[trapny]

Isekai except the fantasy world is literally just like a ten minute hike away from everything else and has just explicitly never been found.

[trapny]

The protagonist gets hit by a truck but instead of dying they roll down a comically tall hill through like a mile of woods and then they wake up in a fantasy village

[ryanphantom]

undertale

[yesterdaysprint]

Binghamton Press, New York, September 8, 1948

[danhoemei]

My friends who just got their first glasses: i need this highly expensive special cloth to wipe them, I also have this eyeglass cleaner from the same company, did you know you shouldn't use your t shirt unless it's specifically soft

Me who's worn glasses since middle school: *slaps soap onto the glasses and washes them in the sink then wipes them with toilet paper* what

[danhoemei]

Did I stutter

[danhoemei]

No

[danhoemei]

Mah men

[danhoemei]

Our ranks are getting stronger

[annalyticall]

[dante-heller]

[danhoemei]

okay this one wins, everyone go home

[gorbling]

Im enjoying the longevity of tumblrs recontextualization style of humor. a seemingly innocuous post followed by like "posts that a gnome would make" or like "are you a phone"

[gorbling]

[hapalopus]

[sour-charity]

[varijacija]

[concernedhobbit]

ughhhh I want to have a tumblr because all other social media is bad. and I want to keep this tumblr for the nostalgia. but I do not want to spend 14 hours weeding through everyone following me for bots and unfollowing blogs that used to be normal but are now Catholic?

[ithelpstodream]

“You might think that your hair looks pretty fly, but chances are it’s nothing compared to the Amasunzu. It’s a traditionally Rwandan hairstyle that was once worn by men, as well as by unmarried women in order to indicate to potential suitors that they were single and of marriageable age.”

[thank-you-based-bear]

This cat looks like a very old and wise spirit of the forest :3

[smitethestate]

Wasn’t think cat in The Labyrinth?

[badacts]

this cat looks like a bad cgi cat from a live action remake of a disney film

[magicalgirlmascot]

I had a dream about a version of Snow White where she’s actually like 12 and the dwarves basically adopted her it was basically Snow White and Her 7 Short Dads

When she got poisoned by the Queen the dwarves all gave her one last kiss on the forehead to say goodbye before her funeral and that was the true love’s kiss she needed to wake up, because her dads all loved her very much

Anyway Snow White is public domain so there’s literally nothing stopping me from publishing this

[cryptids-and-muses]

This is the best enterpritation of Snow White I’ve ever heard next to the vampire one.

[miniangel]

NSNNSJSNSKSKZKOS

[programmerhumour]

[acquiredalias]

[oceaniccunt-deactivated20190622]

[makilikesflowers]

An angel

[mielparaoshun]

Wtf bats swim

[zooophagous]

Omfg

[paddysnuffles]

Here’s another little-known bat fact:

Orphaned baby bats are often swaddled tightly like teeny burritos to mimic being cuddled by mom and help ease separation anxiety.

They also seem to find pacifiers soothing.

I’m pretty sure I’ve posted on this before, but there’s always someone who hasn’t heard about this before. Plus, I’ll happily take any excuse I can to post cute baby animal pics (especially when they’re wrapped like tiny furry burritos) :)

[finkspiration]

wow bats are very good

[streetkit]

@beelzbat

[faithpupy]

@harleygettinsnarley

[regularlesbian]

@jessandhernewsillyblog

[dying-poet-deactivated20200804]

who else just wants to go absolutely wild and bake some cookies with a pretty girl?? go nuclear and make some tea?? absolutely lose their fucking mind and curl up under a blanket??

[gyaruundertaker-deactivated2020]

[i-hate-chick-fil-a]

In this economy, the janitor might have a damn degree.

[m00nba3]

Let’s dead the idea that service workers don’t have degrees either

[harrygodzilla]

Lets dead the idea that a job that requires a degree makes you better than someone whose job doesn’t require one.

[weirdpostarchive-deactivated201]

i am a simple man. i search for warmth and tiny spaces to curl up in

[weirdpostarchive-deactivated201]

i like to have my head petted also

[marmorbun]

I diagnose you with cat

[weirdpostarchive-deactivated201]

all of us would curl up in a shoe box if we were able to.

