🪷

certified bkg defender

[cxosmicxo]

ೃ⁀➷ cosmic ! | she/her | minor | unfinished navi

⟢ masterlist ! ⟢ rules ! ⟢ tags ! ⟢ anons (?) ⟢ taglist (?)

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ i’m still a student so i try to post consistently but i may be a bit slow🫶

(i’m not sure abt the stuff with question marks lmk if you’d be interested in me doing that !)

[suksatoru]

018. CARNATIONS

Touya used to avoid mirrors. 

Naturally, his gaze would avert if he ever noticed one nearby. It was a habit. A quick, subconscious movement he’d make that felt as natural as breathing. 

He used to wince at his appearance every time he had the unfortunate coincidence of catching sight of it. Whether it was in murky puddles on the side of the street, or within the glass bottles back in the League’s bar late at night—the subtle frown tugging his lips downwards whenever he saw his face would always appear. He found himself to be revolting, disgustingly so.

Found; past tense. He’s still not quite sure what to think of himself now.

Right now, he stares at his reflection quietly in thought. His scars have faded, sure. But they wouldn’t ever leave. He supposes the pain inflicted from them is the same. While it may subside, it can’t just disappear. And he certainly won’t forget it. It would always be lingering, a reminder pressed into his skin and hot as molten metal.

Touya’s hands move to gently trace his scars. They’re not so bad, he supposes. They had been far worse at so many other points in his life. The scarred skin is easy to recognize just by a touch, and while he should be thankful he can feel anything at all—he almost wishes he couldn’t. The scars become so much more prominent when he touches them, because there's no way he can ignore the textured flesh then. His skin is sensitive, tender in a way it shouldn’t be. But after months of surgery after surgery, the final product is better than he could've ever dreamt of after the war.

It’s surreal. All of it was.

His milky skin being revived made him look younger, and a lot more like his mother. Doctors are miracle workers, truly. Touya’s not sure who the person staring back at him in the bathroom mirror was, but he wanted to learn more about him. You’d mentioned something about self love (or maybe it was self respect, Touya can’t remember which). He knows he’s not a mistake, you helped him see that—but he still struggled. Internally, there were some wounds too deep to be healed—damage irreversible in a way that scarred ugly.

Baby steps. He’d taken the big ones with you in terms of healing, but he needed to make some changes on his own, too. Not just for himself, but for his family, and you.

So, he’ll start with familiarizing himself with his face. Treating his body with more care and gentleness, just like you did. Touya pushes the pale strands hanging on his forehead backwards, giving him the most optimal view of his face. 

He swallows the lump building in his throat, and the pressure behind his eyes was beginning to build up until he heard Akari’s knock on the door. Blinking away the haziness, Touya stands—giving himself a once over. He was wearing all black—just a simple sweatshirt and pants, and the clothing was casual and comfortable enough for him to relax in. He grabs the duffel bag laying on his bed, heart hammering as he grips the handle tightly.

He had your letters tucked into the bottom of his bag, but he’ll get rid of them later. He doesn’t want you reading them—even though they were all addressed to you, they were all written when he was at his lowest. If anything, they were nothing but physical proof of how much he’d grown.

So no, you wouldn’t get to read the letters. But Touya intended to make up for his time apart from you—and he’ll reiterate every word with his own approach in person. Akari had done Touya the liberty of mailing his cactus to the Todoroki household, so there were no partings due there.

He stands in front of his doorway, turning to look at his room one last time. The blinds are pulled back and welcome in the rising sun—it felt like the furniture and walls were glowing, thanks to the sun rays. And all though furniture and walls were stationary and unfeeling—he imagined it was their way of saying goodbye to him.

Touya had made a lot of memories in this room with you. The only thing that encouraged him to finally leave was the prospect of making more of them with you.

Akari smiles warmly at Touya when he opens the door, greeting and ushering him towards the elevator. He gives his room one last glance over his shoulder, a soft sigh slipping past his lips before he clicks the door behind him close for the last time.

“I hope you understand that only family is allowed to come pick you up, dear.” She comments, pressing the down button as Touya hums in reply. He wanted to meet his family first, anyway. He still needs to calm himself down a bit more before he sees you—and he can do that on the two hour drive back home. If Touya sees you now, he’s genuinely afraid his heart will go into cardiac arrest or something.

