||Come and peruse this uncoordinated mishmash of internet bean slop. I mostly just reblog stuff and rant in the tags but I occasionally post original stuff too. My pronouns are they/them, not a minor||
~My liege the coffers are low, I fear that we will not last until the next payment. Prithee spare us a coin or two?~
Examples of my writing can be found here, here and here. Additionally, here is a previous commission of mine.
Above is a summary of what I offer, please see below the cut for further information:
It costs £2.50 for a short prompt which may be up to 500 words.
After that £5.50 for every 500 words. For example, it’s £5.50 for 500 words, £11.00 for 1000 words, £16.50 for 1,500 words, £22.50 for 2,000 words and so on.
This rate will continue up until 10,000 words which is my limit. If you want anything over that then you will have to pay a doubled rate of £11.00 per 500 words, e.g. it’s £110.00 for 10,000 words, if you want an extra 1000 words then your final total will be £132.00.
Additionally, if you requested, for example, 500 words for £5.50 but decided that you would like an extra 200 words then it’s £1.50 per 100 words, bringing your final total to £8.50 for 700 words.
I’m not overly comfortable writing NSFW pieces, if what you request is only mildly sexual/ suggestive then you can pay the normal rate and I will write it. However, if you insist on an NSFW piece then you will pay a doubled rate right from the get-go, e.g. £11.00 per 500 words. The word limit for NSFW pieces is capped at 1,500 words.
Additionally, aside from my hard NOs, I have the right to refuse an NSFW piece if the request contains things that make me very uncomfortable. However, some things can be discussed. I'm generally against something like non-con/ dub-con but may write a scenario containing specific circumstances.
I also reserve the right to refuse a standard commission if the request contains situations, fandoms, etc, that I am unwilling or uncomfortable writing about.
If you would like a commission then please send me an ASK (AN ASK, DO NOT DM ME) (with your username, not anon) with what you want e.g. what price category as well as a summary of what characters/ themes/ plot points you would like included. I will slide into your DMs to let you know whether I’m expressing interest or denying your request. If the former then you can message me with more details. I'd prefer if you were as in-depth as you possibly can be. I do not appreciate vagueness, it's exceedingly unhelpful. I can't give you what you want if you won't tell me what you want.
Some examples of what you could request might be:
. ‘How would (character/s) react to (thing)’ for £2.50 (works best for stuff I’m familiar with)
. I have a huge list of raw quotes I could use as prompts, you could choose a quote and have me write Reader/ Y/N spit some mad facts.
. Do you want 1000 words of Reader jerking off your favourite transformer for £11.00? Mate I’ve got you covered.
. Perhaps you’re very kind and love me very much so you’ll pay me to write a 5K word chapter for one of the many fic ideas I haven’t started yet. Or pay me to rant about the fictional continent that exists only in my head. One can certainly dream.
For anything that is 1000 words and over I will send you an update when I’m halfway through. The longer the commission, the more updates I’ll send. Any NSFW or original work will not be posted to Tumblr and will be sent to you as a PDF via Gmail. Anything fandom related will be posted (though it will state that it was a commission and your username will be included) unless you specifically state otherwise. Minor edits are free but larger ones start at £1.50 depending on how much you want me to change.
I DO NOT CONSENT IN ANY WAY, SHAPE OR FORM TO HAVING ANYTHING I WRITE BE FED TO AI.
The Scottish Greens are currently gathering support to protest an AI data centre being built in Fife (it could use more than 20% of Scotland's annual energy usage), and I am hoping you would be willing to share the link to their page?
This should take you to where you can sign: https://greens.scot/stopfifeaidatacentre
As a heads up, in the email text section of the form at the bottom it is structured in a way where a name for signature is expected.
tolkien wished for us to add to the legendarium, did he not? well, this is my contribution.
so one of the main reasons i hold on to my ‘elves do not shit’ crack headcanon is for the poetic, tragic, richly emotional moment it implies in the fellowship of the ring. when legolas, 20 minutes into the trip, smells the first fart he ever smelt in his life and just straight up curls into a ball and starts sobbing. and everyone is trying to comfort him because they think he’s having a panic attack or something right. which he is. anyway, imagine the hurt/comfort possibilities within that situation. a whole new genre of whumpfics could be born from this very situation.
imagine the sociopolitical dynamics of it as well. everyone blames gimli right off the bat because frankly early-fellowship gimli absolutely would do it just to fuck with legolas, and when confronted all he says is ‘fuck i wish i did it’. the hobbits hold council between them and they all blame pippin. again understandable. however, they also vote that the second most likely choice is sam, because classism runs deep even in the sweetest shire-dwellers. boromir is a normal person and doesn’t give a fuck. gandalf invents the non-aligned movement.
