Life as an Intern

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Those Maternal Wounds

Mothers have a huge impact on our lives.  Sometimes I think they get a bad rap.  Moms seem to bear the burden of raising their children, even today.  When I have a client sitting in my office devastated due to “lack of,” it’s often because of something Mom didn’t do.  People are much more likely to cut Dad a break, “He was never around but that was because he was always working to provide for…

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The Trouble With Helicopter Parenting

The Trouble With Helicopter Parenting

So you want to protect your child from the world?  That shows that you are a good mom or dad, right?  You don’t want your child to have the same negative experiences you had.  I get it.  As parents it breaks our hearts when we see our children in pain or even struggling. What if I told you jumping in to spare them prevents them from growing and learning and feeling capable? We all make mistakes. …

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That's a Wrap!

That’s a Wrap!

I have previously written about terminating with clients.  I’ve \]]]]]]]]]]had that experience but it’s always been by the client’s choice.  They met their goals or were ready to move on.  Those termination sessions have mostly been good.  Emotional, yes, but filled with hope and fulfillment. I recently accepted another position that I will start soon.  This week I terminated with many of my…

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Dear Client

You came into my office for the first time and I could tell you were a little nervous.  I was, too.  I tried really hard to meet you where you were and I hope I succeeded.  I wanted you to know you were in a safe place where you wouldn’t be judged.  Your thoughts are normal and your feelings are yours.  You are okay just the way you are in this moment.  I hope I was able to convey that to you.…

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Asking For Help

The last couple of weeks have been rough.  I’ve been dealing with an ongoing issue that has had some developments, which have essentially made me feel like I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster.  It can be difficult because I think as helpers we tend to place unrealistic expectations on ourselves.  We go in to work every day and help other people with their problems so why can’t we solve our…

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Loving Yourself

In my previous blog I discussed how it is unrealistic to expect your partner to provide you with unconditional love and how the key is in loving yourself. I’m very much aware of how that sounds cliché but I promise you, you will not go wrong in loving yourself.  It’s the number one barrier against all the chaos, stress, and overwhelming life stuff we all have to deal with.  How does that work? …

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The Direct Path to Heartbreak

The Direct Path to Heartbreak

It’s been a re-occurring theme lately.  People are confused when their partner doesn’t provide them with unconditional love.  Where did we get this idea that our partner is supposed to love us unconditionally?  You doubt me.  You think, “Well, marriage is a commitment and my partner should love me regardless of my faults.”  Yes, true, but that doesn’t translate to unconditional love.  In marriage…

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Protecting Yourself From The Narcissist

Protecting Yourself From The Narcissist

Have you ever encountered someone so hell-bent on insulting you for seemingly no reason at all?  Have you ever walked away from a conversation wondering what you did to cause what just transpired?  They say these things with a smile on their face.  If questioned, they will pull the “who me” routine or tell you that you’re too sensitive or that you read the situation wrong.  You didn’t.  You’re…

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These Dreams

I often get into discussions with other therapists about dreams.  There seems to be a divide between some therapists who think dreams can provide valuable information and those who are reluctant to even consider the meaning of a dream.  My stance is essentially that it can be beneficial to consider what the mind chooses to focus on when the driver is asleep at the wheel.  However, I don’t buy…

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Getting the Most From Your Internship

Getting the Most From Your Internship

I am in an interesting place.  It seems I have completed my 3000 hours.  In some ways it seems like it took forever and in other ways I feel like it happened relatively fast.  It took me almost two years to the day that my intern number posted.  There were obstacles along the way.  I mean, life happens.  A couple times I was unable to collect hours for a few weeks due to life circumstances but I…

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The Blame Game

If there is one thing I’ve learned from working with couples, it’s how much they want to blame one another for the issues in the relationship.  There’s always a whole lot of “he said, she said” stuff.  More often both have such poor insight into the troubles they are experiencing, it’s difficult to make much progress initially. When it gets really difficult, I forbid them from talking about each…

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Contents Under Pressure

The world is full of pressures.  We are first exposed to pressure as children.  Maybe our friends pressure us to wear the right clothes or play a certain sport.  As we get older, this peer pressure can come in the form of being pressured to abuse substances or have sex.  The pressure doesn’t stop when we become adults.  People often wrestle with the notion that they need to buy the right things…

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Session Notes

I have gotten into discussions with other therapists about taking notes during session.  Most of the people I know, don’t take notes.  I don’t begrudge anyone that does.  There are times I find myself wishing I had a pad to scribble some information down but really, not having it forces me to remember. I’m sure there are some therapists that can manage writing notes and still stay present with…

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Hey, Let go of my Ego?

Freud gave us a map of personality, which he broke down into three parts–the id, the ego, and the superego.  The id is the part that wants what it wants and it wants it now.  The superego is the judgmental part that tries to keep the id in line.  The ego tries to mediate between the two. It gets tricky when our ego feels threatened.  That’s when we become prone to defense mechanisms.  Defense…

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Take 2

I’ve blogged a lot about being one’s authentic self and how important it is in order to live our lives on our terms.  You can read more about it in my previous blog, “Vulnerability and Courage.”  The most frightening aspect around being authentic lies in taking chances.  I see it all the time in my clients in the form of apprehension about what they disclose.  There’s real fear there but once the…

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Questions Answered

Why did you become a therapist? Good question.  I’ve always been interested in psychology and I love being able to help people.  Seeing people make the changes necessary to live the life they want is such an amazing experience. Do you think about your clients outside of the therapy room? Of course I do! Do therapists really care about their clients? I can’t speak for all therapists but I do.  I…

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So many of us struggle with trusting our own instincts.  We set ourselves up for disappointment and sometimes even trauma because we find it so difficult to listen to that internal voice. What leads us to ignore our voice?  Often people grow up in homes where their thoughts and feelings aren’t taken into consideration.  They never learned that they had a voice, much less learned to listen to it. …

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