Price of self-delusion

Wanna hear what's stupid? Somewhere, in a one-room apartment on Boogie Street, a man is showing Patrol Officer Tillbrook his genital warts, asking if they're *cancer*. His partner, Émile Mollins, can't be there. He's in another apartment with another man, who is showing him a dead dog under a radiator. "It's dead," Mollins says. "No," the man replies, "I touched him. He's warm." "He's warm," Mollins replies, "because he's under the radiator."

[dogpuppy]

[loveridden1999]

what if it all worked out in my favour

[cominy-kiwami]

i was playing quiplash with some friends of mine last night and i finally made a connection about something ive been doing for a while. whenever i have to fill in a blank where its dialogue or like somebody saying something, and i dont immediately have an intentional joke in mind, the automatic thing that comes to mind is "where am i... its so dark in here..."

and ive never really thought about it, but now that i realize that thats literally my default dialogue line, its like what the fuck is that dude thats weird as hell

[lokaror]

They used idiot ore to forge u bro

[kommunistkaitou]

I like this sign . They could have named the square after him without this exposition but it was really important that everyone know his death was mundane and pointless and due to his compatriots own incompetence

[3000s]

[cominy-kiwami]

when i worked in the cemetery a couple years back i was doing pretty bad mentally and then one day i was mowing the lawns and i saw a dead possum on the lawn between some graves, and the sight of it with its weirdly conflict-filled face and mussed up fur made such an impression on me i wrote a poem about it which i never do. and earlier today i received some really bad news and i was reflecting on my failures and feeling really down in the dumps and what should i see by the side of the sidewalk but a dead possum in the grass. isnt that some shit right there

[klaasje]

really good text from my sister in law

[crabs-and-bedbugs]

[woolandflax]

[pangur-and-grim]

my house is scary at night

[storyweavingspider]

Interpreted this initially not as shelves, but as your cat having erected defensive fortifications

[bearie]

so cool when i say hi to a cat and they do a big stretch like i dont think that has anything to do with the words i just said to you i said but i think its awesome that you got long

[kushblazer666]

[nitrobishop]

[cominy-kiwami]

im getting the same feeling from argentina as i do from the dodgers. when they scored in the 85th minute i got a flashback to the dead ball in game 6 and my stomach sank. it was so visceral to be there in downtown toronto when the jays lost and everyone was destroyed

[cominy-kiwami]

its a sickly shade of orange-brown out here it literally looks how they portray mexico in breaking bad. and its REALLY quiet. #unsettled

[larval-tear]

let’s deprive me of everything and see what happens

[beadyeyes]

Tell me why Portland refuses to establish some orc outposts?

[bippus]

What's your deal with uncles and nephews