Amity Parkers are Kryptonians in the same way a de-feathered chicken is a man.
Summary; Clark's pretty sure the new intern, Samantha Manson, is secretly a Kryptonian.
But this isn't about him.
This is about Sam and her new, more interesting than Danny coworker; Jimmy Olsen.
~~~~~~
It was Samâs first day as an Intern at the Daily Planet, and sheâd found someone very interesting.
"Who is...Jimmy Olsen. What is Jimmy Olsen?" Sam muttered into her recorder as she watched the man in question hang upside down from a thirteenth story window, just to take a good picture of...something. A bird or a plane or someshit.Â
"I hypothesize that the man is a freak," she continued, turning around and missing the bird-plane streak by in a blur of red and blue, "A level of freak I intend to meet."
~~~~~~
Jimmy had four arms now, as well as terrifying mandibles and way too many eyes.
Sam diligently took notes, making sure to translate his horrified, garbled screams as well as she could.
Unfortunately, Superman swept in and managed to nab the mad scientist and douse Jimmy in the cure at pretty much the same time.
~~~~~~
Sam was using her strength, as a human so contaminated with Ecto she was liminal, to hold Jimmy Olsen in the air by the ankle with one hand. The other hand? Was punching aliens in the face and yanking their weapons out of their hands.
Not that he was aware she was doing that, because he was so distracted with getting the perfect camera shot of the alien invaders of the week that heâd missed the oneâs trying to sneak up on him.
Honestly, most of Samâs concentration was on not squeezing her hand.
She didnât want to break any bones, after all.
It was right as that thought passed her mind that Superman appeared, seemingly out of nowhere, and scared the shit out of her, resulting inâŠher squeezing her hand.
Jimmy was in a cast for far longer than it took her or anyone else from Amity to recover from something as small as a broken bone.
~~~~~~
It was Tuesday, and true to form, Jimmy had been kidnapped.
Sam, as she had the past seven Tuesdays, made sure she was taken along for the ride. Sheâd even had to knock out the teeth of the head kidnapper to convince them that, as most people already knew, ignoring Samantha Manson was a terrible idea.
The kidnappers had let her in the van, refusing to meet her eyes. When she insisted they tie up her wrists, a few of them started crying, so she didnât push it.
The entire drive to the typical decrepit warehouse, the kidnappers kept looking back at her and flinching.Â
Wussies.
But she could put up with them being babies; as long as she got to study the enigma that was Jimmy, it was fine.
What wasnât fine was the fact that when Superman swept in to save Jimmy Olsen again, the kidnappers pointed at Sam and said sheâd kidnapped them.
âI only knocked out a few teeth, so what? Theyâll grow back, itâs not a big-!â
âOh, I get it now. No. No, Miss Manson, human adult teeth donât grow back.â Superman said gently, going from aggressively confused to pitying.
Sam broke her hand on his jaw in response; she hated people pitying her. Also, she was more than a little embarrassed that sheâd forgotten non-liminal people were slightly limited in the amount of teeth they could have.
Her hand healed in the normal amount of time for a person from Amity Park; two whole days.
~~~~~~
Jimmy was looking at her over their desks, trying to be sly about it.
Sam was pretending not to notice, slowly growing more and more annoyed.
â...Is there a problem?â She finally asked, slowly looking up to meet Jimmyâs eyes.
âHow did you not shatter your hand when you punched Superman? Why do you think âhumanâ teeth grow back?â Jimmy responded, almost like those questions had been waiting on the tip of his tongue for who knew how long.
âI didnât shatter my hand because I wasnât actually trying to hurt him, and the other oneâŠI made a mistake.â
Jimmy hesitated, pursing his lips and seeming to take a moment to think.
âSoâŠif you tried to punch Superman, and you meant to hurt him, do you think you actually could?â
Sam leaned back in her chair, giving the question some thought.
Superman was notorious for being weak to magic, and liminality was just another form of death magic. Granted, it was a form of death magic so strong it mutated the living, but magic was magic.
âFirst off, I donât fight for a living,â Sam started, shrugging; her days as one of Team Phantom were long past. âI used to, but I donât anymore, so Iâm not asâŠfighty, I guess, as Superman. But I could probably give him a black eye, if he was nice enough to let the punch land after letting me wind up.â
âOh.â Jimmy said, voice slightly higher than normal. âWell alright then.â
âYup.â
âSo where are you from again?â
âClassified.â
~~~~~~
Jimmy, true to Jimmy form, had a newâŠsituation.
