funny shit...i guess

Hi! I am Lizz. I spell my name with two z's. It just looks weird with one (she/he/they) queer married to the love of my life❤

[daelightsaving]

As I come up on my 25 birthday Ive been reflecting a lot on how far I've come in the last five years. Honestly I was a shell of a person in 2017. I was just starting to socialize and make new friends after years of sitting in bed hoping for things to change. If you had told me then that in five years I would have a wfh office job and live in an amazing apartment complex with the love of my life and be discussing marriage and have a totally different group of friends I would have just fundamentally not believed you. The 5 years between 20 and 25 come with so much change and growth that I look at who I was then and I don't even recognize that person in such a wonderful way.

[coffeeglitch]

Those tags tho. My eyes got so big when I saw the word marriage. I'm so excited for you, you deserve all this happiness

[daelightsaving]

When you finish a book and feel an overwhelming sense of love and appreciation for your boyfriend and you try to go bask in it with him but he's coding something and hyper focused.

[coffeeglitch]

Ahh I hate that. Like hey I am basically a sim. I interacted with a thing, now I have mood and just selected a suggested interaction. Don't give me negative friendship points

[coffeeglitch]

My child fell asleep on me

[tiktoksthataregood-ish]

[the-brave-and-the-dumb]

if you're from Ukraine, you have a uterus and don't want to be pregnant:

1. First of all AVOID AT ANY COST people and sites that have the name of "Ordo Iuris" or "pro-prawo do życia" (translate: pro-life). If you see a logo of fetus inside a heart, run.

Pro-prawo do życia foundation informed that one woman from Ukraine contacted them, asking for abortion. She barely spoke polish, which they admitted without any shame, that's why she thought that if they talk about abortion, they can provide it. They informed that they "explained children are not killed in Poland" and that now she's "in a safe place where no harm can come to her and her baby". I don't have words for how fucking inhuman it is to manipulate traumatized woman into carrying pregnancy she's not ready for since she's a refugee with no finances.

2. If you need abortion, contact:

Aborcyjny Dream Team

Ciocia Basia (abortion in Berlin; they can be found on facebook and theor email is [email protected])/ Ciocia Czesia (abortion in Czech Republic)

Abortion without borders (all of the above cooperate with them)

They will give you information on how to perform safe abortion with right medicaments or will help to travel abroad.

3. If anyone would try to threat you, remember than in Poland it is still legal to do abortion yourself, that's why it's mostly done with pills. Don't let them manipulate you. Fuck these people. You're not evil for needing abortion.

Please, help me spread this message and translate it in Ukrainian, please

[fatalwa]

Переклад українською

Якщо Ви з України, маєте матку та не хочете бути вагітними:

1. По-перше, УНИКАЙТЕ БУДЬ-ЯКОЮ ЦІНОЮ людей та вебсайти, які називаються “Ordo Iuris” або “pro-prawo do życia” (переклад: про-право для життя). Якщо бачите лого з плодом всередині серця - біжіть.

Фонд “pro-prawo do życia” сповістив про українку, яка звернулася до нього (фонду) з метою отримати аборт. Вона практично не знала польську мову - про що фонд заявив без сорому - та подумала, що він (фонд) може надати аборт, оскільки робітники говорили про аборти. Фонд сповістив, що вони “пояснили жінці, що дітей в Польщі не вбивають” і що українка “зараз знаходиться в безпечному місці, де ніщо не нашкодить їй та її дитині”. Я не маю слів, щоб описати наскільки нелюдяно маніпулювати травматизованою жінкою та заставляти її виношувати дитину, до якої вона не готова, бо вона біженка без грошей.

2. Якщо Вам потрібен аборт, ось список організацій, до яких можна звернутися:

Aborcyjny Dream Team (польська організація)

Ciocia Basia (аборт в Берліні, Німеччина; їх можна знайти на Фейсбуці, електронна пошта: [email protected]) / Ciocia Czesia (аборт в Чехії)

Abortion without borders (організації вище співпрацюють з цією)

Ці організації зможуть надати інформацію про те, як зробити безпечний аборт за допомогою правильних медичних препаратів або допоможуть виїхати за кордон для отримання аборту.