“Thank you, Akari.” Touya finally says, giving the older woman a small nod of acknowledgement as the elevator begins to move.

“You and one other person showed me kindness, and I’m grateful. Really. I didn’t deserve shi-anything, I mean. You helped my mother too, so thank you.”

Akari offers Touya a wrinkly smile in response, and his gaze softens fondly at the sight.

There’s a soft ding! sounding through the elevator. The doors open slowly, and it’s like all the air is punched out of his lungs when Touya finally sees his family standing in the waiting area. It was near comical the way everyone's eyes widened at the same time when Touya came into view—all before they came racing his way.

Shoto was surprisingly the first to reach Touya, quickly wrapping his arms around him before he felt Natsuo’s arms doing the same. Then Fuyumi’s, then his mothers—the tears well in Touya’s eyes embarrassingly quick, but he’s not ashamed in the slightest bit.

Relief. It’s all he can feel—every fiber of his being is alight with pure content at the way he’s pulled into their warm embrace. 

When Touya was sixteen, he had a dream remarkably similar to the reunion playing out in front of him. A certain half red, half white head wasn’t in the picture back then. But right now, Touya can’t stop his head from dipping forward, and he allows it to fall onto Shoto’s shoulder with a shuddering breath before he finally smiles.

Sitting on Touya’s old bed, your fingers card through the bouquet of Carnations laying in front of you diligently. There’s about two dozen of them, and they were all hand picked by yours truly.

The Todoroki household was empty, you were the only one home. They’d gotten the highly anticipated call this morning. Touya had passed his physical and mental evaluation test, giving him the green light to finally come home after eighteen months in rehabilitation.

You pad across the house, pacing in circles and trying to keep yourself occupied. The weather outside was finally warming up. Spring was the perfect time for Touya to come home, you decide. The world outside is blossoming and anew—just like the life Touya was about to begin.

Only family members were allowed in the hospital to pick Touya up. It’s the only reason you’re waiting here at the Todoroki household alone for him. Natsuo had tried to bring you along, but the rules were quite strict. You keep the bouquet flush against your chest, breathing in the fresh flora’s scent—but, it does nothing to tame your excitement.

Touya would be walking through the front door any moment now. You tap your pointer finger against the stems of his flowers, gaze flitting towards the open window you lean against as you keep a close eye out for any approaching vehicles. Impatient as ever, you open the front door and decide to sit yourself outside. The wind muses your hair, and the windchimes hanging outside the entrance sing a magical tune, almost like they can sense your hope hanging in the air.

You see it—Natsuo’s car is about a dozen meters away. Your breath hitches and you rise on shaky legs immediately, clutching Touya’s bouquet for support. The car is still in motion as it prepares to slow to a stop, but Touya swings his door open regardless and jumps out. He grins sharply, teeth and all—and he looks just as beautiful as the day you’d left him.

Touya’s strides are long and confident—proud as his feet hit the pavement. You leave the bouquet on the stairs, stumbling forward to meet his embrace as his body collides with yours. You’re swept off your feet in an instant, and he spins you around so fast that you can’t see anything besides the blur of ivory tufts in front of you and his heart stopping smile.

He repeats your name over and over again—pressing a chaste kiss onto the crown of your head. The tears welling in your eyes don’t sting, they feel more sweet than salty as they dampen your cheeks. Touya’s palm easily maneuvers to the nape of your neck, and his thumb runs over the crystal trail your crying leaves as he tilts your head upwards and towards him.

“You kept your promise.” 

The words are barely louder than a whisper as they fall from his lips, but Touya doesn’t think anyone will ever understand how grateful he is that you gave a broken man like him a chance to feel like this. He breathes you in—your familiar scent filling his senses, and he’s about a second away from bursting into tears because you smell like home.

“Touya,” You choke out, irises shaking as you press a tender kiss onto his lips, one which he reciprocates immediately with the desperation of a man starved of the one thing that gives him life. He pulls away after another moment, his hands quickly moving to your face. Your laughter sounds through the air as he cradles your cheeks in his strong palms, and he presses kisses filled with nothing but his utmost love and devotion onto your skin. No spot on your face was left untouched by his lips—you’re a squirming, giggling mess underneath him—and Touya can already picture waking up every morning for the rest of his life to the sight of your smile.

