Balletomane / Polyglot / TBD @coupdegrac-i-e - Tumblr Blog

vvitchy

animentality

wizardgender

reblog and share things to do on the internet with a room full of friends

thelovers-thedreamers-and-me

i play a game called “So You’ve Got This Special Guy” in which i go on etsy and look up something like “gifts for him” or “gifts for boyfriend” or whatever and find whatever deranged shit etsy recommends buying for a man knowing only that he is a man.

i then interrupt my friends who are probably having a better conversation with “so, you’ve got this special guy, right?” and when they agree that they do, i describe the exact guy that would want that sort of thing. (“and your special guy, he goes to bed, and he doesn’t have a place to put the things he has in his jean pockets which he wears to bed, which is, of course, his phone, an eiffel tower keyring with no keys on it, one (1) ring, a bullet vibrator or something, his canadian money clip with american change, both his watches, and his fucking gun, right? he has all those things and needs all of them at the ready in the dead of night right next to his head, because he’s too busy being the best dad to put his gun in a safe or whatever?”)

i then cap it off with “well, do i have the gift for you!” and show them an image like this

hours of fun for me and hours of “jesus christ bert can we do something else” for my buds

egg-tats

two things:

1) great bit, love the bit, you should be proud of the bit

2) I think that’s a case for offbrand earpods, but assuming it’s a bullet vibe makes for a much richer special guy experience, I feel

thelovers-thedreamers-and-me

listen, i am here to provide 2 things to my closest buds- amazing bits and the specialest guys i can possibly muster. if that means i forget that airpods are a thing and assume that Daddy Gunfucker has a bullet vibe in his everyday carry just in case, that’s just what it takes

girlmostlikely

Love her

hallownest-archive-deactivated2

imo the best way to interpret those “real people don’t do x” writing advice posts is “most people don’t do x, so if a character does x, it should be a distinguishing trait.” human behavior is infinitely varied; for any x, there are real people who do x. we can’t make absolute statements. we can, however, make probabilistic ones.

for example, most people don’t address each other by name in the middle of a casual conversation. if all your characters do that, your dialogue will sound stilted and unnatural. but if just one character does that, then it tells us something about that character.

jauntylittlefrillyboy

midnightssea

The original tweet is the corniest thing I’ve ever fucking seen

ovenroastedtwerkey

A. They're not gonna tip you, periodt. So already the $10mil is looking better.

B. They're not gonna talk to you, so any "business advice" you thought was gonna be worth more than $10mil, that's null and void, aint happening.

C. Here's the real secret of their "success"; they're all bad people. That's literally it. They're willing to lie, steal, cheat, bully, oppress, rape, etc to get what they want, and their appetites are never sated, so they never stop lying, cheating, etc. You don't get that kind of money through hard honest work. If you're willing to be a big enough piece of shit, you could easily be one of these guys.

So yeah, if someone's offering that choice, get it in writing and stay the hell away from these creeps.