3. Якщо хтось намагатиметься погрожувати Вам - пам’ятайте, що в Польщі Ви можете легально зробити медикаментозний аборт самостійно (тому зазвичай аборти робляться за допомогою препаратів). Не давайте їм маніпулювати Вами. Хай ці люди йдуть нахуй. Ви не винні та Ви не погана людина через те, що Вам потрібен аборт.

Российский перевод

Если Вы с Украины, имеете матку и не хотите быть беременными:

1. Во-первых, ИЗБЕГАЙТЕ ЛЮБОЙ ЦЕНОЙ людей и вебсайты, которые называются “Ordo Iuris” или “pro-prawo do życia” (перевод: про-право на жизнь). Если видите лого с плодом внутри сердца - бегите.

Фонд “pro-prawo do życia” оповестил об украинке, которая обратилась к нему (фонду) за абортом. Она практически не знала польский язык - что фонд признает без всякого стыда - и подумала, что он (фонд) может помочь сделать аборт, поскольку работники говорят о них. Фонд оповестил, что они “объяснили женщине, что детей в Польше не убивают” и что украинка “сейчас находится в безопасном месте, где ни ей, ни ее ребенку ничего не угрожает”. У меня нет слов, чтобы передать, насколько бесчеловечно манипулировать женщиной, пережившей эмоциональную травму, и заставлять ее вынашивать ребенка, к которому она не готова, потому что она беженка без денег.

2. Если Вам нужен аборт, вот список организаций, к которым можно обратиться:

Aborcyjny Dream Team (польская организация)

Ciocia Basia (аборт в Берлине, Германия; их можно найти на Фейсбуке, электронная почта: [email protected]) / Ciocia Czesia (аборт в Чехии)

Abortion without borders (организации выше сотрудничают с этой)

Эти организации могут предоставить информацию о том, как сделать безопасный аборт с помощью правильных медицинских препаратов или помогут выехать за границу, чтобы получить аборт там.

3. Если кто-то будет пытаться угрожать Вам - помните, что в Польше Вы можете легально сделать медикаментозный аборт самостоятельно (поэтому обычно аборты делают при помощи препаратов). Не давайте им манипулировать Вами. Пусть эти люди идут нахуй. Вы не виноваты и Вы не являетесь ужасным человеком из-за того, что Вам нужен аборт.

[popsunner]

Was just informed by my mom that I do in fact have ADHD and the reason I thought I didn’t was because ever since I was seven whenever I got super energetic my mom would have me go chop wood so now when I’m feeling The ADHD I go chop wood and I thought it was just some sort of routine I started when I was little and wanted to blow off steam

[popsunner]

I’d also like to point out that my sister has a really hard time staying present (I can’t remember the term because we’ve always called it Tethered at my house) and whenever she’s feeling Untethered my mom has her knead bread and make syrup because they’re repetitive and easy things to do that ground her

[popsunner]

Now that I’m thinking about it- my brother has days where he doesn’t talk and doesn’t eat unless he’s prompted, and on those days my mom sits him down in the fish pond in the backyard and plays Mozart and because he’s so used to that being his wake up he always comes back in after like an hour rambling about random things

[popsunner]

Oh yeah and when it rains my mom has a required hour where we all have to go outside and run around and whoever finds the most worms for the garden wins and then we go inside and my mom makes us tea and we watch Studio Ghibli movies

[popsunner]

Wait!!! When one of us has a bad day at school we make a fire in the backyard and roast homemade sausages and my mom tells us stories until we laugh and then she tucks is in bed like we’re five again and sings us songs

[popsunner]

Uh.... wait guys is my mom a witch raising a bunch of fae kids hold on-

[eldritch-eternity]

“I didn’t know I had adhd because my mom gave me such an effective coping mechanism” is such a high bar to clear and she soared over it like a space-plane.

[pterribledinosaurdrawings]

I am staying hydrated, are You staying hydrated?

[shosta]

pterrible dinosaur drawings is keeping me from diedrating.

