ĐНаŃŃнОо ОйŃŃŃио
apparently that means âpowerful embraceâ, but i got this
which seems much more russian
trying on a metaphor
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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@corieisaprincess
ĐНаŃŃнОо ОйŃŃŃио
apparently that means âpowerful embraceâ, but i got this
which seems much more russian
me, learning things about myself: oh this is bad
the benefit of knowing me: you can stand beside me and look 100 times more attractive than you actually are.
am I doing the meme right
i hope this inspires a new one.
i swear to god, men raising their voice is the most terrifying thing in the whole world. they dont understand, like its an immediate panic response, game over
I actually had no idea women found this so scary
my downstairs neighbors fight on a regular basis, and every time he starts yelling iâm a little afraid heâs going to kill her. i have no reason to think this except that he is a man and he is angry
My math teacher has a loud voice and a temper and he scares the living shit out of me almost everyday. Heâs made me and other kids cry more than once and he and his teacher buddies make a joke out of terrifying students.
this was women in general? i knew my gf didnât like it but I was unaware if this affected most women
Yes, it does
As a woman, I had no idea it effected other women like this. I was too afraid to even talk about it. I thought I was weak. Thanks for bringing attention to this.
My dad thinks itâs funny that I used to cry when he raised his voice. I freak out whenever some one does. Once my director did, and I started crying I couldnât stop. Iâm glad to see Iâm not aloneâŚ
This is so importantâ seeing how common this isâ and I also want you all to know that this is not normal. It isnât something instinctively ingrained into women, to be afraid of men. There is no natural state of men being a threat that women constantly have to be afraid of. This is cultural. So many women and girls here have a mutual understanding of this feeling, and I think it really shows an unsettling truth about our society, particularly about how men are raised to act and how so many women have this defensive reaction gradually develop. Itâs so important that these people have their voices heard, because it teaches us about problems that we just canât deny the existence of any longer.
Iâm glad Iâm not the only one
My fellow men, pay attention. I didnât realize how scary this could be until one of my exes explained it to me, and itâs heartbreaking.
Also, when we move too much during an argument, or lean forward, itâs scary, and I never knew. I was even a little insulted at first, because surely she didnât think I would hurt her. But see, that doesnât matter. It wasnât a sign that she mistrusted me specifically; itâs a conditioned response. (Although if you keep doing it once you realize it scares her, she SHOULDNâT trust you.)
Not every woman has been physically harmed by a man she trusted, but every woman KNOWS a woman who has.
I used to be horrible about this, because I didnât realize how intimidating it was. I didnât understand why the woman I was with clammed up or tried to tell me what she thought I wanted to hear, and I only got angrier, and acted even more like an asshole. It was wrong. It was abusive. It didnât matter if I INTENDED it that way; it was still emotionally abusive. And it was inexcusable.
I get that when passions are high, and when youâre frustrated, itâs a natural tendency to let your voice get louder, to shout and gesture and lean forward. But you can train yourself to do better. You can train yourself to keep more of an even tone, to refrain from large and fast gestures, to not lean into her personal space. I did. Iâm not perfect at it yet, but goddamn it, I WILL be.
Donât tell me itâs too hard, that you just canât do it, or that you âshouldnât have to.â Iâm 53 years old and just now getting the hang of it, and if this old dog can learn something new, so can you.
Note to guys: It really, REALLY doesnât matter if youâre thinking, âbut I would neverâŚâ
History is littered with the bodies of women who believed a man âwould never.â This includes women killed by men who honestly, deeply, truly believed they âwould neverâ⌠right up until she said that one thing or moved in just that way and he just got so mad, just that once, and pushed her or punched her or slashed her or shot her⌠just once, yâknow, to shut her up, or because she was flinching and didnât she know that HEâS NOT LIKE THAT and IâLL TEACH HER TO BE AFRAID OF MEâŚ
We are trained, from infancy, that Men With Loud Voices are a source of pain from which we cannot escape, and attempts to escape may result in more pain. And as soon as weâre old enough to comprehend a world broader than our immediate circle, a world that extends into the past and will run into the future, we realize that there is no way, no way at all, to tell which men âwould neverâ and which men âwould never⌠except if.â
We live or die on that âif.â And any man who doesnât like facing that hyper-vigilance can work on fixing OTHER MEN, not womenâs fear.
