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@coolinhel
it is impossible to watch a movie. every night i think i want to watch a movie. no movie gets watched. because it's not possible
and yet they keep making movies with the hopes that one day humanity will discover a way to watch them. it's so inspiring
'minion' -too closely associated with those yellow things
'goon' -linguistic drift gave her a new meaning. i hope her new life is good for her. i miss her.
'henchman' -too gendered. can be shortened to 'hench' in a pinch, but lacks punch.
'servant' -too domestic to apply to all those who serve evil.
'underling, subordinate' -this one only works if they get off on being beneath you and/or you don't properly pay your workers.
'associate' -this one's good for grizzled mercenaries or lone agents but doesn't work good for broad swathes of an organization.
'slave' -same as underling but more intense. really fun for some of the group. unsavory for others in a way that limits the scope of the thing.
'thrall' -only really applies if you're brainwashing them and that's not something i've learned how to do en masse yet
'flunky, toady, stooge, lackey' -these are just insulting, and that isn't conducive to a healthy work environment. imagine going to work and your job title is 'stooge'.
'acolyte' -works for those that worship you, but again. lacks the scope.
'supporter, follower' -unspecific and vague
'assistant, helper, aide' -not sinister at all. just means you're doing things for me. swagless in this manner. could be good if used to describe someone who's so clearly more that as a way to emphasize their obedience via understatement, but that's only useful for a few members of the organization. and even then, 'associate' works better.
'cohort' -untested in the field. suggests an equal footing in the affair, ideal for post-structuralist evil organizations with a bottom-up power structure that's held in the hands of the evil workers themselves. perhaps we'll explore it together?
may I suggest: 'grunt' – time-tested by crime bosses with a variety of goals and organizational mandates. implies a subservient position with none of the innate baggage of lackey et al.
GRUNT IS PRETTY GOOD
locked the fuck in get my money up
Every morning, the queen asked her magic mirror to show her the most beautiful person in the world.
The mirror replied "To whom?"
"The miller who made the flour for my bread," the queen would say, or "Whoever spun the thread my shawl was made of".
The mirror would show her, and she'd be amazed.
The first time, she says "To me," and the mirror dutifully shows her her reflection. And she is pleased.
The second time, she says "To the King," and she is pleased to see herself once more.
The third time, she says "To the Royal Advisor," and is once more satisfied to see herself.
The fourth time, she says "To the scribe who takes the King's letters." She is shown the man's wife. And she seethes, but quiets herself, for it is only right that a man loves his wife.
The fifth time, she says "To the Court Wizard," and is shown the man's departed mother as he remembers her from his youth, radiant and smiling and warm and larger than life.
The tenth time, she says "To the Stable Master," and is shown the fastest horse in the stable, majestic and free as the wind even in captivity
"To the baker," she is shown the man's daughter, young and adorable and full of joy and laughter.
"To the artist who did my portrait," she is shown a painting of a woman done by the man's teacher, who he still looks up to now that he is well established himself.
"To the Royal Knight," she is surprised but not displeased to see the castle's entire guard force in the middle of doing drills.
The one hundredth time she asks the mirror, and it asks her "to whom?" she once again says, "To me." And she does the same the one hundred and second, and again and again and again.
It is a different person each time, and they are all beautiful.
cryin just a little
problematic sudoku solving skills gap
i bet the pain will end if i arrange a perfect enough sentence about it
batshit normal
This is what it’s all about. Saturday night. At home. Switching between the same 4 apps on my phone. Getting scared.
Can I be honest with yall I don't want to hear SHIT against cishets at pride this year
"But it's not FOR them!!!" The biggest military power in the world belongs to a christofascist nation overseen by a felon found guilty of 34 federal crimes and has greenlit a gestapo with more direct funding than the entire military of Canada for the purpose of ethnic cleansing. Let Hetero Jessica throw some biodegradable glitter at a municipal parade
At this point if anyone is trying to exclude anyone benignly pro-queer from a pro-queer space I'm just going to assume you're a fed or something idk like something something destabilize the movement from within or whatever
I am making a VERY big point of the Ally flag in all my pride stuff at work.
