Captain's Lounge

A spot for random reblogs of stuff I stumble upon

[owlmylove]

when ur drunk any bathroom is a save point

[owlmylove]

i have no memory of writing this

[mrockefeller]

A series of card illustrations I made for Dropmix- a card/ music game from Harmonix. I’d always wanted to make a series based on the seasons and this was the perfect opportunity!

[kitsure]

Recaptured Memories

[twybuns]

HOW IS 80s VOLTRON REAL I DONT GET IT

[paperprocessor]

@velliix

[talkgentlytome]

Tag yourself I’m the “Overdressed and Underappreciated”. Artist : http://www.mattadrian.com/ 

[byronb]

Happy Pokemon Day everyone! I finished this map of the Kanto region just in time for today and the print is available for preorder in my store. All Pokemon items in my store (including this map) are also 10% off until this Friday, March 2nd. 

Twitter

[samandfuzzy]

Important Corgi Facts

[gffa]

Star Wars Reimagined as Ghibli // by Lap Pun Cheung

[animalssittingoncapybaras]

[birdcheese]

Pizza Rat throws a city bird pizza party: pigeons, seagulls, crows, sparrows

[memeculture69]

[punkrorschach]

It’s extra funny bc the character actually is like a 20 year old girl who’s been cursed to look like that.

[darkeecofreak]

As a kid and I was always confused as to why Sophie just accepted being an old woman but I get it now.

[classicprogrammerpaintings]

“Team lead performs hotfix.”

Henry Fuseli

Oil on canvas

1783

Louvre, Paris, France

[whatsnextapollo]

In the movie The Santa Clause, one becomes Santa by putting on the red coat after the death of the previous Santa. Even ignoring how morbid this premise is on its own, it’s possible that there’s another even darker level to the story. When Scott Calvin shows up at the North Pole as the new Santa, not only do the elves not appear surprised, they seem happy to see him and not at all upset about the Santa he replaced. And furthermore, at the very beginning of the movie, we see an elf standing with a crowd of children outside a toy store near Scott’s house. Why would she already be there if she didn’t have some sort of prior knowledge of what was going to occur? This leaves me no choice but to conclude that the elves not only hated the previous Santa but actually orchestrated his demise.

tl;dr: In The Santa Clause, the elves totally murdered the previous Santa.

[whatsnextapollo]

Update: In The Santa Clause 2, the Easter Bunny says kids are 86% happier since Scott became Santa.  86%.  Clearly, the last Santa was so terrible, the elves had to off him.

Also, according to The Santa Clause 2, Santa has to be married in order to remain Santa, which means that the previous Santa must have been married - but there’s no Mrs. Clause around when Scott gets to the North Pole.  What happened to her?

And finally, I think this raises some pretty serious questions about Bernard’s sudden disappearance in between The Santa Clause 2 and 3.  Just how badly did Curtis want to be Head Elf?

Just how many people have the elves murdered?  Clearly those rosy cheeks and innocent, childlike faces are hiding some pretty dark secrets.

[piercingsandink]

Oh my god

[iopele]

now this is the kind of Christmas post I want on my dash

[ancientgreeksuggestions]

Change ur mistress into a cow so your wife doesn’t catch you cheating

[ancientgreeksuggestions]

Appoint a guy with eyes all over his body to guard the cow so your husband can’t have sex with her anyways

[barsnips]

If the url didn’t have the word greek in it to cue me in on the ridiculousness of Greek mythology I would just assume I had encountered the best shitposter on this whole website

[ancientgreeksuggestions]

but i am the best shitposter on this whole website! but only because i learned from the master, the ancient greeks

[kingofattolia]

sleep scale

12+ hours: hell yes. decadence has a name and it is ME. the dream. im marrying  my bed you’re invited to the wedding. i might feel groggy and angry for the rest of the day when i actually do get up but WORTH IT. 

12+ hours (ALTERNATE): i am deeply clinically depressed and approximately three (3) inches from death at any given moment

11-10 hours: ideal. im functioning at perfect 100% capacity my body and mind are a well oiled machine. im ready to knock out all my errands and chores in under an hour, work a full day and then study that language im trying to learn

9 hours: good! i could have slept longer, but getting up was no great horrifying trauma either

8-7 hours: the “””””medically recommended amount””””” for adults, but in reality more like a “fine, i GUESS” amount. normal mild levels of angst at having to get out of bed

6 hours: silent unceasing internal groaning for at least the first hour after waking. dont expect any kind of quality conversation for the first 2 or so hours. ive got a Less Than Medically Recommended Amount Of Sleep, that means im a martyr right???

