i was idly playing with a switched au in my headānot as in evil mr benedict good mr curtain, but as in mr curtain sending 4 students at his school (the society (mysterious curtain society??????? oh no) presumably all became students under different strange circumstances) undercover to mr. benedictās house (school?) claiming he was the bad guy, and them learning otherwise, and since the kids are switched presumably like a) SQ was raised by mr benedict instead (good for him!), b) kate has been told that mr benedict has her father and mindwiped him (sheās āundercoverā and canāt tell him iām assuming? although sheās impulsive so itās hard to believe she wouldnāt immediately try and do something, but presumably the other kids hold her back) and so on, but theyāre all confused by like. how he doesnāt seem evil (much like stickyās doubts of mr. curtain, maybe either reynie is in that position doubting what theyāve been told, or sticky again but this time itās not because of manipulative praise, but genuine praise that makes him go ??? wait), and constance probably gets immediate bad vibes and doesnāt trust him (she didnāt trust mr. benedict either, so that checks out) and so on, right? itās not a very well thought out au, i was just kinda idly spinning it around my head. thereās some interesting bits to it, but ultimately iām not sure if it would work.
and then i thought, well, kids swap is all very well and fine, but what if it was just like. this mysterious curtain society is made of the kids we do see at the academy, so like, SQ, martina, maybe jackson and jillson? and that quickly fell apart too, and i was like, eh, not sure i like that. although actually now that i think about it, martina and mr. benedict would be anā¦ interesting interaction (i donāt think he would dislike herāi kind of think of his line on constance, āshe is in many ways much betterā¦.and in other ways much worseā but heās clearly delighted with her + martina getting validation and appreciation from an adult that doesnāt encourage the whole competitive/mean behavior) but ANYWAY
then i thought. what if it was just SQ.
SQ being warned that mr. curtainās brother looks exactly like him but donāt be fooledāhe is very manipulative, that he will betray and abandon him without thought if he becomes useless just as he did mr. curtain, being warned that heās very good at seeming friendly but ultimately itās a lie, that heāll seem kind and say nice things but he just wants to use SQ (possibly with that underlying subtext of what else are you good for) and like. heās set to āaccidentallyā bump into him and a) infiltrate, b) gather information/gain their trust/see how much they know, and c) ultimately get security details and/or disable milligan and the others at the planned date. because, of course, his brother has always had a weakness for children, and SQ is ever so convenient.
the sympathetic angle here is that he knows his brother wouldnāt hurt a child, even if he was found out. the unsympathetic angle: he doesnāt care either way, and SQ is useful, and no pesky guardians anymore to ask questions. (or some mix of the twoāfor example, he knows SQ wonāt come to harm, but doesnāt necessarily mind if he doesnāt come back (even if itās because of adoption and not death))
either way, heās not telling SQ that, just that his brother is dangerous and has highly dangerous associates, and that heāll have to be careful and on edge and report back very, very carefully.Ā
anyway, so SQ is set to infiltrate however would make sense, and presumably mr. benedict takes one look at this scared child whoās like. i donāt have anyone, iām alone, iām on the run, and is like. oh? is anyone gonna adopt this? and didnāt wait for an answer.
iām thinking that in order to have them not think just random child, the lie in some way involves the emergency/the institute, like saying heās an escaped student in hiding or something? so they actually tell him about their plans/what they know, instead of trying to keep him away from it.
so like. SQ. living with mr. benedict and the crew. and itāsā¦. bizarre. for one, theyāre all super nice to him. like. just really kind. and it never makes him feel weird or bad (itās not backhanded) and itās not condescending (they mean it) and they donāt criticize his eating habits or make weird (kind of mean now that he thinks about it) comments about his art (mr. benedict put it up in his office!) and they never talk down to him, they actually tell him whatās going on and are honest with him (or at least, they seem like it, butā)
but then thereās like. when they start getting into what they know, this information heās supposed to find out, itās like. that. that canāt be right. theyāre lying, theyāve got to be, right? because his dad isnāt some sort of fucking supervillain, he isnāt trying toāto mind control the whole world, thatās wild, that sounds fake, what the fuck.
(if sq lives on the island does he. know about the emergency? i assume students talk about it, although iām not sure he really goes to class or interacts with people much, so like. is it just a vague thing he sort of half knows about? does he actually see it out in the mainland?)
