Cry the Millennial @crythemillennial - Tumblr Blog

notyourmage

l20music-deactivated20151007

Same.

thornycactus

I’m the person who knows their Hogwarts house but not their blood type

arasellle-deactivated20201117

I know mine. it’s

pureblood

madamnoisellecormier

THIS IS LITERALLY THE BEST THING I HAVE SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFETIME

Friendship!

I am rich in Friendship!

I have bought many stocks in Friendship!

And I recently attended the IPO for Friendship!

I am a hedge fund manager billionaire, all thanks to Friendship!

#friends!#friendship!#friends #friendships #BFF #BF #freind #money #IPO #initial public offering #of friend #poem #poetry #stocks #bonds #james bonds #millennial #cry the milllennial #crythemillennial

Walk Two Moons

Remember how your grandma got bit by a snake?

Yeah. That sucked.

Anyway, here’s suburbia, it’s a metaphor for a bunch of stuff

#walk two moons #sharon creech #i am a scholastic reader #scholastic reader #scholastic #fantastic #two #moons #poem #poetry #millenniall #cry the millennial #CTM

Oh, you have a retirement plan?

How wonderful!

I make life decisions based on

Existential crisis

So, I super get it

We are the same

#poem #poetry #retirement #retirement plan #adult #adulting #crisis #existential crisis #what #why #whay #millennial #cry the millennial #crythemillennial

I once told a man that there was nothing to be done

To be fair, that is a very misleading way of saying that I did not want to have sex

It was very unclear

#super unclear #not clear #i apologize #weird way to say it #should have said it better #he was sad but also confused #poem #poetry #sex stuff?#man #unclear very #millennial #crythemillennial #cry the millennial

I will raize your child

Yea he will be fallow

His crops burnt to a crisp

And cursed for many moons after

$15/hour, tip isn’t necessary but appreciated

#baby #babysitting #homophone #homophones #crops #raise #raize #fallow #renaissance #medieval times???#poem #poetry #millennial #cry the millennial

Sh.

yeah but

no

yeah but

no

yeah but

like

no

#but #like #so #i mean #yea #ok #yeah #yeah.#mhm #yes #poem #poetry #yeash #crythemillennial #millennial #cry the millennial

Sure

I paid $30

To get my eyebrows shaped

But you spent

Two hours

Arguing with your improv team

Let us just agree

That many children are starving.

#poem #poetry #use of time?#capitalism #capitalism?#thirty dollars #money #improv #improv team #children #sad children #hungry probably #millennial #crythemillennial #cry the millennial

Hella Bees

In Hella Threes

Who’s in Hella?

That is Mees

#poem #poetry #millennial #crythemillennial #cry the millenial #bees #threes #bee #what #where #what bee #b #<-------THERE THERES THE BEE #lawls

Welcome to the Beer Garden

Welcome to the beer garden! What do we grow here? Many plants, bearing fruits of

Bottom heavy men

Problematic opinions

Probably nachos?

#football #beer #beer garden #garden #drink outside #drink the sadness #bottom heavy #bottom #nachos #nachos?#probabyl nachos #problematic #poem #poetry #millennial #crythemilllennial #cry the millennial

I get an hour for lunch!

Forgetting!

That I am a!

Human!

Fucking!

Being!

A full hour!

FOR LUNCH!

#work #working #lunch #lunchtime #paid lunches #human being #life is misery #at least i got lunch #poem #poetry #millennial #cry the millennial #ctm #woweeeeowowowo #my wiiiife

And Now, A To-Do List

1. Don’t Fuck It Up

#don't fuck it up #i fucked it up #fuckit #fukditup #to do list #millennial #crythemillennial #cry the millennial #to-do #i bitched it up to #poem #poetry

I enjoy being invited to your board game nights

It is good that we can admit to ourselves

Right up top

That we are bad at conversation

#poem #poetry #millennial #cry the millenial #board game #board games #games #conversation #conversationalist #game #fuck your board game night tanya #yo #lawlz

That’s not a woman at all!

It is just

Three

Carefully Curated

Internet Presences

In a trenchcoat

#internet #internet presence #three #three kids in a trenchcoat #scooby doo #woman #not a woman?#curating #curate #trenchcoat #trenchcoats #poem #poetry #lol #millennial #cry the millennial #CTM

SJP (Social Justice Parker)

Last night as I fell asleep

I invented the word Patri-menarche

And I woke up with three new blogs under my pillow

#SJP #social justice #patriarchy #menarche #blogs #sleeping #pillow #blogging #i am bloggerst #bloagin #bloaged #blug #poem #poetry #millennial #cry the millenial #crythemillennial

Ben Folds Fries

For my

Ben Folds Thighs

Make your lips tell me

Ben Folds Lies

#poem #poetry #lol #comedy #ben folds five #fries #thighs #lips #puns #pun #crythemillennial #millennial

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