I became the salt.

Oli, short for Olivia | 26 | arkansas Formerly oliviafbarry, colonelolimcoli, spookyoli, loliviaki, olifredlordtennyson, fscottfitzgeroli House Stark King of Camelot Queen Jaeger pilot Maker of Mischief Citizen of Asgard and Frost Giant

[cullenrutherfoli]

Thursday:

Me, to my mom: Mom, for your birthday I’m going to pay off my phone and get my own plan.

Mom: ahhhh thank you, sweetie.

Me: Alright, so I did the legwork on this one to figure out how this needs to go down. Basically, you just have to call into AT&T and have them make a note on the account that I’m taking responsibility for my phone number.

Mom: Cool cool. I can do that. They’ll probably want me to pay the bill since it’s past due. I just hate paying it.

Me: Well, I went ahead and paid my phone off so it did reduce it by about $30. (Essentially the next payment on my installment plan).

Mom: Okay, can do.

Today:

Gonna get a new phone and ease financial responsibility on my mom.

AT&T: Yeah, she’s still gotta do the things.

Me: Dope.

[valtsv]

me waiting in the grounds of my vampire wife’s castle estate for her to let me back inside after she banished me during an argument

[cullenrutherfoli]

I live a decent enough way out of the flood situation for Little Rock and North Little Rock along the Arkansas River and these pictures are legitimately terrifying. NLR has floodgates and this is the first time they’ve been used to my knowledge along with sea walls and sandbags backing up what they can.

Credit to @brianemfinger on Twitter.

[cullenrutherfoli]

Anyone else’s Pinterest a hellscape of a former self? Because I could do without 78% of shit I’ve looked up in the past.

Let’s keep it at recipes, tattoos, and braids pls.

[taliasburns]

x.

[showerthoughts-lol]

I don't think I have ever picked up a pair of tongs without clicking them together a couple of times.

[cillart]

Gotta make sure they work

[shinosarna]

channel your inner crab

[shut-up-jab]

[yeehawbisexual]

soo…. y’all just learned nothing

[bob-belcher]

[endmyreign]

[i-was-today-years-old-when]

i learned that Spongebob’s parents 

are not cookies but dried out sponges

[dim-keepitl0ve-deactivated20240]

Driedddddd???!!

[officialrung-deactivated2020010]

you should never date someone for the sake of dating someone. you should be good friends, if not best friends with your partner. if you cant go to your partner for personal advice, if youre afraid to call your partner out on something, if you cant laugh and have fun with your partner, or if your conversations are only ever performative affection, you don’t have a good relationship

[babyanimalgifs]

Best alarm clock ever.

via @winnie.and.malla

[huskergal93]

Please unmute. Your heart will thank you.

[brandon-the-human]

me: … anyway *spends money*

[stefon-rneyers]

Now, Weekend Update with…

[zappavolta]

Game of Thrones should end how Monty Python Holy Grail ended where a bunch of cop cars come n arrest them all

[fromanotherroom]

Visit Original Link

Mr. Brightside playing from another room The Killers

[natkatlat]

Outside of a school dance waiting for your mom to pick you up after your girlfriend broke up with you in the early 2000s

[cullenrutherfoli]

List of reasons why the old man on the balcony directly above is going to deal with the musics on my patio sits:

1. My patio is covered in birdseed shells every goddamn day regardless of how much I sweep because he not only has bird feeders, but small grade leaf blowers the seed shells off that also end up on my patio.

2. Before I deep cleaned the railing, it was covered in bird poop.

3. He drops his banana peels over the balcony into the mulch where they will do literally nothing.

4. Has poured water or something over the front of the patio, that has splashed on me.

5. Has poured a bleach mixture over the side of the patio that has splashed a little on my boyfriend.

Point being, we have to live in this space together and if I’m dealing with your bullshit, you’re gonna deal with mine.

[izkim]