When Touya was a kid, he thought marriage was gross, and that having kids was a total waste of time, seeing how his childhood turned out. But when you hand him his bouquet of Carnations, when you take his hand and lead him inside the house, when you call out his name with the gentleness akin to an angel—he wants it all. 

He wants to marry you, make you completely his and be completely yours. He wants you to carry his children—no doubt they’ll have your charm and diamond smile—he just wants to be with you forever. To grow old with you and live the rest of his life away from the rest of the world. Away from the cruelty, the violence—it was all he wanted. To finally let his heart rest with you, he can trust you won’t break it like life often seemed to. 

The world tore him open rib by rib, and in the state where his heart was most vulnerable and exposed—you were the one to steal it away.

Touya wouldn’t have it any other way.

CARNATIONS MASTERLIST.

carnations notice :)

tags!

@kawaiidemoneart @porusuniverse @starrmage @lilbeatlebear @bokukenmakuroo

@summercreolefanfictioner @dija200 @phtmmsqrde @sunaraii

@c-lunette @gh0stgirl333 @skullkittens @gurl-pls-evn-the-sharks-fear-me

@hawkwithsocks @suresnips @sugurusmoon @matchablossomsss @moonlitmorganite

@redr0sewrites @muimuiwisteria @sukunaspillow @starsryi

@eidolonwriter @dabislittlemouse @rueclfer @kelin-is-writing

@shugs1801 @imaginationmess

@lasa27 @sophiathefrog @etaerealboy @kooromin @sourbbyxo

@hvnares @ephmeraloblivion @lost-seraphiim @quokka-ina @jesuschrist2006

@stoned-anime-babe @qatiee @shadowsingers-redhood @alycat171

@21-princess

@xileonaaaa @rylerboi @blurryperrtymoonlight @mrcleans4headwrinkle @accidentpronedork

@exquisitenesss @miniatureempathknightpony @afterlife11

[suksatoru]

@dookiemeshibear @dabisdreams @ayoo-bangtan @homeless-clown @luvvvamy

@kyiyoko @sachikomwahxx @cxosmicxo @sweetlike-sugarplum @sap24

@saphiranishimurashan @darling-eos @missmadness123 @wasntpriscilla

@tsumuomiiz @ghostindeath @aryuunachigiri @aisakayua @myuuzx

@somos-things @altgojo @eithec @callmehkhloe

@aria-chikage @wmoony @onyankaponsbae @celestialmoni @hecate-frenchfries @moremaple

[cxosmicxo]

MY SHAYLAAA

[cxosmicxo]

valentines !!

♡ : i. midoriya, k. bakugo, s. todoroki, e. kirishima, d. kaminari, h. sero

☆ : gn!reader, slight fem!reader mention in one of denki's, established relationship, one mention of vomit, very small vocabulary omg, not edited so if you see a typo ignore it

✄ : sorry this is so late!! i hate being busy and i’ve been really busy recently💔 but there will be a new smau coming out later this week also😜😜

- in which the mha boys ask you to be their valentine !

i. midoriya

asks you like the first week of january😭

very responsible!

but hes actually so nervous to ask you even tho you guys are dating ??

almost vomits bc he’s so nervous

was gonna do it in front of your friends but he was too nervous so he did it in private

it was after school and the sun is starting to set so it’s that mix of pink and orange

he texts you telling you to meet him at the pond you guys hangout at

you’re sitting there for maybe a minute, waiting for him

and he comes up behind you with a little “boo!” bc he’s silly😝

you turn around and he’s holding flowers and there’s a little bit of snow on the petals

when he opens his mouth to talk he gets nervous and shuts up and his face is turning bright red

LMAO he turns around, takes a deep breath and turns back around with an anxious smile

“i know it’s early but… will you be my valentine?”

