another way to chase infinity

If you find the gatorinator post on a platform that isn't tumblr, you can cause me mental pain just by telling me! "For poor ornery people like you and like I" If you have no content on your page I will assume you are a bot (derogatory) and treat you as such.

[mlerpwonders]

[exxos-von-steamboldt]

[delicatefury]

I just googled this and… yes, it’s absolutely real.

And there are so many articles and videos and discussions. Like, the scientific community is buzzing about this.

So much research will have to be redone because the data was absolutely compromised, off by orders of magnitude, by using standard lab gloves.

The world is probably not horrifically contaminated by microplastics. Sterile laboratories, however, are contaminated by latex and nitrile gloves.

Thank God someone bothered to check.

[theunfairfolk]

in elementary school i figured out how to customize the classroom desktop's autocorrect to make Word change whole sentences. this made it appear almost like the computer was responding to you. you could, for example, type in "where did i put my keys", hit enter, and watch it switch to "you put them under the couch". this was before chatbots, and we were all 9 so i considered it closer to a magic trick than a tech one.

i immediately scripted out a dialogue exchange between me and a girl who had died by the swings (classic). i invited another student over and told them i had found a ghost, then proceeded to type out the pre-scripted exchange. i was immediately pulled into the counselors office. the kicker was that none of the adults could figure out how i did it. i had to show them the menu and everything.

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

I do also think that many problems and frustrations in Henry Spencer's life could have been solved or at least lessened if he had put Shawn in a theater class or improv club as a kid

[909th]

if you fall from grace enough times eventually you’ll get really good at sticking the landing

[is-the-battlemech-cool-or-not]

— Rasalhague Dominion, c. 3151

[gargoylegf]

God has given mankind the wisdom and creativity to create instant ramen.

Give praise unto the Lord for he is good, and his mercy endureth forever!

[abalidoth]

guys check it out I'm gonna evaluate the limit of this rational function

[abalidoth]

l'hôpital

[prokopetz]

One of my favourite bits of media history trivia is that back in the Elizabethan period, people used to publish unauthorised copies of plays by sending someone who was good with shorthand to discretely write down all of the play's dialogue while they watched it, then reconstructing the play by combining those notes with audience interviews to recover the stage directions; in some cases, these unauthorised copies are the only record of a given play that survives to the present day. It's one of my favourites for two reasons:

It demonstrates that piracy has always lay at the heart of media preservation; and

Imagine being the 1603 equivalent of the guy with the cell phone camera in the movie theatre, furtively scribbling down notes in a little book and hoping Shakespeare himself doesn't catch you.

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

Thou wouldst not downloadeth a car

[astrangergivingthestrangewelcome]

I will never understand how normalized it is to put cameras in your home now. I can recognize some scenarios where it makes sense- if I had a stalker for example, but like. It would have to be That Big for me to consider it. People today use it to tell their kids it's time to stop playing video games and do homework like. Like?? I do not understand how you don't understand how harmful it is to raise kids with the sense they're always being watched like why does anyone under normal circumstances invite this into their home

[wizardarchetypes]

saw a video recently, recorded by a camera in a child's bedroom, of a toddler reading her favorite book after bed time. her mom went in and told her it was time to sleep, and she said, 'but i just love reading so much.' her mom laughed indulgently and told her to sleep once the book was finished. she agreed, but before the video ended, she said, 'you're so silly for watching me!'

she was smiling when she said it, but i found that one sentence so abysmal. that toddler knew her mom didn't just happen to come and check on her. she understands that there is a camera in her room by which her mom (and as far as she might comprehend, any adult) can access her in her private space, in her private time, at all times.

can you imagine? never on your own. can't sleep? too bad. you're a child and the grown ups are watching you. lie in bed in the dark. pretend to sleep. behave.

it's 10 pm and the rest of the house is enjoying winding down after a long day. your parents don't need to worry about putting on a professional face like they do at work. your older siblings get to be themselves instead of who they have to be at school. everyone gets to relax. but not you.

it's 10 pm, and you're three years old, and you must continue to do everything right, because they are watching you.

oh, and when you don't behave, if it's cute enough, your mother will post footage of you in your bedroom for millions of strangers to watch!

[addamatic]

I know people who literally left abusive spouses for putting cameras in the house to watch them. And now that’s just like … normal? Used to be something you could get a restraining order because of it.

