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I'd rather be in outer space šø
Claire Keane
Keni
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@coldwindsdarknights
my favorite thing about crocodiles is yeah they're fantastic swimmers and yeah they can run pretty fast and yeah the smaller ones can even climb trees but also. they don't wanna do any of that shit. they just go no, no thanks. that's not for me. i think i'll just wait for someone to mistake me for a log and get too close. and then i'll eat them. many reptiles love this strategy but none pull it off like the humble croc
just my take on the matter. click post.
aroace nonbinary people you are everything to me. shout out to the bitches who just said "nah i'm not doing any of that"
Will you be seeing red after taking this quiz?
I can only readĀ ādogsā and only see anything in one other. I see nothing in any other.
8/10 but fuck, OW.
8/10 also!
10/10 but one was pure chance (just looks like a red box to me, but thereās no option for āi canāt see shitā!!!)
honestly given my parents whole [gestures vaguely] i am actually incredibly well adjusted
my man ā¤ļø
take my mermaid quiz boy
If you were a mermaid, what animal form would your lower half take? Are you a slithery eel, a powerful shark, or maybe a colorful reef fish?
Years of personal growth can be unraveled in 2 days at your parents house
Doomed siblings have me on a chokehold in a way no trope can ever achieve. Something so gut wrenchingly beautiful about two kids going through unimaginable trauma and coming out damaged forever. I always eat it up. Maybe they stay together and find solace only in each other, used and kicked out by society! Maybe they end up on opposite sides of the war! Maybe they end up betraying one another! Maybe one of them dies haunting the narrative forever! Maybe one of them destroys the world for the other! So many endless tragic possibilities!
GNU SIR TERRY PRATCHETT
Sir Terence David John Pratchett, OBE (28 April 1948 ā 12 March 2015)
Signal this to all towers, not logged.
āHeād never have wanted to go home. He was a real linesman. His name is in the code, in the wind in the rigging and the shutters. Havenāt you ever heard the saying āA manās not dead while his name is still spokenā?- Going Postal
CONSTANTINE francise lawrence, 2005
Happy Birthday Alan Alda!
Alphonso Joseph D'Abruzzo (28 January 1936):
There are people who think that the only thing that separates humans from the rest of the animals is their ability to laugh. Iām not so sure anything separates us from the rest of the animals except perhaps our extreme egotism that leads us to think that theyāre animals and weāre not. But I do notice that when people are laughing, theyāre generally not killing one another. So keep laughing yourself and if you can get other people to join you in your laughter, you may help keep this shaky boat afloat.
All my haters become aligators when I activate my gatorinator.
you laugh now, but when my gatorinator is ready, it's all over
update:
transmogrifying my haters into an animal that is known for something called the "death roll" has backfired in a manner no one could have forecasted
Having taken stock of the situation, it's not as bad as I originally thought. It's not like these crocodilians are an urgent problem, much less a representation of my own mortality. There's no ticking clock here.
well now you're just doing this on purpose
I think that's the highest tags forecast I have received so far.
Posts that have 100k gators to me.
Actually there are only 5 gators in my post, but it is an understandable mistake.
Now there are 100,005 gators on this post
...
You know what? Good job.
Other people said this post had thousands of notes in their mind, but only contributed two notes.
You? You said that it had 100k gators to you.
And then you did it.
+1 respect point.
now that's what i call a
gator aid
Take a look at Gators Georg here.
DAILYFLICKS 30K EVENT: FAVORITE 90s FILM PER MEMBER ā³ MUPPET TREASURE ISLAND (1996)ā Kraina (@sonyarebecchiā)
He died? And this is supposed to be a kidsā movie.
Leverage meme ā” quotes [5/5] ā from Nathan Ford
My name is Nathan Ford. And Iā¦ am a thief.Ā
#hmm thanks Ā for reminding me that I actually rather love this character#leverage#nathan ford#heās not a good man really#(though by some terrifying metrics he is indeed a Good Man)#but he has aligned himself with good and he will get there come hell or high water#the thing is#he is the hell and he is the high water#he is the monster that hunts monsters#the abyss consumed him long ago and thatās just. how it is. he just lives here now#because thatās the thing#the abyss consumes you and everythingā¦doesnāt end#you keep living#you keep living even though you are nothing but howling rage in the shell of a man#but then you turn that rage and that abyss upon the monsters that made you#and you bring the abyss to themĀ (via @aethersea)
#nateās scarier than anyone else on that teamĀ #even though all of them could run circles around him in thief skillsĀ
#he doesnāt run circles around anyoneĀ #he just builds the trackĀ #and watches cooly while everyone else runs
There are moments when Nate goes completely cold and he is way scarier than any of them, or all the rest of them combined, like a reminder of what is sitting there under the surface - an incomparably brilliant mind with no heart to anchor it and nothing to believe in.
