Listen, staning politicians is bad. We must remain critical of people in power.
However it is funny to watch Republicans act like this man is the devil incarnate.
This is democratic vice presidential nominee Tim Walz Gov. Of Minnesota. This man looks like if a capybara was a person. He looks like he'd pull over on the side of the road and help you change a flat tire. He looks like he'd offer you hot coco from his thermos if you were out ice fishing with him.
After he was picked yesterday, Trump/MAGA literally sent out an all-caps email blast proclaiming, and this is a direct quote, TIM WALZ WILL UNLEASH HELL ON EARTH!!!
So now I'm just picturing Tim Walz, Evil Overlord of the Minnesota State Fair, standing among his evil plaid-shirt-wearing minions being like OPE, JUST GONNA BEHEAD YA REAL QUICK THERE, and then, I dunno, bringing hotdish to the End of Days Community Dinner for all the demons saying NO NO AFTER YA. In other words: good luck selling that one, turdgobblers. Lmao.
“I’ve been a massage therapist for many years, now. I know what people look like. People have been undressing for me for a long time. I know what you look like: a glance at you, and I can picture pretty well what you’d look like on my table. Let’s start here with what nobody looks like: nobody looks like the people in magazines or movies. Not even models. Nobody. Lean people have a kind of rawboned, unfinished look about them that is very appealing. But they don’t have plump round breasts and plump round asses. You have plump round breasts and a plump round ass, you have a plump round belly and plump round thighs as well. That’s how it works. And that’s very appealing too. Woman have cellulite. All of them. It’s dimply and cute. It’s not a defect. It’s not a health problem. It’s the natural consequence of not consisting of photoshopped pixels, and not having emerged from an airbrush. Men have silly buttocks. Well, if most of your clients are women, anyway. You come to male buttocks and you say – what, this is it? They’re kind of scrawny and the tissue is jumpy because it’s unpadded; you have to dial back the pressure, or they’ll yelp. Adults sag. It doesn’t matter how fit they are. Every decade, an adult sags a little more. All of the tissue hangs a little looser. They wrinkle, too. I don’t know who put about the rumor that just old people wrinkle. You start wrinkling when you start sagging, as soon as you’re all grown up, and the process goes its merry way as long as you live. Which is hopefully a long, long time, right? Everybody on a massage table is beautiful. There are really no exceptions to this rule. At that first long sigh, at that first thought that “I can stop hanging on now, I’m safe” – a luminosity, a glow, begins. Within a few minutes the whole body is radiant with it. It suffuses the room: it suffuses the massage therapist too. People talk about massage therapists being caretakers, and I suppose we are: we like to look after people, and we’re easily moved to tenderness. But to let you in on a secret: I’m in it for the glow. I’ll tell you what people look like, really: they look like flames. Or like the stars, on a clear night in the wilderness.”
Kids are horny. Kids will be horny no matter what. Teach them to have safe sex with other kids that they know and trust and want to have sex with, not with their weird boyfriend who keeps saying “But you said you love me, so this should be fine, right?”
Teach them consent is important. That they can say no halfway through. That if your partner says no halfway through, you have to stop and respect that and understand that doesn’t mean they hate you.
For fuck’s sake “abstinence” hasn’t helped anyone. Teach kids about sex and keep them safe.
But also, some kids just aren’t horny, and we should also tell those kids they aren’t broken and their boundaries and consent matter just as much as for their peers who are horny.
1) All kids should know the actual truth about how sex works before they reach the age where they can become pregnant or make someone else pregnant. The number of people who end up dealing with a pregnancy before they learn how that happens is unfortunately not zero.
2) All kids should know how best to protect against possible unwanted consequences of sex, like pregnancy and disease. They should be taught how to prepare, and they should also be taught what to do if they forget to prepare protection, the protection fails, or G-d forbid, they are assaulted. Plan B and post-exposure prophylaxis are things that they should be able to get if needed.
3) All kids should know that some people naturally become horny when their hormones get going, some people take a while to get there, and some people NEVER EVER get horny, and all of this is OK and fine and 100% normal for humans.
4) All kids should be taught–from birth onward–that they never have to let anyone touch them without their consent, and they are not allowed to touch other people without their consent. Yes this means you can’t spank your kids; yes this means you can’t make them kiss Grandma if they don’t want to; yes this means that you can’t act like unwanted pursuit of another child is cute because they’re 5, because in 10 years it will not be cute at all. It might even mean long discussions about why we agree to let doctors do things to us that hurt sometimes, and this is a pain in the ass, but sometimes good parenting is going to be a pain in the ass.
