cold - 22 - they/them - hermitshipping ahead be warned - i tag art with #art tag for now if u wanna have a lookie - header by the lovely talented cute amazing tso @tsoican
something vindictive but ultimately harmless I do at work is that if you’re at my register and you’re rude to me and you pay with cash I am finding the most disgusting desolate fucked up unspeakable coin I can to give to you. oh you were mean to me? you’re getting the yucky nickel bitch
i can’t stand “it’s not that deep” attitudes like even if it really really isn’t that deep just PLAY WITH ME. just fucking PLAY. have a meaningless but deep analytical conversation with me. just like think about shit for fun. does anyone else like to think about stuff for fun. it’s so lonely
re: skizz thing- saw it online. apparently someone sent a dono to skizz saying that he hasn’t said anything about pride month yet and asking him to say trans rights or smth, he said no cause that’s political, which got him in some hot water, he responded saying that he meant to say it was “polarizing” and that he doesn’t like being told what to do. there’s a statement online that he made but that’s kinda the root of the issue majority of ppl r talking about
ohhhhh gotcha gotcha. ty cold beloved <3
yikers… I can’t say I’m too surprised, considering skizz (like a lot of the other hermits) is a middle aged man who lived in a Very different generation compared to us but it’s definitely a disappointing response :(
lgbtq+ isn’t political… and for smth as simple as acknowledging pride month? I get not liking being told what to do but it’s not harmful in Any way. what he ended up doing was harmful but. Sighs. it’s crazy to me that he’d reply like that, esp when his literal best friend, impulse opened up a june stream with “welcome to the best month of the year” or smth like that
crazy
hopefully he comes to realize Why it’s so important to his audience and is a bit more open to being vocal I guess???
of course np moch !! sorry to bring the sad news tho </3
hopefully he'll do some rethinking for himself personally- i hope ppl put the hurt into supporting other lgbt or ally streamers or fan creators, i think talking about it from the point of view of educating him prob wont work in the long run- he knows something is off and has the opprotunity to talk to peers or do his own research.
voice acting as a profession is so funny because you'll see someone being like "voice actors need to be paid better! like [obscure person you've never heard of]" and you're like "oh I wonder who that person is, maybe I've heard them voice a character" and you look it up and it turns out they voice 137 characters in Futurama and 94 characters in The Simpsons and 96 characters in Adventure Time and every one of the My Little Ponies and 27 characters in Arcane and 96 characters in Kim Possible and 4 characters in Phineas and Ferb and 296 characters in Dexter's Laboratory and all of the main cast of Fairly Odd Parents and at least 6 characters in every Pixar movie and almost every animated depiction of Superman and 473 SpongeBob characters and they've been in every installment of Mass Effect and Halo and The Elder Scrolls and Fallout and Call of Duty and they were in Star Trek and Law & Order and they were 12 characters in the MCU and they also invented t-shirts and the colour green and they got paid a sum total of $3.27 and a mothball for all of it combined. then you go burn down David Zaslav's house with him inside
Hermitcraft: Lucky in Love Day 7 - ZombieCleo and Skizzleman
One says stupid things, and one likes to laugh a lot.
Read it here on AO3. (Also, look under the cut for today's bonus drawing!)
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“DONG! DONG! DONG!”
Cleo looked up incredulously at the dark-robed figure swooping down from the sky to perch on her mud factory like a gargoyle. “Skizz!”
“Clebert- I mean. Ahem ZOMBIECLEO!” Skizzleman’s voice rumbled low and grating through the enhancement filter, down to the clearing of his throat. “I have come once more.”
Only half-covering her snicker, Cleo shook her head. “Skizz, really,” she scolded, “you can’t just fly up on someone yelling Dong and telling them you’ve come. I could’ve been streaming!”
“Look-” Skizz tilted the Reaper mask up from his face, slipping back into his normal voice. “I misplaced the horn with the bells that do the dingy-dong, okay? I had to improvise!” He pulled the mask back down and stood tall against the sky, in a manner that he thought looked intimidating. “And now I am here for YOU!”
“Okay, well, will you come down from there so we don’t have to shout at each other?”
“Oh, yeah, actually, that’s a good idea. MWAHAHAHAHA!” Skizz laughed menacingly as he leapt off the roof, gliding down in a tightening spiral and landing on top of the nearby ender chest. “You’re right, this is a lot easier on my throat.”
Cleo sat on the edge of her bed, looking pointedly at Skizz. “Now, didn’t we already do all this dress-up stuff?” she asked, waving at Skizz’s Reaper outfit. “I distinctly remember something about being banished to- was it the Borderlands?”
“Well, yeah, but, I mean,” Skizz began, scratching the side of his head. Even through the Reaper mask he managed to look almost bashful. “You DID have the whole manufacturing thing set up last time, and so I talked to the boss-man since, you know, figuring out how to banish the disobedient takes a while - so I talked to him to see if he’d let me talk you round to building a shop and then we could skip the whole thing! I even had the fancy words run by him!” He puffed out his chest again, trying to regain his composure. “The Reaper’s mercy has been extended, ZombieCleo, and you have been given a chance to repent your wicked ways.”