It was Friday, and apparently he was being possessed by a minor god.
A minor god that was not cooperating.
âItâs a simple series of questions, and I realy donât know why youâre fighting me on this.â Sam groaned, valiantly resisting the urge to throw her notepad at possessed Jimmyâs head.
âPlease. I just want to go back to my realm, I wonât bother people in this one anymore, I just-â
âWhat are you the god of? What is your name? What was the purpose of possessing Jimmy Olsen? Why did you target Jimmy Olsen?â Sam reiterated, as she had been for the past seven hours. âIs Jimmy Olsen a beacon of some sort? Is there a curse on JImmy Olsen?â
Sam paused, a new thought occurring to her with such suddenness she gasped.
âWait, isâŠis this an attempt to woo Jimmy Olsen?!â
âPlease. Please just let me go!â
âJust answer the questions or I start pulling fingernails!â
âIf you torture me in this form, the boy will also suffer!â
âFirst off, heâs a grownass man. Second, heâs a freak so heâll be fine. Probably. Fingernails grow back anyways, itâs barely a pinch for humans, it doesn't hurt at all.â
âMiss Manson, please donât refer to Mister Olsen as a freak. Also, youâre getting confused about human limitations again.â Superman added politely, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder.
âNo, Iâm not! I googled it! Human fingernails grow back!â Sam spat, shrugging out from under the Man of Steelâs grip.
âMaâam, your misjudging human limitations concerning pain.â Superman explained, strained but patient.
Sam paused.
Sam took a moment to remember two days ago, when Perry bumped his foot into one of the desks and spent a whole hour cursing.
All that just for a broken pinky toe.
â...Fine. YouâŠmight have a point.â
~~~~~~
The GIW sat across from Sam in a meeting room at the Daily Planet.
Apparently, dodging her court-mandated meeting with them by not going to her apartment just meant theyâd turn up at her place of work.
Charming.
âAnd youâve intruded on my basic rights becauseâŠ?â Sam started the meeting, unimpressed.
âWe have been trying to reach you for mandatory debrief for the past three months, Miss Manson. You know why.â Agent Tweedledee said, deadpan.
âUgh. No, I havenât told anyone where Iâm from. No, I havenât used my powers in front of anyone. No, I havenât broken any of your stupid, nonsensical rules.â Sam droned, tallying each point with a finger.
âInteresting. Our sources say they caught youâŠholding a grown man upside down with one hand.â Agent Tweedledee countered, also looking as bored as Sam felt.
Sam said nothing, continuing to stare at the agents.
âAfter which you crushed his ankle,â Agent Tweedledum added, pushing a folder with Jimmy Olsenâs X-Rays towards her.
âI donât think you having these X-Rays is HIPAA compliant,â Sam said, pushing them back.
âI donât think you understand how big of a security risk having you, any of you, blending in with normal humans is,â Agent Tweedledum said, pushing them right back at her. âAnd if this is how youâre going to try to âblend inâ, then maybe we need to pull this initiative back. Whatâs next, casually flying to reach something on a tall shelf?â
âIndeed,â Agent Tweedledee said, leaning forward to get in Samâs face. âPerhaps it would be better if the lockdown was re-initiated. An entire town of people like youâŠitâs too dangerous to just let you wander-âÂ
âExcuse me!â Clark Kent said, popping his head into the meeting room. Sam took a brief moment to clock that his eyes were glowing a little reddish, but otherwise he seemed normal.
Stressed, but normal.
âYou are intruding-â
âI was just wondering if you had a warrant?â Kent cut in, blinking his eyes and readjusting his glasses. When he was done, the red had faded.
The agents paused, looking at each other.
âWe donât need one.â Agent Tweedledee said, deftly sweeping the folder full of X-Rays closed.
âActually, you do,â an entirely new voice joined the fray, and some man who reeked of money walked in. He was wearing a stupidly expensive suit, and looked incredibly windswept for some reason.
Sam hated him on principle.
The Agents also seemed to hate him on principle, if how they started packing up was any indication.