[dracofidus-deactivated20200523]

Needless to say, I am HORRIFIED.

[thecottageinthedark]

‘All that you need to know about boars can be summed up in the fact that if you wish to hunt them, you must have a specially made boar spear. This spear has a crosspiece on it to prevent the boar from charging the length of the spear, driving it all the way through his own body, to savage the human holding the other end.’

-Boar and Apples, T. Kingfisher

[dracofidus-deactivated20200523]

fuck OFF

[palindromordnilap-deactivated20]

Note that pigs are also HUGE. So, yes, they ARE slightly larger pigs.

[dracofidus-deactivated20200523]

So I grew up in the city and have never seen a pig in real life and I just googled it and WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS

I thought they were like labrador sized, like, fat labradors, not mini-cows.

[tokensouthernbelle]

every time I see this post there are more people discovering how fuck off huge pigs actually are and I love it I thought this was a thing everyone knew but clearly not and I’m laughing 

[stillwaterseas]

This is me with our Tamworth boar, a heritage breed closer to their wild cousins than the Yorkshire above. I am a fully grown, average sized human. He was a gentle sweetie who, sadly, is no longer with us. His name was Mr. Big. 

[dracofidus-deactivated20200523]

FUCK OFF

[coelasquid]

Forever laffin’ at people who don’t understand how enormous, terrifying, and tenacious wild boar are. 

They’re like if bears had knives protruding from their closed mouths and Didn’t Know When To Quit. Their survival instincts when they’re wounded aren’t “run away and minimize injury” it’s “take the thing that hurt you down with you” They also make sounds like someone crossed a pig with an alligator.

Their head and neck alone can be like the size of an entire human torso.

Also forever laffin’ at people who think pigs are tiny, ‘cause we designed those things can get in the neighbourhood of a thousand pounds in ideal circumstances. 

It’s like when people assume Tuna must be small because they’ve only ever experienced them in hockey puck form.

[obstinate-nocturna]

Like seriously why the fuck y'all think everyone FREAKED THE HELL OUT when Dorothy fell into the pig pen in Wizard of Oz? It’s because pigs are HUGE and weigh a shitton and would crush her in an instant.

[proserpine-in-phases]

also dont they eat like, basically anything?

[justabrowncoatedwench]

YUP. Pigs will eat people, if given the chance. They dgaf.

[wolverinequeen]

That’s why boar hunters use a team of very tenacious dogs to hold the boar so they can be speared without fucking you up. The dogs wear body armour. 

I’ve heard stories of people shooting boars, and if it didn’t kill them, it just pissed them off. 

[andthentheywilleatthestars]

how the hell did we ever domesticate these things?

[petermorwood]

…“how the hell did we ever domesticate these things?”

Very carefully, I would imagine.

WIld boar babies are rather cute, like living humbugs…

…but the adults and their ferocity have been associated with warriors for thousands of years, from Mycenaean Greece (a helmet made from sections of boar tusk)…

…through Celtic Europe (reconstructed carnyx war-horns and standards)…

…Ancient Rome (the crest of Legion 20 “Valeria Victrix”). A couple more legions also used a boar as their crest - I wonder did they squabble over which was the “right” one the way a couple of Swiss cantons had a little war over whose bear was best…?

…then Anglo-Saxon and pre-Viking helmet crests…

…right up to the late Middle Ages (here the white boar badge of Richard Duke of Gloucester, later Richard III of England)…

…and the blue boar badge of the Earl of Oxford, more usually represented by the De Vere arms, quarterly gules and or, in the first a molet argent.

After Richard was defeated at Bosworth in 1485, there was a run on blue paint as inn-signs were changed to reflect new loyalties since Oxford was on the winning side…

And pigs will definitely eat people.

It gets mentioned in the movie “Snatch”, the book/movie “Hannibal” and the webcomic “Lackadaisy Cats”, among numerous other fictional sources, and IRL it’s suspected to be the reason why numerous missing persons have stayed missing.

More here (another comment to this same OP) and here (slightly different).

