Laur 💞 @comae-astraeus - Tumblr Blog

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awkwardzenitsu

i see no difference here

iszm

12 year old me would have left eveything behind for Season 3 Zuko. 21 year old me still would.

pukotort

/ko-fi commission info/

faxxot

DEJA VU! I’ve been beaten this way before! (sealing off my flames) And I end up losing once more!

viilocitee

THE ALMOND

Sorry not sorry

traitoruraraka

I make a lot of Tobin memes but this one I’m particularly proud of so here

vwyn19

lukas said it’s my turn to lead the deliverance.

fireemblem3h-incorrectquotes

Hilda: So here's the tea.

Lysithea: It's called a mission report.

Hilda: Look, do you want the tea or not?

theshinykyukon

The real MVP’s in all the Fire Emblem games are the horses doing all those flips and shit.

rubyshortcakez

No one:

Pukin: What did thou just dare to say about me, you foul heathen? I'll give thou the knowledge that I am a fine general, and I've been involved in numerous raid upon thou's despicable race, and I have over 300 deceased heathens tied to my devine name. Thou is nothing to me but just another foul pawn in the way. I will get rid of thou to the point that has never been seen before on this here planet, mark my works. Does thou think one can get away with saying such rude and degrading thinks about I? Thou should Think again. As we speak to eachother, i am contacting my secret weapon so thou have better be prepared and ready for the beast that will soon arrive. That same beast will wipe thou's pathetic existence away from this here planet. Thou has no chance of surviving. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill thou with just a flick of my devine wrist. Not only am I increasingly well taught in combat, but I have access to an army of people who bow down to my simple name and will do anything i tell them to. If only thou could have known what cursed and painful fate awaits thou. Because of thou's ever so clever comment,a great amount of pain is going to be brought down upon thou. maybe if thou knew of this fate, thou would've held the tounge that spoke so lowly of me. However, thou didn't, and now thou will face the wrath of the great General Pukin. I will destroy thou's life and future. You're guaranteed to be deceased soon, Heathen

hamtastrophe

it’s sometimes hard to believe rasputin was real. like there’s no non-fucked up part of rasputin’s existence

bigthecat

did he do something problematic i thought he was just russia’s greatest love machine

the-itchy-bitchy-spider

basic (true) story: fanatical russian monk who has almost never shaved or washed and smells like goats shows up at the russian capital with a creepy look on his beardy face and everyone just assumes he’s a prophet or a saint because he’s got a cult following that believes he can cure illnesses. his stans are sexually obsessed with him and he gets just a fuckton of russian pussy wherever he goes cause apparently he can cure his true believers of illness with god-given dick magic. russia’s queen has him come stay at the palace and sets him up in luxury because she thinks he can cure her son’s haemophilia with the power of russian goat jesus, and they (allegedly) become lovers, probably, ‘cause she craves that unwashed goat-scented dick like the rest of his cult which she now (allegedly) belongs to.

then the worst assassins in the history of assassinations try to assassinate him, because all of russia is slutshaming the queen he has too much power over the royal family and it’s helping revolutionaries turn people against the royals. so these idiots have him round for tea and cakes which are poisoned with cyanide, but he is magically unaffected by poison they get the dose wrong and he doesn’t die, and then he drinks three glasses of wine, which are also poisoned, and he doesn’t die, so they tell him to look at a crucifix and shoot him in the chest with a revolver when he isn’t looking, and he doesn’t die, but they think he’s dead so one of them dresses in his clothes and gets driven to his apartment to make it look like he’s gone home to hide the crime, and when they come back he gets up and attacks them, so they stab him in the side with a knife, and he doesn’t die, and then he frees himself and runs outside, so they shoot him a few times more, including in the forehead, and they wrap his body up and chuck him in the icy river, and he doesn’t go into the water, so his body is found on the ice the next day. and get this…. he died…. of hypothermia.

tyrannosaurus-rex

additionally, everyone who wasnt in the party of getting rid of rasputin was pretty bummed out when they found him and his miracle dick dead the next day and there was a pretty bangin funeral of which the royal family themselves attended. however after the tsar was overthrown a few month later they exhumed his body and burned it because the new leadership was very adamant about making sure there were no ties left to honor the old monarchy. however this dudes body had never been properly prepped for a cremation which meant that under the extreme heat his tendons and ligaments began to retract and shrink causing his dead body to move and twitch around as if still animate. according to some testimony his body actually sat up straight on the pyre, and at least one spectator fired a gun at the body and another may have allegedly died of shock.