âHello, my name is Bruce Wayne, and I own the Daily Planet,â Bruce Wayne said, all fake smiles and fake cheer. âThat makes this private property.â
âWe have a government ordinance-â
âMy private property,â Bruce Wayne interrupted, stopped a mere few inches away from the now standing Agent Tweedledee. âYou donât have a warrant. Get out.â
Sam stayed seated, eyeing the proceedings.
Contrary to what she expected though, instead of pulling out guns and threatening people, the Agents just walked around Bruce Wayne and started for the door.
âIf Miss Manson goes missing?â She heard Clark Kent mutter to them as they passed, âWe will post her name everywhere we can, as well as pictures of your faces.â
âWhat pictures?â Agent Tweedledum asked, right before a camera flash blinded the man.
âThese pictures. Leave Miss Manson alone!â Jimmy spat, darting out of reach.
Past him, the entire office was full of silent reporters, standing and watching the agents.
âIf they ever contact you again, or violate your rights again, call me,â Bruce Wayne muttered, handing her a card.
~~~~~~
Jimmy had become telekinetic. Somehow.
Theyâd been interviewing some scientist new to Metropolis, Sam had turned her back on him for all of four minutes, and when she turned around he was two feet off the ground, surrounded by random objects.
Honestly she hadnât even been aware thereâd been anything that could mess with humans in the lab, so she had no idea what heâd touched.
The scientist was rambling about how his invention worked, and that all he would need to do was initiate Jimmyâs âinner powerâ to create a bomb so destructive even Superman couldnât stop it.
Which proved her initial suspicions that he was an evil scientist, and surprised her not at all.
Sam calmly reached out and grabbed the scientist by the throat, cutting off his air supply.
âShhh. Shut up. No more words from you. Jimmy, I have some questions, please cooperate.â
Superman didnât even take four minutes to show up for that one.
Apparently, Superman gave Jimmy a button for when Sam âforgot how human limitations workedâ.
She was confused, as she hadnât even touched Jimmy, but then Superman had gently pried her fingers off of the mad scientist's neck. Who was unconscious.
Oh.
Right.
Humans, ones that werenât tainted with Ecto, couldnât go that long without oxygen.
~~~~~~
âIt was self defense, I swear!â Sam shouted into the phone, running through the streets.
âWhat was self defense?!â Bruce Wayne shouted back, noises from his side of the call indicating he was scrambling for something.
âThey had cuffs and a gun! I grabbed a thing and stabbed one of them with it and probably broke the other one!â Sam took a turn, dodging into an alleyway to buy more time as she outran the GIW unit trying to chase her down.
âBroke the other oneâs what?!â
âI donât know! It made a crunching sound and he started throwing up!â
âMiss Manson, thereâs no way I can get there on time. Can you shout for Superman?â
âI tried, he isnât here or someth-â Sam was cut off as a hand shot out from one of the doorways and yanked her inside.
Or, they tried to.
Sam snarled, turning and raising her fistâŠonly to be met with the face of Jimmy Olsen.
âIn here! Quickly!â He whispered, tugging at her arm again.
Sam jumped to follow, the door shutting behind her with a soundless click.
Four minutes later, a stampede of footsteps went past, not even slowing down to consider the door.
Panting, she took a moment to look around.
It wasâŠthe weirdest basement sheâd ever seen. There were broken cameras hanging from the ceiling, rows of film cartridges lining metal shelves, and a glowing lock on the door sheâd just been dragged through.
Most concerning was the Ghostspeak written on the glowing lock. Sure, it was in a weird dialect, but sheâd recognize it anywhere.
â...Jimmy, tell me honestly. Are you in a cult?â Sam asked, still catching her breath.
âNo? This is just one of my safespots. Superman helped me outfit it, because IâŠuhâŠâ
âGet kidnapped or targeted at least three times a month. Understandable.â Sam finally noticed the shouting coming from her phone and put it up to her ear. âIâm fine; Jimmy has a safehouse or something, and apparently they canât track me while Iâm in it.â
âMy lawyers are already on their way to the Daily Planet. Stay where you are, weâll sort this out.â
~~~~~~
Bruce Wayneâs lawyers were, evidently, terrifyingly competent.
Sam Manson and all Amity Parkers who were allowed to leave for the experimental integration process no longer had to debrief.
They got social workers. They had rights. They were put into contact with the Office for Extraterrestrial Immigration.
The GIW backed off.
From what Tucker told her, still tucked away in Amity, the choices the GIW had were to either concede to those stipulations, or reveal the existence of Amity and its people.
