when i was in grade 5 some kid told me the song “wake me up when september ends” was about 9/11 and i believed him until like three years ago
i cried so hard when we watched the lion king in first grade that my teacher called my parents and sent me home early
in high school i was questioned by the principal over drug use because i accidentally left my notebook in the bathroom and a teacher opened it to a drawing of an anime character saying “all i want for christmas is weed” but really i was a repressed nerd and never smoked a weed in my life
i made a joke about anal fissures in front of my extremely religious roommate and i thought she was gonna yell at me but instead she asked what an anal fissure was
i thought hatsune miku was a real person
in grade 8 i got in trouble for saying vagina in science class so the teacher made me fill out this stupid discipline worksheet and one of the questions was “how do i feel about what i did”
i answered “good”
“again, weird, but also technically not a sin”