As someone abused by doctors as a child and an adult, it’s super important to teach your child that consent applies to doctors too. Consent applies to all authority figures. Teaching kids that no one can touch them without their consent except for certain people with extra power over them is setting them up to think abuse from authority is normal and something they’re supposed to put up with.
Attn: So this shit got way outta hand 🤣 apparently Sy being a doting husband to his pregnant wife really gets me going. I had to stop or this fic would’ve been stupid long lol. I hope y’all enjoy it!
Word Count: 3,432
Pairing: Sy x Wife Reader
Summary: Sy takes care of you as you go through the different struggles of pregnancy.
Warnings: smidge of pregnancy related anxiety, 18+, horniness, being super wet, sex (p in v), oral (female receiving), multiple orgasms, pregnancy related things (pap smear, vaginal ultrasound, morning sickness, being emotional, cravings, swollen breasts)
Previous Part:
Part Fifteen
The evening you found out you were pregnant Sy came in early with a bottle of prenatals for you. “Shit I meant to get those. Should’ve been taking them this whole time,” you said. “Yeah I was reading online these were the best. Don’t worry though, darlin’. You’ll be takin’ them now,” he said as he wrapped you up in his arms. “I still can’t believe we’re having a baby,” you smiled. “I know. I’m gonna take the best care of you darlin’,” he told you. “I know Sy,” you said before giving him a kiss.
“I called and got my first appointment set up. It’s next Tuesday at nine,” you told him as you stirred up your bowl of cheesy chicken broccoli rice, mixing the cheese in. “Alright baby. I’ll be home that day and go with you,” he said. “You will?,” you asked. “Well of course. I’m gonna be at every appointment”, he assured you. You smiled brightly. “I didn’t know. You never miss work,” you said. “Making sure you’re healthy is my number one priority right now little darlin’, closely followed by making sure our baby is healthy,” he said before giving you a kiss.
“I love you,” you said, stopping what you were doing and wrapping your arms around him. “I love you too,” he smiled. You took his face in your hands and kissed him firmly. “Mmm,” he hummed as you deepened the kiss. “Make love to me Sy,” you murmured, as you brought him back with you against the kitchen island. You jumped up onto it, wrapping your legs around him and bringing him closer. “Right here baby?,” he asked. “Mmhmm,” you said as you pushed off your leggings and panties.
Sy reached down and ran his fingers through your wet cunt. “Damn darlin’ you sure are wet. Which you’re always wet but this is…,” he trailed off as he brought his fingers up to show you. “It’s all for you Sy,” you breathed. “Shit,” he said as he hastily undid his belt and let his pants hit the floor. He toed his shoes off before kicking them and the pants to the side and giving his underwear the same treatment. He pulled you to the edge of the counter, holding you close as the tip teased your entrance.
You draped your hands around his neck as you ground against him, slipping the head in just a little. “What are you waiting for baby?,” you asked sultrily. “You’re being so damn sexy right now I forgot what I was supposed to be doin’,” he laughed. You kissed him sensually. “You’re supposed to be putting that fat cock of yours in me,” you told him. “Fuck’s sake woman,” he said before he eased into you. You both groaned as he hit bottom. Your thighs were shaking so badly Sy looked at you in concern.
“Baby what-,” he began. “Extra blood flow down there now that I’m pregnant. I’m so sensitive Sy,” you whined. “Aw sweetheart. You need me bad dontcha?,” he asked. “Yes,” you sighed as you leaned back onto the counter. “I’m happy to oblige,” he growled as he grabbed you by the hips and started thrusting into you. You were moaning loudly, the sound of your extra wet pussy and skin slapping skin overtaking your senses.
“Fuck baby. You’re so warm and wet. Even tighter than normal,” he said as he ran his hands up under your shirt to toy with your nipples. With one roll of his thumbs you were coming. “Again,” you pleaded once the first orgasm ebbed. Sy left one hand on your nipple while the other came down to your clit. He ran his thumb over it while he kept pounding you.
