Beelzeboob

caine/elliot | 20s | he/they icon: poicon picrew

[gilgameshhimself]

(Getting swindled by a genie) it’s like talking to a fucking tumblr user with you

[higglety]

the genie: how dare you say I'm fucking a tumblr user

[dyatlovpassingprivilege]

hunk of parmesan: i'm getting so small! 😁 keep going! i wonder if i can get even smaller 😯

microplane, getting more and more delirious with lust as my knuckles get closer to it: he's ruight

[dumnslut]

[classicalcanvas]

The Kingfisher (1886) by Vincent van Gogh

[artthatremindsmeofhannibalnbc]

Dimitri Tsykalov, Colt 45, 2007 Photograph

[synfullewrecche]

Fujoshi wife fills her house with chintz knowingly

[synfullewrecche]

Fujoshi wife fills her house with chintz knowingly

[synfullewrecche]

Fujoshi wife fills her house with chintz knowingly

[lakemojave]

People are unfazed if you hate women but if you dislike dogs they assume you're a bad person

[lakemojave]

Tumblr users will read a post complaining about normalized misogyny and hyperfocus on your claim that it's ok to dislike dogs

[orteil42]

being some fucking guy on tumblr is so crucial for me it keeps me humble and, importantly, stupid

[fatfangs]

the way im incapable of having a conversation about weight with normal people. those conversations feel like a mine field because there are no right answers. im not gonna feel sorry for you that you gained weight and i dont have any dieting tips and your self depreciating weight jokes arent funny and i dont feel like congratulating you on your weight loss with how mean to your past self you are being and it doesnt feel good that you think that me wanting to gain weight is weird or stupid. sorry

[thoodleoo]

Have you seen/tasted the figs in the forehead of a foal as described in Pliny?

you're asking me if i've...eaten the leathery clump of debris thats sometimes stuck to a foal's head after birth? do you think im a pregnant horse or some sort of love witch? what century are you asking this from

[notahorseindisguise]

youd think a band named violent femmes would be made up of violent femmes. but it isnt. its dudes

[notahorseindisguise]

genuinely no mary... the australian dollar is not doing great right now

[notahorseindisguise]

i need to type with more of an accent

[notahorseindisguise]

youse may bloody reckon a band name of violent femmes'd be a buncha sheilas after a couple bundy cokes. but it aint. packa blokes.

[itsalwaysdark]

you have to be careful reading too many things that are good/smart/well-written bc then you encounter something that isnt and you get confused like ? why didnt they just make this good ? were they stupid

[vergak]

I'm a hard pillow hard mattress man. I need reliability. I don't want something to change into a completely different shape when I touch it, that's lying and I don't like liars.

[vergak]

[nonexistent-triangle]

the irredeemable pervert is generally well regarded among their friends for their insightful thoughts and all around pleasant demeanour

[fairycosmos]

being called an old soul when you were kid and knowing you just got diagnosed as a weird cunt