mid twenties. she/her. 18+ only. mostly bad omens. with hints of spiritbox, motionless in white, sleep token, and whatever else i’m hyperfixating on. @foliosriot <3
NAVIGATION:
masterlist ♱ fic recs tag
daily fave noahs ♱ answered asks ♱ other
RULES:
this blog contains rpf at times. any rpf here is strictly for purposes of enjoyment and is fiction only. if you’re not comfortable with rpf, please scroll along. this blog also includes nsfw content, minors dni.
most importantly, no gossip about the bands or hate of any kind will be tolerated here. you will be blocked and reported. let’s keep this a safe space for everyone!
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Noah chants beneath his breath with every squeeze of your cunt around his cock, each deep stroke pushing him closer to the edge. He’s faltering now, every movement edging him nearer to his climax. When you gaze up, you catch the beautiful sight of him in the mirror ahead of you—Noah behind you, your ass raised, chest pressed down into the bed.
Your mouth hangs open, soft moans spilling between plump lips. The sharp slap of his hand against your ass draws a yelp, quickly followed by the rough kneading of his large palm, and then another swat.
“I’m gonna fill you, baby,” he grunts. “Fill you up nice and good. Make your pretty little pussy all mine.”
His hips quicken as he slams into you from behind, each thrust making your fingers tighten around the sheets, your eyes rolling back as moans of pleasure pour from your lips. He’s pulling you apart bit by bit, unraveling you around him, and you feel the final thread snap, dragging him over the edge with you.
Noah leans down, pressing his forehead to your back as a shuddering whine slips past his lips. He grips you tightly through the wave of his climax, hips jerking erratically as he falls apart inside you. There’s nothing you love more than this, the way he breaks, the heavy throb of his cock, the way he presses as deep as possible, warmth flooding you with every spurt of cum.
It takes a moment for the wave to fully wash over him, for both of you to come back to yourselves. When he finally does, he slowly draws himself back.
You shudder as he slips out of you, the sudden emptiness making you whine as you clench around nothing, determined to keep his cum inside despite the way you feel it slowly leaking, a sticky, warm mess trailing along your cunt and down your thighs.
“God,” he mutters, leaning back to admire the mess spilling from you. “Your pussy looks so pretty when it’s filled with my cum,” he coos.
At his sudden, unexpected touch, you let out a moan, leaning back into it as Noah watches his tattooed fingers drag between your folds, collecting the cum leaking from you, mixed with your own. Your hips buck as you try to press back against his fingers, but he pulls them away, bringing them to his mouth.
Slowly, deliberately, he rubs his fingers over his lips, coating them in the blend of your juices. In the mirror, you watch as he taunts you, a quivering moan slipping past your lips while you press back against his still half hard cock, grinding along his shaft, aching to feel him inside you again.
“Noah, please…” you beg, gasping, but all he does is smirk, slipping his tongue out to lick over his fingers, an audible groan leaving him at the taste of you coating them.
“You want more?” he asks, hazy eyes fixed on your reflection as his hand glides up to your waist, guiding your rhythmic, desperate grinding against him.
“Yes…” you breathe, doing your best to keep your eyes on him in the mirror. Every nerve ending feels like it’s on fire, desperate for more, desperate for him. As he reaches a hand down, he grips his cock and guides himself, rubbing the mushroomed tip between your folds, teasing it back and forth until he tilts his hips forward and you press back, meeting him.
He gasps and his other hand moves to your waist, gripping you firmly as he holds you still. A soft, trembling “fuck…” slips from him, a shiver rippling through his body at the sensation—his cock still sensitive as it’s squeezed between your tight, needy walls, feeling you clench and drag him deeper.
Holding you in place, his thumbs rub at the divot in your lower back, grounding both of you. Leaning over you, he crowds you easily, teeth grazing your jaw as you tilt your head back to give him more access.
“I want you to make yourself cum over my cock,” he urges, and you already know you’ll do anything for him. Your body quivers with pleasure, eyes fluttering as you try to keep them fixed on him in the mirror. His teeth nip between kisses along your jaw as you reach a hand beneath you, slipping it between your thighs.
You find your clit easily, met with the slickness of his cum mixed with your own wetness, circling the sensitive nub as you squeeze around his cock. Noah groans against your jaw, his head pressing close to yours as his hands settle at your hips, keeping you in place while he grinds into you—the drag of his cock between your walls encouraging every slow, desperate movement of your fingers.
The pleasure builds quickly now, rising with dizzying intensity. Turning your head, your mouth meets his in the best kiss you can offer—sloppy, heated, hungry, moaning into each other’s mouths as he continues to grind, using your cunt as his own personal fleshlight, working you like a fuckdoll.
You feel him twitch inside you, the stutter in his movements as he’s edged closer. Your cunt squeezes around him again, recognizing the signs, urging him, needing him to cum with you, to cum inside you and fill you all over again.
He doesn’t disappoint. His movements stay steady until you feel it, the shuddering, dizzying climax crashing over you, soaking him and your fingers. His hips jerk as his cock pulses inside you, spurting hot ropes of cum deep into you, filling you once more as his hips press flush to yours, pinning you beneath him.
Chest heaving, he drops his head, nuzzling into the crook of your neck, leaving faint kisses wherever his mouth brushes. He clings to you for just a moment longer as your body sinks into the mattress, the slightest movement making your walls flutter around his twitching cock in your shared, oversensitive state.