Granted, Tucker had already spread the news that Amity Parkers were guaranteed rights outside of Amity, and that the GIW couldn't legally do anything about it. There were already people planning to escape.
Tucker, in fact, wanted to know if Sam could use a couple of roommates.
~~~~~~
âThis is a âforkâ; it is a utensil used for foods that are not liquid.â Clark Kent said seriously, half leaned over his desk and slowly showing off a plastic fork.
Sam stared at the fork, unimpressed.
âAnd this? This is an âelbowâ. On humans, theyâre only supposed to bend like this,â the man said, using his own elbow as an example. âThey donât bend any other way. Please. Please remember that.â
Sam raised an eyebrow.
ââEyesâ are very important to humans, and they do not grow back or heal very well when impaled.âÂ
Sam was officially bored.
âNow, âforksâ are not supposed to go into âeyesâ,â Clark advised, holding the fork exaggeratedly far away from his face.
Lois, walking by, rolled her eyes.
âGods forbid women do anything,â she muttered.
~~~~~~
â<<Woah. And youâre sure heâs not one of us?>>â Tucker asked, flipping through Samâs âJimmy Notepadâ. They were taking a break from moving in, and Sam was excited to show them her Jimmy Notes.
â<<Completely.>>â
â<<Nah, heâs gotta at least be like Wes,>>â Danny disagreed, reaching out to go back a few pages and fully placing his weight against Tucker.
â<<Nope, his bones heal super slow and he canât even regrow any teeth. Superman said so.>>â
â<<Bullshit! Look here, he clearly shapeshifted! Normal humans canât do that!>>â Tucker said, jabbing his finger into her notebook with enough force that he almost poked a hole in it.
â<<Hey! Donât ruin my stuff!>>â
â<<Guys câmon, the buildings here are super delicate, we shouldnât fight!>>â
â<<Foods here!>>â Clark Kent interrupted, sticking his head in the living room.
Sam, Danny, and Tucker all turned as one to head for the kitchen.
â<<...Wait, he wasnât speaking English.>>â Danny muttered, pausing.
â<<I mean, neither were we?>>â Tucker asked, shrugging.
â<<Jimmy! Did you pick up my eggplant sandwich?>>â Sam shouted, shoving past her boys and into the kitchen.
Jimmy froze like a deer in headlights.
âUh. I donât know what you justâŠ?â
âSheâs asking if you remembered to pick up her eggplant sandwich,â Clarkâs son, Jon, said as he dug through one of the bags.
âOh! Yeah, of course.â
Sam decided that the Kents being able to speak Ghostspeak wasnât really any of her business.
After all, Jimmy Olsen was far more interesting to study than them.
~~~~~~
âItâs Tuesday.â Sam grumbled, her foot tapping on the ground.
âYes, it is.â Jimmy agreed, not seeming to pay attention.
âWhere are they?â Sam asked, looking for the kidnappers that were supposed to show up.
âThe numbers of attempted kidnappings have gone down because any group that would try isâŠwell, theyâre terrified of you.â Jimmy said, deliberately looking anywhere but at Sam.
Sam nodded, taking out her Jimmy Notepad.
His odd powers of luck seemed to be easily circumvented by just a few threats to outside sources. Interesting. So if she left, would his weird luck powers kick in again?
âIâm gonna leave for a few hours.â Sam said, standing up.
âItâs crunch time, Perry would kill you, and also that wonât work.â Jimmy droned, starting to sound bored.
â...Hey Jimmy, if I give you twenty bucks, would you go take pictures of a weird cult I heard about?â
âMiss Manson, no!â Clark Kent shouted from the other side of the newsroom. âI donât know what youâre trying to convince Jimmy to do, but stop!â
~~~~~~
âI wanna fight Superman,â Danny said, staring up at the man in question as he fought off yet another super-powered bad guy.
âPlease donât do that while youâre holding onto me,â Jimmy asked politely, still taking pictures of the fight as Danny held him off the edge of a building.
âIâm Jimmyâs coworker,â Sam hissed, glaring at Danny. She was the one who helped Jimmy get into weird and concerning places for good photos, not Danny!
Danny smiled smugly at her, not putting the wayward photographer down at all.
