wolfstar are the kind of couple who try to kiss and have a conversation simultaneously because there’s never enough time for them to catch up after a long day, and that’s why they always end up in bed clinging to each other, talking into each other’s mouths while trying to make out or at least sneak occasional kisses between sentences
I am often plagued by the image of Sirius screaming and crying, overwhelmed by pain, anger and frustration and Remus holding him tight, murmuring ‘it’s okay sweetheart, you’re okay’ while Sirius is yelling at him and breaking down in his arms.
Rating: Not Yet Rated
Warnings: none
Major tags: Epistolary, Canon Divergence, America, Road Trips, Sirius Black Needs A Hug, Muggle Culture, A Love Letter to the US East Coast
With October and all its fanfic prompt lists just around the corner, I, as a fan of oneshots, want to beg anyone posting to AO3 to please post your works individually and not cram the whole month into one big multichapter work.
Anthologies of short fics on AO3 cause huge obnoxious hurdles for anyone wanting to find or avoid works like yours, and also muck up the numbers for anyone doing a stats dive.
Anything real that someone might try to accomplish with an anthology can be better accomplished with a series or with tags.
Teal deer: I want to read your promptober fics. Post them as fics and not as fake chapters so I can find them and read them.
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Here's the nitty gritty.
Anthologized works cannot be filtered for word or chapter counts:
I like to read fic under 5k, so I do this:
Someone else likes longfic, so they do this:
Only people who do NOT want to see oneshots will see your oneshots.
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All tags on anthologies cannot be trusted and must be assumed to be inaccurate:
This is true of literally every tag on an anthology, including fandoms, ships, categories (m/m, f/f, etc.), and archive warnings.
I want to read Cleric Beast/Hunter vivisection fic. Someone else wants to read Cleric Beast/Hunter fic and is squicked out by vivisection. Your anthology features a Cleric Beast/Hunter coffee shop date fic and a Sam/Dean vivisection fic, and therefore carries both tags. I find a coffee shop fic I don't care to read, and the other person never finds the Cleric Beast/Hunter coffee shop date fic of their dreams because they're filtering out vivisection.
Mad lib that example with literally any combination of tags and it's the same. Only people who do not want to read the anthologized fics will find them.
(PS the tag for Cleric Beast/Hunter doesn't exist, I should get on that)
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Anthologies throw false positives for crossovers:
According to AO3's search filter, a crossover is any work which carries tags for more than one distinct fandom.
In our example above, Bloodborne and SPN fics were anthologized together. Neither fic is a crossover, but the anthology will be removed from searches that exclude crossovers, and will spam the search results of anyone looking specifically for Bloodborne or SPN crossovers.
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The ratings on anthologies cannot be trusted:
An anthology must be labeled for the highest rated fic it contains. If you anthologize porn without plot or ultra graphic vivisection in the same work as as tooth rotting fluff, the whole thing will have to be labelled as explicit (or unrated).
People looking for explicit work will find the the G rated fluff, people looking for G rated fluff will filter it out because it's erroneously labeled as explicit.
Only the people who do not want to read the work will find it. Are we noticing the pattern here?
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To break the pattern a bit:
Individually posted short works belong on the archive.
Archive of Our Own is aptly named, it's an archive. It is designed to house fanworks, all fanworks, no matter how small, and the search function is designed to make those fanworks easy to find and sort. You are not "spamming" by archiving any quantity of correctly labeled archive materials.
If someone clicks on a tag and sees a front page full of your works and decides they hate you, they can just filter out your username or change the sort criteria. But chances are they'll go "sweet, twenty new works for the thing I searched for!"
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Anthologies muck up the statistics.
I do a fair bit of searching AO3 to grab numbers rather than to find fics to read. For these numbers to have any meaning, we have to assume that the fics that show up in the searches are correctly labeled.
If I run two searches like this, I can say that these characters have about the same amount of fic. But anecdotally, Elden Ring oneshots are anthologized more often than Silmarillion oneshots. Perhaps there are actually more Ranni fics on AO3 than Turin fics, and they're lumped together and hidden from the site stats while more of the Turin fics are being counted individually.
If I wanted to dig deeper and crunch some numbers, the problem would intensify. What if I wanted to scrape all the metadata and say there were so many millions of words of Ranni fic? If I wanted that to be accurate, I'd have to manually go through nearly one thousand works to exclude the "chapters" that aren't fics with Ranni in them and have been falsely included in the Ranni tag.
And all this assumes that an anthology tagged "Ranni the Witch (Elden Ring)" even has Ranni in it at all. Overtagging is always an issue, but anthologies are often tagged for future fics the author intends to write and include in the figure; not even trace of nuts tagging or tagging, but literally tagging a fic that does not exist. (I see this with highly specific kink tags on kinktober fill anthologies often enough that it's a personal pet peeve in addition to a data accuracy pet peeve).
From another angle, is the sidebar for the Elden Ring tag that reports 2200 slash fics to 760 femslash fics accurate? Is it safe to assume that slash is anthologized at the same rate as femslash in the Elden Ring fandom? I've seen anthologies with "chapter" counts in the hundreds, how different would the sidebar look if all those fics were accurately labeled?
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But Osterby, what if someone wants to subscribe to my kinktober fills but not my other work?
Put it in a series.
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What if someone doesn't want to see my coffee shop AU fic while scrolling through my profile which is primarily vivisection kink fic?
Thanks for thinking of me! I'll filter out the coffee shop AU tag, or I'll scroll through your vivisection kink series.
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How will people know what order to read my loosely connected oneshots in?
That's what a series is for.
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How will someone find all my works with the same OC/setting/kink/trope/fandom?
Series.
Or tags.
You can give your own OCs and AU settings their own custom tags.
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How will someone subscribe to my kinktober fills if they're not all in the same work?
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What if someone doesn't want to filter and still hates my works?
Skill issue. On their part. Don't prioritize haters over both your intended audience and over people who want to filter out 99% of your work but still want to read that one Cleric Beast/Hunter coffee shop fic.
And also you should block haters, not try grovel to them.
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What if I want to bury a fic between other stuff and make it harder to find?
