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@coffeeandtearss
This is my side blog, so if you get notifs from or are followed by @sadpeachesblog that's me :)
I know im the problem but ALL I FUCKING WANT IS TO HAVE YOUR FULL ATTENTION AND NOT HAVE TO ASK FOR IT
how the fuck did i turn into this.
Every time she says she loves me all i can think is βwhy would you?β I fucking hate myself so much i dont know why shes dating me. I have zero redeeming qualities, i have nothing to offer, and on top of that im absolutely disgusting and vile. I cant even look at myself without getting nauseous. Every single part of my body is gross. God i fucking hate myself.
Not my picture
no one talks about the depressive episodes that come along with eating disorders
My ED to me after realizing I weigh the exact same as I did a year ago
I know the sex usually chills out farther into the relationship but i keep thinking about how i was at my skinniest when we started dating and she couldnβt keep her hands off me and now she barely ever wants to have sex and is always more interested in a book or her tv show. We used to kiss constantly but now its just a quick peck we donβt kiss like we used to. And now i cant stop thinking about how its probably because Iβm 20lbs heavier and gross. She probably finds me revolting and i feel guilty even being affectionate or holding hands. Every time weβre physically touching i just want to cry because of how disgusting and obese i feel. I let myself go and this is what i get. The only way i can get back to how it was in the beginning, when she was excited to see me and thought i was beautiful, is to lose weight.
i need to be skinny, I really need it.
if I'm skinny, everyone will praise me and tell me how pretty I look. my clothes would fit perfectly fine.
I would be happy.
ππ’πππππ‘ππ¦ ππ¦ πππ£π π‘βπππ ππ
Hiiii I'm back, need to follow more ED blogs cuz my dash is real empty :( please like or reblog if you're an active ED blog for a follow! I plan on starting a posting schedule soon :)
My family and relatives : commenting on my weight and insecurities
Me:
Weβre all gonna look like this in summerβοΈ
Me trying to convince myself that the terrible low calorie meal i just made tastes good
Restaurant Safe Meals
here is my list of safe meals at various fast food restaurants. each includes a "spontaneous" option for when i can't plan ahead and need to stay under my limit and a "planned" option for when i know i have to eat out and i can make it my only meal. this will be updated as needed and is based on terre haute indiana nutrition facts.
fuckin hate liquid calories
~90cal cucumber/Creame cheese snac
(my all time favorite snack)
You need:
-200g cucumber (32)
-25g cream cheese (mine was about 60cals)
-spices(optional)
How to:
Just cut the cucumber into slices, add the cream cheese in between and (if you want) sprinkle some spices on top:)