Superfast jellyfish,

[pronouncingitwang]

at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you

[yokowan]

at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.

[le-jardin-inculte]

at some point in your life you will be making some sort of cream based dessert that requires gelatin to thicken it. and you will soak some gelatin sheets in water and think "this is too few gelatin sheets for this amount of cream." this is the devil speaking. it will thicken in the fridge and if you add too much you will end up with milk jelly

[shithowdy]

at some point in your life you will be baking cookies. you will take the sheet out after twelve minutes as the recipe instructs and the cookies will still be glistening and soft. "these don't seem cooked enough," you will think to yourself, "i should place them back into the oven until their edges are nice and golden." this is the devil talking. this is how you get dry, overdone cookies. the cookies will continue to bake on the warm sheet for several more minutes and then harden up after sitting on a rack for a while. trust the process. trust the process.

[apatheticfluorescence]

some hyper famous artists like Van Gogh transcend overratedness and become underrated because they're so normalized. Like I'll look at a van Gogh and I'm like wait this really is amazing you guys don't get it

[headspace-hotel]

Shakespeare is like this

[insufferablepirate]

Every time I see a Van Gogh that’s not one of his better known pieces it absolutely blows me away

Have you seen this shit my liege? smh unreal

[pangur-and-grim]

[decompose1]

real exchange i overheard between two of my bosses. ????

[filmphotofranz]

[mattpresents]

How do you know you're not Asexual? Maybe you just haven't met the right nobody.

[cheaphalloweencostume]

just an update from the outside world, KFC has a new commercial that parodies ortolan bunting (has people cover their head with a cloth before eating the new KFC sandwich because it’s so good it’s sinful or whatever) and i’ve seen nonstop christian freakouts on facebook about how “openly demonic” KFC is becoming

[butch-king-frankenstein]

[cheaphalloweencostume]

peace and love i dont think the poultry restaurant learned about ortolan bunting from Hannibal and then decided to parody it without looking into it further

[vedurnan-archive]

[cheaphalloweencostume]

yesterday my grandma found a penny on the floor and said to my grandpa “there’s that penny again, pa!” and i absolutely lost my mind because i couldn’t shelve the thought of a single panel Far Side comic of two old people on the front porch in the middle of nowhere and a giant penny angrily and inexplicably rolling through the wastes

“there’s that penny again, pa!”

[secreteggplantbaby]

[cheaphalloweencostume]

this is hands down my single favorite post ive ever made that got notes

[morgannalefey]

I sincerely hope that the OP realizes that gramma was very likely quoting that cartoon.

[cheaphalloweencostume]

the cartoon that was drawn and posted based on my post? probably not, but i guess we can never know

[deanwinchesterapologist]

wyatever. go my springsteen

[apolladay]

Before you are two magic buttons. Button A: you will never have to clean your kitchen again (dishes are automatically done; floor swept and mopped; etc). Button B: you will never have to clean your bathroom again (toilet & sink & tub/shower cleaned and sanitized; etc) Which button do you push?

A

B

Voting ended onJun 3

[heliophile-oxon]

So many comments, many of them wise and all of them heartfelt, and yet nobody has thought to add ...

the fridge-freezer is in the kitchen. Not only are there dishes every day, not only are there food preparation surfaces of various kinds every day, not only are there crumbs and odds and ends that fall on the floor every day ... but the fridge-freezer is in the kitchen. The oven is in the kitchen, the food cupboards are in the kitchen, and above all THE KITCHEN BIN IS IN THE KITCHEN.

I mean, it's not like the bathroom is all sweetness and light, but seriously! Who in their right mind is choosing the bathroom?!?!?!?

Ils sont fous, ces Romains tumblrains.

[jillyyfish]

lmfao are we relitigating graded exercise therapy again

[orcboxer]

I have just combined all rice in the world into a single rouse

[only-tiktoks]

[ouroborosorder]

Shoutouts to the time I had a severe fever and took benedryl and wanted to listen to feel good inc but couldn’t remember the name. I think I was crying over this

[jillyyfish]

fuck 😍 ok

[battlecrazed-axe-mage]

We've all gotten just a bit too comfortable being jerks to strangers on the internet I think

[battlecrazed-axe-mage]

So I've hidden this reply, both because it's obnoxious and because I don't want the person who wrote it being harassed for it, but I need you to understand: I don't know you. We are not friends. This is not fun or cute, we are not sharing a charming joke together. You are just being an asshole.

[battlecrazed-axe-mage]

literally that is what the post is about, I am saying people should be less eager to jump on any chance to be snarky and rude to total strangers on the internet

[sidedere]

DID THE JOURNAL FACTORY FUCKING EXPLODE???

you said it yourself: you're looking to vent it LITERALLY ANYWHERE

so vent it somewhere private. or at least not literally aimed AT another person, a total stranger at that

Like, this reblogger sounds so insanely self centered in their reblog. notice how both options focus on how being rude would affect THEM. "B has no consequences for me so it's perfectly fine to do"

(the only reason I didn't show their username in the screenshot is because, given how self victimizing they sound in their reblog, I believe that, if I did show their username, suddenly online stuff wouldn't seem so inconsequential to them and they'd accuse me of sending harrassment their way and putting them in danger)

[battlecrazed-axe-mage]

You said it better than I could. Of all the inane and ridiculous things I've seen in my notes because of this post, "I NEED to say fuck you to strangers or I will literally die" is certainly one of them

[jillyyfish]

boiling hot water?