Try minimal tagging, nonspecific tags, empty or uninformative summary, and archive locking.
--
If you've stuck with me this long, I've probably convinced you to at least look into the series function.
To create a new series, just make up the name for it while posting (or editing) a fic. It's a ticky box under "associations", right above the "this work has multiple chapters" ticky.
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And if you need more convincing, a series will allow your readers to leave kudos on each of your fics. Wouldn't it be nice to get 31 kudos from me instead of just one? Pretty please let me kudos each of your shorts as I read through your entire bibliography in one go.
Suggestion: If you don't want to fill up your Works page with a million tiny prompt fills, create a new pseudonym specifically for stuff you would otherwise drop in an anthology! username_promptfics or something. Post the first in the series under your regular pseud too so people can see it, and then tidy the rest away out of sight.
“Do you have to go?” Sirius asked, a bit plaintively. “Erm- what I mean is- you’ve gone to all the trouble to come out here to the middle of Muggle London to deliver flowers I so rudely rejected, and I feel as though I’ve given you nothing in return.”
Sure, Remus thought sarcastically to himself. Nothing except champagne, eye candy, the possibility of regular floral sales, and your undivided attention.
my second submission for @wolfstarbingo2025 ⭐️
Rating: T
Warnings: none, this is pure fluff
Major tags: Florist Remus Lupin, Hairstylist Sirius Black, Meet-Cute, Language of Flowers
Word count: 3 chapters, 13K words
remus’s class is going on a field trip to this fancy art gallery and when they get there it turns out sirius just… owns the place?? like oh, this massive marble-and-glass gallery full of priceless art? yeah that’s his.
and instead of staying in his Important Business Meetings™ he cancels everything for the day so he can personally give the kids the tour.
he’s not like “this is a renaissance piece blah blah” either - no, sirius is like “this painting is of a princess who ran away to live with pirates because she hated royal dinners, and this sculpture? totally cursed, don’t touch it or you’ll turn into a frog.” every single piece becomes a wild adventure. the kids are obsessed.
remus is standing there the whole time trying not to laugh and also dying a little bit because sirius keeps winking at him mid-story like they’re co-conspirators in some elaborate prank.
at the end of the trip sirius casually tells the gallery café to give the entire class free ice cream because “future art critics need to be fed.”
i want you in my room (baby, don't you want me too?)
When Remus ends up with a chance to spy on Sirius enjoying some alone time, he knows he shouldn't watch - and yet he can't resist. But when Sirius lets a certain name slip from his lips, Remus's plan to stay hidden falls apart.
James and Sirius sit cross legged on the floor of their dormitory, quill and parchment between them, and lolly wrappers scattered around.
Sirius taps his chin, listening as James reads out everything on the list so far; all things that would absolutely piss his mother off and have her rolling into an early grave if she ever found out about them.
There are a lot of things on this list so far.
“How about… mooning the crowd at the next quidditch match?” Sirius suggests.
James bursts out laughing, “Merlin, Sirius. That will have Dumbledore rolling into an early grave.”
“Good.” Sirius grinned.
“What would Minnie say?”
“Erm, probably… detention for the rest of my life.” He chuckled, “Oh, Minnie…. Love her.”
James cracked a bright smile and wrote it down.
“What else?” Sirius hummed, “I need as many as possible. It betters the chances of them getting back to her.”
“Erm…” James thought for a moment, fixing his glasses, “You could… oh, shag a muggle born… or like, a halfblood or something?”
Sirius nodded, “Yeah, that’s good… I mean, I’ve done it, but I suppose I could do it a few more times.”
“Oh, yeah…” James grumbled, forgetting about Sirius’ history with girls, “Ooh, you could shag a bloke. That would really send her.”
Sirius’ eyes widened, “A bloke?”
James nodded, “Yeah, like, ya know…” He shrugged, “I’d offer but I’m a happily committed man, Sirius.”
“Hmm.” Sirius bit his lip, thinking about it for a moment, “Add it to the list, I’ll consider it.”
James grinned and hurried to scribble it down, “Shagging… a criminal would work too… that also goes under the category of becoming a criminal. Because, you know, conspiring with them and all that.”
“Ooh, yeah, I’d shag a criminal.”
“Or like… a creature or something.”
“I’m not shagging an animal, James.”
James laughed, “No! Like… like a vampire or something, you know? Or a werewolf.”
“Oh, yeah.” Sirius nodded, “That could be cool.”
“Yeah… hot, right?”
Sirius shrugged, “Erm, I suppose. I like the muggle vampire romance books, so…”
James sighed and wrote it down, “Oh, look at that.” He hummed to himself, his tone a little playful, a little curious, “A halfblood, criminal… a creature, a bloke…” He chuckled, “You could just shag Moony.”
“Moony?” Sirius asked, looking down at the parchment.
James shrugged, “You’d be killing like, four birds with one stone. Your mother would be beside herself.” He laughed, “Ah, I’m just playing fun, Sirius. Obviously you’re not gonna go shag Moony. It’s not like you’re both gay or anything.”
Sirius nodded his head, “Yeah, it would be funny though.”
“Yeah.” James sighed, looking back at the parchment, “Ooh! Let the girls do your makeup and go have dinner in the Great Hall in a dress.”
Sirius gasped, “Oh, James, you’re brilliant!”
☆ ★ ☆
Sirius swings lazily on his chair, one leg propped up on his bedside table and the other just his toes touching the ground. His hair is tied back all messily, and he’s got his tie loose around his neck and a few buttons on his shirt undone. He’s humming to himself, watching the record spin and spin and spin on the table until it comes to a scratchy stop.
With an effortless swish of his wand, the record lifts itself up and slots itself away into the Ziggy Stardust sleeve on the shelf. And then he groans, throwing his head back and exposing his long pale neck.
Remus is going insane.
“I’m so bored.” He whines, “Why’d she have to make my detention so late?”
“To further punish you, I suppose.” James shrugged.
“You know, you should be thanking me. If I didn’t take the fall for you, Prongsie Boy, you’d be the bored one right now.”
“And I’ll forever be greatful for it, shnookums.” James laughs, bouncing over to kiss Sirius sloppily on his forehead.