SUMMARY: noah asks out one of your friends, and you can’t stand it.
WARNINGS: reader is very jealous but doesn’t understand why. lots of angst. noah makes reader jealous on purpose. self-doubt. self-hatred. please let me know if i missed anything!!
AUTHOR’S NOTE: loosely inspired by “chest” by 5 seconds of summer!! seriously one of my favorite songs released in 2025 it is incredible highly recommend!! anyways enjoy <3
Today is like any other day: hanging out on your best friend’s couch and sitting on your phone. You’ve been at this for hours, mindlessly scrolling with the occasional laugh from one of you, and trying your absolute hardest not to fall asleep. It’s been snowing very lightly outside and the house is so warm and cozy. And your head is lolling back and your eyes are slipping shut and—
“Do you think Danielle would go out with me?”
Noah’s words catches you off guard. You’re suddenly wide awake as you look over at him. He’s on his phone, and didn’t look up when he spoke.
Danielle is one of your best friends. She is beyond beautiful and is the sweetest person you have ever met, so it’s no wonder Noah would be interested in her. But they have known each other for a few years now. Why is he just now showing interest?
“Probably. Why?” you question him.
Noah shrugs. “She’s pretty and I wanna get to know her better,” he replies. “Is that okay?”
He says it in a way that makes your skin crawl, despite his tone being kind and respectful. Noah is your bestest friend in the world, but you can’t stand him right now. Why would he ask you that? Why would he want to go out with one of your closest friends? And why would he ask for your permission like that?
“Uh, I guess,” you answer at last. You shift on the couch to disguise your discomfort. “I’m sure she would if you just asked her.”
“Okay, cool. Thank you,” Noah says, flashing you a sweet smile over the top of his phone. “You’re the best.”
You mutter in acknowledgment and turn your attention back to your phone, no longer tired. But you can’t focus on what’s on the screen.
Noah’s question came out of nowhere. He has never shown any interest in Danielle before, and it bothers you that he is now.
But you roll your eyes and shake away the icky feeling settling into your bones. Noah is his own adult, so is Danielle. It shouldn’t matter this much.
Maybe it’s because they’re both your best friends and seeing them together would be weird. What happens if they ever broke up and you had to choose sides?
The possibilities occupy your mind for the rest of the day. If Noah noticed your off mood as the hours dragged on, he didn’t mention it. You wouldn’t want him to point it out anyways, so it is a massive relief to you when he doesn’t bring it up.
A week later is when your relief is stolen from you.
You’re at home getting ready to go to lunch with Beth. Music plays softly from your phone as you pull on your boots and slip on your big sweatshirt. It has been snowing more every night and you’re not about to freeze your ass off when you go outside.
You are so very thankful that the sweatshirt you chose is so big and cozy because you know it will keep you nice and warm. Beth really wanted to go to an outdoor mall of all places regardless of the weather forecast, so you mustered up the strength to brave the cold for your friend.
However, as soon as you get into the nice, comfortable heat of her car, she greets you with, “When were you gonna tell me Noah asked out Dani?”
Damn, that was fast.
You force yourself not to roll your eyes. “He asked me about it when we hung out last,” you explain flatly. “I didn’t think he was gonna be so quick with it.”
“Uh, yeah, he was!” Beth exclaims with a chuckle. “She called me screaming after it happened and told me that Noah showed up to her apartment the other night with a prepackaged hot cocoa mug or some shit and asked if she would go out with him. Like, who does he think he is? He is so gentlemanly!”
The other night, huh? And you’re just now finding out. Distaste festers within you.
Beth laughs and you know she is ecstatic over the fact that Noah asked out Danielle. Saying something about Dani having a crush on him for a while but never doing anything about it but wanting it to happen miraculously somehow. How she is so happy that it finally happened.
For the rest of the drive to the mall you have to tolerate Beth’s elated tone. You have to force a smile on your face. You have to show some happiness for your friend because it would be odd if you didn’t. Beth would become suspicious.
When you arrive at the mall, you’re surprised to see so many people out and about. They all must be holiday shopping, you think. You climb out of the car with Beth and begin making your way to the first store.
However, off to the side of the front entrance you see a familiar imposing figure standing above the rest of the crowd. Your heart sinks. You didn’t know they were going to be here.
“Hi, guys!” Danielle happily greets you two. Noah is behind her, his hands shoved into the pockets of his jacket. He has a sweatshirt on underneath and the sight brings a small smile to your face. Knowing him, he must be freezing.
Beth and Danielle immediately dive in to conversation, leaving you and Noah alone. Normally, you would lean into his chest seeking warmth, but you stop yourself before you can do that. He notices the hesitation.
“You okay?” he asks. His eyes dart around anxiously, like he’s waiting for someone — anyone — to recognize him.
You shrug. “I’m fine,” you say, the lie leaving your mouth in a little white cloud. “I see you asked Dani out already.”
“Oh, yeah.” A half smile stretches his lips. “I’m a little surprised she said yes.”
“Really? You’re surprised she said yes? To you?” You scoff at Noah. “Oh, please. Anyone would be an idiot to say no to you. Have you seen you? Shit.”
“Yes, I’ve seen me,” Noah says softly. He stays quiet for a moment. “Anyone would be an idiot, huh? What about that time you said no to going on tour with me? ‘Cause I’m pretty sure that counts.”