he shuts his eyes like he thinks you’re gonna say no loll

his heart is beating out of his chest when you don’t respond but you’re just awing at him bc he’s so cute💔💔💔

i don’t think i used awing right

he opens his eyes and he’s like “please don’t say no bc i already made a reservation”

you giggle at him and then you hug and say yes of courseeeee

and then you live happily ever after and he gives you flowers, chocolate, stuffed animal, smth you’ve been wanting for a while, and takes you out to dinner and you spend the rest of the weekend together😜

k. bakugo

wasn’t gonna ask you bc he assumed obviously you’re his valentine you’re dating🙄

until he heard your friends talking abt how their boyfriends asked

now he has to one up all of them

does it in private bc “they don’t need to be in our business” but it’s bc no one else needs to see him showing emotion besides you

actually really nervous like izuku it’s giving him a headache

begrudgingly asks his mom what to get you and how to ask you

he just shows up to your dorm and when you open the door he just barges in, shutting the door

you just stare at him confused and he huffs and rolls his eyes

“be my valentine… or whatever”

he’s basically whispering it

but if you ask him to repeat it he’ll walk away😭

you ask him where your flowers/presents are and he’s like “you gotta wait for that, greedy”

but he takes you out to dinner bc he’s had that booked since december/january but you’ll never know that🤫

he gets you flowers and candy and all that cheesy shit but he gets you smth sentimental like omg you loser😩😩😩

very sentimental and probably gave you pictures from when you first met, first started dating, and now

so cute i love him

s. todoroki

also wasn’t gonna ask you but natsuo said he HAS TO

and mina was borderline harassing him abt it lmao

honestly pretty lost and scrolls on tiktok for hourssss looking for gift ideas

he asks you around the first week of february

nothing dramatic he just asked you on a study date at your fav cafe and he brings flowers and asks you as soon as he sees you

he feels like he should be nervous but really isn’t

nonchalant dreadhead shoto

pauses before he asks bc he gets a little nervous but he knows you’ll say yes

omg if you say no as a joke he jaw drops slightly it’s so funny

but on valentine’s day he def takes you to this nice ass restaurant and you guys take cute pictures and everyone’s jealous

when you guys get back to the dorms he gives you your gift and i think he made you a boo basket bc he saw so many videos abt it

has like candy and stuff, probably a jellycat, and the essentials idk you get the point

super cuteness and you spend the rest of the night together and probably go out again the next day😜

e. kirishima

very excited he loves valentine’s day

he just loves loving you!!!

just like izuku he asks you like right after christmas

you guys probably started dating bc he asked you to be his valentine and then you lived happily ever after😝

omg yes wait

it’s the day after christmas and you guys are hanging out with your friends in the commons and he perks up randomly saying he forgot to give you a present and sprints to his dorm

most of you guys are looking at him weird but denki, mina, and sero are looking suspicious

he comes back, out of breath, and he places a medium to large sized box on the coffee table and sits back down next to you

you side eye him with suspicious and take the top off of the box

the box unfolds and there’s flowers and chocolate placed in the middle of a poster that says “all i want for christmas is you… will you be my valentine?” in what looks like mina’s handwriting😭

you gasp and pull him in a tight hug, nodding with a little “of course, you loser” and a giggle

his hands shoot up in victory yelling, “SHE SAID YES!!!” as if he just proposed to you LMAO

everyone (except bakugo bc he left when kirishima left bc he knew the present) cheered loudly and it was so silly😜

valentine’s day rolls around and you’re greeted with him holding flowers in front of your door as so as you open it

“for you m’lady, happy valentine’s day”

after school you guys go eat ofc and go to the park, acting like fools but eventually you guys go back to the dorms and he gives you your presents

he also made a boo basket and has cute sentimental stuff like a handwritten note, a photo album of you guys, and other simple basic stuff

you guys had a romcom marathon and spent the rest of the weekend together with your “extended valentine’s day”

d. kaminari

i’m torn between if he’d lwk forget and ask you the day before or if he’s had this prepared since november😭

def asks you in public and does smth extravagant

like outside your dorm with a boombox

okay so it’s february 1st and you’re finishing up getting ready for school and you’re just abt to head down to the commons

you grab your bag and you hear again by fetty wap blasting on a speaker and it’s coming closer to your room LMAO

so, confused ofc, you step out of your room and see denki holding a poster that clearly wasn’t made by him bc it’s legible, sero holding a boombox, and kirshima holding a bouquet of flowers

can you tell i think im the funniest person ever

most of your class is behind him, cheering him on bc power couple ofc

as he approaches your dorm, sero turns down the music and denki holds the poster in one hand and flowers in the other

his dramatic ass gets down on one knee

“good morning, my beautiful goddess, will-“

“did mina make that poster”