The reaction shouldnât be ânot all men are like that;â it should be âno woman should have to live in fear.â
Itâs telling that so many people will hear a story of long-term abuse and say, âwhy did she stay with him?â and not âwhy did he treat her like that?â
This made me cry.
I didnât realize I wasnât the only one. Like even if I hear OTHER people fighting and the guy raises his voice I always KNOW that heâs gonna kill that other man or womanâŚ..even if heâs not. Itâs just what the raised voice does to me
To this day, all the men in my family do this to me when they want to shut me up or intimidate me to do what they want.Â
My ex, as gentle a man you could hope to meet, did this once, along with grabbing me by the neck and pinning me to the wall because I was doing something he didnât want me to do.Â
Itâs like Louis CK said once about the equivalent being a world were men could only date a half-bear half-lion and hope for the best.
Tbh I thought it was common knowledge. Like, I just assumed everyone knew that getting loud and/or moving aggressively towards women scared the fuck out of us.
Iâm actually glad to see itâs not. Doesnât make me any less scared but it tells me that when this happens itâs not always on purpose. So thereâs that.
I had to explain to my partner that Iâve had exes try and kill me before and I canât deal with his anger. at first he just tried to explain that heâs not mad at me or that he wouldnât hurt me but he saw the kind of wreck it makes me and eventually he understood that that has never mattered before and now if he gets mad he usually goes outside or messes around downstairs with his fishtanks.
my partner used to be a head chef in a resort, used to build cars and heâs a manager in a factory, heâs used to yelling at everything and everyone when stuff isnât working but once he realised how painful it was for me he controls himself when Iâm there and comes and finds me to explain why he was mad when heâs calmer (so I stop freaking out that itâs my fault).
heâs a loud, explosive, confident man with a hair trigger temper and he can still pull himself together and control that anger for the most part around me now, so thereâs no âbut Iâm just like thatâ or âI canât help itâ excuses to be had.
if you know youâre frightening people and using that ingrained fear of abuse against them to get what you want idk what to say to you except stop.
this absolutely is normal what it isnt is healthy.
Iâve never had a man hit me or get violent with me, my father, step father, any of my boyfriends, or my husband. Â But I am still terrified when someone raises their voice in anger or moves to fast. It scares the shit out of me.
I like being alone. Therefore, in order to win me over, your presence has to feel better than my solitude.
(via psych2go)
hey if ur ever feelin shitty use this
Holy shit Iâm trying not to cry.
i really needed this one tonight
Do it!!!
Please do it
Thank youâŚ
It actually made me smile
Motivation â¨
Remember to leave out milk and cookies for Captain America tonight when he comes to leave presents under your flag.
Don't ever hesitate. Reblog this. TUMBLR RULE. When you see it, REBLOG IT.
The original post only has US helplines. I've added UK helplines underneath. It would be great if people could add numbers from everywhere in the world.
Depression Hotline: 1-630-482-9696
Suicide Hotline: 1-800-784-8433
LifeLine: 1-800-273-8255
Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386
Sexuality Support: 1-800-246-7743
Eating Disorders Hotline: 1-847-831-3438
Rape and Sexual Assault: 1-800-656-4673
Grief Support: 1-650-321-5272
Runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000
Exhale: After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-4394253
Child Abuse: 1-800-422-4453
UK Helplines:
Samaritans (for any problem): 08457909090 e-mail [email protected]
Childline (for anyone under 18 with any problem): 08001111
Mind infoline (mental health information): 0300 123 3393 e-mail: [email protected]
Mind legal advice (for people who need mental-health related legal advice): 0300 466 6463 [email protected]
b-eat eating disorder support: 0845 634 14 14 (only open Mon-Fri 10.30am-8.30pm and Saturday 1pm-4.30pm) e-mail: [email protected]
b-eat youthline (for under 25's with eating disorders): 08456347650 (open Mon-Fri 4.30pm - 8.30pm, Saturday 1pm-4.30pm)