[mxbutchtwink]

I'm attracted to fat men and hairy men because I have good taste and they're gorgeous. No ulterior motives. Stop being weird about it.

[look-inside-my-mind]

I'm addicted

I'm addicted to caffeine

Because I struggled in high school

That's really what it boils down to

When my depression took over

And my anxiety kept me up

I felt defeated and I couldn't go on

I turned to all kinda of substances

But my one constant was coffee

I tried to destroy myself so many times

I needed to let go

In order to heal

(That what my therapist said anyway)

So I took what I could

Now I ache and groan everytime I move

I feel like a tree

My past is clear in my rings

I know it,

The wind breezes past

My long limbs sway with me

Hmmmm

I need to take that next step

It all hurts too much

I think about the times I made mistakes

That's what I call boys with drugs

I think about my husband

He is the opposite of a mistake

My straightedge baby

I wake every morning and make him coffee

Like it's not one of my coping mechanisms

It's not something I've used to self medicate

I lie to myself everymorning

I'm great at lying

I can't lie to him

[rslashrats]

the fact that real people went to dashcon and that they walk among us is terrifying to me

[shakuras3nder]

Where did you say they were walking?

[rslashrats]

[relelvance]

[prismatic-bell]

I was there, Gandalf.

They still owe me $40.

[hockpock]

Wow, thanks for implying i should be shot because i went to a convention for a thing i enjoy. Seriously. Fuck you.

[rslashrats]

what part of this post said i want to shoot people who went to dashcon

[roseverdict]

reading comprehension on this webbed site is piss-poor

[stars-below]

[look-inside-my-mind]

My favorite place in the entire universe

Your arms tight around me

Your breath in my ear

Your cock throbbing between my legs

My god!

I finally understand 'of one flesh'

I writh between your gasp for air

I can't let you pull away from me

I love you my god

Who knows what is out there

Who cares how we got here

Who am I compared to you

The god I worship

[coffeeglitch]

Guys! I've been inspired. Getting high and feeling loved seems to do that. Yay!

[gayemoji]

theres something cool about how tyler oakley still regularly uses this site. when thebootydiaries is just in an endlessly repeating 2016 queue, when dan & phil & jacksepticeye & seth everman have all migrated completely to twitter, when markiplier & john green have been reduced to just "classic tumblr" memes, when the rest were all banned for being russian spies. i have no idea what tylers up to these days but i appreciate that he's still here just being a regular ass tumblr user.

[tyleroakley]

help they won’t let me leave

[prince-ofthe-stars]

[gayemoji]

apparently he is no longer a landlord !! so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[tyleroakley]

it’s almost like people can learn & then choose to grow

but still i can’t get off this site i’m not joking send help

[truenoodle]

Oh god this resonates so much. I don't know how to communicate the emotions I felt being one of like 3 women in a class while all 20-30 guys around me made rape jokes and laughed and told me to lighten up when I complained, or talked about "what type of Asian is your favourite" like we were breeds of dog or cuts of meat, or hear the guy beside me say "who cares?" when the prof announced that the first woman had just won the fields medal, or even just the blatant staring when I walked into class like I was some kind of foreign object.

[captainjonnitkessler]

Who wired my fucking house. Give me a fucking name. I just wanna talk

[cephalopodvictorious]

Ya know those articles that went around a while back about how Millenials know less about repairs/home repairs than boomers, and its framed as a “haha these idiots can diy a bathroom rug but HIRE a roofer, how incompetent!”

Because everyone I know who has a house has at some point sat on the floor in tears because nothing is up to code and they’re a heartbeat away from losing everything in a fire and I’m like. Maybe we don’t know less, maybe we just know more and have less hubris

[captainjonnitkessler]

You are exactly right. I have some old DIY books that are REALLY casual about things like “here’s a one-page tutorial on how to knock out part of your foundation to add a cellar door!” “Here’s how to run a 100 amp subpanel yourself!” And i’m like cool! How did anyone survive the seventies!

Look, contractors are expensive for a REASON. Doing a job correctly takes skill, knowledge, and experience. Doing the job wrong can literally be deadly. It can be fun and handy to learn DIY home repair, but like … There’s definitely a limit!

