The Clustered System

Welcome! We're a traumagenic DID system living in the UK!

[clustered-system]

Hey, you don't have to answer this but I'm dating a **system? guy with did? I'm not sure what term to use bc he never uses system but it's the one I see most often?** And I'm trying to be as supportive and understanding as possible. Any tips/reccomendations for partners of systems? He's said all his alters have some type of feelings for me and I regularly interact with some of them, but I want the rest of him to feel comfortable and supported. *sorry for any misused terms I'm learning.

Hi! First off i’m so sorry this is so late, I normally check this frequently but I lost the login. Late response is better than none right? ^^;

It’s great that you’re willing to learn and are being so supportive! You’re a wonderful person for doing that!  

The big one i’d say is communication. Systems can open up a whole world of confusion, and it’s really important to communicate clearly with each alter. While you certainly don’t have to get as close with them as your partner, it’s good to be on good terms with his alters. Spend some time getting to know them, take interest in them as people. Even if you only end up as acquaintances, that show of friendliness can go a long way to helping you get on with a system as a whole.

Another thing i’d say is patience. It can be upsetting for example if you were wanting to spend time with your partner but someone else fronts instead. This is just one of the unfortunate pitfalls that comes with systems. Plans are a lot harder to keep. You just have to keep in mind that it wasn’t a choice, and doesn’t reflect on you or your relationship. And if you’re on good terms with his alters like I suggested, hey maybe you can still have a great time!

This last point i’d like to make is pretty hotly debated, but: accountability. While blaming one alter for the actions of another is wrong, you should absolutely not let yourself be hurt or stepped on by any member of a system, and if you are then that’s maybe something to bring up with your partner and steps can be taken to resolve it.  Look after yourself too, and don’t force yourself to act like everything is fine if you’re hurting, just because it was a different alter that hurt you. Again, communication is key! 

Sorry again for the super late response, and I wish you all the best!

Gil

[thelatestkate]

♥   °˖✧*•  Shop, Patreon, Book, Mailing List *•. ✧˖°`

[didsuggestions]

let your alters talk, their voices deserve to be heard.

[flowerais-deactivated20211031]

some of you are actually the sweetest angels and it makes me sad to know that u don’t think good things about yourself

[damnselfly-b-deactivated2022042]

quick protip: if someone is crying or freaking out over something minor, eg wifi not connecting, can’t find their hat, people talking too loud, do NOT tell them how small or petty the problem is to make it better. they know. they would probably love to calm down. you are doing the furthest possible thing from helping. people don’t have to earn expressions of feelings.

[shoren18]

I’m just gonna put it out there that if someone’s freaking about something small, they’re really freaking out about something big that they’re trying to deal with, or something long term that’s been building up, and that little thing is the straw that broke the camel’s back.

I don’t know, try and give people the benefit of the doubt. Don’t be the next straw on their broken back.

[jrkaplonski]

Needed this today.

[animate-mush]

People don’t actually go from 0 to 60. If you think they did, you have failed to notice how long they’ve been at 59.

[autisticxprowl-deactivated20201]

People don’t actually go from 0 to 60. If you think they did, you have failed to notice how long they’ve been at 59.

[clustered-system]

RE that last post, i’d like to add something

Nowhere did Tai say that system responsibility wasn’t important. It absolutely is. 

but “You should step up and take responsibility and help deal with issues your alters are causing” and “Don’t paint all alters with the same brush because one does something you dislike” aren’t mutually exclusive

both can apply

Expecting others in a system to take responsibility and step in and try and do something about negative behavior being shown by one alter is fine. 

Treating all of those alters horribly and assuming they’re all the same is not so fine.

That’s all the post meant, I think. 

[hogwartsfemme-deactivated-deact]

If you genuinely judge one alter in a system based on the actions of other alters in that system, you don't need to be interacting with systems. That's like saying "Your sister is a bad person, so that makes you a bad person, too."

It's absolutely ridiculous and shows you lack the critical thinking skills to properly interact with others on the Internet.

—

Singlets can reblog, just don't comment.

[enchantella]

[clustered-system]

Can I ask what a 'persecutor' is?

In future I would prefer trans//meds not to interact but that’s my bad for not stating that when setting up this blog. I’ll answer since it’s a good question, but please don’t interact with us again

A persecutor is the term for an alter who tends to be detrimental to the system, through actively trying to harm the body, sabotaging relationships, abusing other alters etc. 

Sometimes persecutors can be based on traits of the original abuser, and sometimes they behave the way they do out of a misguided effort to protect the system. 

[plushiedefender]

me, gently pulling my consciousness back into my body: please keep your arms and legs inside the ride at all times

[neurodivergentaf]

DID Gothic

-You hear a funny joke and laugh. You turn around, but no one is there. It didn’t come from you. Who said that?

-Someone waves at you. You wave back. You don’t know them, but you both have been talking for a month.

-You find an incredible drawing of a bird you’ve never seen before. Distantly you recall drawing it, but the most you’ve ever be able to do is a traditional stick figure. You chalk it up to an anomaly and move on.

-You are walking. Where are you? What time is it? You find a coffee shop and then head home. You forgot what your destination was.

-You are texting a friend. You look through your text history and find that your typing style has become vastly different. You don’t know what this means.