Feel awkward about people maybe thinking you’re queer but still want to clearly signal “queers are okay with me”? SURE. LOVE IT. HERE’S YOUR WEIRD FLAG.
Don’t fucking at me about allies right now, they are ALSO actually getting fucking killed over us. Take your puri-gay shitty tent somewhere else mine is great with people’s cishet friends and relatives showing up to have our backs.
(“but what if they -“ shitty behavior is shitty behavior I don’t care if you INVENTED queer sex, if you’re acting like a douche i’ll kick you out. wanna act decent and accept the premises of queer coexistence and freedom, cool, i’m not judging you for feeling ok with the gender title they gave you in the delivery room or being attracted to people with the other standard issue title, grab a pop).
yep yep yep yep
If you're with us, you're welcome. Sure, sometimes you have to wear the costume before it becomes the clothes, but also, some of the best people at Pride are the slightly confused moms, dads, and siblings who show up whether or not they understand. "Love is love" also means "I don't need to get it to show up for you."
Thing is, too, if you kick people out who came to Pride to support and defend you (and/or because they are also queer), they will eventually stop showing up to support you.
The funniest part of A New Hope is that Luke Skywalker is a 19 year old who has not locked in yet and plays with toys and sleeps in his childhood bedroom at his aunt and uncle’s house and Leia Organa is a 19 year old with a mission to save the galaxy from fascism. Luke has never left his hometown, Leia just watched her planet be blown up. He’s peeved his uncle is asking him to do his chores, she’s imprisoned for resisting the government. You relate to them both but they’re on complete opposite sides of the 19 year old life stage spectrum.
Also Luke is clearly very lonely after his crush and best friend, Biggs, went away to college
Yes! Some people have misinterpreted this as me insinuating Luke is a wimp but he’s just in a very transitional life phase that is focused on growing and maturing. His friends are growing up and moving on, he’s anxious to join them but isn’t quite ready. He has ambition and goals but he just isn’t in a place where he is able to pursue those goals, he is immature and that isn’t a bad thing. 19 year olds SHOULD be able to ponder their place in the world and which direction they want their life to take. Leia has been in the public eye her entire life, she is a princess, she has been primed for greatness and she has been shouldered with so much responsibility. Luke is just his aunt and uncle’s nephew, they love him and don’t want him to leave, he’s trying to decide what to do.
He’s like a Midwest farm boy who is dreaming of the big city and she is like an old money New England heiress who has been told since birth she will follow her father’s career path into politics and has been sent to the most competitive schools and enrolled in the most rigorous extracurriculars.
Luke is the protagonist at the start of a coming-of-age plotline while Leia is in the 3rd season finale of her failed revolution plan when A New Hope takes place and you can fight me on this.
and Han Solo owes a slug drug money
not a caller not a texter but a secret third thing
don’t contact me. ever
Gosh I’d love to give it a try. It’s just so hard to find the time with all the *describes a daily schedule that is 65% dilly-dallying*
The pilot -> astronaut pipeline makes complete sense but is also funny to me. There's a secret second sky and if you get good enough at doing sky you can do space.
i am of the sincere belief that if ur on ur computer a lot you should visually customize it to high hell and back not just for funsies but also because it has literally made me less depressed before. its kind of like how rearranging your bedroom is good for your brain, yknow. i do stuff like this every few months
my hottest take
Counter point, those machines can make me a peach sprite.
guys did you know the tech in that nefangled machine revolutionized preemie healthcare
yeah the guy who invented them made incredibly precise infusion pumps (as opposed to gravity fed ivs) which not only meant they could give medications to teeny tiny babies safely, it's also used for insulin pumps and portable dialysis machines. the key element is that it's a peristaltic pump so the liquid stays in sterile tubing for safety
(unholy drink cloaca uses it to dispense precise amounts of flavored sugar syrup)
Then how the haters loved him,
As they shouted out with glee,
"Unholy Drink Cloaca
You'll go down in history!"
You DON'T get this on any other site in quite this format.
i’m like a clown that no one hired or pays