[bo0zey]

 i tried to be funny and it backfired miserably

[bo0zey]

it’s 2014 it’s time we moved on as a nation and stop reblogging this

[bo0zey]

every person who reblogs this in 2015 is gonna get their ass kicked by yours truly

[stealingpotatoes]

very very successful fabric shopping trip! (for @honey-0tu)

(links // tip jar!)

[oligy101]

My liege, if you recall, the prophecy stated that you would fall by the hands of your first born son. Yes, I understand that twelve daughters is a very impressive feat, but mayhaps you should consider quitting while you’re ahead?

[oligy101]

My liege, you mustn’t be so reckless. If you recall, your prophecy stated “you shall not die by any efforts of man or woman, nor of any material from this land”, and it feels rather pertinent to your most recent decision. Please consider the situation with your father and your brother, and to a lesser extent your 32 younger sisters, and know your prophecy is not one to be neglected. Your father tempted fate and look where that got him. Yes my liege, I do know it was a heart attack that he passed from, but the royal guard directly saw your baby brother reach out towards your father with his hands as he passed. Yes, I know the prophecy would be better stated to say “beside the hand” rather than “by the hand”, I didn’t write the prophecy. No my liege, I mean no disrespect. Yes, I agree, this was a very inappropriate time to discuss your father, and we should go back to the issue at hand. Yes, I do recall that no man or woman may slay you, however, if you think about the prophecy with the context of your newly imported elephant,

[oligy101]

My liege, this is hardly the appropriate attire for a hunting trip, especially one to the woods you were forbade from entering. Yes your majesty, I know you are ruler of this kingdom, but if you recall your prophecy- you mock me. I take your safety and fate with the upmost sincerity, and you respond with “mi mi mi mimi”? Please recall your- yes I know what your prophecy states, “your reign shall last until nature itself regains your throne and crown”, I was about to recount it for you. Look my liege, I think this hunting trip is a terrible idea. You are far too clumsy and the forest floor is uneven with roots! If the stairs of the palace or your own feet are enough to cause you to trip, remaining upright may be difficult, and, to put it frankly, falling hitting your head on a rock would hardly a glorious engraving on your tombstone. Please don’t wear the crown on this hunting trip, they’ll know you’re the new queen because of how similar you look to your sister. It’s a prideful act that will only- oh the royal messenger is here. What news do you have? Oh this requires my immediate attention. I will return, my liege. Do not attend that hunting trip in your current attire, though you should consider not going at all.

[oligy101]

Royal To-Do List

Schedule date of coronation

Organise a trip to the Royal Soothsayer with the new Queen

Search forest for the crown

Purchase a new throne, or locate the stolen one

Fix elephant-shaped hole in the throne room

[oligy101]

Now, as a part of the induction protocols, all new employees are to be informed of a long-held family tradition. When each new ruler comes to power, they receive a letter a few days later from the old soothsayer. Yes, the one who lives in the woods, we paid for them to live there. Thought it would be a good way to avoid receiving more prophecies, as she wouldn’t receive notice of the coronation until afterwards, but now they just get sent in the mail. We used to add in 15 minutes leeway to the schedule for when the soothsayer interrupted the event, it was a nightmare to try and predict when they’d show up. If it were up to me, we’d stop the postal service going that far, but only the Queen can make that ruling. I’m getting sidetracked. As I recall, the Queen’s prophecy states “your heart will bleed when the man who could never love you distances himself, his aim not one intending to hurt you, yet he will be your demise”. In order to circumvent this, she is not allowed to take a hand in marriage, and any casual romances are monitored to ensure attraction is present from both parties. Furthermore, suitors are not informed of the Queen’s status as royalty, further preventing anyone attempting to woo her for wealth or political status. She’s also elected to take on many hobbies to fill her time, to focus less on any romantic endeavours. It’s a good system, if a little difficult to source new hobbies on short notice. Oh, yes, please voice your concerns. It’s always a good sign when new employees take the Queen’s prophecy seriously.

Well yes, this is why we hired you. She’s been interested in archery as a hobby recently, and we can’t exactly send somewhere accessible to the general public. What if she falls for someone outside of our control? No, it’s much safer to hire you as her private archery instructor. And I presume she’ll learn quickly, not every archery instructor considers himself an “arrow ace”.

