless clown taxidermy is illegal where you live - be sure to check that! Otherwise, I'd say keep them :) they're extremely well kept specimens, and if you don't feel grossed out or guilty by having em, you should be proud of em.

[clowneryranch]

Ive recently bought a scare clown from an adoption centre. Ive had two scare clowns before and neither of them acted like this one.

My first two did the usual hide around corners and jump out, move object to a different area and grab my hand when i reach for it. But this one is doesnt do any of that instead it just stares and looms behind me. It also doesnt do the 'gross wet' food noises but when i check its plate and water bowl theyre empty.

Ive asked around and people have said it might be mime cross, thoughts?

Ahhh! You definitely have a scare/mime cross! Especially with how quiet he seems like he might be. Scare clowns and mimes are very similar in color, appearance, and teeth so, you wouldn't be able to tell easily without paying attention to their behavior. We have a similar clown here in our care and he is a mime/scare mix and acts very similar to your own. He is trying to scare you in his own large, looming, silent way. They thrive off the anxiety they cause by standing at the end of a hallway or by looming behind you. Just be sure to check the food and water bowl often since they do eat quietly.

This is also great if you are looking for a scare clown without the notorious bad temperament. The mime genes tend to make their temper easier to handle. Good luck to you and your scary friends! -Clownery Ranch

[huntermanor]

I find it very hard to study in libraries because most of them don't provide a play pen for clowns!! Honk honk needs to be distracted while i work, and i can't leave him home alone because he fills my entire room with balloons when i'm gone and then runs around in his unicycle without anyone to look after him. I need more clown safe spaces!

[clowneryranch]

I agree. There are not nearly enough clown safe spaces. Even malls nowadays have started providing a clown play area. Other places need to have a space specifically for clowns such as libraries and shops and restaurants and such. Most clowns cannot be left alone due to the natural behavior of clowns.

[clowneryranch]

I am sick and tired of people walking around without their clowns on a leash. The amount of clowns that are hurt daily from other clowns attacking them or from wondering out into the street to show their owners a trick is ridiculous. I do not care how well-behaved your clown is or how friendly they are, it is no guarantee that another clown is as friendly as yours is and may attack your friend. You'll be able to pull your clown to safety faster if they're attached to a leash and this also prevents them from wondering off and getting hurt. Leashing isn't just for clowns who are not well trained or not well behaved. It's also for the safety of your own clown.

[clowneryranch]

where do you reccomend to ethically adopt clowns? Although I am relatively new to clownery, I want to get a scare clown and one other clown.

I'd look into various non-kill clown shelters, ethical ranches, and ethical breeders if you're looking for something specific. If you plan on getting a scare clown, I'd be very careful and do lots of research, we have a few in our care here at the ranch and they have very specific needs and a short temper. I would never recommend a scare clown to a beginner and certainly not with another clown breed that isn't a scare clown mix. Do your research on not only the clown you wish to adopt but, also the place in which you want to adopt the clown from. Happy clowning! -Clownery Ranch

[clowneryranch]

Hey clowneryranch! I adopted my first clown recently, but I’ve been having trouble identifying it! It is rather small with a long droopy hat and freckle-like markings in red blue and yellow. It jingles when it’s happy and likes to do tricks. I think it might be an acrobat of some kind, but definitely a hybrid. What is it and how to I take the best care of it?

It sounds to me like an acrobat/circus or possibly a jester/circus mix! Circus clowns tend to show acrobat behaviors. I'd recommend a large tent, one big enough to be considered a big top with three rings. I'd also recommend getting more clowns as naturally circus clowns and circus clown mixes require being in a troupe to preform shows and truly be happy. If that's not within your budget and the clown is small enough to be kept indoors, possibly you can get one of those smaller tents for children, lay three hula hoops down and you can supplement your lack of other clowns with plushies and dolls and extra attention from you. Now, When it comes to the diet of your clown, I'd recommend high quality cotton candy and a mix of nice and colorful cakes, pies, and various candies. And as it might possibly be a jester mix, try offering a few finger sandwiches or possibly macrons and see what he thinks! AVOID DRY CLOWN FOOD. It's full of additives and doesn't have nearly enough sucrose to keep your clown happy and bubbly. If you have any further questions, feel free to contact us! Happy clowning! - Clownery Ranch

[clowneryranch]

Would you happen to know where I could find a cohesive list of clown breeds? I think there's a small (50cm~) bugger living in the barn, and I heard some of em are venomus(?)

What should I do???

I would personally not recommend trying to get it yourself, call clown control and they will safely bring the clown out and off your property! Here, this is a lovely resource created by @inkspecter for finding what clown you may have on your hands! LINK

Good luck friend!

[clowneryranch]

Hey! I'm pretty new to clown keeping and I wanted to know if it's alright to give your clowns human food? I know you can give them rock candy and birthday cake but my aunt has a circus-something-mud and he gets scraps almost every day.

I tried to tell my family it's probably bad for him but they said that back in the day they never had to buy special clown food and most clowns are just being babied nowadays , so idk :/

It seriously depends on the clown and what sort of scraps however, it should NEVER be their only source of food. Clowns require high amounts of sugar. Especially anything related to a circus. Circus clowns are mostly candivores and need high quality candy floss, taffies, other various candies. They also need a fair portion of hot dogs, popcorn and sunflower seeds. You should have a deeper talk with your family and explain the health issues your clown is bound to develop from it's malnutrition. I also recommend taking him to a clown specialist vet. If they continue, even with the information, start feeding him properly yourself and he'll start eating less of the scraps because he'll already be full of the proper food. Thank you for your question!

[feril-floof-creations]

Pt 2 of cute clown things since people seemed to like the first one-

Saw this one happen, a small clown enjoying some cotton candy and decided it was a good idea to dip it in their chocolate milk. Did not turn out well and their owner had to stop laughing before they ordered more cotton candy for the poor floof, the clown sniffling but also slightly giggling at the ridiculousness of it all.

Clowns making little nests of practically anything they can hoard.

Clowns putting things in their mouth like play dough or other things they’re not supposed to and if you try to stop them they *run so freaking fast oh my GOSH*

Bigger clowns putting smaller ones on their shoulders/head/somewhere on them high up so they don’t get stomped on.

If clowns are in a colony they make sleeping piles in tiny ridiculous places and are pretty cuddly, usually getting tangled in each other.

If your clown is up to it, dancing around and letting them try out their tricks with music is great enrichment! Only if they seem like they’re enjoying it however as some clowns may not enjoy the pressure of more spontaneous or fast paced shows.

Clowns being sassy is absolutely hilarious to me. Little squeaks mocking whoever they’re sassing, waving their props at people, pouting in corners, sticking out their tongues, for larger clowns simply picking you up and walking off with you like a overgrown toddler. Absolutely amazing.

Furthermore- BIG CLOWN CHAOS. so often I see love for the little guys but big long stilt walkers! Scare clowns with long arms and legs curling around their owners, them acting like overgrown house cats and wanting to be in your lap but are too big. Them picking you up and hugging you and being sometimes protective of their owner, they also sometimes get scared and hide behind things that are faaaar to small for them.