Never kill yourself.
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@cutehoruss
Never kill yourself.
I'm trying to figure out a good way to say "you really should actually learn the basics of small talk" with sounding like I'm biased against autistic people.
So here's the thing:
I see a lot of neurodivergent people talk about small talk as this baffling and meaningless waste of time that neurotypicals do for some unknown reason, and as an autistic person in an industry that is extremely based on building relationships and engaging with others, I've actually found a few really key important pieces to small talk.
1. Small talk can make interactions feel less mercenary or transactional. Having even brief exchanges about something beyond the reason that you're interacting can make it feel less like the only goal of the interaction. Especially for relationships that are not fully transactional (e.g., coworkers), this can help build a relationship with them.
2. Small talk can be a way to find commonalities and help bridge cultural or power divides. Recently I was on a call with a couple of Indian colleagues, and while we were waiting for everyone else to join I asked them where they lived in India. They didn't expect that I had heard of it, but I knew it because my dad had traveled there for work every couple months for a year or so, so we could chat about it briefly. Even for a couple of minutes, we were able to connect on this unexpected commonality. If I hadn't had that connection, I would have been able to learn about somewhere, helping narrow the privilege gap of them being expected to know more about where I live than I am about where they live.
3. Small talk can show knowledge about a person, which both builds connections and indicates that you see their life as important enough to remember about. The stereotypical "How's the wife?/How are the kids?" shows that you know the person has a wife/kids and have enough interest in their life to even ask.
4. Small talk can ease tension and reduce pressure from others, especially in a professional setting if more junior members are expected to speak. Especially for junior staff members, it can be difficult to be the first person to talk and break the silence, so engaging in small talk beforehand allows for a lower-pressure transition from silence to whatever the presentation is about.
5. Small talk provides a low-risk way to identify commonalities. While conversations about religion, politics, etc. may lead to tension or discomfort, even if they bring out commonalities, small talk is specifically structured to minimize tension while still providing the opportunity to learn more about each other. A conversation about the weather can reveal that you both like hiking when it's nice out; a conversation about the weekend can reveal that you both have family in the same state.
Small talk in many cases is signaling, a way to indicate certain things to people. It's a more indirect version of it than many autistic people like, but it is one.
But, you cry, I don't know how to do small talk!
Small talk actually has some pretty clear guidelines, even if they are often unspoken.
You are generally always safe starting with a question.
Weather, traffic/travel, and non-political events are generally a safe bet, because those are commonalities even if you are in different locations. "It was so nice out here this weekend. What's the weather like near you?" "I got stuck in that big traffic mess on my way here. Did you get caught in that?"
If you have some knowledge about that person, use that to inform further questions. I knew my coworkers lived in India, so I asked where in India. If I had just known that they didn't live in the same country as me, I could have asked where they lived.
Let them offer information about their family before you ask about it. Family can be complicated, and if you wait for them to offer that will indicate what sort of information they are comfortable sharing. You can then mirror their language (e.g., if they mention a wife then you can ask how their wife is doing, if they mention a partner then you can ask how the partner is doing). If "how are they doing" feels too personal, language like "what are they up to these days?" can be a bit more neutral and feel less invasive. If you're really not sure, feel free to avoid questions about family altogether.
When asking about where someone is from, don't ask "where are you from originally?" unless you know for a fact that they are not from where you are. Instead, you can ask things like, "Did you grow up around here?" which is a more neutral phrasing. This is especially common for the area where I live where a huge percentage of people are transplants (including me) and so people who actually grew up in the area are a bit of a rarity.
Politics, religion, and money are generally not good starting points for small talk
Weather, traffic/commutes, non-political events, and weekends/time off are generally safe bets
People in Gaza especially healthcare workers still need esims. Please consider buying esims if you don't want to donate to the campaigns I have been sharing on my blog.
I recommend buying esims through the Crips for eSims for Gaza
Crips for eSims for Gaza is a collaboration between Jane Shi, Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha, and Alice Wong.
the most depressing part is that it's not even kamala's stance on genocide that is costing her the elections. i wish it were. it's people genuinely shifting for trump. but it's the pro-palestine movement that's going to get the blame for it.
obviously she fucked up on that front and on multiple other fronts (an understatement) but if these results have showed anything it's that the alt right white majority will never vote for a black woman even if she were perfect. but liberals will blame arabs for the faults of white nationalism and misogyny. at this point if you're blaming the pro-palestine movement and saying shit like "are you happy now? is this what you wanted?" you're just brimming with anti-arab hatred that you're desperate to release at any given opportunity
so what now? the genocide is still ongoing and the rise of fascism is unimpeded but now people will point to those most affected by it and saying "this is what you wanted, right?" and you and i could spend the next four years arguing and yelling at those people or we can do something that matters.
mahmoud needs to pay his fees in 5 days or he will fail this semester.
amal needs to meet the soaring prices of baby food in gaza for the sake of her daughter maryam.
look out for the vulnerable and watch out for the way people are venting their frustration at fascism by blaming its victims.
please reblog this version. anger without action is nothing. if you feel like this is the end of the world remember that this is just another day of the genocide for those in gaza.
