໒꒱

[cuddlpillar]

♱ㅤㅤ𓏏𓏏ㅤㅤjunoㅤorㅤjuneㅤㅤ∗

━━━╋ㅤㅤOSDDㅤ◞ㅤMDDㅤ◞ㅤMAD

𐔌ㅤㅤ𓏏𓏏ㅤㅤmirror / he / she prnsㅤㅤ𓋜

𓏏𓏏ㅤㅤblog tagsㅤㅤ↶

ᰋ ˓ ♡ j's diary :ㅤa daily diary thread, aesthetically organized and laid out, posted daily as an update to my life (no venting ever!).

ᰋ ˓ ♡ j's offtopics :ㅤofftopic posts not related to the diary, will have a break + warning if they contain nsfw.

ᰋ ˓ ♡ j's media :ㅤmedia posts, will have a seperate tag if they have art (ie; 'art post').

ᰋ ˓ ♡ j's vents :ㅤstraight vent posting, will have a warning and a break.

ᰋ ˓ ♡ other fronter posting :ㅤused if the Host isnt fronting. all alters have their own post tags.

݁ ˖Ი𐑼⋆ links ⠀.ᐟ

carrd

tiktok

twt (semi ia)

most interests listed in tags!! ask to be moots!

[iethusmatthw]

icons for artfight

[yaelokre]

"Insatiable"

Description: As I split myself in two; a pair of dogged personas are given room to discover each other’s contradictory methods towards satisfaction. Whilst they navigate their morals and argue direction, they find themselves content to be amongst company as insatiable. Revealing a common goal of keeping one another safe through means unique to their nature.

[iethusmatthw]

happy pride month yall

[iethusmatthw]

old man yaoi need i say more

[cuddlpillar]

sorry for venting so much ill stop being sad now

[cuddlpillar]

venting abt multiple things ok sorreehh

both of my irls are so triggering. one triggers my sh by litterally having her entire arm scratched up and showing me her fresh sh, the other is super skinny and standing next to her make me feel like a fatass. neither of their faults, genuinely, its just annoying to me when i feel good and then i get to school and my friend is wearing a cute outfit that would litterally only look good on her and the ither one has FRESH fucking cuts on her arm while wearing a tshirt. i deadass just purge all day and relapse when i get home. this is slowly becoming a common experience i just need school to be DONE bro. maybe when i loose all this fucking weight ill actually feel loveable again. it really sucks. but whatever ill keep being an anchor for everyone else while i sink to the bottom of everything. when everyone else is sad and fucked up it makes me feel like i cant be sad too, cause that will just make them sadder. i dont want this to be like "wow ok i just wont be sad around you anymore" like no. be sad and complain to me about everything and anything i honestly dont mind, but when im sad too dont expect me to vent to you; it just makes me feel like dead weight thatd just dragging others down when they themselves could be getting better. ffuuccckkk whatever im done

[cuddlpillar]

this is a vent okay tw below pls dont read

im so jealous of other peoples scars, like, yours are purple or red and clustered all perfectly and mine arent. i feel like im larping sh because for the longest time i only did cat scratches and only now im doing it differently. i like my new scars but all my other ones are super faded and it SUCKS because i really want to lock in on my them but its SUMMER and i litterally cannot relapse anymore because i have a trip i have to go to in less than a month that i would love to wear a bathing suit for...!!!!!!! genuinely whatever ill just lock in after the trip because my house has ac anyway🥹💔

[cuddlpillar]

when i have to take meds with food i just drink milk instead because im a food HATER!!!! 🤬🤬🤬

[cuddlpillar]

hi.

minor nsfw + vent + talk of cocsa

as much of a freak that i am, jokingly, with myself, with my partner, ect, i just know if it actually came down to actual sex i would feeeze up and panic. It's not like i wouldnt want it; im sure i would, but thats a trauma response that i have, even alone, with myself in my dark room. the dark does help sometimes , but sometimes i genuinely just start.. well. panicking. Sometimes, when im alone late at night, i try again. I cant help but freeze up. I dont know how to forgive her. i know she didnt mean too, and she apologized. i thought i forgave her, that this was over and i could move on, but these panic attacks are just getting worse. and those episodes; that even happen when im trying to sleep; they scare me away from trying. I think id rather tell everyone im asexual rather then try and just freeze up like a opposum or something during sex, cause if my terrible personality dont scare people off, that definitely will.

and if my gf is reading im sorry. i wish i could be better for you. maybe one day i can.

ok im done bye sorry for da rant

[cuddlpillar]

Siz seven

six seven

[cuddlpillar]

currently being risky asf and wearing a short skirt with tights. if anyone notices my legs im highkey cooked and chopped liver i will simply pass away

[cuddlpillar]

୨९ ┊ 𓌔 J's Diary – day 1

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꒱ ┊‎ ＞ morning

⟡ ౿ i went to school for the first part of yhe day. we finished The Social Network in english, and we got to play in band today. Theres 6th graders coming next wednesday to try out intrusments so im a tad nervous. 6th graders can be brutal, and hella stinky. i also did not finish my whole salad since the croutons were bitter </3 ◞

꒱ ┊‎ ＞ afternoon

⟡ ౿ did a test in chem and then got picked up for my hair appoitment. For some reason it didnt book properly?? so she snuck us in. i felt so terrible but she was nice about it anyhow. we had supper at BP, and then we drove home. ◞

꒱ ┊‎ ＞ evening

⟡ ౿ did barely anything, talked to my wife, watched the new FlameFrags episode, and now im writting this hmm.. okay. good night yall ◞

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[cuddlpillar]

my memory loss is genuinely insane. i cant remember anything from my childhood nor do i remember any of my birthday parties from when i was little. every memory i have is fake or extremely exagerated. i dont forget faces, or names, or birthdays, but somedays i blank out and wake up days later, not knowing what happened in the prior days before coming back. i assume keeping a diary would help, but im past the point of caring anymore

[cuddlpillar]

sitting on the toilet and making eyecontact with my cat like hello little lad why are you in here even

[cuddlpillar]

i just got so insanely sad for some reason i really hate these new meds

[cuddlpillar]

id vent on here but i genuinely already feel annoying enough