-You are surfing the TV. ‘Choose that channel. ’ someone says. ‘No.’ you say. You feel like sulking.

-You are afraid and troubled. Your therapist says you have dissociative identity disorder. You are afraid and troubled.

[confidently-conflicting]

-Someone got you a glass of water. “That is so nice of them!” you think. You turn around to find that someone has also eaten your food. That is not as nice of them. You can’t find them anywhere.

-On the way to going home, you forget where home is. On the way to going home, you forget what age you are. Your favorite color. None of your music sounds right. You shrug. It’s just another day in the life. You’re you five years ago or it didn’t happen.

-Sometimes after you shut down, you reboot, seem stronger. It’s not you. You think it’s not you. You don’t know if the people you’re shutting down in front of know that it’s not you. Suddenly, you have energy and a higher voice. Suddenly, you’re more there than you were. They don’t notice, like how they don’t notice landmarks to recurring destinations.

-Someone says your name. You look up, snapping to attention. They are waiting for a response. It’s not your name.

[maemaybe]

Can I ask your opinion on systems with alters who present or come off as similar in interests, voice, or even way of wording/speaking when fronting? I see so much about all alters/parts being wholly and noticably differenciated from each other around tumblr that it's a bit frustrating and really adds to denial for those of us who have never felt safe to do that even in online spaces.

Despite what you see here on tumblr and in media depictions of DID, being a covert system is actually very common. It’s actually more common than being an overt system. Both covert and overt systems are real and valid, but overt systems tend to get media attention, be depicted in fiction, and be more visible. 

Your interests, voice, and manner of speaker are all influenced by your lived experiences, which you share with your alters. You share your vocal chords with your alters. Of course you sound like them. Being similar to one another and going undetected was most likely protective for you. Would being covert or noticeable have been advantageous for you in surviving whatever trauma you experienced? 

For overt or noticeable systems, there was most likely some reason why it was advantageous for them to be noticeably different from one another such as having to perform very different roles in different aspects of their life. 

Also, this is just my (possibly controversial) opinion, but I think that to some degree alters tend to play up how differentiated they are online. In online spaces people tend to curate their identities and present a very different persona than who they are in real life. I think that alters tend to do the same thing. I think that alters who are probably inclined to blend in and be covert in real life probably use online spaces to express themselves freely and be more overt because it’s a safe space to be seen as they wish to be seen. 

I know that my own system is so covert that no one can tell we have DID without us disclosing it first. Our switches are extremely subtle. But online, several of us have noticeably different writing styles, use different grammar and language, and behave quite differently. 

[happiersuggestion]

there are people you haven’t met yet who will love you

[clustered-system]

Sella

Blog: love-cure

☆ 16  ☆ She/Her  ☆ Female  ☆  Lesbian  ☆ ENFJ   ☆ Human  ☆

☆ Likes- ~ Lovecore ~ Pink ~ Neon lights ~ Hearts ~ Stationary ~ Cats ~ Magical girls

☆ Dislikes- ~ Yanderes ~ dd/lg

☆ Other- ~ Recently formed

[thegoodvybe]

[clustered-system]

System Littles and The Internet

While i’m sure some systems also take that side, the argument against system children being allowed on the internet most often seems to come from some singlets as a “gotcha” for why systems are, in their eyes, fake. 

Let me preface this by saying that this is in no way intended to shame systems who don’t allow their littles on the internet, this is just presenting information on why some systems choose to do so.

So, the main “gotcha” argument:

“If system littles are really children, why do you allow them on the internet, hm?”

Well, because it’s more complicated than that. Systems are very rarely black and white in their functioning, and system children are no different. 

Breaking things down to their simplest form, yes, system littles are children. However, due to being in the body of someone much older, they can’t be treated exactly like children. Let me explain.

Children in childrens bodies get their main form of entertainment through their friends. Fellow children, with whom they can play and socialise. 

Naturally, system littles also want to play and socialise. But it would be inappropriate for someone with a teenage or adult body to start hanging around small children, obviously. 

The internet however, allows system littles the opportunity to connect with other system children, as well as age regressors (a safe community of people who regress to a child like state, normally to cope with trauma or mental illness.) It gives them the opportunity to play and socialise just like every other child.

There’s also the argument of how exactly one would go about stopping a little using the internet. Switching can happen very suddenly at times. There is rarely opportunity to log out of your accounts and close things. Kids are curious. If they see something open, they’ll look through it. As well as that, if they know that everyone else in your system is doing something, they’ll want in. And if it’s your account they’re viewing, depending on the kind of content you follow, they could end up viewing something upsetting or inappropriate.

However, an older alter carefully setting up a special account for the little to switch to allows them to join in on the fun, but in a safe environment. They’ll no longer be interested in your accounts, because they have their own! It’s not as simple as letting them run wild on the internet, as clearly that would be very dangerous. It’s about providing them with supervised and monitored spaces as an alternative to letting them go ham on whatever you happen to have open at the time.

To put simply: they will use the internet regardless. It is better, in my eyes at least, to make sure they are as safe as possible while doing so by creating safe and carefully monitored places for them to play and have fun.

[magicalgirlmindcrank]

The average human body contains 1 (one) person

[randomistheonlyconstant]

Ahhh, finally, I feel above average.