you can tell that Nate is an ex-Jesuit, or perhaps more accurately an almost-Jesuit He has this Catholic self-hatred coupled with this deeply rooted sense heās better than others and itās all tied together with a large amount of āhere, hold my beerā
āMy father would buy me an ice-creamā is just the the most terrifying thing anyone in the show says.
He says, in one line, that he was raised to be bad, knows how to be bad, chose to be good, fell, chose to be good by doing bad, but his gut reflex, the one heās been supressing for his entire life, is just to be a walking nightmare, exactly what youād expect if you rewarded a child for lying, cheating, swindling, and hurting for fun and profit.
Nate Ford is not a nice man. But heās all thatās standing between us and Jimmy Fordās Son, so letās be thankful for that.
The thing I love about Nathan Ford (one of the things, letās be honest here) is that it is very important to him that he chooses not to be his fatherās son.
He has a gut-level instinctive ability to manipulate everyone around him without thinking about it, could have been as good a grifter as Sophie, as dangerous a criminal as his father, (but worse, because he is exactly as good at what he does as he thinks he is, and he is capable of telling exactly how good everyone else is and adjusting his plans accordingly), the skyās the limit!
He is ruthless in the way of that famous Applegate/animorphs quotation in that he can see the line from where he is to where he wants to be, can see what adjustments he will have to make when something goes wrong along the way, and once he starts he will not step off his path.
And heās Jimmy Fordās son. Heās seen exactly what that might take along the way and he will not flinch.
But heās not just Jimmy Fordās son. Heās a literal altar boy. He has friends, he has people he cares about, he has things he realizes are more important that just what his father taught him, what his father can get away with.
Somewhere, somewhen, somehow, he learned the difference between righteous and self-righteous, and he wants, oh how he wants, to be the former. He wants to be better, he wants to do better, he wants to be righteous and moral and upstanding and make the world a better place.
(He wants to leave his father in the dirt where he belongs, heās going to walk away and never look back.)
Heās been taught by the Jesuits how to think, and why he should, been taught about consequences and sin and responsibility and mercy and grace. (Has realized, perhaps, that he deserves better, that almost everyone he knows deserves better, and that maybe, maybe, he can get it for them.)
He learned how to think and now he canāt stop. (And heās ruthless enough to look at himself, to see where heās weak, to know exactly how someone could manipulate him, to be aware of how he manipulates himself.) Heās smart enough to look at what used to just be instinct and understand the how and the why until his skills are as finely honed as a stiletto, a sniper shot rather than a blunt instrument.
But now he canāt claim he doesnāt know exactly what heās doing, canāt ever tell himself he didnāt know better when he pushes someone just so.
The road to hell is paved with good intentions, and how badly he wants is a weakness. Heāll crave it, heāll need to do the right thing, and itāll be so easy to take the step from knowing heās the smartest man in any room to thinking heās the best. Nice is different than good (he bypasses that by never being nice, but thatās a side-issue), might does not make right, smart is not the same as wise.
That just because he can doesnāt mean that he should.
He canāt trust his own instincts, because his instincts tell him he can do anything. (Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely, he could rule the goddamned world and who would stop him? Who could? Who would know when they should?)
He goes to seminary, heās going to be a priest, heās going to let the church define his life, give him the rules, the ethics he canāt quite trust himself to hold onto on his own. (He and Paul are going to save the world together, going to be everything for their parishioners that no one ever was for them.)
But the church has too much authority, doesnāt it? Too much power, too much corruption. And heās too smart, too manipulative, (too proud of both), to ever let down his guard somewhere where heād be rewarded for how ruthless he is, for how selfish he can be, for those instincts he canāt ever trust that insist he always be in control, always hold the power in his own hands. (The damage he could do, insisting it was all for the greater good, that he knew better.)