“shut up, will you make me the happiest man alive and be my valentine?”

you laugh and say yes ofc and he jumps up, drops the poster and flowers, and picks you up and spins you around while everyone cheers and takes pictures

very dramatic ofc

on valentine’s day he comes to your door in the morning and gives you flowers and chocolate that he makes you carry it around all day so these mfs know you have a valentine

after school he gives you your presents and he also does a basket thing and it’s very similar to kirishimas but def adds some pictures of himself for you to appreciate lmao

even tho he did a dramatic thing asking you out he’s pretty chill on valentine’s day and just wants you to feel your best and feel loved and appreciated

take insta pics of courseeee and everyone’s jealous and he takes your pictures and he highly trained btw

just like kirishima with the “extended valentine’s day” it’s valentine’s day until you go back to school

you’re attacked by the hip all weekend, everything is a two person job

even if you have to go to the bathroom he’ll stand by the sink

if you kick him out he’ll be curled up against the door while he waits and falls when you open the door

very cutesy very sweet makes sure he’s the best and last bf you have😜😜

h. sero

asks you in a timely manner

very responsible

could do smth extravagant and public or personal and private depending on what you want

probably makes mina ask you abt it so she can tell him

bc of that i won’t specifically describe how he asks so use your imagination to how your perfect valentines proposal would be

classic man, probably brings flowers but if you don’t like flowers or are allergic he’ll bring an alternative like stuffed/dried/lego flowers or wtv

if you want smth public and dramatic he’ll probably yell at you from down the school hallway, run up to you with a poster and loudly ask😭

if you want smth more private and personal he’ll probably ask in the same place he asked you out and have a little cute and meaningful speech

he’s pretty good with words if he wants to and makes you tear up a little bit tbh

use your imagination to fulfill the rest of your dreams <33

similar to kirishima mainly

if you prefer a fancy dinner he’ll book one but if you just wanna get food or stay in the dorms it’s wtv makes you happy bc you being happy makes him happy🤩

but on valentine’s day i’m thinking he gives you smth in the morning like a cute matching bracelet and gives you the rest of your gifts after your date

he follows you around all day and has no shame bc why wouldn’t he

like i said earlier it depends what you want like if you go to a restaurant to eat or just grab some food or stay in the dorms

but after you eat you guys watch cheesy romcoms in his dorm and he gives you your presents

also does a basket and gives you the basic things like everyone else but he does hand write a letter makes a cute thing with pictures from when you first started dating to now

he’s very sentimental tell me he’s not🙄

omg yes he gives you a collage board to hang up on your wall and it’s full of pictures of you guys and tons of memories

he does not play abt valentines LMAO

follows you around all weekend also but he does that anyways

[cxosmicxo]

heyyy so i made smth for valentines but i never got the chance to post it bc its almost done but i’ve been pretty busy these past couple days💔💔

it’s not an smau but i’ve been thinking abt still posting it or trashing it idkkkk

should i still post it???

yessss😜

no girl gtfo of here🙎‍♀️

results for me😋

Voting ended onFeb 17, 2025

[cxosmicxo]

WTF IS THIS IM TIRED OF SEEING IT IM DISTURBED

[cxosmicxo]

can you please write something with showing the mha boys our new piercings.. (such as tongues , eyebrows, or even belly button piercings 👀)

i just like piercings a lot.

piercings !!

♡ : i. midoriya, k. bakugo, s. todoroki, e. kirishima, d. kaminari, h. sero

☆ : gn!reader, a little bit of fem!reader but not really mentioned, fluff, crack, most of them don’t have the piercing mentioned so it’s up to you😜, denki's is painfully unfunny😬

✄ : you’re the absolute sweetest and support my stuff sm so so sorry this took forever im a huge procrastinator luv u😽😽

- in which the mha boys react to your new piercing !

[cxosmicxo]

im TRYING to post the new smau but school wifi sucks so new smau coming out when i get home where i have good wifi😜

[cxosmicxo]

that performance SUCKED!!