You bite your tongue at the memory. A couple years ago, Noah really wanted to take you on tour with his band. But you ultimately said no because you had other responsibilities and obligations at the time. There was no way you would have been able to put all of that on hold for Noah.
No matter how much you wish you had dropped all of it just to travel with him. And no matter how much you know Noah holds it against you.
“That doesn’t count, dickhead,” you snap at him, a bit too much bite in your words.
“Would you say no now?” His tone nearly matches the temperature. But there is something hopeful behind the words, you think.
“You have a girlfriend now,” you remind him. “So yes, I would say no. I would have to, because I respect both you and Danielle too much. I’m not putting myself between my best friends like that.”
Noah doesn’t say anything. You risk looking up at him, just to see him staring off to the side. His nose and the tips of his ears are bright red, his cheeks nice and rosy. At times like this, you would cover his ears with your sweater-concealed hands in an attempt to warm them up. You almost do it just to have him smile so lovingly at you. But you have to remind yourself of the girl just a few feet away from you.
Beth calls for you guys and you hesitantly follow after your friends. You hang back as you watch Noah reach for Danielle’s hand, then stuffs it into his jacket pocket. You seethe quietly at the sight. He would do that for you.
Something burns in your chest as the four of you wander the outdoor mall. You watch as Noah is timidly affectionate towards Danielle, making something inside of you twist and coil tightly, uncomfortably. Seeing them together is bothering you and you can’t pinpoint the reason why.
As the day goes on you can’t shake this godawful feeling. That kernel settling in your chest is pressing down on your lungs and your gut. You feel sick. And it gets to where Noah notices, which is the worst part of this whole thing.
In one of the stores, as Beth and Danielle are sifting through the clothing racks, Noah has you follow him outside. With the brisk air and less people crowded around you, you feel like you can breathe now. You lean back against the wall and fill your lungs with the chilling air in an attempt to calm down.
“What’s wrong?” Noah asks you. You look over at him to see his eyebrows knit together with worry. Your throat is tightening.
“Nothing.” Another lie out into the cold. “Nothing is wrong, Noah. I’m fine. It’s just a lot of people.”
He doesn’t appear to buy it.
“There is a lot of people, Noah,” you argue. “My anxiety is getting the best of me, that’s all. I also would’ve worn more layers if I’d known the weather was gonna get so fucking cold.”
Which is true. Snow started falling about an hour ago and the sky has been growing darker and darker. You shiver relentlessly when not inside one of the stores, just like you are right now.
Noah rolls his eyes. “Here,” he says as he shrugs off his jacket. “Just wear this, okay? My sweatshirt obviously isn’t keeping you very warm.”
His sweatshirt? What is he talking about?
You look down at what you’re wearing, and it finally clicks that, yes, this is Noah’s sweatshirt. Of course it is. You must have stolen it from him some time ago. But you can’t seem to remember when. Oh, well. You take the jacket from him and slip it on, relishing in the heat from the fabric. But you say nothing about the sweatshirt.
Noah stands outside with you for the rest of the time that Beth and Danielle are in the store. You think you have finally calmed down and suppressed the awful feeling settling into your bones. But then you see Danielle and the feeling comes back with a vengeance.
You know you could never amount to her. She is absolutely gorgeous, with her golden brown hair situated into a long braid cascading down her back. Her blue eyes are complimented perfectly by the makeup painting her face. Her straight nose and her full lips, those high cheekbones and sculpted jawline. She is one of the most beautiful people you have ever seen.
You can’t help but to think you pale in comparison.
Danielle doesn’t appear to notice the internal anguish within you as she hugs you.
“It was so good to see you,” she says happily. “It feels like I haven’t seen you in forever.”
Which is true, you will admit. As much as you love Danielle and her company, you tend to avoid hanging out with her as much as humanly possible. She makes you insecure like no one ever has. And now that she is with Noah you are going to avoid her like the fucking Plague.
“Oh, god, I know,” you murmur. She pulls back and holds you by your shoulders. “We have to hang again soon.”
“We so do!” She smiles brightly at you. “I miss you all the time, girl. I love you so much.”
You mumble those three words back as she steps away to hug Beth. You glance over at Noah, who is already looking at you, and as much as you want to be engulfed by him in a hug, you don’t. The thought makes you feel gross all over. So you just end up settling for the scent of his cologne hidden in the jacket cradled around you.
Noah’s face falls when you don’t approach him.
“Bye, ladies! Christmas dinner my place this Friday!” Danielle calls to you and Beth as the four of you part ways. “Bring your own dessert style! Don’t forget! Love you!”
You make brief eye contact with Noah before he walks away towards his own car. He looks upset but you aren’t sure why. So you get into Beth’s car without a second thought.
—
The days leading up to Danielle’s Christmas dinner have you in a tizzy. You have been wrecked by nerves and the urge to ghost all of your friends.
Noah has been texting you but you keep ignoring him. You cannot stand the thought of talking to him right now. You aren’t sure why that is, but he seems to have taken the hint and finally left you alone.
There’s a sudden knock on the door that has you jumping. You aren’t expecting anyone.
“What the hell? You were supposed to be ready an hour ago,” Beth snaps as you open the door to your apartment. She struts right in without another word. You gawk at the cute long sleeved sweater dress she wears, how the cherry red fabric stops halfway down her thighs. She is wearing tights and knee high black boots. Her dirty blonde hair is straightened and cascading down her back. Your heart tightens.
“What are you talking about?”
