BPD ftw

I have BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) and this is where I will dump all of my thoughts, struggles, and triumphs related to my mental illness(es) TRIGGER WARNING: suicidal ideation, self-harm, physical and sexual abuse, and alcoholism. PLEASE don't follow if you are sensitive to these topics

[altergeist]

garbage brain: the best way to deal with things is by avoiding them

me, already suffering from doing just that: you know what? you’re a fucking genius

[shewhomustnotbenamed46]

Me: Wow! Life is going really well right now. I’ve had such a good week!

My traumatic memories: Hey, is this a bad time?

[crossing-theborderline]

You wouldn't like me if you knew what went on inside of my head

[autasticanna]

Facts that adults don’t tell you about bullying

- Communication doesn’t work on bullies. Telling a bully they’re making you feel bad is the wrong way to go. They want to make you feel bad. That’s the point.

- being kind to a bully doesn’t always mean they’ll stop. Sometimes it means they’ll just use your kindness to manipulate you while still continuing to bully you.

- not every bully has a sympathetically tragic home life. Sometimes people are just mean. Sometimes people just get off on hurting others.

- on that note, a tough home life is a reason, not an excuse. You don’t have to put up with bullying because somebody’s life sucks, just like you don’t have to let someone mug you because they’re broke.

- in order to forgive someone, they have to apologize first. If your bully has not apologized to you, you do not owe them anything.

- getting bullied as a kid can still mess you up in adult life. Maybe kids grow out of being bullies, but the marks they left often don’t go away.

- there are ways to get people to stop bullying you, but they almost all involve being mean back.

- as long as parents keep raising shitty bullying kids, there will be bullies. No amount of assemblies and hand-drawn posters will fix the problem. It’s the parents’ fault.

[13faeinapenguinsuit]

- It’s not your responsibility to fix your bully or to stop the abuse they send your way, but some adults sure will act like it is.

[emeraldmercury]

- Many times (especially in the case of girls) your friends can be your bullies. This makes things even worse as these are people who know you and your intimate secrets and use them to their advantage. If your friends are bullies, don’t take crap from them. Get new friends. 

[tamascotchi-deactivated20190101]

im gonna throw in that its never your fault, people will pick a target to gang up on because theyd rather it be you than them. even if you think “this must be because im weird”- everyone is weird, in different ways. anyone can be made a target. it’s not just you for some reason in particular, i promise.

[orkestrations]

and bullying is absolutely a form of abuse! i hear people talking about “oh it’s just bullying it’s not abuse” but no! bullying is just a pretty term we slap on there so that no one has to actually worry about the consequences for the students who are being abused by their peers!

[carbonated-milk-deactivated2016]

hey if ur ever feelin shitty use this

[matt-the-blind-cinnamon-roll]

Holy shit I’m trying not to cry.

[infestationofmymind]

i really needed this one tonight

[sidestepup2thestreets]

omfg

[yaboispencer-deactivated2020092]

Do it!!!

[evantheterror-deactivated202101]

I need to cry

[its-murderous-business]

EVERYONE DO IT

[wormsdyke]

I fully expected to be Rick rolled and I was instead very, very pleased

[remvslvpjn-archive]

DO IT

[yolkygoblin]

@fairyfairypie @fadeslikewhispers @tobilovesturtles

[riverdalelockscreens]

this is so pure

[16screamingferalrats]

;-;

[captain--space--buns]

Holy shit, okay, I didn’t know I needed to cry today, thanks ya’ll! 💛

@maciesparkles2020

[enchantingphillie-deactivated20]

the pureness is real

@lampco

[lampco-deactivated20220227]

Everyone who follows me do this it’s amazing

[lifeofcynch]

awww!! :D

[fae-boi-uwu]

I was having a sort of rough day and this certainly helped a bit…

[blog-ahuva-herut]

Oh my goooooosh!!!

It was not what I was expecting, and I can’t stop smiling now…

@peri-the-smol-potato

[peri-the-smol-potato]

QwQ

@boyinthehat @chocolate-and-cookies @shadow-realm-001 @askneonandfriends @atlasspacekid @foxmunsfandombox @a-little-siph-simphony

[m3lth3gh0st]

^ w ^

@moonfang03 @moonshinedk-me

[misfitoffate]

[anxietyproblem]

[crossing-theborderline]

Wondering if your traumatic memories are actually real or if you made them all up to get attention and somewhere along the way just started believing them

[anxietyproblem]

[anxietyproblem]

[buumblegum]

You ever convince yourself that you’re so annoying that you’re not allowed to post anything or text anyone because it’s so annoying and by some weird logic you convince yourself that even writing down your feelings is annoying so you feel like you’re collapsing in on yourself and you feel so awful and trapped and alone? because mood.