[cxosmicxo]

i miss my iphone 4

[cxosmicxo]

hii just wanted to say i love ur weird girl series cuz im a weird girl too 😓😓 we need more weird girl representation 🗣️‼️ ur seriously funny tho like i giggle at those whenever i see them

AHHH THANK YOU THANK YOU!! btw i love when you guys send me stuff like this i thought all these ppl were faking it tbh and didn’t care but i actually love it so much yall have me kicking my feet

and i’m gonna try to be more consistent with posting ik i say that all the time🙄 but i wanna post like twice a week im working on another one rn bc i have old requests i never answered bc i suck🙏

so if you requested smth a while ago i’ll get to it soon thank you for being patient i love you guys❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️😽😽😽😽

[cxosmicxo]

I just randomly found you and binged all of your weird girl series I beg of you please more😭😭😭 whenever I read them it was like did somebody put the essence of my soul in this post like what?😔 your work is greatly appreciated.



weird girl: e. kirishima edition !!

☆ : crack, suggestive jokes bc im immature, a bit ooc, this isn’t that weird bc im kinda running out of tbh…….😶

✄ : thank you i appreciate the love it makes me giggle and kick my feet😋😋 sorry for disappearing randomly they were not lying abt junior year!!!!

- in which you’re kirishima’s weird gf !

[cxosmicxo]

weird girl smau kirishima edition coming out hopefully today😛😛

[cxosmicxo]

kirishima would do your curly hair routine for you when you don’t want to💔

[suksatoru]

016. CARNATIONS

The first month Touya spent without you didn't feel real. He felt like a kid waiting by the door for you to come back every night. And with every day that passed, your absence was a cruel jackhammer into his heart that reminded him you weren't coming, no matter how much he wanted you to. His mind felt like it had been unplugged, a dull melancholy beating in place of it instead.

He spends a lot of his time thinking about you. Touya knows how much people can change in so little time. So, he wonders what will have changed about you when he sees you again. It's like a fairytale playing out in his mind whenever he thinks of you—because all he can see is himself flying through these next few months and straight into your arms. He's not afraid of forgetting the sound of your laughter or the way your eyes crinkle when you smile, because those very things were permanently etched into his soul. You were a tattoo kiss that couldn't be erased, serving as a silent reminder of what he was fighting so hard for.

His mind is a broken record player that only shows him moments in time with you—moments where he had felt true happiness for the first time in his life. He'd wake up with his heart beating fast and his eyes stinging like they'd been washed with the hottest of spices.

The second month is when the chilling realization that Touya got you fired finally settles in. He never really thought past the fact that you didn't have a job here at the hospital anymore—he chose to stay blissfully ignorant rather than thinking too hard about it. He felt the guilt bubbling and burning in his chest, how had he not been more worried about your well being? Truly, Touya was stupefied. Why hadn't you expressed even a shred of anger towards him? Just a few sharp words would be fine, Touya wouldn't mind at all. Because it would make sense. You were jobless, thanks to him.

And it's not like you'd been fired from just any job, it's not like Touya's father had placed him in just any hospital. This hospital laid in Japan's most beautiful lands, on acres of endless greenery. It was the best institution for hundreds of miles in every direction.

Touya can't help but go down the rabbit hole in his mind, crawling deeper and deeper into the infinite number of possibilities your kindness made. And Touya was unfamiliar with being around people who didn't have ulterior motives, so much so that he had trouble simply understanding that maybe you not getting mad at him was just a show of humanity. Something he wasn't familiar with.

The third month is when Touya is handed a calendar. The numbers and months are all scripted in cursive, spanning multiple pages that felt like the softest silk between his fingers. After flipping through the calendar, Touya decides he wants to hang it on the wall. Your gel pen hangs loosely from Touya's lips as he bites down on the end of it, his hands working to carefully pin his calendar to the wall. Gradually, the boxes fill up with red marks crossing out each one of them. There's still a great number of pages to go, but Touya's release day is regarded with a small smiley face he drew.

The fourth month is when Touya has his first nightmare since you left.