“My wicked ways, is it?” A sigh. “Skizz, I built a perfectly good shop, and you and Scar impounded it as a popup when it wasn’t. It’s still working as a shop even now!”
After a moment, Skizz pushed the mask up once more and flopped to a sitting position on the ender chest. “Look, I tried, okay?” He gestured towards the distant shopping district, and the even more distant Permit Office. “They’re trying to be all serious about this, and Cubbie and G, they’re saying that I'm going soft on you!"
"You are going soft on me.” Cleo crossed her arms, one eyebrow raised. “I was promised banishment. I feel particularly un-banished right now."
"Okay, but- that’s- you-” He looked at her with the biggest puppy-dog eyes ever seen on a Reaper. “I don’t wanna banish you, Clebert! I’d miss you too much!"
“And now we learn not to write checks we can’t cash!” She stood from the bed. “If there’s no consequences for my actions, Skizz, I’m not gonna change what I’m doing. You should know that by now!”
Skizz’s jaw floundered a moment, looking for words - before his eyes shifted and lit up like a pair of lightbulbs. He smiled slowly.
“You know what? I have a better idea.” He leaned forward, gripping the ender chest with both hands. “I know exactly what I’m gonna do. I’m gonna stay right here, exactly this far from you-”
Cleo clutched her chest, sarcasm dripping from her words. “Oh, no, being forced to be around you constantly? The torture! How will I ever bear it?”
“Shut it, lemme finish this! I’m gonna stay right here, and I’m gonna keep this thing on, and I will keep tolling the bell.” The grin stretched so far the edge of it disappeared under the Reaper mask as he pulled it down, slipping back into the filter, and pointed right at her. “And I’m not gonna go find the horn, Clebert. Just my voice. Just dong, dong, dong.”
Cleo’s eyes widened, the hand rising to cover her mouth. Skizz cackled.
“That’s right! I will bring down the Reaper’s Curse upon you, Cleo! No stream will be safe! There shall be dongs following you everywhere!”
The first snicker leaked from behind Cleo’s hand. Skizz raised his hands, kicking the Ender Chest with the force of his proclamations. “Endless donging, wherever you may roam, until you build the shop or run yourself to exile! Cast to the Borderlands by the power of my Dong!”
And now Cleo bent double, stumbling towards him and wheezing with laughter, one arm pressed to her stomach. The sound of Skizz’s joined a moment later, jumping an octave to a giggle as the filter came off once more.
“My God, Skizz,” Cleo finally managed, straightening and wiping a tear from her eye, “sometimes I think you’re worse than Scar! At least he doesn’t do it on purpose!”
Skizz just grinned and fluttered his eyelids down at her. “Oh, you know you love me, Clebert!”
A pause, and Cleo looked right at Skizz, letting her voice even out. “I do, Skizz.” A soft smile. “I do love you. I’m so glad you’re here.”
She pushed herself to tiptoe, just close enough to press a quick smooch against his cheek.
Skizz’s face loaded a blush, from chin up to cheek and finally the whole face. He pumped his fists in the air, hooting victoriously.
“WOO-hoo-hoo-hACK!”
His satisfied laughter cut itself off as he leaned too far backwards, tumbling off the ender chest and landing butt-first on the grass. As he lay there, dizzy and still grinning, Cleo walked close enough to lean over him.
Her voice returned to its normal evenly-threatening tone. “And if you go around telling people that, I might just have to teach you what your own lungs taste like. Capiche?"
In reply, Skizz simply saluted, waiting for his breath to return.
“Good boy.” Cleo offered him a hand to help him up. “Come on, that’s enough donging for you today. Let’s go do something more fun.”
A firm grip from Skizz, one eyebrow raised as she hauled him to his feet. “More fun than donging?”
Cleo grinned back, waving the online list.
“Messing with Etho.”
So, I was working in a lab, right? My job in the lab was preparing a pure, concentrated enough sample of virus. This is tricky since, y'know, viruses require hosts to replicate, but you then need to get the host cells (and the pieces of the host cells that died!) out of the sample while still keeping the viruses. Once I'd finished and the samples had been sent to the database for analysis as well as a second one sent to be frozen for future reference, there was still some left over that needed to be disposed of.
I, knowing that this was a once in a lifetime opportunity, waited carefully for the lab director to be deep in conversation with someone else on the other side of the laboratory. And then I took my chance.
Test tubes, as it turns out, are really bad as shot glasses. Their shape turns any liquid inside into a stream, so you really can't knock it back quickly - it takes a couple seconds. Additionally, the best way I can describe the taste of virus concentrate was "sterile rot". A very unique kind of bad! Made worse by the test tube's inefficiency as a shot glass.
(by the way we were studying bacteriophages, not animal viruses. these viruses are too specialized on attacking prokaryotes to even recognize our cells as targets at all, according to studies.)
(but also like. if the viruses managed to successfully switch hosts and killed me with a violent infection, itd still be worth it.)
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