[valtsv]

me, after indulging in a new obsession so completely i let it consume my every waking moment:

[thedarkperidot]

Signs you grew up lonely

- Chasing people who don’t want you

-Making up lots of stories and worlds

-Overtalking whenever there’s someone to talk to

-Excessive reading

-Daydreaming

-Clinging emotionally to others

-Being the ‘disposable’ friend in the group

-Excessive baths

-Talking to oneself

-Obsessive friendships

-Excessive helpfulness

[dirkfucker]

reblog if you:

- flinch away when someone touches you.

- panic when you accidentally break an object.

- get scared when someone walks behind you.

- feel your heart rate increase at every sudden noise.

- are easily panicked by slightly-louder-than-normal sounds.

- stare apprehensively at your bedroom doorway for hours at night.

- have trouble making eye contact with people.

- always feel either too mature or too immature for your age.

- simultaneously crave and be terrified of physical contact.

because i do all of these

[onlyalienking]

U h

[tequilamerlin]

`

[bipolarblueberries]

Stigma against disabled people, mentally and physically, is deeply ingrained in our culture. Growing up I was taught that mentally ill people were dangerous and violent people and that physically disabled people were to be pitied and I never questioned it. It was a behaviour I saw mirrored around me in every person I met. Disabled people were kept seperate or hidden from me and I remained ignorant of how my actions effected them and how I allowed the cycle of ableism continue. Even when I got diagnosed at 14 with Bipolar Type 1, I was told ‘you’re bipolar but your not like THOSE people’ and again, I accepted it out of ignorance. Schizophrenia and personality disorders remained scary, it was something depicted in horror movies and used to terrify those who paid to watch it. Bipolar people were irresponsible and weird, people with anxiety and depression and those who self harmed were attention seekers.

It took me until about 17 to realize I was being a massive fuckhead but the effects were already internalized. THOSE people had bipolar like I did, why did the people I love view them as lesser and suddenly saw me as an exception? They had the same disorder I do and the same symptoms I do, what made them lesser? What made me better? Over time the questions cemented themselves in my mind and I began to think of myself the same way, something dangerous and ugly that needed to be hidden, something to be ashamed of. Whenever I failed at something due to my illnesses, I became even worse in the eyes of others but my family remained convinced I was different than other mentally ill people, I wasnt THOSE kind of disabled people.

As I grew, mental illness and disability became something I was comfortable with, not that I had a choice as diagnoses continued to pile up, but I stopped seeing it as shameful and something to be hidden. It was a part of me and nothing to make me any lesser or bigger than anyone else, nor was it something to fear. But the fact remains that ableism is ingrained in our society, no one is born racist or sexist or homophobic or ableist. It’s a learned behaviour inheritated from our fore fathers generations ago when mental illnesses were demons that needed to be exorcised from our bodies. Ableism is present until you notice it, when you or someone you love has their life changed by a diagnosis, and the ableism needs to be banished from you lest you or your loved one suffer at its hands. And the fact that the ableism only seems to leave when forced to by being personally affected makes me really fucking sad.

About 1 in 5 adults in the United States experience mental illness in a given year

About 1 in 25 adults in the United States experience a serious mental illness that substantially interferes with or limits their lives

About 1 in 5 youths ages 13-18, a little over 21 percent, experiences a severe mental disorder at some point in their lifetime

Suicide is one of the most common causes of death in adolescence

This isn’t a small problem and it’s not a rare occurence, but why is mental illness only scary until mental illness means you?

[aninactivebloggfgfgf]

Reblog if you experience depersonalization or derealization

Trying to prove a point to myself about what I was trying to communicate to my doctor today

[willmikeel]

It’s difficult and not a lot of people understand it

[8d-smile]

Bpd things nobody talks about

Having a mental breakdown and being fine 3 seconds later

Self harming so “others see how bad it really is”

Impulsiveness on all levels

Including random needs to tell others/your fp how much they mean to you but also hating them randomly

Wanting to have something tragic happen to you which doesn’t kill you but harms you

Having no idea who you are/what you want

Self harm to calm yourself down