He went to bed that night as he always did. He did his nightly routine of washing up and combing through his hair until it was a fluffy cloud atop his head. He stared at his slowly healing scars in the mirror for at least fifteen minutes before changing into his night clothes and settling down to write his letter of the day to you. Some days, his letters would span pages—stray papers would be strewn all over his bed as he tried to organize his thoughts. And other nights, he'd only write down a sentence or two before folding up his letter and filing it away. All the letters he wrote were kept in a small box Akari gave Touya to keep near his bed. Touya has a feeling you'll be proud of how much his handwriting has improved when you read his letters.

His nightmare was unexpected. It was dark and heavy in a way that made it feel like his lungs were collapsing and someone was stepping on his throat. He woke up the moment it became too much for his heart to handle, sitting straight up in his bed with a strangled gasp as his hand moved to clutch his night shirt—trying to ease his breathing.

A bead of sweat rolled down the side of his face, and Touya's tongue darts out to wet his dried lips before he glances at the emergency button beside his bed. He's not completely sure if he's having some sort of a heart attack, but his throat is closing up, and he feels terribly dizzy. He swings a leg over the edge of his bed, cradling his head in his hands as his eyes squeeze close.

But, he'll be fine. Because he remembers your breathing exercises. Like clockwork, Touya breaths in and out—he counts and he thinks about his senses; what he feels, hears, smells—and then his erratic heart slows to a calmer melody. After that, Touya is able to lay back down, though shivering, and go back to sleep. It takes him a bit of time, but his head feels like its been stuffed with cotton. Soon enough, his pale lashes are fluttering close.

Dabi would have broken down. Dabi wouldn't have gone back to bed, he would've stalked out of whatever shitty hideout he was camping in and find something to burn. Maybe an abandoned car lot so he could melt the cars that sat stationary and forgotten‚ because melting metal looked like liquid gold sometimes. An illusion of a drug all in its own, destruction had been Touya's escape at one point.

But now, Touya sleeps like a baby in his room—with a trickle of drool running down his chin as he snores quietly. His bed head was a mess, too—but despite it all, he resembles an angel that had regrown its own wings. Touya has shed Dabi in the same manner a snake sheds to reveal the new layer of skin beneath, untouched and pure.

The fifth month is warm. Touya walks in the recreational garden a lot more as the sun begins to shine more, and his cactus has been growing a lot, too. Touya feels stronger—not physically, though he is proud his body isn't anywhere near as weak as it had once been. Mentally, his head had ceased its constant screaming. It was like all the noise had come to a screeching halt. And although he doesn't know what change there was in his chemistry that made him feel this way, he's grateful. Every day is a day closer to you—every breathing second a second closer to the home he knew.

The sixth month is when Touya starts getting emotional. He's so close—he can almost hear your voice calling out his name. He daydreams about you constantly, wondering how hard he's going to hug you once he sees you again. Tonight is one of those nights where Touya pours his heart and soul into his letter. He only had a few more days left until he'd see you again. The doctors had run multiple tests and evaluations on him, and he'd exceeded their expectations. Just like he promised you he would.

Touya's eyes squint when he realizes his words weren't forming on the page in front of him—before realizing his pen had run out of ink again.

He fights the urge to let his eyes close as he quickly caps the old pen and tries reaching for another one—but his hand misses the pencil case twice. His eyelids were heavy with sleep—blurry too, and he couldn't even manage to grab another pen for himself. Touya didn't even hear Akari enter his room—all he felt was a gentle pair of frail hands helping him stand. His legs felt like jelly, and he regarded the older woman with squinted eyes.

" 'm not a baby, Akari." Touya mutters as he gently removes Akari's hand from him. His voice is hoarse, and Akari laughs lightly at the sight of Touya's sleepy smile. If she didn't know better, she'd say he was drunk. Simply put, he was acting silly. But he was just high off of the prospect of seeing your face again.

"Let's get you to bed, Touya." Akari responds softly as Touya nods groggily. He's about a foot away from the bed when he speaks up, the worlds tumbling from his lips in something close to a whine. He was delirious from lack of sleep, but even then—he was only thinking of one thing.

"I miss my Y/n,"

Akari mutters a quiet oh dear when Touya suddenly loses all his will to stand. Touya crumples against her completely, his larger frame moving sluggishly as his head fell with a quiet exhale. Akari lets out a started yelp before carefully helping Touya lower himself onto the bed. His words were slurred with sleep, and it was clear that he hadn't gotten enough rest these past few days.