Here’s some boar-hunting armour for dogs, ancient…

…and modern…

…and the modern one looks very like a simple style of ancient…

[dduane]

So when Odysseus’s old nurse recognizes him by the scar he got from the boar-tusk slash that almost killed him… now you get the resonance.

[bookoisseur]

This post…it just really went places on me.

[wilwheaton]

I hope you read this entire post, and that it made your entire day so much better, even if just for a few moments, like it did mine.

[basinke]

giant fuckoff alligator wolves

[foxyteah]

While in Sweden I was warned by the family I stayed with to be careful about not touching any fences, because apparently they’re all electrified to TRY keeping boars off properties. I was also walking the family dog each morning through the forest and was warned to turn the fuck around and walk back speedily if the dog ever stopped and just… wouldn’t budge. At all. Unless it was in the opposite direction.

Fastforward a few months to when I’m back home and hearing about the boar problem a family friend is having. I recommend electric fences, since that obviously works for Swedes. The guy tells me that won’t work for him since it’s a herd of boars, so the boars will just charge the fence enmasse, sacrifice the first few, trample over them and enter orchard to feast.

Welp.

[awed-frog]

One of the best moments of my childhood was a month I spent on a farm when I was eleven. We were about fifteen kids, ranging from ‘My family keeps chickens’ to ‘Wait, potatoes grow underground?!?’ and we helped with gardening and the animals and slept on straw and went out at night to learn about constellations. 

It was like Hogwarts, but with goats. 

One of my favourite animals there was Louise, a gigantic she-pig who lived with her daughter Hortense just behind the stables. She was like a Renaissance queen - sprawled out against the fence, enjoying the shade, and looking up at us with a distinct human expression (fed-upness bordering on open dislike). Hortense would eat kitchen waste, grunting in appreciation as soon as she saw one of us arrive with the bucket, but Louise always required nobler offerings, such as a whole apple she’d take directly from our hands.

Anyway, by the time we arrived there Louise was heavily pregnant - probably exhausted and demented with the need of creating a welcoming environment for her delivery and future babies - and she’d often bicker with Hortense (one thing I learned there is that when pigs bicker, that means they bite down and draw blood). The farmer was actually considering moving Hortense before the situation could escalate any further, and was working on a new pen as the hottest day of July dawned and Louise finally lost her God-given shit.

I don’t know how it started because I was sitting quietly in the dining hall trying to sketch a spider I’d trapped under a glass when I suddenly heard, in quick succession the unmistakeable sounds of impending doom: Hortense screaming bloody murder, some kid shouting, the catastrophic CRACK of something very sturdy breaking down, more pig noises, more human noises, and just as I was getting up, the glass door to my left shattered as a 700 lb sow crashed through it, ran right through the chairs in front of her (two splintered into matchsticks) and snouted her way out of the other door. 

It was like a minor earthquake. 

(The pitcher of tea that had been on my table had fallen down, and so had the glasses - including my spider glass. Two framed photos of the surrounding mountains had slid down the wall, sending glass everywhere.) 

As I stood there like an idiot, pencil in hand, the farmer came running through the door. “Stay back,” he roared, stopping to pick up a broom. I raised my hand to point him in the right direction - as if the door hanging off one hinge wasn’t a big enough clue - and he ran out again.

Ultimately, he decided Louise was too angry to be reasoned with. He left her alone, fuming under an old apple tree at the very edge of the farm, and focused on moving poor, traumatized Hortense to a safer place. Since the new shed wasn’t finished, the chickens drew the short straw. Hortense moved in with them, and she immediately scared them half to death by digging a car-sized hole in their coop. She then sat inside it, oblivious to the distressed, offended clucking echoing all around her, and spent the rest of the day crying about her mother hurting her (and I mean, real human tears) and warily accepting bits of fruits and veggies from us as we tried to cheer her up. 

As for Louise, she didn’t seem to give a fuck about any of that. After several hours, she simply strutted back to the now-empty pigsty, majestically ignoring the signs of the devastation, sat down and waited for dinner. 

I was there for another three weeks - mother and daughter never talked again. Louise was much happier, and Hortense, after a few more days of mourning, made friends with the chickens. When I left, the scars of Louise’s bites were still angry and red on her delicate, Georgian features.