“Danielle’s party.” Beth levels you with a knowing look. “We agreed to go together. Remember?”
You do remember. You remember agreeing to go with Beth after you left the mall a few days ago. You remember the searing heat of Noah’s jacket — as well as his previously acquired sweatshirt — when you begrudgingly agreed to go with Beth.
You opt to not respond.
Beth rolls her hazel eyes. “Well, get ready ‘cause Isaac is gonna be there and I’m not going by myself,” she tells you.
Isaac is Danielle’s twin brother who has always had a thing for Beth, but can’t seem to grasp the meaning of the word no. And that tidbit of information, that instinct to protect your friend, is all you need to walk off to your room and get ready.
On the car ride to Danielle’s, you sit mostly in silence. Until Beth breaks the quiet.
“So… Why are you avoiding Noah?”
You resist the urge to roll your eyes with an added on sigh for good measure. Beth has never beat around the bush or sugarcoated a goddamn thing. She is as blunt as they come, and you can only imagine why she’s bringing this up right now.
“What do you mean?” you say, feigning innocence.
“What do I mean?” Beth scoffs. “You’re avoiding Noah, your best friend in the entire world. Or did you forget? Something’s wrong with you. So tell me why you’re avoiding him.”
“I’m not avoiding Noah,” you murmur. The lie is bitter on your tongue.
“Bullshit! Yes, you are” Beth proclaims. “You’re avoiding Noah to the point he called me at work and asked if I know why you’re not answering his texts. Why you’re not talking to him at all. He didn’t even know if you were going tonight! Not until I texted him when I finally got you in the goddamn car. So tell me what is going on with you.”
Now you let out that sigh. You don’t even know what to say to her, frankly. But you know you have to say something at the very least.
“Nothing is going on with me.”
Beth laughs with her whole chest, and you know you’re in for it.
“Bull-fucking-shit! Because you wanna know what? If I were Noah, you would tell me.”
“Beth, that is not true—“
“Yes, it is, bitch!” Beth looks over at you, and you have a sinking feeling in your gut. She knows something you don’t. “You know I’m not going to judge you, no matter what it is,” she goes on. Her voice has softened and you know she is going incredibly easy on you.
But still, you say nothing. Because what is there to say anyways? You don’t know what she’s talking about, so how can you admit anything at all?
“Can I say what I think it is?” Beth asks very softly, nearly inaudibly.
You nod.
“I think you’re in love with Noah.”
Time seems to slow down. Beth’s words sink their claws deep into your soul, dragging trenches within your senses. Your blood feels like it is freezing but simultaneously boiling you alive through your veins. Disbelief is all you feel.
You’re not in love with Noah. There is no way in hell that you could ever see yourself being in love with him. Noah, the guy you’ve been best friends with since high school. Noah, the guy who you only became friends with in the first place because of Nick. Noah, the guy you told every single one of your secrets to because you trusted him above everyone else in the world. Noah, the boy who knows you inside and out. Noah, the boy that wanted to take you on a world tour with him and his band.
Noah, the boy who would drop whatever he’s doing to come see you. Just to say hello.
Countless memories flood your mind. Buried emotions resurface that you thought you would never have to feel again. Everything comes rushing back and you have the overwhelming sensation of drowning. Kicking and screaming helplessly in a deep, dark ocean of moments spent with Noah you never thought twice about. But now, as you continue sitting here with nothing else better to do, you let yourself sink further and further in these memories. Memories of Noah.
Your stomach does a dozen somersaults at the epiphany you’ve just experienced. You are completely numb by this realization and you aren’t sure you will ever feel again.
This changes everything.
Beth says your name into the stunned silence of the car. You blink, forcing yourself out of your head, just to see that you made it to Danielle’s house. Shit.
Beth turns the car off and gives you time to simmer. So many thoughts are racing your head as you notice Noah’s car a little ways away, and the sight of it has your heart thumping rapidly. He’s already here and you really don’t want to see him right now.
“I’m in love with Noah,” you whisper slowly. A tear rolls down your cheek.
No other words are spoken. But nothing else needs to be said, is there? You’ve already admitted the truth that has most certainly haunted you subconsciously for the past ten years or so. There’s nothing of significance you have to say anyway.
Mercifully, Beth gets out of the car without another word. You follow close behind her, snow crunching under your boots. You see her carrying something. And it clicks that you were supposed to bring a dessert tonight for the party. Beth brought her famous homemade pumpkin pie and you have… nothing.
You realize you’re shaking by the time you make it up to the porch. Beth has already knocked on the door when you come to. Then Danielle is dragging both of you inside and you would rather be anywhere else in the world.
And you hate yourself for looking for Noah. You hate the burning in your stomach when you watch him approach Danielle from behind, wearing the ugliest Christmas sweater you have ever seen. You remember picking it out with him at a thrift store last year.
He gives you a warm smile when you make eye contact. But you don’t remain in the living room with him and Danielle. You hurry after Beth as she brings the pie to the kitchen.
Beth’s other friends make up most of this party, you realize. From your group it’s you, Beth, and Rosalee. The four of you have been inseparable since middle school. And Rosalee being here relieves some of the pressure in your head, considering she travels so much for work and you don’t remember the last time you saw her.
“Oh, my god, look at you!” Rosalee says in greeting. She sets down her glass of wine and immediately scoops you into her arms. You are a firm believer that she gives the best hugs. Which is exactly what you needed at this present moment.
