ok this is v dumb and I don’t know why I’m even posting here since I never come here anymore but my Environmental Justice research idol forwarded me an news email that related to the paper I wrote in her class this semester, and in her message she said she thought of the “terrific paper” I wrote and. i just. holy fuck. she comes up on almost every single interesting paper and study about EJ out there and I just can’t believe I’m on a first-name, personal emailing basis with her? like I came to this school mainly because of her and I can’t believe I got to meet her, let alone take a class with her, let alone be impressed by the 18 page paper I wrote for her class.
This just feels so good and really makes me think I’m going somewhere, like I’m finally moving forward on a path that I’ve been thinking about abstractly for so long. And I’m starting a new project for my internship that is genuinely challenging (and maybe impossible?) in a good way and I’m so excited to use + expand my GIS skills through it this summer. I’m just very excited.
But also it’s telling(and worrying) that these are the main emotions I’m feeling right now amidst everything that’s going on with BLM. I’m not focused on creating change both structurally and in myself, I’m focused on my advances in my individual career which means what, in the end. Black bodies are still laying in the street, trans women of color are still fighting the good fight to stay alive and survive, latinx people are still being shot when they cross the border, and tribal communities are suffering because of centuries of genocide. Like yes, I’m proud of myself but I also have to really keep in mind that my successes are just coming at the cost of other people’s suffering in a lot of different ways. If I keep going like this, without thinking critically, I’m just going to be another white person not doing anything meaningful to help fight injustice, while knowing full well that they are out there.
anyways, IDK what this is, but I’m going to make more of an effort.
