let love go unexpressed.

i still love you with all the pieces of my broken heart

[confessionofmybrokenheart]

LETTERS FOR YOU || part 9

You’ve been in my mind lately, we’re not talking everyday but this is definitely more than how we communicated before. Is it only because of the quarantine?

Apr 8, 2020, was the first time we saw each other thru video call...after 3 years.

You haven’t changed a lot. Your smile is still the same, you still laugh like an idiot. And I still love it when you shave your facial hair, or when you cut your hair short.

I hope everything goes back to normal soon, so we can go back to our normal lives, normal routine. And maybe we plan to see each other? I think that’d be great.

Apr 12, 2020

13:41 (PH time)

[confessionofmybrokenheart]

LETTERS FOR YOU PART 8

I was browsing on my instagram feed and I saw you posted a photo, I double tapoed and proceed to scroll more. Few minutes later, I couldn’t believe what my eyes are seeing...

You are calling...

You are calling...

I didn’t pick up immediately, I was waiting if you will cancel the call. A lot of things running in my mind, maybe it was just a pocket dial? It kept ringing, and did what I have to do. I pressed the green button.

Silence... and more silence...

Until you broke the silence and we both found ourselves talking, hey and how are you’s.

Two hours call, a lot of questions were answered, a lot of things were cleared out, a lot of words left unsaid were finally communicated, and a lot of apologies were given.

What I didn’t expect is that, after all these years you’d tell me you still love me.

March 28, 2020

[confessionofmybrokenheart]

I’m tired.

I’m tired of explaining, of the responsibilities that life is throwing at me, of thinking, of people who keeps on disappointing me.

I’m tired of broken trusts, of smiling, of pretending to be happy when all I want to do is cry..scream.. and sometimes, die.

I wanna run away, and go somewhere far... far away.

I wanna be alone, because really...I’m done.

[confessionofmybrokenheart]

Insanity

Wow, it’s good to be back. I haven’t written anything here for so long. For sure, the last time I wrote was about MPR. Don’t worry this note is not about him, maybe partly.

I just couldn’t understand what I’m feeling. There are days, like now, that I feel like I’m so excited to love someone..that I am ready to give everything without holding back. Normally this happens in the middle of the night, while listening to romantic or sad songs.

Whilst, most of the time, on my normal days— I am still not ready to be in a relationship. I feel scared or sometimes disgusted. I don’t want any responsibilities, I don’t want stress, I hate all the negative things that comes when you love someone.

Since I can’t make up my mind, I wanted to write it. That’s why you’re reading this.

For now, I still don’t have any answer. Maybe, someday— I’d be able to edit this post and answer my sanity.

1st Sept ‘19

12:07 am (Maldives time)

[confessionofmybrokenheart]

[confessionofmybrokenheart]

All Your Perfects

There are so many thoughts jumbling in my head and I think this is the perfect time to write again.

I used to get excited at the thought of getting married, staring at my children running around the house, and I will be the perfect wife who stays in the house and wait til my husband arrives from work. I always wished to have a glimpse of what my future look like, who am I gonna get married to, how many children I would have, will I end up getting divorced, or worst....am I gonna die alone?

But as I’ve read this book— All Your Perfects, the thought of marriage scared the sht out of me. The adulthood generally. I am scared that I would not be able to find anyone as strong as Graham that would still fight even if I have stopped fighting for both of us. I am scared that I would get cheated on and will receive nothing, not even a single apology. I am scared about the bad days that will come, because most of us thinks relationship is only about the perfect days. I am scared that fiction will stay as fiction, and that in reality, we just let all the things walk away from us just because we are hurting, just because you’re no longer happy.

[fadeddreams666]

[confessionofmybrokenheart]

Same date, different year, different feelings. I hope my absence doesn’t hit you anymore and never did. If ever it did, I hope you were able to get back up from it. I hope that we both learned something from what had happened in the past.

I hope that you have forgiven me for leaving without saying a proper goodbye. I hope you understand why did it happen. It was a horrible day and I became vulnerable. It was just love that made me selfish and immature. And it was also love, that helped me face the fact that we have to set each other free.

I hope you’ll find the one, don’t worry, I am no longer hoping to be that “the one” for you. Last thing, I wish you nothing but good things in your life. I want you to be happy as much as I am, no matter what.

[confessionofmybrokenheart]

"I was with my ex girlfriend a week before I see you. I stayed with her." It's still the most hurtful words I've ever heard from you. All I can say at the back of my mind is "tangina ang sakit." I have so many things to tell you, but that day was different. I was so hurt I couldn't say a word. I wanted to tell you how much I love you but I know it won't help. I feel like someone punched me straight to my heart, and I couldn't breathe. Some of the words you told me didn't even register in my brain. I felt numb. All I could feel is, my tears dripping from my eyes. I can exactly remember how I tried to keep myself calm while fixing my bag, trying to stand up from the chair and then you asked me.. "Are you leaving?" Yes, I am leaving. I didn't mean to leave you for good. I just started walking back to the hotel, I wanted some space. I suddenly found myself crying down on the floor. Do you know why? I am crying because I know in my heart that I am losing it. All the hopes are slowly fading. I am crying because I don't understand why am I not enough for you. I was crying because that exact moment, I know we're over. I didn't know what to do, so I started packing my things and left, for good. I still hope that one day, we will see each other again and I would be able to tell you this story and just laugh about it.

[dailyinspirationquotes]

Check our Facebook Page

[somepiecesofmyheartandsoul-deac]

We are more willing to spend the rest of our lives carrying a pang of regret, than to open our mouths to spill out the thoughts that keep us restless at night.

Lukas W. // Coffee thoughts #68 (via somepiecesofmyheartandsoul)

[quotesndnotes]

Spend your time to those who you love unconditionally, not with those who love you when the condition is right. —via http://ift.tt/2eY7hg4

[confessionofmybrokenheart]

I am not hoping that you'd come back to me. I don't know if I will ever see you again, or talk to you again, or if that's what I really want to happen. All I know for now is, I still love you. I was so hurt that day that I couldn't say a word, I wanted to ask you if you even have an idea how much I love you, but nothing came out from my mouth. I guess i will just leave it that way.

[kissmyshattered-deactivated2021]

[lomasdope]

Moving on doesn’t mean you forget about things. It just means you have to accept what happened and continue living.

(via lomasdope)

[remanence-of-love]

Simply change direction and keep going…

Follow for more relatable love and life quotes!

[radiantquotes]

Losing someone doesn’t hit you until you have to do things without them that you used to do with them.

(via radiantquotes)