You breathe in her perfume, a mix of coconut and vanilla. The familiar scent is beyond comforting and has your nerves calming down. God, you needed a hug from Rosalee so bad.
When you pull away from her, Beth is smiling. Like she knew Rosalee was going to be here.
“Did you know she was gonna be here?” you question Beth. “And you didn’t tell me?”
Beth shrugs, pouring her own glass of wine. “Who knows,” she says conspiratorially. “Maybe I knew you needed some Rosalee time or something.”
Maybe she did.
Rosalee is the mom friend of your quartet. She is an amazing listener and gives the best advice. Usually, if she’s not home, you will call her with any problems you may have. But recently, just like Noah, you have been avoiding her.
Rosalee gives you a look from underneath her perfectly styled curtain bangs. “What are you guys not telling me?” she asks with a raised eyebrow.
You glance over your shoulder for a moment, just in time to catch Noah placing a brief kiss to Danielle’s head. You swallow the lump in your throat before meeting Rosalee’s brown eyes once more. But the way she’s staring at you tells you she just found out.
“M’kay.” She sips her wine. “We’ll touch on that later,” Rosalee says. “For right now, try and have a good time, please. For me.”
You give her a single nod. Which seems to satisfy her a little bit, because then she is handing you a gingerbread cookie with a wide smile. So you have no choice but to take it and make an attempt to have a good time.
An hour later, it proves to be way too difficult.
After dinner has been served and cleaned up, everyone gathers in the living room to watch a Christmas movie and dig in to all of the desserts and various treats brought. You give no opinion on what you want to watch because you truly do not care. You were planning on falling asleep with a full stomach anyways.
You don’t pay attention to the movie that was chosen. Instead, you’re sitting off to the side of the couch on the floor with a small bowl of homemade caramel popcorn that Isaac claims to have made himself. With a comfortably full belly and wine numbing the edges of your brain, you sit in peace, away from everyone.
But that peace is disturbed when someone sits down next to you. And you know their presence all too well.
Noah doesn’t say anything as he takes a few pieces of popcorn from your bowl and tosses them into his mouth. His eyes are on the movie but you know his attention is all on you. It’s a normal thing he does when it comes to you, so you don’t mention it.
“I’ve missed you,” he whispers, taking another small handful of popcorn. His eyes don’t leave the TV screen. “Where have you been?”
Your chest throbs at his words. It’s almost painful the way your heart is thumping so quickly. Tears are pricking your eyes.
“I’ve missed you, too,” you respond just as quietly. You swallow. “But I haven’t been anywhere.”
Noah nudges you, and you can’t help but to look over at him. His brown eyes appear black in the darkness of the living room, despite the movie playing and lighting up the walls. His hair is tousled and you have to suppress the desire to run your fingers through it. With his stupid Christmas sweater and the way he’s curling in on himself, he looks so boyish, so young all of a sudden. He looks like the Noah you met all those years ago for just a split moment.
“You have been somewhere,” he murmurs. “And I think it’s your head.”
Sometimes you wish he didn’t know you so well.
“What’s going on? You know you can talk to me.”
The way Noah is pressing makes you want to scream or throw something. Maybe both. You bite your tongue so hard you fear you may bite off a chunk of the muscle. The tears blurring your vision are getting too hard to hold back.
You shake your head, giving him a small smile. “I know,” you tell him. “Thank you, Noah. I just… Not right now. Okay? Maybe another time.”
Noah clearly doesn’t want you to leave it like that with the way he’s watching you. You turn back towards the movie before he can convince you otherwise. Rosalee and Beth were definitely witnessing this interaction from the other side of the room, with the worried scrunch of their respective eyebrows. You wipe away the couple of tears that fled down your face.
A few minutes later, Noah gets up. You had almost forgotten he was even there. You track his movements to the back of the couch, watch him duck his head down to whisper something in Danielle’s ear before standing straight and grabbing his coat from the rack by the door. He motions for you to follow him.
And you have no choice but to follow.
Out in the cold, you walk behind Noah down the porch steps and through the front yard. You keep a considerable amount of space between the two of you.
You’re freezing out here. The snow on the ground is reflecting the beams of light from the streetlights, making the dark night feel hazy and mystical. You tug your sweater tighter around you in hopes of warding off the cold.
Noah stops his journey at his car. He leans against the passenger side door and stares at you. You focus on the light white clouds of air escaping between his lips as he breathes instead of his annoyingly handsome face.
“What’s going on?” he asks you.
Tears are flooding your eyes, and you struggle not to let a single one fall.
“Hey. Something is wrong and I want to help,” Noah goes on, more firmly this time. “But I can’t do that if you don’t talk to me. You’ve been avoiding me and ignoring all of my texts. So don’t you dare say nothing is wrong when I know for a fact there is something going on. I’d like to think I know you better than that.”
You choke back a sob. God, you really wish he didn’t know you so well.
“Noah, I really don’t wanna talk about it,” you say almost like a plea. “I don’t want to talk about it at all, especially with you of all people.”
Noah is visibly hurt by that. Regret floods your body as soon as the words left your mouth, but you are much too stubborn to take any of it back. You keep quiet as one or two tears escape your eyes, with the trail of each turning to ice against your skin.
“Well, I’m taking you home either way,” Noah states with a sniffle. You can’t decipher if it’s from the cold or something else.
You watch as he pushes off of the car and rounds the front of it to the driver’s seat. He gets in with a slam of the door, and you have to take a steadying before you join him.
