i'm ur mom now

I post random crap. Asexual. Fish Lover. SC:Sophia9000.

[loveyourcrookedneighbour]

a customer said “earl gay” instead of “earl grey” and my lizard brain reacted fast enough to say “that’s what they call me in England”

[cognitohazardous]

[perks-of-being-chinese]

Thanks, I hate it

[woodrider]

This is a parody website

[doggendoodle]

[gla1ie]

[astro-b-o-y-d]

Update: This is her husband

[cvberitual]

Their husband.

[heyodaddio]

our husband

[harlivy]

that one little girl really does play the younger version of every white protagonist right now… she has that market under control. Tonya Harding, Theo Crain, sabrina the teenage witch…etc. I cannot think of her name tho

[harlivy]

if your white protagonist has a flashback…McKenna Grace will be there.

[garden-gh0st]

Literally, her IMBd is just,

[publiusmaximum]

[officialsolluxcaptor]

THIS OFFICE HAD ITS BLINDS UP AND THIS IS WHAT I SAW

[officialsolluxcaptor]

i’m losing my mind. this is a high rise office building on the upper east side of manhattan. and the only piece of art on the wall in this office is a bikini clad anime girl with humongous bazookas that are bouncing out of sync. this can’t be real someone wake me up

[the-four-humors]

I know this print, it’s actually considered a fine art piece! It’s clearly based on Takashi Murakami’s live-sized statue ‘Hiropon’:

Which, yes, she’s skipping rope with milk that she’s lactating from her bazongas. It’s actually part of a set, the other one being titled ‘Lonesome Cowboy’:

Which features a Cloud look-alike lassoing with his cum. 

Murakami is well known for taking ‘low art’ subject matter (anime, hentai, penises) and placing them in ‘high art’ contexts. I actually saw Hiropon in personal with my own two eyes at the Denver Museum of Art back in 2009. A lot of what he does is satirical, and it’s honestly pretty funny to see pictures of his artwork in American museums, surrounded by confused white baby boomers. 

That said, without the context, it DEFINITELY slaps you in the face and makes you question what the fuck is going on. Had I not found out who he was in college, Hiropon would still haunt me as the most confusing thing I’ve ever seen in a museum. 

[officialsolluxcaptor]

god thank you for explaining this but also i’m still being slapped in the face as i type

[guccixcucci]

🤢🤢🤢imagine having a 🤢🤢🤢🤢having a cr🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢 crush 🤢🤢🤢🤢on a boy🤮🤮

[guccixcucci]

[bunkey]

bernie sanders tribute

[cornflakgirl]

i watch this every single day

[hatefuhk]

when people ask where you see yourself in 10 years

[turtle0verl0rd]

JUMPING ON THIS OPPORTUNITY

[rip-paramour]

LAST YEAR WE CAN REBLOG THIS GUYS

[creepy-crawley-crowley]

Where’d the time go, huh?

[distractedboyfriend]

[byecolonizer]

https://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/nba/2018/07/30/lebron-james-promise-school-akron-ohio/862159002/

Some people don’t understand how big this is, opening a school, especially a public one is a huge undertaking and even with LeBron money it’s costly.

It’s really nice to see black celebs and athletes actually show their support for the community, rather than sparing a few words about it.

[byecolonizer]

[biitumen]

excuse me mr fucking bezos??

[paulthebukkit]

[young-replica]

[gebranntgebrannt]

[dankmemeuniversity]

[basic-banshee]

I keep using my girlfriend with unusual work hours to get out of coworker interactions and happy hours and hanging out.

But now the company holiday party is upon us.

And I’ve been lying about the girlfriend.

I suddenly really empathise with the characters in Hallmark Christmas movies.

[basic-banshee]

I like that people have two reactions to this post.

Reasonable: “just say she couldn’t make it!”

Chaotic: FAKE DATING AU

Well, which one is it going to be?

[basic-banshee]

And so it begins

having the DMV area Craigslist bookmarked has never come in handy before but now

[basic-banshee]

Update, Craigslist has flagged my post as inappropriate.

[basic-banshee]

Apparently you can’t solicit a date as a “gig”

I now see my mistake

[basic-banshee]

Update: a date has been acquired. This is true lesbian solidarity in action.

[justluckyiguess]

My wife has now read this and wonders how baby gays are even meeting and mating

[basic-banshee]

Can confirm I am meeting and mating just fine 😂

[basic-banshee]

By the way I’m in a relationship with this woman now

[cooliopumpkin]

[basic-banshee]

This is the feedback I’ve been looking for

[tiktoks-we-like]

[grafai-ai]

Man sees crab for the first time.

[marshthemehllow]

does he...

Live in the

Sea?!

[asingularcanadian]

Some fucking

mollusk

pulls up

[acreaturecalledgreed]

theres like a guarantee that if someone’s url ends in “course” or “discourse” theyre an asshole

[horse-is-a-horse-of-course]

: (

[acreaturecalledgreed]

oh my god, oh my god im so sorry im so sorry please

please have these

[horse-is-a-horse-of-course]

: )

[a-gay-homosexual-deactivated202]

this is the physical embodiment of zero impulse control 

[twerkyvulture]

wow his character in Ghostbusters wasnt even scripted he’s just Like That

[cloudfreed]

me when im hungry

[henrywasnthereaskanyone]