anyway. legolas lives in fear, confusion, and turmoil throughout the quest for the ring. bombarded with farts left right and centre. bro is literally fighting mustard gas in the trenches. ww1 metaphor is his daily reality. and this discombobulation means his elf nose gets overwhelmed and he can’t differentiate the various strains. he has no idea who hurt him so badly that first time. until aragorn’s wedding. which aragorn is very nervous about. and understandably, nervousness has several biological indicators. one of which results in legolas freezing up in the middle of the ceremony, eyes filling with tears. he looks at the groom. his friend. his comrade. his king.
please read this even if you're not indian. especially if you're not indian.
you've seen the jokes. india is "dirty", indians are "everywhere", why don't they fix their own country. ok. let me tell you why, and what's happening right now while nobody's watching.
first, the history you skipped: britain ruled india for two centuries and drained it. economist utsa patnaik's research estimates around $45 trillion in today's money was taken. the india that got independence in 1947 was one of the poorest countries on earth. every "why is india like this" question starts there. you don't get to profit off a robbery and then mock the crime scene.
now, what's happening RIGHT NOW:
in may the question paper for NEET leaked. that's the national medical entrance exam. over 2.2 million students took it. cancelled. years of studying, families' savings poured into coaching, gone overnight because someone sold the paper. students died by suicide after. these were kids who wanted to be doctors.
and out of that came a protest movement. a gen z group called the cockroach janta party, started by a 30 year old named abhijeet dipke, got 22 million instagram followers within DAYS. they've been doing a sit-in at jantar mantar in delhi demanding education minister dharmendra pradhan resign.
and then there's sonam wangchuk. if you've watched 3 idiots, he's the real engineer the character was based on. built solar schools in ladakh. invented ice stupas so himalayan villages have water. spent his whole life on education. he's 59 and he's been on hunger strike for 17+ days now. reporters went to see him this week and he was too weak to talk. and the troll armies are calling him "anti national" and "foreign funded". a man starving himself for other people's children. that's the thing here, anyone who asks a question is suddenly a traitor.
it's not one incident, it's everywhere you look:
• infrastructure worth thousands of crores failing within months of the ribbon cutting. tunnels collapsing in regions where heavy rain is a guarantee, not a surprise.
• youth unemployment near 10% for ages 15 to 29, 13.6% in cities. in a country of 1.42 billion where more than half the population is young.
• only about the top 3% of indians earn above 10 lakh a year. meanwhile billionaire wealth keeps ballooning and the headlines celebrate it.
• manipur burned for over two years. an ethnic conflict, tens of thousands displaced, and the prime minister barely said the word manipur while it happened.
• journalists raided. critics' houses bulldozed. activists sitting in jail for years without trial under laws like UAPA. our press freedom ranking has cratered.
• even the petrol is a fight now, ethanol blending pushed through while drivers complain about their engines and get no straight answers.
and through all of it, the PM, who came to power on religious polarisation (americans, sound familiar?), travels abroad for photo ops and has not held one single open press conference in over a decade. not one.
what i'm asking:
if you're not indian: share this. our media mostly won't cover any of it because the big outlets are owned by the same billionaires the government serves. the only reason wangchuk's fast is getting any coverage is people refusing to look away.
if you ARE indian: speak up even if you're comfortable. especially if you're comfortable. join the protests. add to this, correct me, translate it. staying quiet is a choice when nothing in this post touches your life.
india is not "dirty". india was robbed, and it's being robbed again, from the inside this time. but it's also the country where a 59 year old will starve for strangers' kids and 22 million young people will rally behind a party literally named after cockroaches, because cockroaches survive everything.
Please save and share this info where possible. This report has since been removed by Amnesty International due to legal threats of libel from JK Rowling. This information is no longer easily accessible.
So the thing is boobs really do be jiggling. If having breasts has taught me anything it is that the ladies frolic. I don't even have that large of boobs but every time I go down some stairs all I can think about is that stupid quote about boobing breastily down the stairs or whatever it is because God Damn.
But anime and video game boob jiggling is like. The most uncanny valley shit I've ever seen nine times out of ten. You would think people this horny about tits would have actually looked at some but I guess not.
What we really need is some pervert to compile the ultimate visual guide to boob bouncing physics that's just like 500 hours of meticulously organized videos of breasts of different size and shape and under different fabrics bouncing around from a wide variety of physical movements so horny game devs can finally get it right and I don't have to be creeped out by women who appear to have surgically implanted softballs in their chest under skin made of rubber bands.
hellooo i'm hollyfinn and i got laid off of work a month ago. i am now unemployed and in desperate need of funds because i have both monthly car and phone bill payments, which are usually altogether $600, while i currently only have $350 in my bank </3 i am currently opening commissions.
right now only chibi and feral slots are open because they don't take as long as my other commission types, and i'm hoping to get them out ASAP, though i will probably open my other types later in the future!
i also take tips and donations :)
pls commission me thru ko-fi! i don't accept DMs on tumblr, so pls message me thru email instead!
click here for my ko-fi!
plz boost this post if you can! i am a very small artist so my reach is not that big.