You started to tighten up again and Sy looked at you in awe. Your body, tense, eyes screwed shut, as your jaw hung slack moans and nonsensical words leaving your lips. If this was what pregnant sex was like, the thought of just keeping you pregnant crossed his mind before he quickly pushed the thought away. “That’s right baby, take what you want,” he encouraged right before you came again. He made you come like that one more time before you asked him to stop.
“What’s wrong darlin’?,” he asked as you pushed him back. You got down and tore your shirt off before laying your top half flat onto the counter and sticking your ass out towards him. “Shit baby. You want me to take you like this?,” he asked as he ran his hands up your bare ass. “Please Sy,” you said. He quickly reentered you before giving you what you wanted. You were coming so quickly you’d gone three more times before Sy ever came. He pumped into a few more times before smacking both ass cheeks lightly. When he pulled out slowly you came again. Your greedy cunt sucking his cum back up into you as it tried to spill out.
“I dunno how I’m gonna survive this pregnancy darlin’. You’re gonna have me wore slap out,” he laughed as you turned and wrapped yourself around him. “I think you can take it,” you teased, making him laugh. “You know I can’t say no to my baby. You can have whatever you want,” he said before giving you a kiss and caressing your face softly. “Right now your baby wants a shower then some supper. Let’s go,”you said taking him by the hand.
As you stood pressed against him letting him wash you off, tiredness surged over you. “You fallin’ asleep on me there baby?,” he asked as he held you close. “Just tired all of the sudden,” you told him. “Well we’re all done sweetheart let’s get outta here and get you something to eat,” he said with a kiss. You dressed then made your way to the kitchen, Sy telling you to go sit while he fixed your plate. You wolfed it down, surprised at how hungry you were before you and Sy cuddled up in his recliner. He threw a blanket over you two while you nuzzled in close to him.
You were so relaxed there in his arms you fell asleep. Sy hadn’t realized and was trying to tell you something before he looked down and saw your sleeping face. He smiled softly to himself before carrying you to bed.
The next week went about the same but Tuesday was finally here and you were sitting anxiously in your obgyn’s office waiting to be seen. “You alright baby?,” Sy asked. “I’m just nervous. What’s if somethings wrong? Or if- if I lost the baby,” you said tears in your eyes. “Hey now. Sweetheart I’m sure everything’s fine, and if you did… I know it’ll be heartbreakin’ but when you’re ready we could always try again,” he said as he held you close. “You wouldn’t be upset or disappointed at me?,” you sniffled. He took your face in his hands and looked you in your eyes. “No baby. Never. I’d never do that,” he assured you before giving you a kiss.
“Syverson,” the nurse then called. Sy quickly wiped your tears away before you two went back. You got your vitals checked and they drew some blood before you went back to the room and they had you strip from the waist down. “Why’ve they got you naked darlin’?,” Sy mused. “They’re gonna do another pap since I’m pregnant now,” you told him. “Okay… don’t laugh at me but exactly what the hell is a pap? I’ve never talked about it with anybody before,” he admitted. “I’d never laugh at you baby, first of all. But they’re gonna put this speculum in my vagina, open me up a bit, then swab my cervix. I imagine they’ll have to do a vaginal ultrasound today too since I’m so early,” you told him.
He looked at you in horror. “But- but ain’t that terribly violatin’? You gotta do that every year too?,” questioned. “It’s not my favorite thing ever but they won’t do it again until later. Gotta check for some kind of bacteria pregnant women can get, then she’ll do cervical checks towards the end to see how I’m progressing before delivery. Also they only do paps every three to five years now unless there’s an issue but yeah. I had been getting them yearly since I was about sixteen since my periods were so bad,” you told him.
“When we get done having babies I’ll have a vasectomy. I’m telling you this right now because I don’t want you to even have to wonder. You’ve been through enough already and you ain’t hardly even started being pregnant,” he chuckled. “Sy,” you said softly. “What baby?,” he asked. “You need to stop talking. You’re making me wet,” you laughed. He grinned devilishly. “Yeah? Me being a man and doin’ the least thing I can do makes you wet sweetheart?,” he teased. “Shit yes. Do you know how many men won’t?,” you said seriously. “Buncha assholes,” he said offhandedly.
