like a blunt force lobotomy

21 • they/them • D1 professional bullshitter

[couldbeanybody]

new year new me!

(got bangs and turned evil)

[fursasaida]

adult life is truly just thinking “I NEED TO CLEAN” while dealing with the 17 other things that have a hard deadline

[softichill]

I think abt this tiktok all the time

[thesadcyborg9million]

Diversity hire bryson ur absolutely slaying

[yujateaandpi]

Was driving with my grandmother and in broken English she says “no eyes… no nose… no face. Don’t trust.” To which I looked around wildly in search of this omen of ill portend.

Cybertruck. It was a cybertruck.

[satan-offical]

Rating some of my recent one liners:

"You'll find out when you're older" said when someone asks a question that they'll know the answer to in like two weeks, 7/10, gets a laugh but gets old after five times

"Is the ground okay?" said when someone trips or drops something, 5/10, overused and slightly overrated

"It's okay, I forgive you" said when someone explains something about themselves or just generally says anything (E.G: "Yeah I haven't gone to the gym in a while" "It's okay I forgive you"), 10/10, everyone loves this, no notes

[yardsards]

but i stay silly! *←said in the most world-weary voice you ever did hear*

[fizzlepop-frog]

“but I stay silly!”

[sensiblereblogifposts]

Reblog you stay silly

[weaselle]

on it boss

[kosmogrl]

[moghedien]

I feel like I need to share this because idk if Europeans are familiar with the presence of Aldi in the US, but at least especially in my area they’ve been growing a lot recently. Like Aldi bought out some local failing grocery chains where I live (Louisiana) and have opened Aldis in all these somewhat rural communities and small towns, which for the record I’m fine with

But as a result of this they are advertising a lot more in my area and also in many cases, the people in these areas have never been confronted with Aldi or any European grocery store. So the ads that Aldi is pushing out to its new US customer base feature a cowboy shopping at Aldi who is explaining to new Aldi customers how Aldi works. Like this cowboy is explaining you gotta put a quarter in the shopping cart and why there are very little name brands. A cowboy is how they want to reach their American customer base. They gave us a cowboy

[moghedien]

Here he is, the Aldi Cowboy

[kosmogrl]

[quakerjoe]

[beardedmrbean]

Congratulations on the cat

[chickensnack]

TUESDAY AGAIN NO PROBLEM

[yarrow-heather-and-hollyhock]

I love this little bit by Cathon

[ironmaidenhead]

things haven't been fergalicious in a real long time

[beardedmrbean]

[cuunos]

being a kid and hearing adults say stuff like "woah 2011 was 4 years ago haha" didn't really convey the fucking horror of a youtube video crossing my recommended labelled "9 years ago" and it's from 2017. that's not true. 9 years ago is 2010 or something. don't lie.

[mgs5]