âYeah, but you broke both your arms blocking a punch, so nyeh.â
âThey arenât even compound fractures! The bones are still in place, theyâll heal in a couple of hours!â
âIt hasnât been a couple of hours though?â Tucker asked, briefly looking up from his phone.
Sam kicked him.
He kicked her back.
Neither noticed when Jimmyâs photos went from taking pictures of Supermanâs fight to taking photos of their play fight.
~~~~~~
âSam. Hey. Sam.â
Sam groaned and tilted her head back.
âWhat?â
âI donât know what you are butâŠyou can just break out of here, right?â Jimmy whispered, keeping himself between her and Lois, and the Big Bad Evil Guys of the month.
âIâm human, though?â
âI doubt that, though?â
âYouâre so rude.â
âIâm so sorry that my concern for you is making me more to the point.â
Sam tried to make a comeback, but the low, pulsing green light of those stupid rocks seemed to magnify her headache. Those rocks sounded like millions of people screaming, and the emotional drain connected to them was really messing with her.
It took all of her concentration not to throw up, let alone get into a pseudo-argument with Jimmy.
âWhatever. What is that glowing green shit they have?â
â...ItâsâŠitâs kryptonite. UhâŠSam? Hey, quick question, but are youâŠ?â
âNot now Jimmy, I have a migraine bad enough to warrant murder.â
âI think weâre gonna have to figure this one out without Sam, Jimmy,â Lois muttered, already halfway out of her restraints.
âBut sheâs gonna be okay, right?â Jimmy whispered, tense against Samâs back.
âSheâll be fine the faster we can get the Kryptonite away. Now, Jimmy, move!â
~~~~~~
âHow long was she exposed?â A voice asked, adding to Samâs headache.
âAn hour? Maybe two?â Jimmyâs voice said, winded.
âHer color already looks better, Kal. I think she just needs to sleep it off.â Lois voice added, accompanied by someone brushing her hair out of her face.
âWe need to keep an eye on-â
Sam interrupted Superman by throwing up on him.
Heâd spoken long enough, anyways. It was time for blessed silence.
~~~~~~
Sam woke up in her own bed, with a very excited Danny barely able to contain himself next to her.
Apparently, Superman had shown up to drop her off, and Danny had misunderstood the situation.
Danny had actually gotten to fight Superman.
And even though Danny tried to downplay certain crucial parts of it, Tucker filled in what he was cutting out; Danny had gotten his ass handed to him.
Not before heâd broken the Man of Steelâs nose, though.
Which the halfa was very proud of.
âKinda gross that he was covered in throw-up, though,â Danny conceded after a few hours, nose wrinkled. âOh yeah; your Jimmy is in the living room, asleep.â
âOn the couch, right?â Sam asked, still annoyed by remnants of her headache.
â...I mean. I was using the couch, soâŠâ Tucker muttered, defensive.
âYou didnât make the squishy, normal human with normal human bones and normal human joints sleep on the floor, right?â
Danny coughed slightly, standing up.
âIâll go put him on the couch.â
âDaniel James Fenton you better be careful, heâs delicate!â
~~~~~~
Sam was forced to take that back when she went over the security footage Tucker had gathered.
Jimmy Olsen had carried her through an enemy compound on his back, gotten into multiple fights at a clear disadvantage, and even made various pit stops to check Samâs pulse and breathing.
With a deep sigh, she pulled out her Jimmy Notepad again.
âWhy does he always disprove my theories and then add just as many new ones?â
~~~~~~
Jimmy was speaking the most mangled form of ghostspeak Sam had ever heard in her life.
â...You want to lick all the blue pebbles?â Sam translated for him into English.
Jimmy groaned, burying his face in his hands.
âNevermind. Iâm justâŠreally bad at learning new languages.â He sighed, shoulders slumped in defeat. âSuperman really tried to teach me butâŠâ
âWhat were you trying to say?â
â...âWhat kind of coffee do you want?â.â
"<<What kind of coffee do you want?>> is how you're supposed to pronounce that."
Jimmy tried to repeat it. Tried.
What came out wasâŠwell.
Sam felt her jaw drop along with the papers she was holding, rage building at the insult that just left Jimmyâs mouth.
Across the room, Clark Kent broke into a coughing fit so bad he was almost gagging.
âI messed it up again, didnât I?â
âI think you should go get coffee. Away from me. For about an hour or two.â
âWhat did I say?!â





