[oligy101]

My liege, I’ve been reviewing some of the royal funding and budgetary records, and a few things have come to my attention. Now, I understand that we have surplus funding in the royal vault as a result of your prophecy, which, if you recall, states that “you will die by a blade not intended for battle, but one that will find it’s way to you in a moment of joy”. I stand by it being a wise decision to keep you away from any activities such as woodworking or cooking, and that the money that would have gone into funding those activities was yours to allocate as you wished, but I suspect I’ve found some errors on the records. Firstly, we have two categories of payments going to the soothsayer; one for living expenses, and one, as I have just discovered, labeled “prophecies”. I suspect that- I beg your pardon my liege? We pay for the prophecies? Why on earth- We’re paying them to not deliver us prophecies, that’s why they live out on the far end of the woods. This doesn’t- Tradition? I understand it’s a tradition my liege, but if we are paying for it to be inconvenient to deliver prophecies, and then paying for the prophecies themselves- Is that why your sister wished to go to the soothsayer in person rather than wait for a letter? She was aware of this? And the rest of your sisters too? My liege, surely you see that it undermines our efforts in preventing prophecies to pay for them. At the very least, one of the payments should be discontinued to improve our financial status. You’re right my liege, this is a very complex discussion that requires more time to process, and I shall “shut up about the soothsayer” as you so eloquently put it. We will be discussing this later. The other issue I came to inquire about was that within the records for the entertainment budget, each performance is listed by name. I once again would like to reiterate that the extra funding for entertainment, while not aligning with my recommendations, is reasonable given the circumstances of your prophecy. However, once again with considerations to your prophecy, “Pablo the Knife-Juggler”,

[oligy101]

My liege, I’m beginning to understand why you have called me to the castle rooftop. As your most trusted advisor, overseeing your actions and assisting with difficult choices is why I have been employed under your family for so long. However, one key aspect of my services that has remained fairly neglected by your sisters, and your father, is that of your prophecy. Often advice regarding your prophecies leads directly to the passing of the crown, and I believe this to be a critical moment in your rule. You had a much simpler prophecy than most of your sisters, but the vagueness that comes with that should really indicate where to place your trust in me, and the rooftop seems to be that very place. If you recall, your prophecy stated that “Pride shall be your downfall”, which- No my liege, I believe that you can do a kick-flip,

[oligy101]

My liege, I am incredibly concerned about the prophecy you have received. Usually it takes a week or two to come in the mail, but not a day had passed since your coronation before the wax seal of the soothsayer arrived at the palace doors. I have spent the past few hours contemplating what should be implemented considering its slightly paradoxical nature. As you recall, your prophecy states that “in a time of unmatched uncertainty, the one you entrust the most shall betray you”. I have been the royal advisor for your family since your father’s rule, a well trusted and respected figure by many who came before you, and I shall do everything within my power to prevent a potential betrayal, regardless of how the prophecy speaks of me. As such, having worked for your father and under all of your sisters that ruled before you, I feel I have accumulated enough sick leave,

[oligy101]

Thank you all for attending the all-staff meeting. We have several topics to discuss today, so we’ll begin post-haste. Firstly, I’d like to address the royal elephant in the room. We still have no idea where the royal elephant is, and may have to cut back on searching due to budget cuts, which leads us to our next point, the metaphorical elephant in the room. With our last Queen’s untimely death we’ve made significant progress on finding what was the cause of her death. Based on the fact she died at her one-year ruling anniversary banquet, and her prophecy, which if you all recall stated that “rended flesh for naught but greed shall end in rended flesh”, we believed that it likely something about the food killed her. We had checked for choking hazards and tested others for poison and had found no clues, so our thought process was that her body was unable to tolerate something resulting in her demise. This is where the budget cuts come into place.

We hired a mage.

Settle down. I understand this is a controversial decision, but the benefits have already begun to reveal themselves. While the mage is unable to detect ailments on a corpse, several of the princesses have all shared an ailment referred to as a “shellfish allergy”. While it is unclear what allergy means, it sounds detrimental, and the mage clarified that it is deadly if not handled. As lobster was served at that banquet, that is likely the culprit, and as such shall be removed from the palace’s future supply orders, preventing future queens from following her path. Staff members will be allowed access to the current stock until we run out, so I hope a nice lobster dinner will quell your fears.

