https://www.tumblr.com/indiaalphawhiskey/819617155655106560/i-think-you-are-one-of-the-few-people-here-that?source=share
The words here sound gracious and kind but there's an undercurrent I notice a lot in fandom spaces — a quiet hierarchy where loving an artist the 'right' way becomes a form of exclusion, even when it's dressed up as generosity. The 'I feel sad for people who don't get him' framing is a good example. It sounds like patience but it positions the writer above everyone else by default. I don't think you're doing this consciously, which is maybe worth sitting with.
I’m entertaining this because I’m curious if you understand what we’re talking about when we say we’re loving Harry ‘the right way’. You can criticize internal hierarchy in fandom all you want, but do you know why there is hierarchy in this particular fandom? Why there is a level of exclusion?
It’s not because we believe that being a fan is some tiered experience you earn over time that only long-term ‘true’ fans can give you access to. It’s not because we’re here to gatekeep (God, half of us can’t stop yelling it into the void just to see if it takes.)
It’s because Harry’s closeted, love. And knowing that single nuance does change the way you interact with him and his art entirely. There is a right way to love him: you first have to actually see him. There is a right lens with which to view his art (a queer, closeted lens), a right way to read his queer signaling (not queerbaiting), a right way to understand that his PR stunts are not solely to keep him in the public eye but also to control him and, depending on how far you believe, control his partner.
When people don’t love Harry this way, they exclude themselves because it changes his motivation for everything. Dramatically. His love songs become markers for his numerous flings — a discography of fuck boy lyrics. His signaling gets twisted into something he does to be ‘mysterious and interesting’. His pap walk and stunts are to keep him top of mind, because he has too much of an ego to let himself disappear.
So, yeah, you read my tone correctly, so let me be clear: I do position myself as above the people who don’t understand, and even more so those that don’t want to understand. Ten toes down. Understanding Harry has made me better — a better consumer, a better creative, a better friend, a better fan of him specifically, if not in general, better at understanding myself, better at media literacy, the list goes on.
But like I said in my third point, that’s not because I’m smarter or different. It’s because the fandom allowed me time to figure it out — which is what I asked people to be generous about. I’m not here to gatekeep, but I’m also not here to recruit. I believe people who want to love him, who have a genuine interest in his person, will eventually get there without my help.
Which begs the question: why were you so affected by my thoughts and my tone that you had to leave me a pseudo-benevolent message you didn’t feel brave enough to put your name on? Did the hit dog holler? I don’t think you’re doing this consciously, which is maybe worth sitting with.
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