You calmed yourself down by time the doctor came in. She did the swab, Sy watching intently the entire time. He looked like he was ready to cuss her out at any second, if there had been any little sign of your discomfort, same with the ultrasound tech, but most of that melted away once the two of you saw your teeny tiny baby. “Alright, there’s the baby. Just a tiny little blip holding onto the nutritional sack there,” she told you. “Look our little peanut,” he said softly, tears shining in his eyes as he leaned down to kiss you. You’d had the calculation with your tracker but they confirmed your due date was February twelfth, much to Sy’s delight.
He held you close on the way out, you smiling down at the ultrasound pictures you’d been given. You slid across the bench seat close to him, still just looking. “I can’t wait until you’re all round darlin’,” he said as he caressed your lower abdomen. “Yeah?,” you asked. “Yeah. Gonna look so sexy and cute,” he said before he kissed you. His touch was setting your body on fire. You whimpered against his lips, needy for him as he ran a big hand up your thigh. “Sy. You’ve gotta stop until we get home,” you gasped as he kissed your neck. “I suppose you’re right darlin’,” he chuckled. He took you to lunch before taking you home and making love to you most of the day.
Things had been so good and you felt fine but around six weeks the morning sickness hit. You’d woken up right before Sy’s alarm and felt your stomach lurch. You hopped out of bed, your movements starling Sy and him being right behind you as you scurried to the toilet. He held your hair back as you emptied the contents of your stomach. “Oooh fuck,” you groaned before retching again. “You alright baby?,” he asked as he rubbed your back. “I think so,” you said shakily. He let your hair go and grabbed a cool wet rag to clean your face before helping you up so you could brush your teeth.
When you were done he held you close, running his hands over your body soothingly. “Let’s lay back down,” he told you. “You’ll be late,” you replied. “I don’t care,” he said before taking your hand and brining you back to bed. The next four weeks you were so sick you could hardly eat anything. One evening Sy came in and found you sleeping on the couch, Aika and Cookie curled up around you. He didn’t disturb you as he went to shower before going in the kitchen and cooking the two of you the chicken tenders you’d planned on searing up along with some cheesy ranch potato casserole.
When he was done he sat down on the floor in front of you and pushed some hair back out of your face, making you stir. “Sy,” you said groggily. “It’s me baby,” he told you. “Ugh. I’ve gotta get up and cook,” you groaned. “It’s already done baby. I got it,” he told you. You burst into tears. “Aw now don’t cry baby. What’s wrong?,” Sy asked with a furrowed brow. “You’ve been working all day and had to come home and cook too. I- I like making sure you have something to eat when you come in and today I- I slept through the afternoon,” you wailed.
“Baby,” Sy said softly as he pulled you down into his lap. “Baby look at me,” he said, gently pulling your head back so you’d face him. “You are working way harder than me right now. I can cook supper. It ain’t gonna kill me. I came in and saw you restin’. I wasn’t about to disturb you. Come on now. Please stop crying baby. You know I can’t bare it. Everything’s fine,” he assured you as he started kissing you sweetly. He held you tightly as you calmed down, tiredness washing over you after upsetting yourself so badly.
“Come on. Let’s go get something to eat,” he said as he rose from the floor with you in his arms. “I’m sorry,” you whimpered as he sat you down. “You ain’t got not one thing to be sorry for baby, okay?,” he told you. “Okay,” you nodded. You were actually able to eat and enjoy your food that Sy made so you were glad for that at least.
By the time you two got to bed you were exhausted. “Tired sweetheart?,” Sy asked as he ran his hand over your stomach. There was still no bump of course but he could hardly keep his hands off your lower abdomen since finding out you were pregnant. “A bit,” you told him. He put his face down by your stomach. “You need to stop giving your mama such a hard time Peanut,” he said softly. You both knew the baby couldn’t actually hear him yet but you appreciated the sentiment.
You smiled down at him as you ran a hand over his cropped hair. He kissed your stomach before making he way back up to you and kissing your lips. It was sweet, full of love, and making you emotional. “What’s wrong?,” Sy asked as he looked into your eyes. “You’re just so good to me Sy. I love you so much,” you told him. “I love you so much too baby. I’ll always be good to you. Treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Always gonna take of you. Always gonna love you,” he said, a kiss between each profession. You went to sleep that night more content than ever, Sy’s love washing over you in waves.
When the second trimester hit you were feeling a lot better. One day you had finished up your work and a craving for a chicken philly and some friend pickles from Rusty’s hit you so hard you weren’t about to deny it. You called it in before getting ready to go, before another problem arose. When Sy called you, you were pissed and red in the face. “Damn darlin’ what’s got you all riled up?,” he asked.