In the car, Noah blasts the heat. He must have seen how badly you were shivering and did this because he knew it would help you feel better. And it is, the warmth from the vents and the leather seat seep into your bones and muscles, heating you up from the inside out. But this uncomfortable silence is digging at you.
Alas, you choose not to say a word. Because, deep down, you know you’re a coward who will never be able to tell Noah the truth. You will never have the satisfaction of at least telling him how you feel even if he doesn’t reciprocate. The embarrassment would be too great on your conscience.
However, no words are exchanged until Noah pulls up to your apartment.
“Let’s go,” he says as he kills the engine, followed by him getting out of the car. And again, you have no choice but to follow.
He says nothing on the way up, and neither do you. Not until you are standing at your door. You go to unlock it when he finally breaks the silence.
“You know you can always talk to me. No matter what, right?”
The pain in his voice breaks your heart. He knows you’re keeping information from him willingly, and it hurts knowing that. But you can never admit the truth to him.
“Noah, please, I don’t wanna talk about it,” you tell him. “I appreciate you so much more than you will ever know, I always will. But I can’t talk to you about this.”
“Yes, you can,” Noah urges. “Last I checked, we’re still best friends. And best friends talk to each other about stuff they don’t want to.”
You laugh to yourself. “Best friends,” you mutter. “Right.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
You take a deep breath and force yourself to meet Noah’s eyes. You don’t hide the tears now as they cascade down your cheeks. And you see every single one reflected back at you through his onyx colored irises. The desperation you see within their depths is tearing you apart.
“Nothing,” you say. You wipe your nose with the sleeve of your sweater. “That’s all we’ll ever be, so I’m just reminding myself, I guess.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” Noah is angry now, and you feel so guilty for doing this.
“Nothing.” You wave him off as you finally unlock your front door. “Thank you for taking me home and walking me to my door. You are such a gentleman, Noah.”
“Why won’t you talk to me? What the hell did I do?”
“I keep asking myself that. What the hell did you do. Goodnight, Noah.”
And with that, you gently close the door and lock it. But you lean against it as tears keep falling. You make no attempt at wiping any of them away, forcing yourself to feel every ounce of pain you have caused. Sobs begin wracking your body as you listen for the telltale sign of Noah walking away down the hall. It takes several minutes, but you finally hear his footsteps fade into the distance. Only then do you slide down the door as your cries overtake you.
What have you done?
—
Beth and Rosalee stop by the next day. Neither of them have to say anything before you’re crying and hiccuping through your sobs and telling them what happened the night before.
“I’m never telling Noah,” you cry, wiping away the seemingly endless tears that have been falling for the past hour or so. “Admitting it to myself was hard enough. I’m just gonna crawl under a rock and die, I think.”
“You need to tell him,” Rosalee says softly. Her short black hair bounces whenever she moves. “Even if he doesn’t feel the same, you’ll feel better for telling him.”
“There is no fucking way I’m telling him,” you fire back, your voice hoarse and raw from crying so much. “I’m not gonna tell Noah I-I’m in love with him when he’s with my insanely beautiful and amazing and successful best friend who can give him everything he needs. I… I can’t. I can’t do that.”
Beth purses her lips tightly and Rosalee whispers your name. Your eyes land on the latter as you’re shaking.
“We’re not pressuring you to tell him or anything,” she tells you. “We just think it would be a good idea to tell him, you know? Maybe let him know before it’s too late.”
You mutter those two words under your breath — too late. What if it does become too late? What if you are never able to tell him, if you don’t do it now? The thought terrifies you.
But you don’t want it to be too late. You want Noah to know. You need Noah to know.
And as you sit there you come up with a plan: tell Noah before you leave for your parents’ house in three days. Because after he brought you home last night you had made the decision to go to your parents’ place for the holidays rather than faking smiles around Noah and Danielle. You had texted your mom once you decided and you have no intention of taking it back.
“I’ll tell him,” you announce to your friends halfheartedly. The prospect of telling him is still terrifying despite committing to it internally. “Before I go see my parents. That way, if he wants to talk, he’ll have to wait until I get back.”
“That’s a good idea,” Rosalee says with a kind smile. “I’m proud of you for figuring that out.”
She smacks Beth’s arm when she doesn’t say anything.
“Proud of you too,” she mutters. “Still think you just need to get it over with, but I pride myself on being a good friend, so you do what’s best for you.”
Beth’s words have no effect on you because you know all of that to be true. And Beth is more than just a good friend. She is amazing and you’re happy that she is here for you, with Rosalee.
Once they leave, though, it’s proven difficult to find it in yourself to go see Noah at all. You know he’s home, Life360 confirms it. But previous encouragement from both Rosalee and Beth are sounding off in your mind like alarm bells. Each is deafening, and the only way to make it all stop is if you go see Noah. So you force yourself to your feet and out the door.
Noah’s jacket is wrapped around you as you drive extra carefully to his house. There was even more snow last night and you’d hate to get in a wreck right before Christmas. It would feel like a cruel joke being played on you by the universe.
Lo and behold, Noah is home when you finally make it. His car is sitting in the driveway, as well as another familiar vehicle parked behind it. Your heart sinks.
With the sun starting to set and heat flowing steadily through the air vents, you debate on leaving. You tangle with your thoughts on if you should just leave or suck it up and go inside. You’re leaning more towards the leaving option. Danielle’s car is like a slap in the face as you sit there sulking. You don’t need to embarrass yourself more by confronting both of them.