but like. theyāre so earnest and kind, they seem to honestly care, and he justāhe feels bad, but he likes it here. a pun slips out one day at dinner and half waits for the man with his fatherās face to tell him that puns are the lowest form of humor, but instead he lets out an undignified giggle and then tips over, number two catching him without even trying
oh no. wait actually this just occurred to me. the parallel of him guiltily feeling really good away from mr. curtainās influence, his controlling and manipulative behavior, in a place he feels safe and can draw in peace and quiet when he needs to? oh. oh. i am going to sit down. oh
anyway so he starts feeling guiltier and guiltier about lying to themātheyāve taken him in without question, heās honestly gotten to know themānumber two and her awkward quirks but genuine compassion, rhonda and her talent for disguise but deep passion for helping people, milliganās odd distance and intimidating stature but like, gentlenessātheyāre all caring in slightly different but equally deep ways, and like. then thereās mr. benedict. who looks so much like his dad but acts so different, who can be quiet (reading a book peacefully in his officeāwhich is messy and filled with books, very homey and he canāt imagine his dad ever putting up with this kind of messā¦ or withdrawn into plans, thinking hard trying to think of any plan that doesnāt involve sending a child into enemy territory and seeming exhausted) or energetic (excitedly explaining something heās learned, or about a book heās read) and who just seems soā¦ genuine.
and he tells himself his dad warned him about this, theyāre manipulative and lying, but they have no reason to suspect him, nor any reason to keep him safe, so why would they bother?
and like. thereās a moment where he remembers that his dad had always talked about his brother betraying him, and itās hard to imagine his uncle kindly mr. benedict betraying anyone, but why would his dad lie, how can neither of them be lying, so he asks, just casually, if mr. benedict has any siblings.
mr. benedict stills. number two doesnāt pay much mind, expecting a casual denial, until he quietly says yes. i hadāhave. have a brother.
he doesnāt look up. he looks ashamed. SQ is preparing for the worst.
were it not for the fact that a) there is a child here, and b) this is clearly a Moment, number two would be very offended. i mean, not really, but like. how did she not know this? what the fuck? but instead, she sits back and listensāhe doesnāt look at her, but she knows he knows sheās still there, and heād ask her to leave if he wanted her to. (i say number two because she had the strongest reaction to not knowing, but i could see that rhonda and/or milligan are here too, kind of. exchanging looks.)
and like. SQ asks, quietly, hesitantly, half wondering if this will finally be what makes him angry, what happened to him.
but mr. benedict just kind of looks down, ruefully, and says he didnāt know where he was. and he looksāhe looks guilty, yes, but sad, he looks like he misses him, and SQāSQ knows where he is. he has enough time to think Hm Maybe Asking About This Was A Bad Idea when like. mr. benedict says, a little tearfully but trying to hold it back, that it was his fault but he hadnātāit was a long time ago.
ā¦SQ asks what he was like. wonders what mr. benedict thinks of his dad, not knowing SQ knew him, too. and mr. benedictā¦ he laughs, that kind of bittersweet remembering laugh, and just likeā¦ he was brilliant, but troubled. he wasāhe could be cruel, sometimes, the way children were, and he could be controlling and loud, but he meant well, he wanted what was best for us. we looked out for each other. we loved each other. we were brothers. ā¦.twins, in fact.
(number two is left reeling from this information. SQ is, too, for entirely different reasons.)
maybe number two says something doubting that it was his fault, whatever happened, or maybe SQ says something to try and get more information, but whatever the case, somehow the whole sorry story comes out, mr. benedict is actually upset for once, although he takes care not to raise his voice with SQ right there, and like. SQ is just reeling because a) there is too much pain in his voice for this story to be fake. and if it were fake, why would he try and make himself look bad, why would he lie about this, b) the feelings he described after notānot going back. feeling guilty but relieved, feeling like he could have peace and safetyāwhy did SQ relate to that so much? did heādid he not want to go back? didnāt he miss his dad? well, mr. benedict clearly misses him, too, but he still felt relief ā¦..could he not go back? and c) this strange mixed feeling of relief (his impression of mr. benedict wasnāt wrong, because heās pretty sure this is the ābetrayalā his father was talking about, and he couldnāt help but understand why he had made his choice) and guilt (he was lying to him, he knew where his brother was, he was opening up and SQ was keeping something from him) and fear (what would happen when they found out? would he be able to stay with either brother? what did he tell his father?)
and like. SQ quietly telling him he understood the feeling, and like just. he goes to bed that night so, so conflicted on what to do. he feels so guilty (hm, parallels to reynie in canon!) but can he make it right? will they be angry? or should he go through with it?
maybe he arrives at the conclusion that neither of them are lyingāhis uncle and the others truly believe this nefarious thing is happening, and thatās why theyāre trying to fight back, but the headmaster (his father) isnāt behind it, or thatās not what it is, and whatever the case, this is all a big misunderstanding, and if he can just. talk to them both, he could explain it.
maybe at this point heās already fed enough information to his father that heās ready for the night they strike, relying on him to use a sedative given to him to knock everyone out and the information heās given to be correct so they can raid the house, and all he needs to do is complete the last steps of the plan.