"She's waiting for me out there. I...I really can't wait to see her," Touya admits breathlessly, and Akari hums as she pulls his blanket over him. Touya doesn't move an inch, resorting to staring up at the ceiling above him as he presses the back of his forearm against his forehead.

"Night, Akari. Get some sleep, yeah?" Touya yawns, finally rolling over to get comfortable in bed as he presses his cheek against his pillow. Akari rises from her chair, gently patting Touya's shoulder as she bids him goodnight. Touya keeps an eye on Akari until he can confirm she's safely left the room before finally allowing his eyes to close, succumbing to his fatigue as he falls asleep.

Touya feels like a little kid all over again. He felt like he could face the world and come out on top—and it was an incredible feeling. He hadn't felt this type of hope in a long time, but you inspired something youthful in him—rekindling a flame deep inside he thought had been put out so many years ago.

CARNATIONS MASTERLIST.

a/n; everyone say thank you taylor swift. carnations would not be a thing without her, this girl got me through every chapter 😭 i can't write a single word unless she's playing...i think i'm crazy...💔 alsoo touya is so in love in makes me fawking sick. OH btw, y/n cried cause she missed his b-day after getting fired. but this guy was giggling in his room while writing u love letters because he literally forgot it was his birthday and was just minding his own business completely unaware until akari brought him a cupcake. anywho we are getting close to the end of carnations... i can feel it 🥲 i'm still not sure how i feel about this chapter. hmph.

tags!

@kawaiidemoneart @porusuniverse @starrmage @lilbeatlebear @bokukenmakuroo

@summercreolefanfictioner @dija200 @phtmmsqrde @sunaraii

@c-lunette @gh0stgirl333 @skullkittens @gurl-pls-evn-the-sharks-fear-me

@hawkwithsocks @suresnips @sugurusmoon @matchablossomsss @moonlitmorganite

@redr0sewrites @muimuiwisteria @sukunaspillow @starsryi

@eidolonwriter @dabislittlemouse @rueclfer @kelin-is-writing

@shugs1801 @imaginationmess

@lasa27 @sophiathefrog @etaerealboy @kooromin @sourbbyxo

@hvnares @ephmeraloblivion @lost-seraphiim @quokka-ina @jesuschrist2006

@stoned-anime-babe @qatiee @shadowsingers-redhood @alycat171

@21-princess

@xileonaaaa @rylerboi @blurryperrtymoonlight @mrcleans4headwrinkle @accidentpronedork

@exquisitenesss @miniatureempathknightpony @afterlife11

[suksatoru]

@jacuzzibuns @its-a-dam-blue-brick

@xinxinpeh @enouche @saltyschnitzel @hearts4tsuki @giyuism

@vanoilette @ydkmsstuff @deadhands69 @kanekisheart @nanamisrighthand

@slothsmoths @wastedspaceace @jupiterswrld @froggy-crystal @nousija

@redesiuk  @heartsfortouya @un-aesthetic @lizzie3d2y

@bffrrufr @prettydeeryess @geese-geese @rttnteef @sleepyturtlee

@bitch-spaghetti-o @the2ndl @kerokreature

@dookiemeshibear @dabisdreams @ayoo-bangtan @homeless-clown @luvvvamy

@kyiyoko @sachikomwahxx @cxosmicxo @sweetlike-sugarplum

@saphiranishimurashan @darling-eos @missmadness123 @wasntpriscilla

@tsumuomiiz @ghostindeath @aryuunachigiri @aisakayua @myuuzx

@somos-things @altgojo @eithec @callmehkhloe

[cxosmicxo]

thinking of adding more to the weird girl! series… who should be next???

😛

denki

kirishima

sero

for me😋 (pls dont click unless u hate me🙏🙏)

Voting ended onJan 31, 2025

[cxosmicxo]

i think if you didn’t wanna take your makeup off denki would do it for you while you lay in bed

and i need that rn

[matteglaze]

slighty 'acoustic' (mha boys)

feat. kirishima, tokoyami, denki, bakugou, shouto, shinso,

please send in ideas for smau... my brain can only handle so much (this is not a way of me asking for more asks)

[cxosmicxo]

LMAOOO I WANNA DO THIS NOW