He needs external rules to keep him in check, an outside organization that will limit his imagination, limit his potential knack for destruction, but it canāt be too structured, too recognized. He canāt go into secular politics or law enforcement. Heād have so much direct power, right there, just waiting for him to take it, because heād be so much better at it than everyone else, wouldnāt he?
But insurance. Heās still catching criminals, going after people who commit fraud, who make it harder for the people who need help to get it, can be rewarded for all his tricks, all his cleverness, but his rewards never make him a dictator over other people, they just acknowledge how smart he is.
He can be just a little scary, but he only scares people whoāve earned it. And then he can go home, to his friends and his wife and his son, can be Sam Fordās father and know that heās nothing like Jimmy Ford.
Until IYS refuses to help him, until he sees how many people theyāve refused to help to save money, until his son dies and he knows heās been working for the villains, that heās been Jimmy Fordās son for years and never even noticed.
His son dies, and itās all his fault, and heāll never not be Jimmy Fordās son again.
But. But.
Maybe. Maybe he can also still be Sam Fordās father.
Some day.
*releases pack of dads into home depot* goā¦ā¦be free
invasive species encroach on lesbian territory
This is a common misconception because theyāre such similar environments, but you should be aware that dads are native to Home Depot, while lesbians are actually native to Loweās. At this point, however, both dads and lesbians have made themselves at home in both Home Depot and Loweās to the point that trying to separate them back into their original ranges would probably do more harm than good to the delicate ecosystem of large chain hardware stores.
A properly raised and socialized Dad will be perfectly comfortable cohabiting with Lesbians. Its not reallyĀ āencroaching on anotherās territoryā. You wouldnāt say that about foxes in a forest that also homes bobcats, would you? No. Itās just two different species that have both evolved to live in similar/the same environment. As long as they recognize each other as equals, Dads and Lesbians are more than capable of cohabitation.
Now, if you were to release a pack of Lumberjacks into a Lowes or Home Depot, thatās where chaos will reign. Being adapted to a far harsher and more demanding environment, the Lumberjacks would simply push Dads and Lesbians both out and also consume far more than a sustainable amount of resources. It would be like releasing bears at a country club.
As a former timber-harvesterā¦ I feel this is potentially accurate in theory. But highly improbable in actuality.
Lumberjacks, like most megafauna species generally require more space than the average hardware store, even a big box store could provide. The misconception is that Lumberjacks are a social species because of how they often work and live together.
This is a matter of necessity, not preference, and a survival technique for thriving under the LogBoss.
A āpackā of Lumberjacks, if not under the environmental pressure of a LogBoss will naturally disperse until they each have a wide territory.
Lumberjacks rarely fight for territory.
One on one, a Lumberjack could drive out a Dad or Lesbian, however the latter tend to travel in social packs.
Lumberjacks will passively retreat on the presence of large numbers of people. Kind of like Sasquatch.
Getting a āpackā of Lumberjacks assembled would be hard enough unless they were forced into a Hardware Store by a LogBoss. In that case, they would already be in a heightened and potentially agitated state far above their natural behavior. This artificial scenario can be likened to a circus animal running amok. If it had been in the wild, the incident would not have occurred.
Free-roaming Lumberjacks are the cryptids of the Hardware ecosystem. They are surprisingly quiet and unobtrusive.
Please stop labeling Lumberjacks as dangerous roving social predators. They are intermediate level omnivores and remarkably peaceful unless threatened.
As a hardware store worker I can say that this is all 100% accurate.
now how in the FUCK am i supposed to leave tumblr when a god tier post like THIS is just is just waiting for me daily?!?!?!
question where does theĀ āart studentā orĀ āDIYerāĀ ācrafterā or āsoap makerā or āminiaturistā etc. who has ventured into the store for supplies fall into the ecosystem/what is their impact of said ecosystem?