Make the most of the next two months
Get all your vaccines
Travel while we have a functioning DOT
Read and buy books on feminism, anti-racism, pro-lgbt
Attend drag shows
Don't skip any of your classes
Read and buy history books
Find your out-of-state networks
Learn to carry cash
Get birth control solutions
Support the Biden/Harris administration
Postpone large purchases and save money
Be careful of what you say online, like un-ambiguous attacks against the incoming administration, especially in spaces that contain your full name or personal information
Feel free to add on.
wow! as a broke college kid, i wish there was a way to access books and movies as well as scientific articles that the new administration isn't necessarily a fan of. man. If only there was a free and trusted vpn ( up to 10 gigs of downloadable data) to use in conjunction with an anonymizing router (also free up to 10 gigs) to safely, er, permanently borrow media in an untraceable way as well as share files. Man, what's that browser that keeps your online activity anonymous? I'm awfully attached to firefox, personally. If only i had a browser extension that would throw a smoke screen over my browsing data while blocking ads at the same time.
what was i talking about? hmm. weird.
pov you’re on tumblr for halloween:
"we want to protect the kids!!"
— in a way that will also protect them from their parents & guardians right?
"what"
— if a parent or guardian wanted to abuse their child, would what you're trying to do make it harder for them?
"..."
— *pulls out a chart that shows 76% of abused children were victimized by a parent or legal guardian* will what you're advocating for make it easier for the majority child abusers, which is overwhelmingly parents & guardians, to get away with abuse?
"idk what this has to do with anything we just want to restrict children's freedoms more & give parents more control over them. you know. to protect them from adults who want to abuse them"
Every. Single. Time.
lots of people view protection as an extension of ownership and it shows
Vent art
bottom text
I'm really not apologetic with this hard stance, either. I'm very firm on this, too. My art has already been used, twice now by people who did not ask my permission, so they could "enhance it" with Gen AI. I really see nothing good coming from generative AI except poor excuses for laziness and glorified search engines that don't work.
This is an important time to make the distinction between generative and analytical AI. Analytical AI is what AI is supposed to be for. It’s all the boring stuff like analyzing data for patterns. For example, you probably heard about that AI that was designed to tell apart bear claws from croissants for a bakery that is now being used to detect cancer cells with greater accuracy than human doctors. That’s an analytical AI, while everything mentioned in the post above is generative AI. (Which sucks!)
do you guys have interests that you don’t talk about on your blog
yes, because i don’t want people to judge me negatively
yes, because i consider those interests embarassing
yes, because it’s not relevant to my blog theme/my image
yes, combination of the above
no???
nuance
results
They literally need to do another lockdown and give every citizen like a cool $50,000
Imagine jigsaw bringing the current torture puzzle to a screeching halt to announce over the PA system: “oh my god guys they got the pentagon!!”
If Saw was made pre-9/11 then it would just be an amusing coincidence but it’s a *2004* film which means somebody on set either thought it would be hilarious that 9/11 was the next day OR they thought it would be terribly tragic, and I don’t know which possibility is funnier.
hey guys, what do you think of my dinner?
(choose your words carefully)
This post has 1 set of parentheses.
This post has been enchanted with Smite II and Unbreaking.
what are you doing to me
Is this anything
vetted campaigns for gaza. 🍉🇵🇸
@ameera-anq : gofundme — €12,755/€20,000
@amnehsharif10 : gofundme — US$8,759/$90,000
@malkzaeem : gofundme — CA$19,540/$50,000
@burningnightgiver : gofundme — CA$5,596/$50,000
@salahaldinhor : gofundme — €784/€40,000
i urge everyone who sees this to share, at the very least, if you cannot donate. please, please, please do not scroll past without reblogging. this post will be updated as/if anyone else reaches out!
update, please share this version.
@firasmuhaisenn : gofundme — $CA2,820/$82,000
@moamenmajed-gaza : gofundme — US$3,736/$30,000
@asma-1s-blog : gofundme — US$163/$50,000
@alaakh9 : gofundme — €2,947/€20,000
@alhabil : gofundme — €9,237/€50,000
@dina179 : gofundme — CA$5,838/$20,000
@4-zien-yousef : gofundme — €4,773/€23,000
@isra-elazaiza : gofundme — CA$2,431/$48,000
another update.
@m430235341 : gofundme — €11,108/€35,000
@musababed : gofundme — €477/€7,000
@marwanmoh120 : gofundme — €0/€30,000
update.
@siiraj2024 : gofundme — CA$5,559/$82,000
@ayaalanqarsblog : gofundme — €1,756/€35,000
@amalashuor : gofundme — €11,342/€30,000
@save-mohamed-family : gofundme — €22,082/€40,000
i'm sorry i have been slow with updates ! also, zionists have unfortunately found this post so i want to remind everyone not to engage with these people. you cannot change their minds, and they do not deserve your time, attention, or any sort of platform. other than that, vetted links & information are available on all blogs linked.
wonky videogame dancing is so fucking fun i eat it up everytime like get it computer boy
go off
Kermit discovers a frog in his kitchen.
it actually is so poetic when someone on here is wildly homophobic/transphobic unprovoked and you go to their blog and it’s all posts like “i have no friends and ruin all my relationships” like. yeah girl i bet
“#save me god” i don’t think he can, beloved❤️