||Come and peruse this uncoordinated mishmash of internet bean slop. I mostly just reblog stuff and rant in the tags but I occasionally post original stuff too. My pronouns are they/them, not a minor||
~My liege the coffers are low, I fear that we will not last until the next payment. Prithee spare us a coin or two?~
Examples of my writing can be found here, here and here. Additionally, here is a previous commission of mine.
Above is a summary of what I offer, please see below the cut for further information:
It costs £2.50 for a short prompt which may be up to 500 words.
After that £5.50 for every 500 words. For example, it’s £5.50 for 500 words, £11.00 for 1000 words, £16.50 for 1,500 words, £22.50 for 2,000 words and so on.
This rate will continue up until 10,000 words which is my limit. If you want anything over that then you will have to pay a doubled rate of £11.00 per 500 words, e.g. it’s £110.00 for 10,000 words, if you want an extra 1000 words then your final total will be £132.00.
Additionally, if you requested, for example, 500 words for £5.50 but decided that you would like an extra 200 words then it’s £1.50 per 100 words, bringing your final total to £8.50 for 700 words.
I’m not overly comfortable writing NSFW pieces, if what you request is only mildly sexual/ suggestive then you can pay the normal rate and I will write it. However, if you insist on an NSFW piece then you will pay a doubled rate right from the get-go, e.g. £11.00 per 500 words. The word limit for NSFW pieces is capped at 1,500 words.
Additionally, aside from my hard NOs, I have the right to refuse an NSFW piece if the request contains things that make me very uncomfortable. However, some things can be discussed. I'm generally against something like non-con/ dub-con but may write a scenario containing specific circumstances.
I also reserve the right to refuse a standard commission if the request contains situations, fandoms, etc, that I am unwilling or uncomfortable writing about.
If you would like a commission then please send me an ASK (AN ASK, DO NOT DM ME) (with your username, not anon) with what you want e.g. what price category as well as a summary of what characters/ themes/ plot points you would like included. I will slide into your DMs to let you know whether I’m expressing interest or denying your request. If the former then you can message me with more details. I'd prefer if you were as in-depth as you possibly can be. I do not appreciate vagueness, it's exceedingly unhelpful. I can't give you what you want if you won't tell me what you want.
Some examples of what you could request might be:
. ‘How would (character/s) react to (thing)’ for £2.50 (works best for stuff I’m familiar with)
. I have a huge list of raw quotes I could use as prompts, you could choose a quote and have me write Reader/ Y/N spit some mad facts.
. Do you want 1000 words of Reader jerking off your favourite transformer for £11.00? Mate I’ve got you covered.
. Perhaps you’re very kind and love me very much so you’ll pay me to write a 5K word chapter for one of the many fic ideas I haven’t started yet. Or pay me to rant about the fictional continent that exists only in my head. One can certainly dream.
For anything that is 1000 words and over I will send you an update when I’m halfway through. The longer the commission, the more updates I’ll send. Any NSFW or original work will not be posted to Tumblr and will be sent to you as a PDF via Gmail. Anything fandom related will be posted (though it will state that it was a commission and your username will be included) unless you specifically state otherwise. Minor edits are free but larger ones start at £1.50 depending on how much you want me to change.
I DO NOT CONSENT IN ANY WAY, SHAPE OR FORM TO HAVING ANYTHING I WRITE BE FED TO AI.
Please for the love of god can the powers that be blow up generative ai and also get rid of that stupid stupid stupid 'in OrDer to SeE thIs COnteNt yoU mUst ProVide prooF of youR aGe ViA an OFFicIAl doCumEnT WiTh YouR date of Birth suCH as a PassPoRt or DrIveRs LiceNSe'. FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OOOOFF FUUUUUCCKK OOOOOOFF. LET ME LOOK AT PEOPLE'S DRAWINGS OF TITS AND MPREG WHILE I GOOOOOOOOOON. YES I CAN USE MY IMAGINATION BUT SOMETIMES I WANT MATERIAL FOR INSPIRATION WHILE I SPEND TWO HOURS WANKING MY GENITALS CLEAN OFF AND I CAN'T FUCKING LOOK AT IT WITHOUT GIVING MY ID AND YOU CAN'T FUCKING HAVE IIIIIIIIIIIIIIT. LET ME LOOK AT GIANT FUCKING TITS AND PREGNANT MEN THAT ALSO HAVE MASSIVE TITS AND FAT SWEATY HAIRY DILFS THAT ALSO HAVE MASSIVE TITS. FUUUUUUUUUUCK.
actually fuck it im just going to start saying “oh, thanks for the movie rec. but… does it have needless violence and sex that adds nothing to the plot and people being assholes to each other? because i won’t watch it otherwise”
june will be good june will be good june will be good june will be good june will be good june will be good june will be good june will be good june will be good june will be