Sirius yelps and nearly falls out of his chair, swatting James away, “You’re disgusting.”
“No, you are.” James says, tapping Sirius on the end of his nose like a sappy couple would, going back and forth about who’s cuter.
Sirius rolls his eyes and smiles anyway.
“I’ll see ya later.” James calls, “Gotta go do my rounds with Lily.”
“Bye.” Sirius waves, and goes back to his chair swinging.
Remus barely mutters his goodbye as he watches, and James laughs to himself as he leaves.
It’s just them two now. Alone. In their dorm. James out for the next few hours, Peter no doubt distractedly talking with the girls for hours on end. Remus should go down and join them, he said he would, but… well, right now he’d rather watch Sirius swing on his chair.
Besides, Sirius has to leave for his detention soon, so he can join them later.
Sirius huffs and a shiny strand of hair flies up out of his face. It slowly settles back down, and then Sirius blows it back up into the air again. He does this a few more times, until it falls off the side of his face and out of reach, and Remus watches, entranced the whole time.
“Moonshine?” Sirius asks, eyes squinting as he looks out the window. He’s tracking a bird as it loops around the sky.
“Yes?” Remus squeaks out, then clears his throat and deepens his voice, “Uh, I mean, yes?”
Sirius shrugs, “Would you ever be interested in shagging?”
Remus feels his cheeks go red, “What?”
“Shagging?” Sirius asks, turning to look at Remus, and it’s mortifying, “Like, sex… fucking… you know?”
“Ah… yes?” Remus nods, “Yes, I’d be… I mean, who isn’t interested in sex?” He laughs nervously.
“Erm… me, I suppose.” Sirius sighs, looking back up at the roof, “I mean, I do it a lot I suppose- or, well, not that much. But, you know, more than you or Pete and the girls and stuff.”
“Right.” Remus nods.
“But I mean, it’s not that great. You know, if I never shagged again, I wouldn’t care.”
“Really?” He asks, curious.
“Yeah, I mean, sure, girls are gorgeous and all but… eh, you know?”
Remus swallows, “Eh?”
“Yeah.” He shrugs, “It’s just… slimey down there. And like… I don’t understand the whole boob thing. I guess… I ‘spose it’s not really normal, so I just ignore it. But I don’t go out of my way to shag a girl unless she asks, you know?”
“Sure…” Remus says, because he very much knows- or, well, not really. He knows he wouldn’t shag a girl no matter what, because he doesn’t like girls. So he gets that, but he doesn’t really understand if Sirius is implying the same circumstance or not.
“Have you ever shagged anyone, Remus?”
“No.” He swallows, “Never.”
“Oh…” Sirius nods, “But you want to?”
“Yes.” Remus nods back.
Sirius seems to think about this for a moment, humming to himself in quiet contemplation, and Remus just watches. He has no idea what he’s feeling right now, other than downright confused and so fucking intrigued.
“Would you ever shag me?”
Remus chokes. He starts coughing and spluttering, cheeks red and eyes wide, “Sorry?”
Sirius shrugs, “Sorry.” He laughs, “Didn’t mean to catch you off guard like that. But would you ever shag me?”
“I… I mean…” Remus rubs his forehead, “I’m… I don’t…”
“Just, you know how James and I are finding things to piss my mother off?”
“Yeah…?”
“Well, we thought it would be good if I shagged a bloke, and a creature… a criminal, and like… a halfblood.” Sirius smiled, “You’re an unregistered half blood werewolf with a cock, so-“
“Bloody hell, Sirius.” Remus looks at him, absolutely gobsmacked. Lily will go crazy when he tells her about this conversation. “I mean… what?”
Sirius shrugged, “I mean, it’s not like I’m gay or anything. I just know it would piss her off.”
Well, that’s disappointing.
“So yeah, do you wanna shag?”
“Are you serious?”
Sirius smirked.
“I- no.” He scoffed, laughing into his hands as he hid behind them, “Are you genuinely asking me to fuck, right now, Sirius?”
“Yeah…” Sirius smiled, “Just a bit of fooling around. It doesn’t have to mean anything, and I know we’re both not gay so it’s cool. It doesn’t have to be weird.”
“Right.” Remus nods, because he’s not gay, no, not at all.
“Besides, imagine the bragging rights.”
“Sorry?” Remus hummed.
“Well, I can say I’ve fucked a werewolf, and a criminal, which is… pretty cool.” He grinned, “And you can say you’ve fucked Sirius Black.”
“Oh, you cocky bastard.” Remus groaned.
Sirius laughed, “Imagine it, one of those girls in the halls bragging to their friends about how I’ve been inside them- and what, you’d just be able to say you’ve been inside me! Something they’d never be able to say.”
Remus’ eyebrows furrowed, “I’d be inside you?”
“Well, yeah.” Sirius shrugged, “Oh, unless you prefer it the other way around. I just think I’d prefer if you fucked me, is all.”
Remus’ brain is short circuiting. He’s beginning to question whether or not Sirius is as straight as he claims.
“When you said shag, I assumed you mean handjobs.”
“Oh…” Sirius nodded, looking a little disappointed actually, “Oh, yeah, we can… we can just do handjobs if you want.”
“Erm, no that’s okay.” Remus cleared his throat, “I can… I can, erm, do that, if you’d like.”
“Oh, Moons, you don’t have to just do it if you don’t want. I don’t wanna make you uncomfortable.” Sirius smiled, so, so prettily.
“No, it’s okay, yeah, I’d…” Remus looked away for a moment, unable to believe he was actually having this conversation, “I’ll fuck you.”
“Oh, brilliant.” Sirius grinned, “You’re really the best, Remus. Like, my favorite person in the world. Mother will be so pissed if she ever found out- and don’t worry, I’m not just gonna go tell her. It’s just the idea of it.”
“Right.” Remus nods.
“So, erm… I’ve got detention, so we can’t do it now… how about tonight?”
“To-“ Remus stops himself mid sentence and looks at Sirius aghast, “You’re just… yeah, okay, yeah.”
Sirius hummed, “James will have his date thing in the astronomy tower by the time I get back from detention so… we just have to get Peter out of the room somehow.”