(and maybe mr. benedict and co know that somethingās up, that theyāre being watched, but never once suspect SQ, because why would they? ironically, given mr. benedictās current incredibly hesitant plan Z to send children into the instituteāwhich, come to think of it, mr. curtain might try to use to point to to attempt to convince SQ that his brother is just as bad if not worse)
and either we have the classique he decides not to go through with it but itās too late, and he gets to see the awful betrayal on their faces as they realize (without knowing heād changed sides) heād been a spy the whole time (seeing mr. benedict collapse because of him but not because heād made a particularly bad joke but because heād hurt him, and no oneās there to cushion his fallāit hurts)
(or he pulls a zuko and goes through with it before realizing he made the wrong choice and helping them escape, and is frankly amazed when they take him back without question, just glad heās okay)
or like. just. this quiet moment where SQ goes into his office. and he looks up at him, smiling like itās a normal day because for him it is, and asks him what he needs, and SQ sets down whatever heās been using to communicate with his dad and says i lied to you.
because heās finally been convinced that they arenāt lying, arenāt manipulating him that maybe his dad was that something else was going on here and he had to come clean even though his heart is in his throat and heās so scared of whatāll come of it but even if heās giving up a place that makes him feel safe, heās doing the right thing, isnāt he?
and him having to sayāand heās stumbling over his words again, nervous and scared like he hasnāt been since the startāthat heād lied, he was sent here as a spy, but he couldnātāhe couldnāt do it, they werenāt who heād been told, and that enough is to make mr. benedict look distraught (but not angry, he doesnāt look angry) and then he blurts out that he knows where his brother is and mr. benedictās face like. he looks. SQ never wants to see that look again. itās not anger, justāheartbreak, hurt, whether at him or his dad heās not sure, and like. he just quietly asks like. if his brother is okay, then. if heās the headmaster theyāve been fighting. and SQ admits he is, and that heās his father, and honestly if mr. benedict hasnāt fallen asleep a few times by now itād be just like the show! itād surprise me.
but like first of all, presumably not out loud but mr. benedict is kind of like, ah, never had a son turn out to be a nephew before. weird
and also I HAVE A NEPHEW ????
(although actually, fun twist, family doesnāt have to fit into the whole nuclear format of like mom dad son daughter sister brother, so like. kinda picturing when they basically adopt him heās like well im *cough* for sure an orphan, but i remember my dad, i donāt want another dad, maybe you could be likeā¦ā¦ and then mr. benedictās like (cheerfully oblivious) how about an uncle? and SQās like *choking* Yeah Sure)
but mostly itās this conflicting maelstrom of emotions like. SQ is a spy, heās been spying on them, heās lied to them (heās just a kid, heās scared, and iāll be damned if i donāt hug him as soon as i emotionally recover enough from this revelation to stand and not scream into the woods!!), heās an uncle his brother had a kid!! (a kid heās mistreated and sent away, a kid heād been sure came from an abusive home, a kid who seems surprised at compliments.), his brother is alive!! (and a fucking supervillain!!) and the HEADMASTER THEYāVE BEEN FIGHTING IS HIS BROTHER (this is all my fault, itās all my fault)
he is understandably. overwhelmed.
but like. him shakily standing. SQ stands tall but scared. and mr. benedict just. hugs him. just pulls him into a hug and is like youāve been through so much, iām sorry, and SQās like WHY ARE YOU APOLOGIZING I LIED TO YOU, I SAT THERE AND LISTENED TO YOU TALK ABOUT MY DAD AND HOW MUCH YOU MISSED HIM AND DIDNāT TELL YOU, I SPIED ON YOU, I HELPED HIM, WHY ARENāT YOU ANGRY, and mr. benedictās just like. youāre a kid, youāre my nephew, i care about you, this isnāt your fault. youāve been manipulated and hurt and iām not angry with you, i wonāt be angry with you and like. SQ properly crying like, not alone, for the first timeā¦ in a very long time, if ever? and like just. being held. by his uncle. who knew everything and wasnāt angry and might also be crying a bit
iām not really sure how this would end iām just very emo
although i do think mr. benedictās immediate reaction would be, just as in canon, to immediately march over there and confront him, except this time with like 80 percent more rage because his nephew is hurt and nathaniel you hurt a CHILD? your SON?
and like this whole thing from mr. benedictās point of view, too, like. he takes in this kid on the run from this headmaster (ld curtain, they have a name, but no picture, and heād never met him in personāor gave a false description?) and like. heās such a sweet kid, he likes drawing, heās clearly not had much praise in his life, but heās a good kid and he deserves better than all this
and like. all that bonding, and then he comes ināclearly terrified but determinedāand admits he was spying. and then itās revelation after revelation and he is seriously tempted to go out into the woods, far away so as not to upset anyone, particularly SQ, and then scream and maybe throw some things, and then come back and sit down calmly. but he canāt do that right now, there is a child seriously scared of his reaction in the room, and he swallows down the ohgodohfuckhisbrotherisALIVE and the it'sallmyfaultthisismyfaultididthis and hugs his nephew (who is. trembling. what the fuck did you do, nathaniel.)
and not to mention the othersāthatās a lot of revelations to process at onceāand then like. how this could possibly go over with mr. curtain and the whisperer and all. but like just. aaaaa im many thoughts, head full, much feelings, heart aching
dailybridgerton
2087
discoholicmusic
titsay