Most of the above are native to craft and hobby stores (art students, historically, are native to museums, but having been introduced to hobby stores, have found a niche for themselves and thrived), but all can be seen in hardware stores on occasion due to territorial overlap. They are generally low-impact, as they tend to stick to specific small areas and primarily utilize different resources.Ā While a large group of any of them can be disruptive (art students, in particular, are known to travel in packs), in general, they are more likely to have territorial disputes with one another than with the local fauna.Ā
A point of clarity -ācrafterā is a bit misleading; while it conjures a specific image, much likeĀ āfishā orĀ āreptileā it actually covers a broad array of wildly disparate species, and in general, more descriptive nomenclature is preferred. Fiber artists in particular are a genus to watch out for, particularly in groups. Beware a roving pack of domesticated quilters. They fear nothing, will go anywhere, and due to their social nature, will often seek interaction from other species that thrive best in solitude. They are quite friendly, and will happily adopt members of other species; the concern is that their adoptees do not always wish to be adopted.Ā
#in search of taxonomic precision and peaceful coexistence (via welkinalauda)
I do wonder how lesbian/bisexual lumberjack-mimickry fits into this
I can say as a former craft store worker that if you wish to see true fear, look into the eyes of a Dad who must venture into a craft store. Despite the overlap of familiar beings known to him from his native hardware store habitat, Dads are instinctively aware that craft stores are not for them; they contain unfamiliar perils and even the seemingly familiar may have strange variances and unnerving secrets. (āWhy is this airbrush so small? What do you mean nails, why would youā¦ WUT!!ā)
Only experienced silverbacks or the boldest young Dads dare venture into a craft store for long without his mate or offspring to keep roving Craft Ladies at bay and guide him in this strange ecosystem. If a Dad enters with his mate and is separated from her, he will often scuttle for the seeming familiarity of Woodcrafts, Models, or Paints (the latter not to be confused with Fine Arts, unquestioned territory of art students), but he eyes Scrapbooking and Jewelry with trepidation and will usually venture into those exotic areas only in the company of females of his pack.
Lumberjacks are rarely spotted entering craft stores of their own volition, for while they do not fear it as Dads do, they know it is an environment unsuited for megafauna such as themselves.
Hardware store Lesbians generally adapt more easily to craft stores, although they may enlist another Lesbian of a subspecies more adapted to that environment to guide them until they find their niche. Lesbians have even been known to seek the aid of a Craft Lady, a native fauna that share similarities with Lesbians but are usually smaller and nimbler to suit their chosen habitat. Dads who witness this are often awed by the Lesbiansā temerity, for although larger, Dads are generally wary of the cunning and dexterous Craft Ladies and may mistake their enthusiastic pack greetings as predatory swarming.
Craft Ladies, secure in their ecological niche, have no fear of interlopers and take the presence of non-native beings in stride, although they may become territorial about scarcer resources.
The only truly invasive species that threaten craft stores are Brides-to-Be, who are mere annoyances individually, but like locusts may descend in hordes and lay waste, leaving swathes of destruction in their wake. Fortunately for the Craft Ladies, Brides-to-Be are seasonal and usually only a threat in the spring and early summer.
It Got Better
Is anybody going to address the newly invasive species of BuJo enthusiasts into the craft store/art supply store environment? Why arenāt we talking about the dangerous proliferation of Leuchtturm 1917s and the growing threat of Dotted Moleskins? I had to liberate a Dad from a tangle of washi tape in the art supply store the other day and it wasnāt pretty.
The natural habitat of journalers was stationary stores, which have been replaced by office supplies stores, not the same. Journalers invade the craft stores and art supplies stores to get the markers and washi tape and Sakura pens they require for survival.
@great-art-and-a-purple-tongue @onbearfeet THE LORE HAS BEEN UPDATED.
VERY IMPORTANT AND ENTIRELY ACCURATE now excuse me I gotta hit Lowes and Michaels.
Another thing to note is all of those habitats must adapt to the seasonal migration of goths. As soon as the faintest hint of spooky can be detected at those stores, goths will arrive in packs. A small pack of goths determined to forage can strip the shelves of a seasonal section bare in 30 minutes.
Too important not to reblog
I for one stand in fascinated trepidation to see how the major habitat destruction wrought by the loss of JoAnn Fabric will impact the greater ecosystem.
SCAdians can often be found in any of these environments, and while they do not necessarily travel in packs outside their native lekking grounds, they are gregarious and are not in fact one species but a colony of cordyceps-symbiotic Crafters, Goths, Dads, Lesbians, Cosplayers, etc. that are directed by the cordyceps inhabiting them to find others to pull into the āSocietyā. This particular symbiotic fungi, c. recreatoris, causes hosts to behave similarly to Historical Re-enactors, but SCAdians tend to create their own internally consistent timeline of events taking place in a shared world, whereas Re-enactors are a species of Museum animal.