“Leave it to me!” Remus says, “I’ve got… I’ll figure it out. I’m… yeah, we’re good mates so I’ll sort it.”
“Oh, Moonbeam, you really are the best.” Sirius smiles, hopping up out of his chair and bouncing over to pet Remus on the top of his head, “Really, I owe you big time.”
“Yeah.” Remus blushed and ducked his head, watching Sirius waltz out of the room, humming a happy tune.
☆ ★ ☆
“Holy shit guys, I just…” Remus plops himself down on the couch between Mary and Marlene. Lily is sitting on the floor against Mary’s legs and Pete’s sitting across from her, they’re playing snap. “I… I think I’m gonna have sex with Sirius.”
All four of them went dead silent, turning slowly to look at him.
Remus swallows and looks up, “He wants to piss of his parents and… apparently secretly having sex with me is the perfect way to do that?”
“What?” Peter gasps.
“Yeah, my thoughts exactly, Wormy.” Remus muttered, “Erm, we’re gonna shag tonight… he wants… he wants me to shag him, tonight.”
“Merlin…” Lily grins looking up at him, “Oh, Remus!”
Remus bites his lip, blushing, “Pete… you reckon you can clear the room tonight?”
“Trust me, I’m staying as far away as possible.” Peter laughed, “Bloody hell, I owe James ten galleons. I really didn’t think that would work.”
“You planned this?” Remus asked, “Wait, you bet on this?”
Peter looked at him deadpan, “I’ve already made fifty galleons from winning bets on Sirius, he’s so predictable. Obviously I bet on this.”
Remus sighs and sinks down into the sofa, “I’m going to have sex with Sirius tonight…” He looks around at them all, “How do you have sex?”
“Oh, Remus.” Lily mused.
☆ ★ ☆
It’s just them. Just Remus and Sirius. The moment he got back from detention James was waltzing out of the room with a cheerful grin, off to his date, and Pete was following right after in hopes of finding Marlene.
So they’re alone already, which makes things so much easier for Sirius.
“Thanks.” He smiles, “For sorting Pete out.”
“No problem.” Remus nodded, “He was gonna hang out with Marlene anyway.”
“Oh, cool.” Sirius said, starting to feel a little awkward, “Erm, so, I don’t really know how this works.”
“Me either, I suppose.” Remus swallowed, “I did some research, though. Figured out some stuff.”
“Oh, Moons…” Sirius smiled, he really is the most grateful for Remus. He really is the best. He just feels so much admiration for him all the time. “You’re such a good friend.”
“Yep.” Remus nods, “Such a good friend.”
“So like… are we just doing the sex bit, or foreplay too?” Sirius asked, hoping Remus votes for foreplay. Sirius is good at foreplay, it’s his strong suit. It’s the part he likes the best of sex, so he doesn’t want to make it weird by not enjoying any of this.
But foreplay is what people do when they like each other, most of the time. So Sirius would understand if Remus says no to it. Like, it would be extra disappointing, but he’d get it.
“Forplay?” Remus’ eyes widen.
“Yeah, like… kissing and all that.” He shrugs, “Undressing each other .”
Remus swallows, “Sure.” He says, and for some reason his voice just got higher. Sirius likes when Remus’ voice does that, it’s funny and it makes him feel kinda good, like, proud in a way, but he doesn’t know why.
“Oh, cool.” Sirius nods, acting all nonchalant when really he’s feeling very happy inside.
“Uhm… we have to use lube.”
“Oh…” Sirius furrowed his brow. Girls don’t need lube. He really knows less about this sex stuff than he thought. “Right, well, I think we have some of that butter left from the prank-“
“Not butter.” Remus cuts in, laughing at him, “Definitely not butter, Sirius. It’s going inside you-“
“Oh, yuck. I don’t want butter in my arse.” He grimaced.
“Yeah, I don’t really want it on me either.” Remus laughed, “Like, sex lube.”
“Oh…” Sirius nodded, “What’s that? Can we make it?”
“No.” Remus smiled, turning to his bedside draw, “It’s just gel stuff, I guess. Erm, here…” He tossed a little tube over to Sirius.
It’s see through and has a transparent slime inside, “Oh, where'd you get this on such short notice? It’s half empty.”
Remus went red again. Sirius likes when he makes Remus go red. “Erm… cause I use it.”
“I thought you didn’t have sex?”
“I don’t.” Remus splutters, “It’s for… wanking”.
Sirius looked down at the tube, then over at Remus’ crotch, “Oh… really? I don’t need lube when I wank- I mean, not that I wank very often, but it’s always wet enough when I do.”
Remus’ eyes widened and he just stared at Sirius for a moment, “Right…”
Sirius shrugged, “This sex stuff is interesting.”
“Erm, you’ll also have to be… fingered.” Remus gritted out.
“Can you finger blokes?” He asks, genuinely baffled as he flips the bottle of lube around in his hand absentmindedly.
Remus nods.
“Oh, I didn’t know that… why?”
“To make it like… big enough.” Remus nods, “You know… for…” He waved his hands wearily around his crotch.
“Oh, yeah, I suppose it’s kinda a small hole, hey?” Sirius hummed, the pieces slotting into place now, “Cool.”
“Yeah, cool.”
“So… like, I haven’t kissed a bloke before, but I’ve kissed girls.” Sirius smiled, “Have you kissed a bloke before? I know you’ve kissed a couple girls.”
Remus nods, “I kissed Peter once.”
Sirius immediately does not like that. He doesn’t know why, but that’s just weird. It’s just so, so weird. Peter? Remus has kissed Peter? What the fuck.
“What?”
“Yeah, we made out once-“ Remus cuts himself off, giving Sirius an unsure look.
Sirius knows it’s because he’s scowling. He’s not even ashamed of it. Remus and Peter made out, how fucking weird. That’s just fucking weird. That’s so gross, that so- oh, is Sirius homophobic? Oh, Sirius really doesn’t want to be homophobic. A lot of his friends are gay, that would be really bad if he was homophobic.