“I wanted some food from Rusty’s right? So I come in here to get ready and look at this bullshit,” you said as you panned the phone down to your chest. Your breasts were pushed so tightly into your bra and trying to spill over the top of it. “I’ve gone up probably two cup sizes. I can’t deal with this right now. I’m hungry and this shit hurts. Just the fabric against my nipples is just… Ugh!,” you groaned. “Baby,” he breathed eyes heavy with lust. “Yeah and that too. I’ve been so fucking wet all day I wanna scream. I’ve thought about touching myself but I know it won’t be as good as you Sy. So I’m hungry, and horny and can’t even go into town because my boobs decided to just grow overnight,” you whined.
“Hold on,” he said as he put the phone down. He came back quickly as was headed over to his Bronco. “What are you doing?,” you asked. “I can’t leave you unsatisfied like this baby. You want your food and your man? I can fix that. I’m going to get it and I’m coming home to give you what you want. I’ve gotta calm down. Im so fuckin’ hard right now,” he told you. You rubbed your legs together, trying to relieve some of the tension. “Really?,” you asked excitedly. “Hell yes. Look,” he said as he showed you his bulge. You could feel your mouth watering at the sight.
“I wanna ride it,” you murmured. “Yeah darlin’? You wanna ride your man’s hard cock? It’s all yours baby. You can do what you want with it,” he said huskily. “Fuck. Hurry up, okay? I’ll be waiting for you,” you told him. “Oh I plan on it. I love you,” he said. “I love you too,” you replied before hanging up. About ten minutes later Sy came tearing into the house. He sat your food on the counter and came looking for you.
“Hey,” you said sweetly as you lay on the bed stark naked. He pulled his clothes off before hovering over top of you and kissing you passionately. He made his way down and cupped your breasts. “These just about made me blow in my pants baby. Fuck they look so good,” he groaned before taking a nipple in his mouth, making you squeal. “Hurt?,” he asked concernedly. “No,” you breathed, giving him all the encouragement he needed to stay there and ravage your breasts. “Sy,” you whined desperately.
“Fuck,” he huffed as he slid down your body. He began running his big tongue over your clit sensually, taking his time. Your chest heaved at the feeling, your arousal quickly building. It didn’t take long and you were coming, your pussy aching badly as it clamped down around nothing. He made his way back up to you and you hurriedly pushed him onto his back. “Need you,” you whispered against his lips as you lined him up with your weeping hole. “Ohhh fuck,” he moaned as you saddled him to the hilt. Your legs shook around him as you breathed heavily.
“Take it. Take what you need baby,” he told you. You began rolling your hips lightly, grinding against him. The feeling was almost too much and you had hardly begun. You leaned back and splayed your hands across his chest and began riding him in earnest. You came, then you came again and again. After coming once more you began whimpering, hardly able to continue. Sy sat up and kissed you fervently. “You ready for me to take over darlin’?,” he asked. “Please,” you said airily.
He maneuvered you around so you were at the edge of the bed with him standing over you. He grabbed your thighs and pushed them back, putting your dripping cunt on display for him. He watched as he slowly sunk into you before pulling out and slapping his cock against your clit. You moaned a the feeling. He did it again and again until you came. “Sy,” you moaned. He watched again as he slid into you.
“Your pretty little pussy looks so good wrapped tight around me,” he told you. You leaned up on your elbows and watched him sliding in and out of you quickly before meeting his eyes. He nodded, pleased with the look on your face. “Looks good don’t it?,” he asked. “Yes,” you replied as you looked back down to where the two of you were connected. “Gonna come,” you said, licking your lips. “Give it to me”, he told you and you did. He gripped your thighs tighter as his pace faltered. “Dammit,” he said though gritted teeth before throwing his head back. You watched as his body tensed, bliss washing over his face as he filled you up full of him.
When he pulled out he watched some of it slipping out of you, before collecting it on his fingers and rubbing your clit with it. “Mmm,” you whined as he worked you over until you came again. “Shit baby. Let’s get cleaned up so you can eat,” he said, your stomach suddenly growling loudly. Sy’s chest rumbled with laugher as he led you to the bathroom. You ate your food and when you were done then cuddled up contently with Sy, promptly falling asleep in his big arms.
