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Ass So Juicy You’ll Wanna Eat It With A Lifeguard™

[colonelampersanders]

A sure sign of the Antichrist is that he turns wine into Dasani

[colonelampersanders]

Feels like I woke up on the wrong side of a shapeless and eternal bed

[colonelampersanders]

Shark they/lava them

[dogpuppy]

[venusswasaboy]

I quote this and laugh to myself very, very often.

[dogpuppy]

[the-ghost-king]

a new kind of guy where he moans a lot but he's actually just getting comfy in bed

[the-ghost-king]

he snuggles down into his blankets a little more securely and it's like he's just had an orgasm

[the-ghost-king]

"mmm yeah just like that sooo good" but he's literally done nothing but roll over and find the cool spot on his pillow

[kitsune-kaos]

“New”??? Bitch I been here 24 years now

[rootingformephistopheles]

I feel it would be good to have a word that's like not ragebait but shamebait, where you can read a post and just go 'ah, this person just wants me to feel ashamed of myself and is not engaging with the issue in a constructive or useful way. I do not have to participate in this actually' and like. move on with your day

[dogpuppy]

[comradetork]

i was playing b52s at work and this old guy i was ringing up goes "this band was out to friggin lunch"

[technofinch]

I have GOT to stop spending $30

[jewfrogs]

falling asleep during the day: slipping away on a clouds so easy

falling asleep at night: I heard an ant gasp downstairs

[innerchildabortionclinic]

this is how all high protein dessert vids look to me

[colonelampersanders]

I just realized I’ve never returned an item. I just buy it and if it works it works and I don’t want to think about the rest

[lisbonmetro]

Lumiar metro station, Lisbon.

[sloppystyle]

[tall]