He huffs and looks at the ground, “Did it mean anything-“
“No.” Remus says immediately, “The girls just dared us one day, since they’ve all kissed each other- it was just stupid. Didn’t mean anything. Never will. Never has.”
“Oh, cool.” Sirius nods, some of the weight lifting off of his shoulders. The thought still makes him a little queasy, but less so now.
Perhaps shagging a bloke will make him less homophobic. He really hopes it will. He feels really terrible. His whole life he’s been running from the man his parents tried to shape him into, and yet, the shadow lingers.
It’s terrifying.
“Erm, so… do we just… kiss?”
Remus is still for a moment, and he’s looking at Sirius kind of strangely. Sirius doesn’t know what to do with himself in all honesty, he never does under Remus’ gaze. It’s always so intense, it makes him nervous, fiddley… giggly.
Oh yeah, Remus makes him so giggly. He’s fighting the urge to giggle like a child now. Remus is just… he’s looking at him, like really looking. Sirius feels so special when Remus looks at him, because he knows Remus doesn’t look at anyone else like this. No, this look is reserved especially for Sirius and that’s just… well, isn’t that just delightful?
But he really doesn’t want to giggle right now. He’s trying so hard not too, because that would be embarrassing. He feels like a girl, which is so weird, and so dumb, because why would he ever feel like that?
“Do you want to kiss?” Remus asked back eventually.
“Yes.” Sirius says, without a thought, mouth on autopilot apparently. And that’s probably a good thing, because his brain is kind of a bit useless at the moment. So much is going on up there, yet there are no thoughts at all. He nods his head for assurance, “Yeah, that’d be good.”
“Okay.” Remus smiled and took a couple of steps closer.
Sirius looked at the gap between them, there wasn’t much of one, but he certainly wasn’t close enough to comfortably kiss. So Sirius took the final step, the baggy wool of Remus’ sweater brushing up against the buttons of Sirius’ shirt.
“Hi there.” Sirius murmured into the small space between them. If he leant forward, just a smidgen, their noses would bump together.
“Hi.” Remus smiles, his cheeks flushing a really adorable pink colour, flushed under freckles and scars.
Sirius really doesn’t know how Remus doesn’t get girls, because he thinks Remus is quite attractive. Well, sure, he’s not dashing in the way Sirius effortlessly is, and he’s not cute in the way Peter is, and he’s certainly not stoically handsome like James. But he’s attractive in his own little way, in the Remus way, the way that he’s just really handsome because he simply is and everyone should just agree because Sirius knows.
Besides, he looks really cute when he’s about to get kissed. All up close and personal, honey-golden eyes barely visible behind the dilation in his pupils, flushed cheeks smattered under a galaxy of freckles, silver scars that are just so intrinsically Remus, pert lips that look so… so… uhm, Sirius can’t think. He’s too distracted to think.
Point is, Remus is damned attractive and it’s appalling that not more people think so.
Remus huffs and bites his lip, and Sirius can feel his eyes searching all over Sirius’ face. But he can’t help but stare at the place between Remus’ front teeth, the plush skin, it’s so pink and shiny. He’s just so… so cute.
Sirius boops their noses together.
Remus almost giggles.
Sirius kisses him.
It’s… well, it’s so much better than kissing girls. Honestly, Remus must have been practising because he’s just really good at this whole kissing thing. Maybe there’s a spell or something that makes you really good.
Whatever it is, Remus is it. They’re not even making out and it’s just so much better than every girl he’s ever kissed, ever.
Remus is really just such a good mate, isn’t he? Gosh, Sirius really thinks so.
Remus shuffles a little closer and tips his head to the side slightly, opening his mouth and sliding his tongue along the seam of Sirius’ own lips.
It’s so well done, his smoothness, that Sirius breaks out in goosebumps. Once this is all over, Sirius will have to tell Remus that he really is just so good at all this kissing stuff.
He’s really that good that Sirius kinda just wants to keep him to himself. Like a little trophy that only he gets to have. No one else should be allowed to be graced with such good kissing skills because honestly, Sirius doesn’t think any girl out there would be able to properly appreciate it.
It’s so good, when Remus slips some tongue into Sirius’ mouth and reaches up to tug Sirius in by the belt loops, that he moans. He actually moaned, and he’s not even embarrassed because Remus needs to know just how good at this he is.
Remus tugs him closer and Sirius lifts his hands to grab at the back of Remus’ neck and tug at the jumper over his shoulder because something has just come over him. Something wild. Some primal need or something to just tear Remus’ clothes off and have him. He blames Padfoot.
They shuffle back to Sirius’ bed until Remus’ knees buckle and he flops down onto it. Sirius shoves himself into Remus’ lap, straddling him and pressing close which just feels… so good. Like, Remus really doesn’t know how good he is.
He must be some sex god or something. How Remus hasn’t had sex yet, Sirius doesn’t know. But what he does know, is that Remus is so fucking wonderful and Sirius doesn’t want to share.
How strange is that?
Remus’ bony fingers reach up to undo the buttons on Sirius’ shirt, but before he can even get halfway, Sirius is yanking Remus’ jumper up and off his body in a rush.
“So good.” He mutters, leaning in to kiss Remus again. He starts shoving off his own shirt before Remus can do the last button. “Oh, you’re really good at this, Moony.”
Remus moans against his mouth and wow, holy Godrick, that’s really a wonderful sound. How are his moans even that brilliant? This really isn’t fair. How is Sirius ever supposed to be so good in bed? He really hopes he doesn’t let Remus down.
“Fuck.” Remus mumbles, latching his lip onto Sirius’ throat and groaning when Sirius digs his nails into Remus’ shoulders, “You- oh, you’re really- you’re so hot.”
Sirius flushes all over, and he dips back down to kiss Remus again. He can’t help but giggle.
☆ ★ ☆
“Please, please, please, please.” Sirius is mumbling, actually completely naked underneath Remus which is just… it’s really a sight to behold. It’s an image which will be imprinted in Remus’ mind for the rest of eternity.
Remus can’t help but duck down to kiss him, right on the lips, because Sirius seems to actually really love that. He actually seems to really love a lot of things involving Remus sexually.