Now, some of you have likely been worried about this decision in relation to the current Queen’s prophecy. We have made sure to screen this mage as thoroughly as possible, and have concluded that he is, in fact, a mage. Not a swindler nor soothsayer, not a wizard nor fae. We have determined his status as a mage. This is of great importance to us, as I would not like to be responsible for the passings of any more rulers. I will admit that taking a month off right at the start of a new reign was not my finest decision, but that’s not relevant at the moment. What is relevant is the new queen’s prophecy, which should be easy to recall given how short the letter was. As you should recall, the prophecy stated “Wizard’s curse”, but as this is not a Wizard, we have no cause for concern. Now, as a mage is very costly, the budgetary restrictions over the next month will be implemented across the following areas…

[oligy101]

He lied on his resume

[oligy101]

My liege, a letter has just arrived from the royal soothsayer. It is likely regarding your prophecy. I shall read it verbatim for you. *Ahem*. “You shall die underfoot of an animal trained for war.” Ah. It appears this letter was intended for your dearly departed sister. Had this letter arrived three days earlier, her rule may have lasted more than a week. It would have been very helpful in preventing her horse-riding accident. My apologies my liege, I know you were looking forward to hearing your prophecy, and I am truely sorry to disappoint. I shall alert you when it arrives. Thank you for your attention, you may return to caring for the royal hounds.

[oligy101]

I would like to thank you all for attending this all staff meeting on such short notice. We are here to discuss the events regarding the passing of the most recent Queen. It appears I have neglected that horses are not the only animal trained for war, that animal related incidents may occur to more than one queen, and that the soothsayer is, in fact, a soothsayer. In related news, we have located the royal elephant.

[catpda]

how can ppl say cats dont have feelings like. 

when my cat got deadly sick she refused to eat a single thing and it had been days but when i started crying she ate just a little bit, and upon seeing how happy it made me, kept doing it whenever she could.

now whenever im sad or crying she finds wherever i am with a mouthful of food and eats the pieces one by one, every time looking up at me making sure i was watching her eat it all because she knew it made me happy. and it DOES make me happy

i love cats!!! 

[catpda]

im so glad my little Foofy has touched everyone’s hearts… she luvs you all

[imoriginalvisual]

Luke Skywalker in The Mandalorian but it’s Toxic by Britney Spears

[gallusrostromegalus]

I’m gonna propose something: if your combat/ass-kicking sequence can’t fit to a top 40 female-vocalist Banger like “Toxic” or “Mama Mia” or “I Need a Hero” you’re not Doing It Right.

[fatsexybitch]

At this point its starting to feel like Editors are using 140-150bpm as a standard for action sequences, and I cant say I hate it.

[homestuckphobia]

I agree wholeheartedly with every point above but I watched this first with the sound off because I forgot that was an option and what struck me most is how efficient Luke's lightsaber style is. Almost every flourish he makes and all of what, 2 entire spins?, is defensive to better parry blaster fire while nearly every offensive swing he makes is basically a head or chest level kill shot. If I had to make a guess about his character I'd say this vintage twink has probably Seen Some Shit and maybe comes from a background where resources are scarce and help is far away so if you get in a fight you have to end it before it starts or you're dead meat

[screamting]

deeply want a time travel fic where Luke visits the old republic and the Jedi are like “that’s not a dueling style” and luke is like “yea am not doing much dueling tbh”

[mycotrophicghost]

Well I was on the internet as a child too and I dont think children should be on the internet at all. They should be outside. Bringing back free range childhood is the only way. Parents need to talk to each other and create new norms. Legislation needs to be passed to make sure there are robust community spaces for kids to hang out in every community as an alternative to letting them online. Any internet access should be on sites equivalent to webkinz and club penguin and should be done for limited time periods on a desktop in a family room where the parents can know what's going on. Anything more than that before like 16 should get the parent shamed, it should not be socially acceptable.

[tranarchist]

I love this because like 99% of this kind of paleoart is patriarchal Man the Hunter type fantasies but these guys are just like “fuck it we’re outta here”

[musiclovingmoth]

we have not changed.

[bigmickswingin]

The Flight Before The Mammoth. Paul Jamin. 1885

Behind The Scenes Of National Geographic. Teodor Vladimorov, Brandon Smith. 2011. read more