But as you’re just about to drive off you see them walk outside. Noah is walking Danielle to her car, his hands hidden in his pockets and keeping his distance from her. Danielle is clearly upset but being a good sport about it, whatever it is. That’s the moment they notice your car. You know you have no choice but to get out.
“Hey.” Noah has a small smile on his face as you hesitantly get out of your car and approach them. He looks relieved to see you. “What are you doing here?”
“I, uh, I wanted to talk to you,” you tell him slowly. You look at Danielle, who is making a pointed effort not to look your way. “But I can come back if you want.”
“No. It’s fine. I was just leaving,” Danielle says stiffly. She finally meets your gaze. There is some unknown emotion swirling in the depths of her eyes. “It was good to see you. I’ll see you later.”
And with that, she turns and gets into her car. You and Noah watch her drive away. When Danielle’s car is no longer in sight, you turn to Noah.
“What was that about?” you ask.
Noah scratches the back of his neck as he says, “I broke up with Dani.”
“What? Why?”
“You want the fake answer or the real answer?”
“Real!” You stare at him in surprise and utter disbelief. “What the fuck happened?”
“She isn’t who I wanna be with,” he says simply.
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” you shout. You are so angry at him. “You’re the one who asked me if it was okay for you to ask her out! She was so excited! How could you do that to her?”
“She’s not who I want.” And the way he’s looking at you has you weak in the knees.
Noah isn’t wearing a jacket or a sweatshirt to keep him warm, so his tattooed arms are on full display. You can see the goosebumps that have overtaken every inch of skin and you have to fight back the urge to drag him into your bubble.
“I don’t believe you! I didn’t go through all this emotional turmoil just for you to turn around and say you don’t want Dani!”
“What emotional turmoil?” Noah narrows his eyes at you. “All of the stuff you’ve been refusing to talk to me about?”
“Yes! Wait, no, I—“ You sigh heavily. It’s now or never. “I got jealous and I didn’t want to talk to you about it.”
“Jealous? Of what? Danielle?”
“Yes, Noah!” you yell at him. “I gave you my blessing to ask out my friend because I can’t have you! I got jealous because you will never see me like that!” Your voice cracks slightly. “So I’m done. I’m done fighting for your attention. I’m done hiding how I feel about you.”
“And what’s that?”
You scoff. “It’s pretty obvious, isn’t it? I’m not spelling it out for you, Davis,” you spit at him. “I’m not spelling anything out for you again.”
Noah closes the distance between you two, standing just a few inches from you. He stares down at you with an unreadable look on his face that has your heart clenching. Tears prick along your lashes.
“Do you even know why I asked Dani out in the first place?” he questions you. “Or are you just too stubborn to notice?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Do you know why I asked her out?” Noah reiterates firmly, ignoring your defensive tone.
You swallow the lump in your throat and shake your head.
“It was the only way I could get you to break and admit your feelings for me.”
“Excuse me?”
“You think I’m blind?” Noah scoffs with a sardonic smile. “I’ve known for years. Obviously longer than you have. I figured if I made you jealous enough you’d eventually cave. And that’s exactly what’s happening.”
You’re stunned. You truly do not know what to say to him.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” you finally say. “So you did this just for me to come clean about being in love with you? Do you not feel the same then?”
Noah’s face has softened but he doesn’t say anything.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” you repeat angrily. “You used one of my best friends just to get a confession out of me? Do you know how fucked up that is? That is so fucked up, Noah!”
“I didn’t use her, I—“
“Yes, you did!” Your disgust flies out of your mouth in a white cloud. The temperature is dropping steadily and yet you two are still outside. And you are spiraling. “You fucking used Danielle because you didn’t have the guts to go to me directly! You didn’t care if it hurt her in the process! And now I’m not even sure if you like me back, because that is ridiculous! Do you like-like me? Do you love me? I’m so confused, and jesus christ, I shouldn’t have come. I should have stayed home and dealt with this shit on my own—“
“Oh, my god, just shut up.”
Then Noah is grabbing you by the face and smashing his lips into yours. You instinctively reach for him and hold on for dear life.
Noah’s mouth is greedy against yours. It feels like he wants to swallow you whole, and you almost let him, but you have to pull back. You have to pull off of Noah and you almost dive right back in when he chases your lips as you lean away.
You pant for a few seconds, staring up at Noah.
“What the fuck?”
“What the— Are you kidding me?” Noah shakes his head. He licks his swollen lips and says, “I love you. I’m in love with you. I’ve been in love with you. Do we need to argue again to prove that?”
“No. No arguing,” you mumble. “God, I should tell you. I’m going to my parents’ house for Christmas.”
“No, you’re not.”
“Not anymore,” you confirm, tugging Noah back towards you.
He hums in satisfaction when your lips connect again. He grabs at your waist underneath your his jacket, his hands touching everywhere he can reach. But even with his warm hands and his hot mouth the cold weather is unforgiving. You’re shivering against his body and you can feel him shaking too. You make the difficult decision to pull away. Again.
“Can we go inside? Please?” You begin melting where you stand when Noah moves his mouth down to your jaw and neck. “Noah? I-It’s cold as hell out here.”
Noah squeezes your hips one more time before finally tearing his face away from your neck. He is a sight to behold once he does, with his bright red cheeks and nose and ears, his swollen lips and hooded eyes. And god, you have never wanted him so badly.