Remus moans, his hips pressing down against Sirius’. The friction from that alone is far better than anything he conjures up in his mind and creates with his own right hand at night.
“Yeah.” He nods, “Yeah, erm… do… do you wanna do it yourself?”
“Do what?” Sirius gasps, bucking his hips up when Remus doesn’t grind down again.
“Finger yourself.” Remus says bluntly, because there’s really no other way to say it.
“Oh, uhm…” Sirius’ eyes fly open, and they flick around Remus’ face for a bit before he flushes more than he already has and smiles, “Can you do it? I don’t really know what I’m doing, and I’ll just probably like it more if you did… you’re like… really bloody good at this sex stuff.”
Remus knows for a fact that he is not really bloody good at this sex stuff. He’s never even done it before, and he’s being really awkward as he always is. The first kiss they shared he was so stiff for, and he literally opened his mouth and shoved his tongue out really weirdly because he was just so shocked by Sirius actually doing this. He knows that was a terrible kiss, but Sirius just kept kissing him anyway. And then Sirius kinda took the lead there a little and gave Remus some time to figure it out, thankfully.
So yeah, Remus knows he’s so fucking bad at this. He knows Sirius has been with a good handful of girls who are confident, and experienced, and way nicer to look at. And yet, Sirius won’t stop banging on about how fucking good Remus is at all of this, how his mouth is fucking magic, and how he’s making Sirius all tingly.
It’s like a dream. A real dream brought to life or something. Remus really pinched himself at one moment to make sure he wasn’t actually dreaming it up.
But no. It’s real. And Sirius’ is enjoying it. And Sirius wants Remus to finger him. And Sirius wants to have sex with Remus.
Remus is almost certain that Sirius just… isn’t actually into girls at this point. Or at the very least, is into guys in one way or another.
Remus grabs the lube from under Sirius’ back, where he’d landed on it a while ago when taking off his trousers. He pops the cap and squeezes a big glob of lube onto his fingers before spreading it around a little.
Sirius gazes up at him, his legs are slightly open, spread around Remus’ own knees, all just… naked for him. His gaze is heavy lidded, and Remus fights the urge to look further downward.
“Just be nice, yeah?” Sirius asks, a finger reaching out to draw over a scar on Remus’ middle. “I haven’t been fingered or anything before, so… do you think it will hurt?”
Remus shakes his head, “Ah… I did it to myself once. If you go slow it doesn’t… I’ll go slow.”
“Okay.” Sirius blushes again, “You really are the best, Moonshine.”
Merlin, that name? Oh, Remus is starting to lose it. He’s actually going to lose his mind about it. It’s bad enough as is, when Sirius calls him that just out and about. It makes his heart race and his stomach fill with butterflies.
But here? Now? Well, Remus is going to implode. He’s so, so fucking into Sirius it’s sickening.
“Thanks.” Remus mutters, reaching a sticky finger down between Sirius’ legs, “Erm, is that… are you…. Can I?”
“Yeah.” Sirius breathes, his eyes falling shut, “O-oh, fuck, yeah. Oh, Moony, you’re so… mhm, you’re so good at this.”
Remus’ brain melts a little more, because he hasn’t actually done anything. Really, his finger is just sitting there, only the very tip of it has pushed inside and Sirius is there acting like Remus is just about to make him cum.
Sirius really can’t be straight. He’s either really good at faking it, or really, really gay.
Remus hopes for the latter.
“What about that? Hurt?”
“No.” Sirius hums, smiling to himself as he turns his head into the pillows, his hands gripping the sheets, “No, s’good. Oh, Moonbeam, you’re- oh, you’d never… never hurt me. Never hurt me, baby. S’good.”
Remus has suddenly lost all coherent thought.
☆ ★ ☆
Sirius feels euphoric.
Really, he wishes he had sex with Remus earlier because this is just fucking brilliant. Remus is really just so good.
When Sirius has sex with girls, he feels kinda good physically a lot. Like, his cock likes it, he supposed. But it’s usually really boring. It’s just not all that great, he doesn’t get why James likes sex so much.
But like, with Moony? Well, everything is great. He’s just really good at it, and he must know exactly what he’s doing because no matter what it just makes Sirius feel so amazing.
Physically and emotionally. Like, everywhere. He feels like a live wire.
“R-Remus.” He stutters out, because he’s not very good at talking anymore. He’s mostly just loudly moaning and stuff. Like, it’s so loud that Remus actually stopped midway through to cast a silencing charm so people outside the dorm wouldn’t hear. “Oh, fuck, Remus. Please, can you just fuck me?”
“Shit.” Remus moans, “F-fuck, yeah. You… you sure? You sure you want that?”
Sirius nods, because if Remus fingering him is this good, then he really wants to find out about the rest of it.
“Yeah, please.” Sirius said, “Really, really, please, Moonybaby. Oh, fuck- you’re so- you’re so good at- uh.”
“Fucking- okay, yeah.” Remus chokes out, pulling his hand away from Sirius.
He can’t help but whine about it, feeling so cold and empty. He reaches out to cling to Remus, but all he gets are glorious, sweaty, scarred thighs.
He lifts his head when he hears a wet sound, and watches Remus smear some lube over himself, quite entranced by it. He watches the slick glide of Remus’ wonderful hands and wishes it was himself between those magical fingers.
Remus comes closer, and Sirius immediately grabs for him. His arms sling around Remus’ neck, fingers sifting in through hair and clawing at his back.
“Oh, Moony.” Sirius moans, kissing him as much as Remus will let him, “Please. Oh, you’re so… oh, R-Remus.”
“Bloody hell, Sirius.” Remus grunts, pressing in as close as he can. His whole body shivers as he slowly sinks down, Sirius whining helplessly in his ear. He can’t help it, it feels so fucking good, just like he thought. “Oh, fuck, you’re so- so hot. So fucking… oh, fuck.”
Sirius can’t stop kissing, everywhere. Anywhere his lips can reach he’s attaching himself to Remus. It really is quite delightful, getting fucked by his sex god best friend.
He thinks about recommending it to James, but thankfully James is a committed man. Then perhaps Peter, but- no, they’ve already kissed, they’ve done enough. Besides, Sirius is apparently homophobic about that so he probably shouldn’t suggest it.