Cruse Bereavement Care: 08444779400 e-mail: [email protected]
Frank (information and advice on drugs): 0800776600
Drinkline: 0800 9178282
Rape Crisis England & Wales: 0808 802 9999 1(open 2 - 2.30pm 7 - 9.30pm) e-mail [email protected]
Rape Crisis Scotland: 08088 01 03 02 every day, 6pm to midnight
India Self Harm Hotline: 00 08001006614
India Suicide Helpline: 022-27546669
Kids Help Phone (Canada): 1-800-668-6868, Free and available 24/7
suicide hotlines;
Argentina: 54-0223-493-0430
Australia: 13-11-14
Austria: 01-713-3374
Barbados: 429-9999
Belgium: 106
Botswana: 391-1270
Brazil: 21-233-9191
Canada: 1-800-448-3000
China: 852-2382-0000
(Hong Kong: 2389-2222)
Costa Rica: 606-253-5439
Croatia: 01-4833-888
Cyprus: 357-77-77-72-67
Czech Republic: 222-580-697, 476-701-908
Denmark: 70-201-201
Egypt: 762-1602
Estonia: 6-558-088
Finland: 040-5032199
France: 01-45-39-4000
Germany: 0800-181-0721
Greece: 1018
Guatemala: 502-234-1239
Holland: 0900-0767
Honduras: 504-237-3623
Hungary: 06-80-820-111
Iceland: 44-0-8457-90-90-90
Israel: 09-8892333
Italy: 06-705-4444
Japan: 3-5286-9090
Latvia: 6722-2922, 2772-2292
Malaysia: 03-756-8144
(Singapore: 1-800-221-4444)
Mexico: 525-510-2550
Netherlands: 0900-0767
New Zealand: 4-473-9739
New Guinea: 675-326-0011
Nicaragua: 505-268-6171
Norway: 47-815-33-300
Philippines: 02-896-9191
Poland: 52-70-000
Portugal: 239-72-10-10
Russia: 8-20-222-82-10
Spain: 91-459-00-50
South Africa: 0861-322-322
South Korea: 2-715-8600
Sweden: 031-711-2400
Switzerland: 143
Taiwan: 0800-788-995
Thailand: 02-249-9977
Trinidad and Tobago: 868-645-2800
Ukraine: 0487-327715
Isnât it satisfying when big cats fit perfectly in small boxes?
(via stxry_so_far)
HIS DAD IS A DITTO
I AM NOT OKAY *SOBS*
My heart
Viviabisvisbibi OMGâŚâŚâŚ MY HEART
Strike me the fuck down!
A group of rough looking boys walked past me today and all I heard of their conversation was âheâs got that anxiety disorder bro so I went with him so heâd be more comfortableâ and it made me realise the world isnât all that bad
#this is team skull
The pet store I worked at had a pen with rabbits near the front door. On every side of the pen were huge signs saying âYou can pet me, but donât pick me up!â One day two absolutely huge guys came in and one immediately reaches into the pen to grab a rabbit. Before i could say anything his friend grabbed his arm and asked him âdid you see the sign?â He said âyeah! it says that you can pick them up but donât pet them!â Then he went quiet for a moment and softly said âI didnât read it right did I?â And his friend just puts his arm on his shoulder and said âits ok, i know youâve got that thing where words get mixed up. Let just pet these cute lil shitsâ And I still havenât gotten over that interaction.
I was walking my dog through Boston bc he likes the likes car rides. Heâs a little thing tbh we call him short and long. So this huge scary man with a full beard approaches me like âhey can my buddy and I pet your dog? He gets nervous around dogs but yourâs is so small I think itâs a good place to start.â Ofc I was like âyes heâs very friendly!â So this guy brings his equally big friend over and they sit on the floor while this man looks terrified of my tiny dog so big man number one asks âcan I pick him up?â And i say yes so he picks him up and puts him on man number twoâs lap and man number two is abt to freak out and his friend straight up just goes âhey man, itâs okay just relax Iâd never let anything hurt you. Heâs a good boy.â Iâll never forget it ever bc I know that man looked at me (5'3 , glasses, probably wearing a sweater vest) and my dog (kinda goofy looking little thing) and was like âah yes the two least intimidating living things Iâve seen in Boston all day heâll feel relaxed around themâ and went out of his way to help his friend. It makes me so happy
A good post, pure.
Another adorable story has been added.
marriage seems so risky like what if you get married & youâre in the car afterwards heading to your honeymoon & you go to put on some music for the background & the person you just swore to spend the rest of your life with comes out with, âoh, I donât really care for the Prince of Egypt soundtrack, can you play something else?â how do you live with that