5 hours: pretty unpleasant. feels gross. expect a moderate crash during the late afternoon. this is the first number that is considered worthy of entry in a college student sleep-measuring contest. altho if you try to enter with 5 hrs dead-eyed hordes will instantly materialize from the bushes and one-up you “5 hours??? HAHA SWEET SUMMER CHILD. I HAVENT SLEPT IN 3 YEARS”

4 hours: a Very Poor Decision. deep seated, incoherent rage upon waking that persists up to several hours. consume large amounts of your stimulant of choice, but you’ll still feel like a cave troll. constant aftertaste of chemicals and regret

3 hours: half awake half walking in some astral plane haunted by the wails of the newly-dead. children and animals fear the emptiness in your vacant eyes. a very respectable entry to any sleep-measuring contest. you’ll still get beaten by the “2 hour” and “all nighter” people, but everyone knows this is Bad

2 hours: you can get up, but only by rending your soul from your physical body in a paroxysm of agony, since it will refuse to leave the bed. you are now soulless and will feel absolutely zero emotion until sometime in the late afternoon/early evening when your soul returns and ALL the emotions will hit at once, leaving you alternately sobbing or creepily hyena laughing

1 hour: you fool. you imbecile. your hubris and weakness has brought you to this point. they are coming. you cannot escape. why didnt you just stay awake. why didnt you just pull the all-nighter. the strength of your no-sleep headache threatens to stab through your skull like an ice pick. all you can taste is blood. they are comi

0 hours: THIS ACTUALLY ISNT AS BAD. HAHA I’M NOT EVEN THAT TIRED! WATCH ME DOWN 15 MOUNTAIN DEWS IN 15 MINUTES. I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING IN MY EARS ISNT THAT WEIRD. WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY EYES ARE BLOODSHOT AND I CANT FOCUS, IM COMPLETELY NORMAL RIGHT NOW. GUYS I CAN HEAR COLORS.

[altonzm-deactivated20170213]

french recipes: if you’re not making this in paris then what’s the point. fuck you

italian recipes: use the left leg meat of a pig from one of three farms in this specific area of tuscany, or from this day my grandmother will begin manifesting physically in your house

[thirdtimecharmed]

american recipes: buy these three cans of stuff and put them in a pan congrats you cooked

[svynakee]

chinese recipes, as handed down from mother to child: season it with a pinch of this and some of that. you want to know the exact amount? feel it in your heart. ask the stars. yell into the void. 

[orriculum]

English recipes: boil and salt it. Okay that’s it enjoy

[digitalfare]

Greek recipes: You followed all the right steps but this isn’t quite right. I don’t know what to tell you.

[jamesandlilys]

Australia recipes: chuck it on the barbie

[monsterhighalumni]

Latinx recipes: you will never make it better than your abuela, face the facts

[megatrcn]

Filipino recipes: add rice and soy sauce and some more rice MORE RICE MORE RICE MORE

[merak-zoran]

Serbian Recipes: everything is salad. Ajvar? Salad. A single whole hot pepper covered in oil? Salad. Cabbage? Salad. Kajmak? Salad.

[allmyemptyspace-deactivated2021]

Lebanese recipes: If you don’t have at least 3 family members cooking this dinner with you than you aren’t doing it right.

[demonessryu]

Indonesian recipes: have you added spices? Add some just in case. Eat with rice. It’s not a proper meal until there’s rice in it. You just had bread/burger/cake/pizza? Eat rice anyway or you’ll die of starvation

Bonus Javanese recipes: Have you added sugar? What do you mean it’s meant to be salty/sour/spicy/something else? ADD SUGAR.TO IT

[silver-millennial]

Canadian recipes: Well part of the directions are in metric but you have imperial measuring cups. I hope you like math because we’re going to find out how many gallons in a litre and how many millimetres are in a cup.

[stammsternenstaub]

Swedish recipes: Assemble all the beige items you have in your kitchen. Great. now add raw red onions, dill and salt and white pepper. if u prefer it blander, don’t do the last things. consider serving it with jam

[saxifraga-x-urbium]

Norwegian recipes: listen after three days skiing uphill you will eat anything so stop complaining.

[loonydoc13]

Indian recipes: spend two weeks digging the required spices out of your cupboards. Chop onions until you cry. Fry onions with spices until evey pore in your body is open, let the fragrance seep into your skin, become one with the curry.

[risenshiney]

I hope this shows ok!

Flareon run cycle I made back in April thanks to lots of help from some awesome folks down at the Pixeljoint and Pixelation forums! I’ve micromanaged this a lot, so I probably won’t do anymore to it unless something really bad sticks out. Nonetheless, I’m still willing to hear how it can be better for next time.