Maybe he’ll just tell everyone Remus is really bad, so no one else goes and fucks him- yeah, that sounds good. No one else gets to have him, only Sirius.
He’s probably a really bad friend for that, but, well, he doesn’t really care right now because Remus is just making him feel so, so good. Like, really lucky.
☆ ★ ☆
Sirius is clinging to Remus like he’s his life line. It’s probably the best feeling in the world. And yes, that includes the feeling of been balls deep inside Sirius.
Both are fucking amazing, but being clung too by Sirius beats it by just a smidgen.
He’s shaking, actually, so much to the point that Remus had thought he’d done something wrong. But no, Sirius has assured him it’s purely because he just feels fucking amazing. That Remus is doing a bang on job.
Really, Remus isn’t sure why Sirius keeps saying such things. Like, sure, now it’s fine because Remus has found a rhythm and gotten more comfortable doing this, but he was so awkward those first few thrusts. They were miscalculated, and kinda desperate, and just not very good, he could tell. But still, Sirius had said it’s the best feeling ever.
Remus doesn’t know what to do with himself. So he just lets his body do whatever the hell it needs. And what it needs is to make Sirius finish, and apparently, to say dumb shit he’s going to regret later.
“You’re so… so fucking pretty, baby.” He mutters, kissing Sirius between each few words, “So good, so gorgeous. Feels so good- so good. Oh you’re just so good, so-“
Remus reels back, because Sirius is thrashing almost violently, and is getting louder and- Remus looks down to find white smeared all over Sirius’ stomach.
Sirius doesn’t give Remus time to process that before he’s pulling him down into a deep kiss and thrusting his own hips up to meet Remus’.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.” Sirius is muttering on repeat, smattering kisses everywhere on Remus’ face as he chases his own. “Oh, so- so good, Moonshine. You’re so good, too good to me.”
Remus presses their foreheads together as he cums and kisses Sirius midway through. When he pulls away, Sirius is dazed.
He has a faraway, dreamy look in his eyes and a relaxed smile on his lips. His cheeks are bright pink, a stark contrast to his pale complexion, and his skin shimmers with sweat.
Oh, he really is just so fucking pretty.
“Fuck.” Remus grunts, shifting until he’s laying down beside Sirius, both on their backs, shoulders overlapped.
Sirius whines as Remus slips away, and shivers slightly. Remus grabs his jumper off the pillow and lays it over Sirius’ chest like a blanket.
“Hmm.” He hums, and closes his eyes.
Remus cleans them both up, reaching the end of the box of tissues on Sirius’ bedside. But they’re clean, so it’s fine.
They lie there in silence for a while. Remus feels the moment Sirius comes too again, stiffening beside him. It’s awkward, tense. Slowly, Sirius shucks Remus’ jumper off his chest and they both lie there, completely naked, staring at the roof.
They hear James and Peter come into the room, “Told you.”
“Don’t believe you.” James muttered back, “Pads, mate, you in here?”
“James, they’re probably having a meaningful conversation.” Peter huffs, “Look at the curtains.”
“Well, I want to see him.”
“You can later.” Peter offers, “Sirius, if you want James to come in, say something back.”
“Don’t come in!” Sirius shouts, and silence lingers outside.
“See, he doesn’t want you too.” Peter says after a while, “Completely silent.”
“The charm must still be on.” Remus muttered.
“Oh.” Sirius nodded.
“Fine.” James groaned, “Come to my bed later, Sirius. I’m going to sleep.”
Sirius and Remus lie there for a while, listening to James and Peter get ready for bed. Honestly, Remus is glad Peter didn’t say anything to James about them having sex.
Or, well, he doesn’t think he said anything.
Not that he’d be mad if James found out Remus is gay. He’s pretty sure James already knows. But, he’s sure Sirius would want to tell him about that. Sirius would probably have some strange things to say about it, so, it’s best if Sirius is the one to lay it all out there.
Once the room goes silent again, and the lights are all turned out, they dare a glance over at each other. Just as quickly, they look away.
Remus starts to feel a little guilty. He knows how he feels about Sirius, and Sirius clearly hadn’t felt the same way. At least not prior to now. So, he decides to bite the fucking bullet, despite his own judgments, and confessess.
“I liked that.”
“Yeah, me too.” Sirius nodded, eyes fixed on the roof, “Felt good. You made me cum really hard.”
Merlin, he really doesn’t make anything easy for Remus, does he?
“Yeah.” Remus nods, “But like… I liked it in a gay way.”
Sirius tenses beside him again.
“Erm, cause I’m gay.” Remus fills in, refusing to look anywhere but the stupid poster of a half naked motorbike girl on Sirius’ ceiling. “And I like you.”
“You… like me?” Sirius mumbles.
“Yeah.” Remus breathes, “A lot… I think you’re… brilliant. You’re really, really, fucking brilliant. And also really good at sex.”
Sirius swallowed, “So, do you think I’m pretty?”
“Yeah.” Remus nodded, “I said it, before.”
“I thought you might have just been doing sex talk.”
“Oh…” Remus swallows, “Were you just doing sex talk?”
“No.” Sirius shakes his head, “I just… no, it was all honest. But, girls often make up sex talk, so-“
“I’m not a girl.”
“Yeah, I know.” Sirius swallowed, “So you… you fancy me, for real?”
“Yeah.” Remus nods, “A lot.”
“Oh.”
Remus chewed on his lip.
“Excuse me.” Sirius muttered, and then climbed out of bed.
He didn’t even stop to put trousers on or anything. Remus listened as he walked over and pulled back the curtains of James’ bed.
“Oh, Sirius, hey, I- Merlin! Where are your clothes?”
“Over there. Remus and I had sex.”
There was silence for a while before James said back, “What?”
“Remus and I had sex.”
“When?” James asked, fucking gobsmacked.
“Just then.” Sirius said, “Before you came into the room.”
“Wh- why?”
“It was your idea!” He said defensively, “You said I should just fuck Remus, so I did. I fucked Remus- or, rather, he fucked me.”
“And you just decided to come tell me this, still very naked?”
