After their talk, TF!Scott commented about how TF!Legs reminds him of himself when would have to go off into a forest and cave and punch trees and rocks with his bare fists in order to vent out his anger when he was younger. I bet Legs talking about how he was gonna go back to breaking stuff really made him have some flashbacks.
How much of his own bones did he break and his own blood did he spill against stone and wood after the incident with the bandits I wonder? Angry at just how unfair life was and how cruel other people could be. Angry that he survived when the others did not. Angry at himself for hesitating and having to come home to the screams and wails of mourning families because he couldn’t move when he needed to. Just so, incredibly angry and the only thing he could think to do to deal with it was to put himself in pain until the day he could strangle his own negative emotions down deep into his soul and hold them there.
It’s no wonder he’s a force of nature in a fight, since that’s the only time he feels it’s appropriate to actually let himself feel negative emotions. Other than that he tries to maintain control of his emotions as best as he can, to not perfect results. He mentioned that when he did let go he had accidentally killed AJ, feeling guilty over letting his emotions go the way they did. This instance probably reaffirming his not so healthy “stuff everything down into my soul” mentality.
I think he feels that he physically cannot allow himself to feel strong emotions anymore freely. His magic started to encroach into his being and room whenever he was in distress about Pyro, he accidentally killed AJ when she lit just the right match to ignite the fuse, overwhelming fear caused him to freeze up in the most perilous situation in his life up to that point with the bandits during the supply trip. Every incident continues to reaffirm this severe repression of his emotions because every time he’s felt something that strongly something bad happened/was happening. It’s an incredibly unhealthy and cruel thing to do to yourself, and I feel sad that he probably feels like it’s his only option.
He has to be calm, collected, and helpful. The pressure he puts on himself to maintain those aspects of himself even under extreme circumstances is way too much for any one person to have to deal with. This is not me saying that Scott is a ticking time bomb that everyone should avoid with a 10 foot pole. Quite the opposite actually. He’s a guy that will need help when the time comes if things go even more south than they already are. Because I have a feeling the more of his distress that he tries to bottle up, the bigger the possibility of his magic overtaking him in the future to inevitably disastrous results.