If he says something you don’t acknowledge. Because instead of admiring him you’re bringing your hands up to his head, carefully placing them over his ears. His expression is soft and full of love when you meet his eyes. You smile small at him. You can barely feel the cold anymore.
Without another word, Noah picks you up and carries you inside. Your chests are pressed together and the light amount of skin on skin is making your head spin. Both of your hearts are beating as one, and you think if you looked down they would be conjoined, because you have always believed you and Noah share the same heart.
Same heart, just different chests.
thank you for reading! hope you enjoyed! likes and reblogs are very much appreciated!! <3
summary: early morning sleepy sex with noah before an interview.
word count: 851
cw: nsfw 18+ only, smut under the cut, unprotected p in v, creampie, and honestly a bit of fluff. lmk if i missed anything!
author's note: i've been wanting to write something like this forever and i finally did. i hope it's somewhat good. as always, thank you @foliosriot for editing this and making the header <3
it was very early in the morning when your alarm started echoing through your shared bedroom. the deafening noise startles you awake, and you’re confused as to why it’s going off when it still seems to be dark outside.
“why so early?” you ask your boyfriend. noah had quickly turned off the alarm before pulling you in closer to him.
your back is pressed against his chest, his arm wrapped around you.
“interview at seven,” he mutters while placing sleepy kisses behind your ear. “with that radio station,” he adds in between the kisses that have now found their way down your neck.
goosebumps instantly make way along your skin, and a quiet moan falls from your lips involuntarily.
“what are you doing then?” you sigh, as his kisses become more intentional and he starts rutting against your back.
“i’m sleepy,” he mumbles into your ear. “want you.”
he reaches beneath your shirt, his hand rubbing small circles on your tummy before finding your bare chest. he cups your tits, giving them each a gentle squeeze.
“don’t you have to get up?” you breathe, pressing your back into him. you want to give in, hell, you can already feel the wetness between your legs. but you don’t want to make him late.
“soon. need to feel you first.” his breath is hot against your flesh, sending shivers down your spine.
he retracts his hand from your middle, and moves it swiftly underneath your leg, lifting it up to allow for easy access. his tattooed fingers dip into your folds, and you can feel the groan he lets out.
“so wet for me already,” he says as he lightly glides along your dripping cunt, slowly migrating downwards to tease your hole.
you’re throbbing from his touch alone, and the moan that falls from your lips is nearly pornographic. you need to feel him inside you.
“needy girl,” he whispers against your neck. “you like when i play with your pretty pussy, don’t you?”
“mhm, please,” you beg as you bear down on his long fingers. “need you.”
“shhhh,” he hushes you while lifting up your leg and positioning his thick cock at your entrance. he runs the tip through your wet folds before slipping inside of you with ease.
you both let out breathy moans as he begins to slowly thrust in and out of you.
“you feel so good, baby,” he stutters as he begins to move faster. his lips are barely touching your skin but it feels like every word and every moan is sending electric waves throughout your entire body.
you clench around him involuntarily as he picks up the pace and it doesn’t take long before you’re completely lost in each other. the room is filled with the sound of his hips slapping against yours, and the airy moans that continue to fall off of each other’s lips.
“so close,” you whimper, and you can tell he is too by how sloppy his movements are becoming.
“cum with me, baby,” he murmurs behind your ear. “wanna feel you.” it’s almost as if he can’t keep up with his own pace and his thrusts become quick, and shallow.
you manage to let out a quiet whisper, “now,” as your climax builds within you.
you feel your muscles tense, your vision starting to go blurry, and you can almost hear your blood rushing within your ears. as soon as your orgasm starts to wash over you, you can feel noah tensing up behind you.
the feeling of your pussy contracting around him is enough to send him over the edge. “fuuuck,” he cries out, thrusting as fast as he can muster before coming to a halt. suddenly you feel his cock pulsating inside you as warm beads of cum begin to fill you up.
as both of you reach your high, noah thrusts into you one more time and moans, “i love you.” and one more, nice and slow, “so much.”
“i love you,” you sigh, and with that, both of your bodies begin to relax. noah doesn’t pull out, instead he stays still, savoring how good and warm you feel around him.
his arm shifts and goes back to being wrapped around you. you can feel the kisses trickling down your neck and then to your shoulder.
you hum at the feeling, “don’t want you to go.” you snuggle into him once more, “want you to stay with me.”
he rests his chin in the crook of your neck, “trust me, i’d much rather stay here with you.” when he pulls you in even closer, he whispers, “i get so caught up in you. i could stay here forever.”
a smile stretches across your lips and you hum in agreement.
you lay there together for awhile, exchanging sweet nothings until noah’s alarm blares again. the sound causes you to sigh, you didn’t want him to get up yet but you knew he had to.
unexpectedly, he hits the snooze button. “just a little while longer,” he says, planting one more kiss to your neck.
dividers by: enchanthings-a // title: alkaline by sleep token
"if your favorite band, or a band you love, can do both... why are you gonna complain about getting to hear a different genre of music when you're not in the fucking mood for heavy music, done just as well but by the same band you like listening to and supporting, that can do heavy music super well too? y'know what i mean? like, who the fuck is in the mood for metal all the time? not me! so, if a band i like put out a fucking record that's like, pop or even country, fucking who cares, whatever, i'm like: fuck yeah, now i can still listen to this band when i'm not in the mood to listen to this band anymore."