“Yeah.” Sirius said, “I think I can still feel his cum inside-“
“Bloody hell, Sirius. You know he can- just, get in.”
“Do you want me to put clothes on?”
“Merlin, I don’t care, just…”
“He’s gay, you know?” Remus heard Sirius shuffle into the bed, “Said he likes me.”
“Wow, really?” James gasped, “I had no fucking idea. It’s not like he stares at you longingly or anything.”
“Oh…” Sirius mumbled, “I think I’m homophobic, by the way.”
“Sorry?”
“Yeah, he said he kissed Pete and that made me feel kind of nauseous.”
There was another long stretch of silence, and then from his own bed, Peter muttered, “You owe me twenty gallons, James.”
“Fuck.” James muttered, drawing the curtains around them, “Look, Sirius, you’re not homophobic.”
“Erm, yes I am.” Sirius said in defence, “Why else would I get mad about Remus getting involved with other blokes?”
“Oh, Sirius.” James sighed, and cast a silencing charm around them.
☆ ★ ☆
Remus is startled awake by the curtains swishing back. Not that he slept very deeply, just a little nap. He’s still in Sirius’ bed. He was too anxious to move.
Now that he sees Sirius standing there, still very naked, he feels like he should have left.
Sirius lifts up the corner of his blanket and slides under, closing the curtain around them before casting another silencing charm.
He tugs at the sheet and gestures for Remus to get under. And then they both lie there again, shoulder to shoulder, staring at the roof.
“You okay?” Remus asks after a long silence. He feels so awkward about it.
“Yep.” Sirius nods, “Just… trying to figure out the least scary way to ask you to be my boyfriend.”
Remus’ heart falls out from under him, “What?”
“Oh.” Sirius mutters, “I guess I just did, didn’t I?”
“Are you serious?” Remus gasps, turning to look at him.
Sirius smirks and turns his head slowly to look back at Remus.
“Don’t answer that.” He mutters, “I’m…”
“Yeah.” Sirius nods, genuinity behind his pretty, pale eyes, “Erm, yeah, James told me I’m gay.”
“What?” Remus gaped, “What do you mean he told you you were gay?”
Sirius shrugged, “Like, I’ve been gay this whole time, and I really like you. I just didn’t know it, is all. I thought I was homophobic, can you believe that? James just made me realise I was jealous.”
“Jealous… of Peter?”
“Yes. Never look at him again, please.” Sirius said sternly.
Remus furrowed his brow, looking at Sirius in shock.
Sirius broke into a grin, “I’m kidding. But really, I did get jealous. I’m jealous about you a lot. It’s why I get so angry at you sometimes.”
“Oh.” Remus swallowed, “That…”
“Yeah.” Sirius smiled, laughing at himself softly, “It’s stupid. I’m stupid.”
“You’re not.” Remus corrects, “You’re really smart. You’re the smartest person I know. Sometimes this stuff is just really hard, I get it. I know.”
He blushes, and it’s fucking adorable. It’s always adorable.
“You’re so sweet, Moony.” Sirius hums, kissing Remus’ shoulder, “So, will you?”
“Will I what?”
“Be mine?” He asks.
“Oh…” Remus’ heart is racing. It’s going so fast, beating so hard he can feel it in his throat, “Yes. Fuck, yes please.”
Sirius breaks out into the most brilliant smile before rolling over and wrapping himself around Remus, “Yay.”
Remus hugs him back, entangling their legs together and hoping they never have to untangle, “You really mean it?”
“Yeah.” Sirius hums, pressing his lips to Remus’ skin a few times, “Oh, I was so crazy for not knowing it, Moonshine. I’m mental about you.”
Remus feels extatic, “I’m mental about you too, sweetheart.”
“Oh, I really like that.” Sirius mused, “I really like you.”
Remus chuckled, “Okay, sweetheart.”
Sirius hums, content, snuggling closer into Remus’ side, “God, imagine my mother now. Not just shagging an unregistered werewolf bloke, but now he’s my boyfriend?”
“She’d have a heart attack.”
“Good.” Sirius smiled, “Oh, I love when everything just comes together like this. James is so exited. He owes Pete a lot of money, they’ve been betting on us for ages.”
Remus snorts, “I think Pete’s been cheating then. He’s known I’m into you for ages.”
Sirius snorts, “Of course he is.” He lifts his head to kiss Remus sweetly, “Let me take you out on a date, Moonybaby?”
Remus melted, sighing against Sirius’ lips, “Yeah, please.”
“Oh, I’m gonna woo you so hard, you won’t even know what hit you.” Sirius smiled, “And then we’re gonna shag so much again, because I didn’t know shagging was actually fun.”
Remus snorts and kissed Sirius some more, “I did, I was just waiting for you to prove it.”
The way that Sirius swooned made Remus feel like he was on top of the fucking world.
⋅⋆ ☼ ☆ ☾ ☆ ☼ ⋆⋅
HAPPY HORNY SATURDAY! i hope you enjoyed this one, it was very fun to write. just a silly little bit of smut because why the hell not, i say?!
don't forget to reblog and commentary is ALWAYS welcome here. thankies!
Since you guys were interested I’m just tagging you here :)) hope you enjoyed!! <3 @stranger200-blog @addsalwayssick
Enough people have said that they wanted it so here is the list to every Marauders era character that I could find.
There are 161 characters listed. A few are ocs of mine but the ones who are canon are also equipped with as much information on them as I could find. I’ve also included some of my headcanons for the ones who I have headcanons for. You can completely ignore the headcanons if you like or you could take some of them on board with your own, it’s completely your choice. I have made it very clear what is canon and what are headcanons.
Please note that I originally made this list for myself to help me organise all of the characters in order to make placing them in my fics easier. This is not supposed to be some introduction to the marauder’s guide or anything like that. My reason for sharing this is to hopefully encourage people to use the more unknown characters in their own interpretation of the era.
Also, it’s not finished I will be constantly editing it (though obviously everything canon will stay the same)
tangentwithtanner
yousharknotpass
romaincrisis
jacobvanloon
gummygunk
baratheonpilled
jbbartram-illu
janainaart