[cephalopodvictorious]

…we are the children of the DIYers who didn’t burn

[wickedlovelymad]

@thebibliosphere

[burntcopper]

oh god.  I hear so many stories from customers in retail, and am so glad my parents have always believed in hiring people who knew what they were doing because it would be faster and probably cost less.

[reelaroundthedavekan]

As a homeowner you gotta know when a job is beyond your skills. You also need to factor in the consequences of fucking it up.

[therustyskull]

Part of it is boomers grew up with parents who were part of this giant new suburban generation and their parents had this ‘we can do anything, we won WWII!’ attitude - and new markets like Popular Mechanics drove all the DIY stuff before safety and regulations caught up. I am quite capable of doing some serious work but it does come down to - can I do it right? Can I do it better than a pro? Will it be safe/up to code? Things like the shed I built, it ain’t going anywhere but then again - no power wired to it and it is a small outbuilding. Not like tearing out a structural wall in my house. Also hitting my 50s my body disagrees on what I can accomplish too, time does equal money and skill too, so sometimes (most times) it’s better to pony up for a contractor.

[styro-sometimes]

My first house, when we renovated the kitchen we found out that the ENTIRE KITCHEN had been wired with ungrounded two-prong household 6′ extension cords connected together, plugged into each other and secured with electrical tape on one end, with the other end spliced into the main house wiring.  The fact that the house hadn’t burned down was a goddamn miracle. 

[laughterkey]

My kitchen floor is cracking because someone before me DIY installed it and they didn’t put the proper base in under the tile so they continually come loose and knock into each other/break the grout. Had a professional attempt to re-tile one section where it had gotten really bad and within a month they were loose again.

[gallusrostromegalus]

There’s a Reason “Do Your Own Electrical Work” is listed in this cheery little song:

Warning: Cartoon Gore and Death. But also. Do NONE of these things, and God Bless Australia and their idea of a Saftey PSA.

[goddamnshinyrock]

my (boomer) father built houses for a living for half his adult life, and he and my mother built every building on their property themselves (house, barn, assorted outbuildings) and the two things he always insists on hiring a contractor for are plumbing and electrical. The consequences of fucking up either of those are never worth the cost savings of attempting DIY.

[harpyhormones]

con artists that forge art and wine to sell to rich snobs for millions of dollars: cool, good

con artists that target marginalized groups and harass and make legal threats against people calling them on it: guillotine

[panda1345]

…. art theft is art theft. Punish all of them the same or not at all.

[harpyhormones]

man shut the fuck up

[panda1345]

So crime is okay in some circumstances?

[harpyhormones]

yes

[sonseulsoleil]

It’s almost 1 AM but in the song Belle from Beauty and the Beast the villagers sing “I need six eggs” “that’s too expensive!” and then later in the song Gaston, Gaston says “when I was a lad I ate four dozen eggs every morning to help me get large, now that I’m grown I eat five dozen eggs so I’m roughly as large as a barge” Gaston has been eating dozens of eggs every day for his entire life and is single handedly creating an artificial egg scarcity in the village and driving up egg prices. this economy is in shambles.

[renthony]

I made a post about kinky things awhile back, and it's got a long list of reblogs talking about the psychology of kink, healthy kink expression being a form of self-care, things like that. It's a pretty cool thread talking about safe kink and healthy sexual expression, that doesn't really focus on any specific kink as much as it discusses kink and sex in general.

Some jackass has brought the thread to a screeching halt by adding a comment about how "omg, you guys don't mean pedophilia, right?!"

And I need people to understand that if you look at a queer person talking about kink, and automatically get alarmed that they might mean pedophilia, you have fallen for a decades-old homophobic smear campaign.

The idea that queer kinksters are here to violate your children and corrupt them to our deviant lifestyle is an old, violently homophobic panic, and reacting to a post about kink with "OMG PEDOPHILIA!" is part of the fucking problem.

No I'm not fucking talking about pedophilia, and the fact that you think "queer kinky sex = red flag for pedophilia" means you have some violently homophobic shit to unpack.

Jackass.