this is the biggest plot twist of our generation

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$LAYYYTER

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@creativevegetable
this is the biggest plot twist of our generation
(insp.)
The Adams Administration
Hamilton: Sit down, John, you fat mother-fucker
Burr and Company:
Jefferson: But who’s waiting for me when I step in the place? My friend James Madison, red in the face! He grabs my arm and I respond ‘What’s going on?!’ Madison:
@wintcrt ITS WHAT I SAID TO YOU WHEN WE MET
i havent shaved my legs in a really long time and while i was babysitting my skirt edged up a bit and the seven year old i was watching said “ew you should shave that hairs not supposed to be there” and i said “well if its not supposed to be there then why does it grow there?” and he was really silent for a long time and then finally said “lets watch sonic the hedgehog”
tumors grow, are they supposed to be there?
its called “evolution”, just because its there doesnt mean its useful or wanted.
Local Man Compares Leg Hair To Cancer, Genuinely Thought It Was A Smart Argument. More At Six.
sometimes i think about how warren was stuck in the knapsack with only a hermit troll for company for 3 whole months
he didn’t even know if kendra and the others survived, the last thing he knew was she was trapped by navarog so he probably didn’t think anyone was coming for him and i’m just so upset y'all
I actually think about this all the time
I’m just really glad
some dude got decked for looking like shia labeouf and so shia labeouf sent him the best voicemail of all time
he’d come bring the man soup I fucking love him
YOOOO SO LOOK DA FIRST TIME I EVER GOT ON DIS RIDE I WAS WITH A WHITE FAMILY AND U KNOW WHITE FOLKS CRAZY SO DEY DONT FEAR ROLLER COASTERS OR DEATH IN GENERAL. AFTER ABOUT 10 MINUTES OF TELLIN DEM DAT I DIDNT WANNA GET ON I FINALLY SAID YES CUZ I AINT NEVER BEEN NO BITCH AND I DIDNT PLAN ON STARTING THAT DAY. WHEN DA ENGINEER SAID “PLS LEAN BACK AND KEEP THE BACK OF UR HEAD PRESSED AGAINST YOUR SEAT” AND I SAW EVERYBODY STICK DA BACK OF THEIR HEADS TO THE CHAIR I KNEW DAT I MADE DA WORST DECISION OF MY LIFE CUZ I EVEN SAW SOME BLACK FOLKS LISTEN AND U KNOW DAT WHEN BLACK PEOPLE LISTEN A WHITE LADY’S ADVICE , ITS DA REAL DEAL. SO MY FIRST MISTAKE WAS REFUSING TO PRESS MY HEAD AGAINST THE SEAT… THE RIDE TAKES OFF AND MY DOME SLAMS AGAINST THE CHAIR WHILE MY NECK SNAPPED… UNCONSCIOUS INSTANTLY.. WHEN I AWOKE FROM MY 3 SECOND SLUMBER WE HAD REACHED DA VERY TOP OF THE RIDE WHERE THE RIDE MAKES A QUICK PAUSE… WHEN THE RIDE MADE THAT PAUSE I OPENED MY EYES CAUSE I THOUGHT THE RIDE WAS OVER AND WE ALL MADE IT SAFELY. BOY WAS I WRONG… I OPENED MY EYES AND DA ONLY THING I SAW WAS A 300 FOOT DROP STRAIGHT TO DA GROUND SO I SAID “GOD YOU CANT LET ME DIE LIKE DIS”. I THINK I SUFFERED A HEART CONTUSION CUZ MY HEART JUST COMPLETELY STOPPED BEATING… AND THAN THE RIDE TAKES OFF AGAIN… WE MAKE THE 300 FOOT DROP AND I SCREAM MY LUNGS OUT AS IM SCARED TO DEATH BECAUSE DA ONLY TIME A HUMAN SHOULD BE DAT HIGH IN DA AIR IS WHEN THEIR SPIRIT IS BEING SUCKED INTO HEAVEN BY DA GRACE OF GOD.. SO WE SAFELY MAKE IT TO DA END OF DA RIDE AND WHEN WE GET OFF I STUMBLE OUT OF THE SEAT CUZ MY LEGS WENT NUMB AND ALL THE AIR WAS SUCKED OUT OF MY BODY SO I COULDNT TALK EITHER.. DA FIRST THING THESE CRAZY MOTHERFUCKERS TELL ME IS “HEY MAN LETS DO THAT AGAIN THAT WAS WICKED”. I LOOKED AT DEM AND I REALIZED DAT DIS WHITE KID DAT I BEFRIENDED WAS ACTUALLY SATAN. I NO LONGER HAVE ANY WHITE FRIENDS.
please read this whole thing.
if somebody asks me about what my sense of humor is im just gonna show them this
WHA R DOZ FORE
“dayre scissors!!!” “…………………..WAAAAAAAAYAAAAAAHHHH”
if my husband doesn’t cry when he sees me on our wedding day I will softly kick him in the shin until he sheds a tear
Watch: The contrast is clear, but the amount of love in the video is overwhelming.
Source
Statistics Show Exactly How Many Times Trans People Have Attacked You in Bathrooms. Surprise: There are zero reported cases of this happening.
THIS. THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS.